title: be my escape
pairing: SasuSaku, GaaSaku, ItaSaku, KibaHina, SaiIno, ShikaIno, NaruIno, NejiTen
warning: Sex. Drugs. Alcohol. Abuse. Bulimia and anorexia. You know, the works.
summary: "You need to stop, Sakura." His voice was disgusted, but she was too smashed to care. "But Sasuke-kun, it makes everything go away. I like escaping."
disclaimer: don't own naruto, don't own anything else you might recognize.
authoress: somebodyspecialx
story type: Chapter fic. I'll try to make this as long as possible, but I don't know how long that is...
genres: Romance/Angst
notes: Read A/N at the top.

A/N: I don't know why, but OpenOffice seems so much less scary when there's a giant author's note at the top. Thus, I'm writing a giant author's note 8D So, hello, and this is where I got the idea for this story: I did something stupid (AKA went off campus of my school to get totally shitfaced and came back to school as such) and I was explaining to my best friend Kira why I did such. And that explaination pretty much involved: "Yeah, it was stupid. But Kira, do you know what it's like to just want to escape? I needed to get away from everything, so I drowned myself in beer." Yeah, it was really stupid of me, I know, I know, but hey, it gave me inspiration for this, right? Haha. Have fun reading!

...

Looking around wildly to make sure nobody was going to come in (but who could walk in, sakura honey, nobody's home), Sakura took the bottle of rum carefully in her hands. Her little pasty white hands shook a little bit, this was only the second time she'd done it.

Get a grip! She yelled at herself mentally. Remember the first time? Don't you want it to be like that again? She remembered the first time, all right. How could she forget? Sure, she didn't remember any of the events that took place that night, but she sure as hell remembered the feeling. Everything had went away that night. All the pain, the sorrow... She couldn't even remember where all of the bruises came from. And she loved it. Of course, the hangover afterwards was not fun, but you know... It was a price Sakura would pay to make everything go away.

She sighed, before bringing the bottle up to her pale pink lips. She needed this. So Sakura poured the bottle of the alcohol into her mouth, and her throat burned with it. It was like her throat was on fire. She hated that feeling, but she knew soon enough she would get her prize.

She continued taking large sips of the rum until the bottle (which started out full) was almost empty. And then the feeling started to kick in.

Sakura smiled goofily (wonderful, sakura, you did it! i'm so proud of you) as her mother's voice filled her mind. Everything in sight - her purple bedspread, her dresser, the mirror, the door - was all blurry and hard to make out. She laughed at this.

Everything was gone now, and she could escape from the hell she was forced to call home.

...
be my escape
chapter un
keep on drinking, hun (your problems won't go away)
by somebodyspecialx
...

"Oi, bastard, don't you think Sakura-chan seems a bit... Off, lately?" A blonde haired, blue eyed boy asked the teen next to him.

Uchiha Sasuke stood outside the changing curtain, waiting for Uzumaki Naruto to (hurry the hell up, dammit) finish changing. "Hn. Dobe." This was all he said, and Naruto was not surprised. He didn't really expect an answer from the stoic boy anyways.

Naruto opened the curtain, revealing that he was (finally, it only took him five freaking minutes) changed into his gym uniform. He sighed heavily at his best friend, and shook his head. And with that, they started walking to the gym, Sasuke zoning out and Naruto ranting about something unimportant.

"But, yes, Naruto, she does seem a bit off recently." Too Naruto's surprise, Sasuke said. Of course, it was in his usual monotone, but still. It was something.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun, Naruto!" A happy voice greeted them when they arrived at the gym. Naruto easily broke into a smile and Sasuke nodded in recognition – the girl they had just been discussing was now smiling happily at her two best friends.

Even though Sasuke knew Naruto didn't notice (obviously, he's too dumb to. look at him, grinning at her like nothing's wrong! he should know he doesn't have a chance by now), but he did. He saw how loopy her smile was. He saw how she couldn't walk in a straight line. He heard how she messed up her speech was ("Sooo... how... was, uh... how was today, Naruto?") She couldn't even present small sentence without stuttering obnoxiously.

