A/N: GleekyPenguin a.k.a. penguinswithguns won my 700th review! And for this drabbleshot, she asked for, and I quote:
"Would you write Puck/Finn smut for me? (The first thing that comes to mind when I think of that is that Finn suddenly has kitty ears and Puck makes good use of the fact that they're really, really sensitive.) 'Cause I would really love that."
AND I FECK'N LOVE THIS IDEA. It's so very… anime-like. It amuses me greatly, and as soon as I read it I had a whole bunch of ideas. LOL.
And so, without further ado, enjoy my first Fuck fic. (LoL this pairing name.)
"Puck! Dude, please, you have to play hooky and come over."
"But Finn, I'm driving to school right now. You want me to just make a U-turn and come all the way to your house?"
"Yes! Seriously, this is an emergency. A freak-weird-trippy-kinda-cool-but-totally-bizarre emergency! I couldn't even let Kurt see it. I had to convince my mom and Burt through the door that I was sick as all Hell and couldn't go to school today. But it's just… I woke up and things were messed up, dude," the panicking teen relays over the phone.
Puck shrugs, pins his cell phone to his shoulder and ear, and makes a turn. He starts heading toward the spiffy new Hummel-Hudson abode. "This better be worth it, man. And I demand a free lunch out of this; I'm missing breakfast food day! They usually have sausage and waffles today, Finn. Yeah, it's the crappy school kind, but, waffles."
"Puck, I could care less about your waffle fetish. I need my best friend right now," Finn hisses back, and it's actually a hiss, sounding less venomous than Fin's usual "hiss" and more… like a cat's.
Frowning, Puck lets Finn hang up on him and plays some radio tunes while he drives the remaining ten-or-so minutes to the new neighborhood full of some really nice houses. Puck pulls into the driveway of a lesser-but-still-awesome house and doesn't even have the chance to knock. Before he can raise his knuckles to the wood from the confines of his jeans pockets, Finn is ripping open the door, grabbing Puck by his spring jacket, and hauling him inside.
Puck immediately raises his eyebrows with interest as Finn slams the door behind him.
"The parents are at work, and Kurt already left for Dalton. This is good. I don't want anyone to see this. I just… I don't even know how it happened, but I needed to tell someone, and Kurt would just make fun of me, and my mom would flip out, and Burt would think it is fake, and you… I don't know. You're pretty much the only other friend I have left right now, dude. Sam's pissed at me because of that cheating fling with Quinn –"
"Which is totally hypocritical of you, dude, since you hated me for getting Quinn preggers and making out with Berry, and yet you kinda don't mind cheating when you're the one doing it, but. Whatever, Point is, you're slowly turning into a stud like me, and that's cool." He snorts a laugh. "By the way, Finny-boy: what's with the weird hat? It looks ridiculous."
"Yeah, well. That's kinda the issue, Puck." Finn sighs. He yanks off the knitted beanie, and sticking up from the sides of his head where his human ears should be are a pair of cat ears.
Cat ears. The ears of a kitty. A feline. A cat.
Puck gapes for a moment; the fur is the same color as Finn's hair, and looks so real. The ears are tilted downward in embarrassment or shame, and Finn has a grumpy, pouting expression on his face.
Puck almost wants to laugh. He nearly does. Instead, he cracks a smile and reaches up. "Holy shit, dude, are those real? That's awesome! How'd you do it?"
And Puckerman pinches gently at the lobe, stroking upwards to the tip, feeling the heat and delicacy of the enlarged cat ears that look comically like an anime character's on Finn's poor head. It's like some weird mutation or deformity, and Puck doesn't know if it's permanent or not, but it's funny as Hell and totally amazing-feeling under his fingertips. Soft and fuzzy, warm, and completely legit. Puck raises an eyebrow in interest, and rubs behind Finn's new ear.
"Ahh, P-Puck, don't! Seriously, hah, that's… that feels strange. Stop it!" Finn adds, and for added effect (since his words were getting him nowhere), he bat Puck's hand away. "I mean it, dude! These things are sensitive. Now I see why cats like being pet so much; it's… it's kinda…" And he drifts off, making an obscene gesture to indicate arousal.
Puck grins devilishly. "Oh really?" he muses, and pushes Finn down to sit on the couch. Finn hadn't even noticed that his best friend was walking him backward toward the object until he fell onto it. "Then maybe you should let me test that theory a little more. See if it actually works."
"Wh-what? Puck, no. That's totally… uh… well, gay! Why would you wanna –"
"To see if I can. It's something I've always wondered, as a profession stud: can I make guys swoon, too? Can I make a guy hot 'n' bothered? Besides, Finn, we're pals, aren't we? So this is no big deal. We can get past something like this if anything happens. You can always trust me, dude. I'm your man, remember?" Puck assures the taller teen, and he makes a move to straddle Finn's lap.
Finn goes pink in the face, and he means to shove Puck off and tell him to leave, that this isn't cool nor a good idea, but his though process comes to a halt as Puck distract him with a tweak to his ear.
Finn's ears twitch rapidly, like when an actual cat's ear is irritated, and one ear tilts down while the other stays up as Fin cocks his head. "What are you doing?"
Puck says nothing, simply smirks and leans forward, bringing up both hands to caress the furry additions at the same time. He scratches behind the bases, watching as Finn's brows relax and his mouth starts to hand open, his chin tilting up into the movement. And when Puck starts rubbing the pointed shells of the feline ears and moves his fingers down to tickle just inside them where the stiffer hairs sprout, Finn moans, nearly purrs, and his breathing hitches.
Puck chuckles softly to himself as Fin's breathing speeds up once Puck captures those petal-soft, flattening ears between his fingers and thumb and strokes from the base to the tip on either side of Finn's face. It's like velvet under his hands, and Finn is reacting beautifully, and Puck almost feels like he could get into this; not a cat-ear fetish, but being with a guy. Finn, at least. Being with Finn is nice. Easy.
