Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age, or any of the characters. I only put my spin on the story, and used my actual Warden character chosen in the game as the character for this. Bioware and EA does.
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Well, I have never had an actual journal before…I was never the type of girl to keep a diary. I was always too busy training with Ser Gilmore and my brother to give a hoot about things that normal girls do. But Wynne had an idea; due to the high risk of our mission and the good chance that one or more of us would fall in the battle to come, she thought it would be a good idea to keep detailed records of our experiences. That way if we died, Ferelden could see our final thoughts and everything we did in order to save them. Leliana and I agreed that it was genius, but the thought of her dying…I just can't think about that.
This has been one hell of a ride so far. I went from being the noble daughter of Teyrn Bryce Cousland and his famously beautiful wife Eleanor, the headstrong nineteen year old who was skilled in the arts of swordplay and diplomacy, into the on-the-run newly initiated Grey Warden fleeing from the place I once called home, leaving my family behind to their death by the hands of Rendon Howe, (former) friend of my fathers.
When Duncan recruited me into the famed Wardens and escaped with me in tow from Highever, I was but a broken shell of my former self. I had witnessed the deaths of people I had called friends, had known my entire life. Nan, dead in the kitchen she loved dearly. The elven servants cut down and desecrated with cruel words carved into their flesh. Orianna and Oren… broken and lifeless on the floor of the room they shared with my brother, blood pooling around them. I had fought furiously to get to my father with my brave mother at my side, picking off Howe's guards with her bow. My home was in flames, in ruin. We finally made it to my father, but his wounds were fatal. He knew that we could not escape with him; it would be a burden. So he elected to stay behind, and my heroic mother stayed by his side. She bought Duncan and I time to escape, at the cost of both their lives.
We traveled to Ostagar, then. I was quiet for most of the journey. My heart was as heavy and cold as stone. Everything I had ever known, my entire life, was cruelly snatched away by one betrayal. My brother Fergus did not even know of the tragedy that had hit the Cousland family. Thoughts and memories assuaged my mind all the way until Ostagar. There, I met King Cailan. He was a handsome man, kind and just. A little too caught up by tales and stories of Wardens and glory, but still a good man. I met other people as well too, and despite my inner suffering I made an effort to get to know them. I would be fighting alongside these people very soon; I wanted to know their names in case they fell, and vice versa. I did not fear death, but I hoped I survived the battle long enough to bring Howe to justice he so richly deserved.
I learned of the Grey Warden's ritual, their secrets. I performed the task entailed to me, and became a full-fledged Warden. Alas, the two men with me did not make it. Ser Jory and Daveth were good men, and I still carry around my Warden's Oath pendant in memory of their loss. On the task I had met Alistair, a former templar-in-training-turned-Warden whose wit and jokes made me feel just a little less bleak. As a new Warden, I was expected to go listen in on the meeting before the attack at Ostagar. King Cailan told us his strategy, which Loghain did not approve of. Loghain, a hero in the eyes of many Fereldens, was a seasoned warrior whose prose in battle was nearly unmatched. He convinced Cailan to attack with the King's contingent and he would have his men await a signal from atop of the Tower of Ishal. Once lit, the light would be the signal for Loghain to attack, and hopefully turn the tide in our favor. The plan was agreed upon, and the task of lighting the beacon fell to Alistair and myself. We, alongside one of the mages and a guard, rushed to the Tower. It had been overrun by Darkspawn, and we cut a bloody path all the way to the Tower's entrance. I remember the restless thrumming of my heart, beating in nervous anticipation. I had hefted the Cousland family sword high, adjusting my shield before we entered the captured tower.
We fought over several floors, killing all Darkspawn that lurked the tower. The place was a mess; dead bodies, both Fereldens and monster, lay strewn everywhere on the ground. Blood covered almost every available surface. Some of the bodies were half-eaten. We finally carved a path to the top, where we encountered our most terrifying and difficult foe yet: an Ogre. Teamwork played a major role in the takedown; once the Ogre was distracted by Alistair, the mage struck it with lightning. I ran forward and leapt atop the gigantic beast, stabbing it with my family's blade. As soon as the body fell, we lit the beacon. We thought we had just saved many lives, and possibly changed the course of the battle. What we would not know until later was we did change the battle…by playing into Loghain's hands.