The youngest Uchiha narrowed his eyes at her for a brief moment, but took off the glare before either of his two friends could notice. He knew these symptoms – he had seen his brother's friend come to his house with them all the time. She was wasted. And pretty badly, too. He was going to have to have a talk with her later.

On the other hand, as drunk as Sakura was, she knew the look Sasuke was giving her. And a little light went off in her mind. She may be drunk, but she was still the smartest girl in school. (sasuke knows, sakura. stay away from him after gym. if you don't, he'll do something about it) She decided she was, indeed, going to stay away from Sasuke as long as she was in her drunken state. Luckily, that wouldn't be too hard, considering next class was her free block, and Sasuke wasn't in it. She was free to run off wherever before she had to go home... She unconsciously shivered at the thought. (careful, sakura. sasuke's eyes are on you, and if you're not careful he'll notice that, too)

This same thing (Sakura coming to school shitfaced, Sasuke trying to talk to her, Sakura avoiding him) went on until Friday, and this was the scariest moment for Sakura. Her last class of the day – English, where nothing ever happens because it's Kakashi – was with Sasuke. And with her luck, Kakashi wouldn't even bother to show up.

Unfortunately, she was right. Before Sasuke sat in his usual seat (next to her) she took a long gulp of her 'water bottle'. Which wasn't actually water, it was (this time) good old fashioned beer. There had been barely any rum left and she didn't want to risk her father noticing. The beer had a horrible after taste, and Sakura scrunched up her face as a result. Of course, this was Sakura, and since she just drags bad luck everywhere Sasuke had to arrive then.

Oh, how she wished she had a mint right now.

"Sakura." Sakura could hear him calling her name repeatedly, but she was in her own little world, of a happier time. She could hear him growl in frustration after a few minutes, and she wanted to laugh. So she did. When you're drunk, you're drunk, and your body moves for you.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun! Your growl is quite cute, you know," she told him. If Sakura was not in her drunken stupor, she would have never said something like that to the Uchiha. But as they say, a drunken mind speaks a sober heart, and this is especially true for the pinkette.

His eyes narrowed at her. He knew she was extremely plastered, and he was not happy about it. Every day this entire week she had come in at least a bit tipsy, but today had been the worst. Maybe it was because she was carrying around a bottle full of it, that she kept sipping every five minutes or so.

The entire class was off with their own cliques. This was the only class where Sasuke didn't have fan girls, seeing as this was an honors class. Hell, the only other girl in the class was that Tenten girl, and she was dating Neji. She was the only one who might interrupt their 'conversation', but seeing as she was engrossed in an arm wrestling match with her boyfriend, he decided he would try getting this (not so) little talk over and done with.

"Sakura, you're drunk."

The sentence came out clear and was right to the point, as he usually talks. Sakura frowned at him, though.

"I-i-i don't know..." she trailed off, trying not to slur her words, "what you're talking about, Sasu-chan." He cringed at the nickname inwardly, but didn't take it to any offense.

He sighed, after he got over the fact she called him Sasu-chan. "Sakura," he tried again, but she wasn't paying attention anymore. She was sipping away on her "water" bottle, without a care in the world. Well, he should've expected keeping a drunk girl's attention was hard.

"Sakura, listen to me." His words were crisp and harsh this time, and Sakura shuddered. He sounded so much like him it scared her. So this time, she turned in his general direction, her eyes closed, and she took a long swig of her bottle.

Sasuke, being Sasuke, sneered at her. He hated it when people, especially his friends were like this. And especially when they were doing something as... disturbing as this.

"You need to stop, Sakura." His words came out coldly, and his voice was disgusted, but now she was too smashed to care.

"But, Sasuke-kun," she spoke, her voice wobbly, "it makes everything go away." He gave her an odd look, which she didn't catch. She took a deep breath. "It lets me escape. I like escaping." And with that last line being said, she passed out.

….

