Title: What If?
Author: Daisy
Email: e.large@talk21.com
Category: POV monologue
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Dont think so, just incase Season 3.
Disclaimer: All hail the mighty Joss Whedon and the Gods at
Mutant Enemy. They own EVERYTHING. Cant stress enough that
these guys and gals aren't mine.
Feedback: Yes please
Distribution: Want, take, have but be a peach and let me
know
Note: This is one of my monologue pieces, they don't really
fit anywhere, I just like writing them! In this one Connor
is still around, and Groo (boo hiss) never turned up. Enjoy!
Of course I wonder what life would have been like if my Dad hadn't gone and lost all our money and I hadn't run away to LA. It's only human to what if. Maybe I would have gone away to college, studied art history like I had wanted to. Met a nice, handsome football player and lived the American dream. White picket fence and a herd of children. Happily ever after and all that jazz. Or maybe I would have stayed on in Sunnydale and gone to school there. Would I have remained the same dizzy bitch I was in High School? Walking around campus like I owned the place? Or maybe I would have become a real member of the Scoobies, had coffee with Willow, researched with Giles, picked out wedding dresses with Anya. Brought Buffy back from the dead?
Maybe not.
Maybe it would have been me picking out wedding dresses instead of Anya. OK no, that would never ever have happened. But all that would mean that I wouldn't have had the people I now have in my life. If I hadn't escaped to LA I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't have Wesley tutting at me like an old woman every time I bought a pair of shoes I can't actually afford. I would never have met Gunn, would never have experienced the delight of one of his nausea inducing piggy back races. There would be no Fred in my life. Sweet little Fred who figures everything out before the rest of us even when its staring us in the face. Gunn's right, everyone should have a Fred in their life. I wouldn't have this darling little boy in my arms, beautiful Connor who has brought so much light in to our other wise shadowy lives. And Angel. The one that brought us all together.
There would have been no visions, a lot less pain and I probably, no definitely, would be unbelievably famous if I had never seen Angel that night at the party. But then there would have been no Friday night film fests, no late night research parties, no helping the helpless. No fighting the good fight. So if I had made a different choice three years ago I wouldn't be sitting here listening to my ensouled vampire best friend stumble his way through telling me he's in love with me. He's been trying to get to a point for at least five minutes now, wanna hear what he's saying? OK....
".....not that I'm saying you're not intelligent, you're extremely intelligent, but what I was saying was........OK I've forgotten what I was trying to say.....Right.....what I want to tell you is that we've grown very close over the last few years.....all of us....especially you and I. And maybe I've stopped thinking of you as a friend. Well of course you are still my friend, you're my best friend, but I think that maybe its more than that now.....more than just friends...."
Isn't he just darling? This man terrified most of Europe for a zillion years and he's having trouble telling me he loves me. He's scared I'll laugh in his face. You see I know this man. He scared he's not enough for me. What a dork. Any minute now I'm going to tell him to shut the hell up and just kiss me. I just like watching his squirm a bit. So did I make the right choices in my life.
Duh! Of course I did.
The End
Of course I wonder what life would have been like if my Dad hadn't gone and lost all our money and I hadn't run away to LA. It's only human to what if. Maybe I would have gone away to college, studied art history like I had wanted to. Met a nice, handsome football player and lived the American dream. White picket fence and a herd of children. Happily ever after and all that jazz. Or maybe I would have stayed on in Sunnydale and gone to school there. Would I have remained the same dizzy bitch I was in High School? Walking around campus like I owned the place? Or maybe I would have become a real member of the Scoobies, had coffee with Willow, researched with Giles, picked out wedding dresses with Anya. Brought Buffy back from the dead?
Maybe not.
Maybe it would have been me picking out wedding dresses instead of Anya. OK no, that would never ever have happened. But all that would mean that I wouldn't have had the people I now have in my life. If I hadn't escaped to LA I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't have Wesley tutting at me like an old woman every time I bought a pair of shoes I can't actually afford. I would never have met Gunn, would never have experienced the delight of one of his nausea inducing piggy back races. There would be no Fred in my life. Sweet little Fred who figures everything out before the rest of us even when its staring us in the face. Gunn's right, everyone should have a Fred in their life. I wouldn't have this darling little boy in my arms, beautiful Connor who has brought so much light in to our other wise shadowy lives. And Angel. The one that brought us all together.
There would have been no visions, a lot less pain and I probably, no definitely, would be unbelievably famous if I had never seen Angel that night at the party. But then there would have been no Friday night film fests, no late night research parties, no helping the helpless. No fighting the good fight. So if I had made a different choice three years ago I wouldn't be sitting here listening to my ensouled vampire best friend stumble his way through telling me he's in love with me. He's been trying to get to a point for at least five minutes now, wanna hear what he's saying? OK....
".....not that I'm saying you're not intelligent, you're extremely intelligent, but what I was saying was........OK I've forgotten what I was trying to say.....Right.....what I want to tell you is that we've grown very close over the last few years.....all of us....especially you and I. And maybe I've stopped thinking of you as a friend. Well of course you are still my friend, you're my best friend, but I think that maybe its more than that now.....more than just friends...."
Isn't he just darling? This man terrified most of Europe for a zillion years and he's having trouble telling me he loves me. He's scared I'll laugh in his face. You see I know this man. He scared he's not enough for me. What a dork. Any minute now I'm going to tell him to shut the hell up and just kiss me. I just like watching his squirm a bit. So did I make the right choices in my life.
Duh! Of course I did.
The End