Welcome To My Lie:
He's a liar. He knows that. But that doesn't stop him from lying.
There's a reason he lies. There's a reason for his plastic smiles and all too unreal personality. He just doesn't want to admit it. He doesn't want to admit to all the lies that he tells, the false tales he spins. For him, it's better this way. Much better this way.
He's like a cake, like the food he loves to eat and make. He's made up of layers, a multitude of layers, some real, some false, some sweet, and others not. Years of pain make it easy to hide his true personality under false smiles and an otherwise opposite personality. It shouldn't be that easy.
Nothing should be that easy. Everything has a price. He knows that.
It's not something he decides as time continues to progress. Every lie he tells, he sells a piece of his soul, throwing it among the words he speaks, letting it vanish in thin air as the empty words fall on gullible ears. Pretty soon, he won't have a soul to hide anymore.
So why does he keep doing it? Why pay such a high price for some words with no meanings?
He's not really sure, but he thinks maybe, that he believes that if he tells enough of the lies, they will become true. They will start to become a reality, all these lies he tells. It's a simple concept, the belief that words in itself can change the outcome, can change the world, can change anything. Maybe if he tells a lie enough times, he himself will start to believe that false tale.
He started with his name. Originally, he was born Yuui, and his twin brother was Fai. As time progressed, tragedies came and past, the separation of the two brothers was bound to happen. In the end, Fai died, saving his brother. Although, through an evil man's careful plan, he made it appear that Yuui chose his own life over Fai's. Fai was dead because of him.
Yuui didn't allow this to happen. Fai would not die. Fai isn't dead. Fai is still alive. I am Fai. He took his brother's name so that Fai wouldn't die. Fai isn't dead if he was Fai. Fai is alive. That would not be a lie because Fai couldn't be dead because Fai was here, Fai was him, still living and breathing. Fai is alive.
Time moved quickly, throwing its hands across the worlds and its people, and soon Yuui disappeared, hiding among the past in memories of Fai. Yuui became Fai, and the lie itself became reality, became a truth. He told this lie to everyone, and soon enough, his name became Fai. Maybe if he could change his name through lies, what else could he do?
The natural mask he created had a foundation of lies, built on lies, based on lies. The over cheery personality, the distant and flippant attitude, the carefree smile hid his true nature. He would not allow this mask of lies to crack, not now, when his dream was so close to being accomplished. He wouldn't allow anyone to get close, trying to drive away those that tried.
So when did he start caring?
It was only natural at first, to be wary of those that came and offered help. Ashura-ou was no exception. However, Ashura-ou was his savior, and he willingly followed the man away from the ruins and destructions of his home world. But the man raised him like his own son, and he developed a loving trust and bond for the king. He was the only one that cared it seemed.
Soon, he developed a habit of smiling, just to see others become happy. Their happiness brought Yu-, no Fai, a little joy that he thought he could never find again. It didn't matter if he himself wasn't happy, but if he could lie in his smile, just to see others smile back, he would do so.
Eventually, smiling started being something he did naturally, even when his emotions didn't match his expression. But the curse he bears will not leave him alone, to live in peace.
Tragedy struck. And the smile that he once could maintain with practiced ease transformed to tears. The king he loved like a father was bringing chaos, destruction, and death to the land that accepted him when no others did. He promised that when it came down to this, he would kill Ashura-ou, but his weakness that he couldn't hide arose its head and the promise became just another lie.
On his journey, the one that he was destined to take with the desert princess, the clone, and the witch's pawn, he put on a silly façade, acting in a way that he thought would make sure no one could get near again. Never again. It only resulted in pain, a pain that he bore too many times to count.
He purposely irritated the ninja by calling him nicknames and being everything that the ninja hated. Fai didn't want to get close, but soon the lies he wrapped himself in started to become habit, and then it started becoming reality.
At first, the only reason why he so diligently helped Sakura-chan and Syaroan-kun was because he wanted to gain their trust. Syaroan-kun was suspicious, but once he saw the Sakura trust the wizard, he consented. The only one that didn't ever let go of the suspicions was Kurogane.
But the false trust that they had in him started becoming more. Instead of just another traveler accompanying the others, helping along the way, he started to become more. They started to see him as something more than just a stranger met on the road. All the lies were spinning themselves into reality.
He pretended that he cared. He pretended that he was happy whenever Sakura-chan received another of her memories, and he pretended that he put in his best effort in collecting the feathers as well. Fai pretended that he was worried for Syaroan and Sakura, worried for the easily peeved ninja. He pretended that the names he called Kurogane were childish pet names.