She woke up, hours later, in an unfamiliar room. Shit! Was the first thought that came to mind as she frantically looked around. Until a pounding headache came on. And there comes the hangover, she thought as she whimpered and laid back down. This was the only part she hated about drinking. But so far, she had dealt with it quite well for the week.

Unfortunately, she knew she was going to have to find another alternative soon. Not only because the hangovers would start to get irritating after the next week or so, but he would also notice his alcohol disappearing. Which would be bad.

But first things first; Sakura had to figure out where she was, exactly.

"Sakura. You're awake."

She looked over meekly to where the voice was coming from, and she dimly thought it sounded familiar. And apparently, she was right. Sitting on the couch on the other side of the room was the one and only Uchiha Sasuke. She tried to smile, but his glare shot it down immediately.

Though Sasuke appeared to be angry at her, all he felt now was relieved. He wasn't sure if he was going to have to take her to the hospital or what, and plus... She was his (other) best friend. She mattered a great deal to him, though he would never admit that out loud.

"Um... Hi, Sasuke-kun..." Sakura was a smart girl, she could guess what had went on. She must have passed out in English and he must have taken her home to his house to make sure she was alright. On the inside, she grinned. Sasuke showing he cared about anything? It was a rarity indeed.

His glare harshend. She flinched. "You can't do that anymore."

She nodded glumly. "I was planning on stopping soon anyway. These hangovers," she put a hand up to her skull, as if it would soothe the surging pain, "are terrible. I wouldn't have been able to take them for much longer..." She looked down. She knew she was in trouble. And he would probably tell Itachi, or her father, or someone. That would be bad.

"Sasuke-kun, I'll promise to find an ulterior if you promise not to tell." Even as she spoke these words with the most confidence she could muster, Sakura still couldn't look at the raven haired male in front of her.

Sasuke inwardly held a victorious smirk. He wasn't planning on telling anyone anyway, but what's a little white lie going to do? "Fine, Sakura. I won't tell if you stop."

Truth be told, the young Uchiha didn't know what she meant by 'ulterior'. He had a few guesses, but he kept those to himself. If she hadn't thought of those things, then he didn't want to give the pinkette any ideas.

Even though it hurt, Sakura grinned. "Thank you, Sasuke-kun!" She was even happier he didn't ask what her ideas an 'ulterior' were.

…

Saturday, the next day. Sakura's father was at work all day, and she was free to do whatever she wanted. Which was good. Because she had the perfect idea.

Picking up her cell phone, she quickly scrolled through the large amount of contacts, stopping on the first G in the list. She hit the green "send" button and waiting for him to answer.

"Haruno, it's ten in the morning on a Saturday. What the fuck do you want?"

She grinned. Same old Gaara, even though they hadn't spoken in months.

"Oh, Gaara, Gaara, Gaara. Don't be so naive. What are you famous for at school?" Her voice was sly, and she liked how much confidence it held, though on the inside she was scared stiff. (don't be scared, sakura. you're doing fine)

She heard a loud sigh on the line. "Three pills for twenty bucks. I'm cutting you a deal, I hope you know, because of our past... Friendship." She smiled. If you could count fuck buddies as a friendship.

"Thank you, Gaara. Where and when should I meet you?"

"Where we used to, ah, 'hang out'. In forty five minutes. That okay?"

She nodded, and then realized he couldn't possibly see that action, seeing as they were on the phone. "Sure, that's fine." And then she heard a click and the call was done. She sighed with a smile on her face, he never did say anything before getting off the phone.

This ulterior, she knew (it always did look so much fun, didn't it?) wouldn't make her feel above the world like drinking did. This would make her feel numb. And the fact of the matter is, numb is one f the closest things she can get to escaping the world.

Putting on her dark pink high top converses, she grabbed her keys and was out the door. Today was going to be a good day, she hoped. But then again, this was Sakura, and with her, anything could go wrong.

end of chapter un
(keep on drinking, hun [your problems won't go away])
AN: So! How did you like my first attempt at a chapter story in a ridiculously long time? I think it came out okay. And I should have the next chapter up by Sunday next week. Review please! Cuz reviews make me write :)
love kelsi.