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The rest, as they say, is history. Alistair and I, along with my faithful Mabari hound Raines, were saved from the Darkspawn by Flementh. We learned of Loghain's betrayal and that very few survivors were left. Among the dead were the King, and Duncan. My heart, already burdened by grief, was staggered by this new revelation. Duncan had been an extraordinary man, and had been nothing but good to me since my parent's murder. And King Cailan…the blow was just too large. Revenge in our hearts, we set off with Flementh's daughter Morrigan and started our journey.
Now, months later, our trio has morphed into a slightly larger group. We now have an assassin, Zevran, who is rather handy to have around. Unfortunately, he does not seem to be able to grasp that, while I enjoy playing with a sword, I most certainly do not like his sword. I am far more taken by another addition to our group. Leliana…the first time I laid eyes on her, I was smitten. Tall, achingly gorgeous, with short red hair and eyes the color of a calm, tranquil lake, she stole my heart without a word. Morrigan, Alistair and I had met her in a little inn in Lothering, before it was sadly overtaken by the murderous Darkspawn. We had been waylaid by a group of men loyal to Loghain, and accused the Grey Wardens of betraying the king. They attacked, and we completely decimated them. I will admit that my intent was to kill them, but Leliana stayed my hand. She told us she was a Chantry sister, seeking solace from her past and finding it in the Maker's light. She spoke of a vision that had told her to join our group and save Ferelden with us. I was a little skeptical, but one look at her earnest blue eyes and I agreed without thinking.
I could not be happier. Leli and I, along the way, fell in love. I know that this journey is extremely important and my focus is direly needed, but my heart cannot forsake my bard. We are now in a relationship, incredibly happy and sated with affection. I need her; I went through betrayal after betrayal, my parent's first and then at Ostagar. Then I was thrown into this whole archdemon mess. Sometimes…sometimes I just want to scream, toss away my sword and shield, and protest. I am nineteen, for Maker's sake! I lost everything that had meaning to me and now I have to slay the archdemon or Ferelden will fall? I feel like everything is spinning, and I cannot make my way through. I have a duty to the Grey Wardens to defeat the archdemon and save Ferelden, but what of my family? I cannot let the bastard Howe get away with this; I won't! Then Loghain…he must be stopped. It pains me to see how far he has fallen, but we cannot defeat the Darkspawn with him at the helm. He must have his control taken away. And then there is Leliana, the love I never knew I would find on this journey…I know she is very capable of protecting herself, but I cannot stop the image of her lying broken and twisted somewhere out of my mind. This is a dangerous thing we Wardens are undertaking…am I leading her to her doom?
Ah…Wynne is calling us for dinner. Better go get my share before Alistair and Raines get to it. Alistair is like my brother, but the man eats like a damn dwarf! I will write again soon, and hopefully stay alive to finish the journal. In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice.
Farewell,
Reyn Cousland
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Author's note: Well, there is the first chapter of Reyn's Journal. I know I have not yet completed Zevran's part, but Reyn would not stop bugging me until I started hers. The Warden is one of my absolute favorite video game characters; she is just so complex. She is torn; torn between duty to her family as a Cousland, the Grey Wardens and their cause, avenging those fallen at Ostagar, Ferelden, and Leliana. She has this enormous burden resting on her young shoulders, and due to her being the leader, it can feel like it is crushing her at times.
Now, she is a far different viewpoint than Zev. Zevran's story was never meant to be very serious or detailed; just humorous. Reyn however, can be summed up with one word: duty. She has her moments of wit, but for the most part you will see her grow into a magnificent leader who protects her friends; her family. She is going to be far more detailed in their exploits than Zev was. Unlike Zevran, who only told of the major events in the search for allies, and even then just touched base, Cousland will go more into depth. She will ponder her actions and the actions of everyone else, and I hope to give her character life in the best way that I can. So, I hope you enjoy the ride with her as much as you did with Zevran!