But when did he actually start to care? When did pretending become real?
He can't deny it. He's starting to care. He's starting to worry and fret, help and protect. It's a strange feeling, that he, who tries to keep himself so isolated and uncaring, is caring for others. The lie became reality, the truth became twisted, and everything changed.
He's scared about the sudden change in positions. He wasn't supposed to get close. He wasn't supposed to risk everything that he had worked for by just two unlucky, innocent kids and a ninja with the ability to perceive everything he was thinking. None of this was supposed to happen.
He hated that he accidentally got to close. He hated that he started to care. He hated himself especially for allowing them to care for him. When he was so close to death, all he wanted now was to join his brother in the afterlife, yet the ones that he formed invisible bonds with held him in the world of the living, transforming him to a vampire just to see him live.
And when he purposely tried to push them away, the bonds they forged together would not come undone. He felt the guilt of pushing them away, the tears and pain they hid, worrying constantly over him, hoping to see him revert to the person they once knew. Fai didn't belong to a world where people cared for him.
He wanted to die. He wanted to die, but they wouldn't let him. He knew that he crossed the line there. Fai was too far in now.
Instead, he put forth an effort to take care of Sakura-chan, the only one who knew the entire truth about his existence, the only one that he could afford to care for now. She was the only one he could really relate to, one with immense magic power, but bearing the guilt for something uncontrollable. Touched by her kindness and innocence, Fai naturally was drawn to "his princess", wishing he could go back to those times. He needed the love that only she could provide.
Intentionally, he tried severing the ties with Kurogane, but it was impossible, because now, Kurogane was his life and food source. Kurogane, the man he gave crazy nicknames in order to make him stay away was the first to see through his false attitudes and make-believe reasons. The man became too close, and he can't forgive himself for allowing it to happen. Forgiving him would only mean getting close again.
Syaroan, the one that he originally traveled with disappeared, and in his place was the original, one with the same appearance and heart, yet bearing a guilt that shouldn't exist for one so young. He didn't want to get close, but this Syaroan saw everything from the eyes of his clone. He knew that the mage was to be trusted, although the mage did not want to be.
Purposely, he planned to go alone to Ceres Country, in hope that he could get away and die. But the truth was that he had woven himself too deep into the foundations of the small family they had created on the journey, and they tagged along.
Finally, when all the lies were played back to him in shards of memories that he begged to have forgotten, he broke. His strength and magic was greatly weakened from the incident with the clone, and once the man he looked up to was killed by the man who saved his life, he knew what he had to do.
He knew he was going to die. Secretly, he wished someone to save him, but he accepted his death. He accepted his eternal damnation, trapped in a cold world, dying from thirst and drained of magic.
But Kurogane saved him, risking his own arm. He should have known. The dark-haired man who already risked everything for the blonde mage was saving him again. This shouldn't have happened. He should have died with his brother, not live with four others that cared for him.
He hated himself for letting them care. He didn't want to hurt them anymore, but what could he do now? They cared for him, so he would live for them. Even if he were hurting, he would live for them.
Finally, once the battle was won, he could have no more lies, no more falsehoods. He could become real. He could become Yuui again. He wouldn't have to always be smiling, and he wouldn't have to be sad. He accepted this fate happily.
They say that lies won't get you anywhere. However, if you believe hard enough, lies can become true. If you say them enough, lies become reality.
Fai's world is nothing but a lie that has become real. Fai's smile is not a lie anymore, but he remembers all the tales he spun that became real stories, the fantasy that existed in reality.
Lies are the foundation of any fantasy, the destruction of reality, and the power to change the world. Fai D. Flowright, magician, knows the immense power of lies, how they are able to create an entire new world simply by bending the truth, twisting words, and creating false meanings.
Fai has always been a liar. He knows that, but the lies continue. The false smiles and the over cheery personality were all lies. Now, he has a reason to smile again, a reason to care. Now, he doesn't have to be afraid.
Lies built his world, built who he is. Although he sold his heart, the friends he gained from the journey based on a lie found it again. Fai's life then, and Fai's life now are totally different now, based on all the lies he told.
Fai's life is a lie that became real. Simple as that.
Welcome to his lie.
Hello! This is my first Tsubasa Chronicles fanfiction, and I don't think it's that good. Oh well. I fell in love with this manga when I first read it, and soon, I fell in love with the anime. My favorite character is obviously Fai, so I decided to write a story about him. If you have any comments, feel free to review. I don't own Tsubasa Chronicles. All rights and rewards go to CLAMP.