"P-Puck…" Finn moans, and his eyes are falling shut once Puck releases the ears and moves to run his nails through Finn's hair, scratching lightly on his scalp and brushing over where the ears connect seemingly naturally onto Finn's head.
"I can tell, you know." Puck murmurs in a sultry tone, "You're hard, Finn." And just to prove his point, he rocks forward with his hips in his friend's lap. Finn makes a funny noise, something higher-pitched than his usual voice, and Puck likes the vibrato in the sound. "This because of your sensitive kitty-ears, or are you just happy to see me?"
Finn tries not to laugh. He peers up at Puck into his stunning hazel eyes – why hadn't he noticed before? – and smiles lopsidedly. "Both, I guess," he mumbles, and timidly brings his hands up to rest on Puck's hipbones. He can feel them through Puck's heated skin as he slips his thumbs under Puck's shirt and over his low-rising jeans.
"'M glad," Puck smirks. "Now then, Finn Hudson, since I've made such a problem in your pants, should I help you fix it?"
"Puck, you're freaking weird," Finn mumbles, but even so, he's moving to slide his flannel lounge pants down his thighs as he raises his hips beneath Puck. Puck is oddly turned on by this flexible action, and he likes his viewpoint on it, too. He can see some exposed skin, and a boy's or girl's, it doesn't matter, because Puck's always been a fan of skin.
Puck doesn't hesitate to lift Finn's shirt of his head, and as soon as he spies Finn's arousal, he isn't fazed. He simply shrugs, whips out a condom packet from his pocket – a stud always comes prepared, no matter who, what, when, where, or why – and distracts Finn with a sudden kiss as he slides the freshly opened rubber onto the taller boy's erection.
"Puck, what –" Finn's about to ask, but a highly cat-like mewl escapes him as soon as Puck tugs on one of Finn's ears as further distraction. Okay, Puck might be developing a bit of a roleplay fetish for sex kittens now. Just slightly.
Puck takes the head of Finn's length in his mouth, one hand at the base of it as he slides off Finn's lap and kneels in front of the couch on the floor. Finn gasps loudly and bucks his hips uncontrollably for a moment, and Puck reacts mildly, moving his hand from Finn's member and using it to hold Finn's pelvis to the couch, his other hand toying with a nipple on Finn's chest.
"Th-this… this isn't– I-I–"
Puck removes his active tongue from the flavored condom and smirks. "Don't try to talk, Finn. It isn't going to come out right. Just lean down a little so I can keep playing with those overly adorable ears of yours," he directs, and Finn is too mute with pleasure and confusion to argue.
It doesn't take long with Puck's talented tongue and guitar-trained hands to make Finn reach his climax. When Finn comes, though, Puck notes with a tight coil in his lower belly, Finn exhales with a hiss and through clenched teeth, moans, "Noahhhh."
And it's a not-so-well-known fact that Puck secretly likes it when his real first name is called during anything overtly sexual. So as soon as it leaves Finn's lips, Puck rushes up, plants a firm, demanding kiss on Finn's lips, and takes this opportunity to shuck off the condom, tie it quickly (a skill he's picked up), and toss it aside to free up his hands. He uses Finn as a means of balance as he climbs back into the taller male's lap, inching and inching until he's pressed flush against his best friend.
Finn isn't shy, now; still a little breathless, he presses right back against Puck's advances, and even brings his hands along the curve of Puck's spine, downward, until he's gripping Puck's ass.
"What about you?" Finn murmurs sloppily, his bottom lip a little preoccupied as it's being sucked on.
The earless friend considers this. He leans back slightly, a little amused that Finn is such a nice guy that he'll even return a favor, and also a little irritated because he isn't sure what Finn would be willing to do, since the guy isn't used to this sort of thing.
Clicking his tongue, Puck grabs one of Finn's hands and brings it to the front of his jeans. "Just an HJ will do, Finny-boy. And I'll be sure to keep your mind at bay by playing with those cute ears of yours. I sure hope they're permanent, bro; I like 'em. You'd have to wear a hat all the time to avoid being a freak, but they're… a nice touch."
Finn makes a nonchalant shrug and hastily unbuttons Puck's pants. Today was a commando day, Finn notices with a slight blush as he feels his hand immediately brush skin where underwear should be. And Puck is hard. Really wound up, and all without barely being touched; at least, not touched as much as Finn just had been. And as Finn swallows nervously, eyes fluttering closed around another kiss, he wraps his fingers around Puck's length, feeling the pre-come, wet and slick on his fingers.
He tries not to think about it; think about how gay this is, how Kurt would be jealous that a straight (or not?) guy is getting more action than him (all while he attends an all-boys school), and he tries hardest not to think about how this might affect his and Puck's recently rekindled friendship. He forces it all out of his mind, his car ears leaking his worrisome moods, but going unnoticed as Puck continues to attack his mouth.
Finn jerks quickly with his hand, twisting a little at the top and slamming his palm back down to the base, like he does to himself when he gets really into it when he's alone. Puck whines into Finn's mouth, clearly liking the feeling, and Finn feels his stomach lurch with newfound arousal as soon as Puck remembers to play with Finn's hair and rub his ears.
And then, in a rush, it's all over; Finn feels Puck's shaft leak and then burst, and right as a gasping grunt escapes Puck's lips.
They clean up, calm down, and half an hour later they're chilling on the couch, watching a movie, as if none of it had ever happened. Because that how guy friends are, sometimes. They don't try to complicate things like a girl might. A girl would seek answers to her sudden ears; a girl would flip out about doing something sexual with her best friend. But guys, especially ones like Finn and Puck? They try not to think too hard about it.