She was empty. Yet she was also full of a feeling she hated. He was gone. She felt engulfed by the sudden realisation she would never see him again. Her phone dropped out of her hands and her knees buckled. She couldn't breathe. Everything was wrong, this wasn't supposed to happen yet. She felt even more alone than normal. She couldn't do this, not by herself. Just as she felt her body crumbling to the floor, someone was there. Holding her up. Pulling her close and sharing her burden.

Zosia didn't care who it was, she was just grateful to not be alone. She couldn't see, and as she tried to regulate her breathing she inhaled a familiar scent. A scent she had been around all day. A scent she associated with theatre. With an emotionless cold woman. Yet here was that so called emotionless woman holding her up, squeezing her tight, and reminding her she wasn't alone. There were so many thoughts running through Zosia's head, and although she knew it wasn't right, she felt her arms tightening around Jac. The woman who had been out to get her all day.

Arthur was gone. Zosia hadn't seen him all day. He'd been in the hospital and she hadn't made the effort to spend time with her friend. Instead she'd prioritised her career again. Zosia buried her head in Jac's hair, trying her hardest to stop the recurring thoughts of guilt and pain that were swallowing her up.

'Come on.' Jac's authoritative tone broke through the deadly silence in Zosia's head. Jac lifted Zosia to her feet, wrapped her arm around her waist and led her to her office. Once inside, she slowly sat Zosia down on the sofa, and turned to shut the door. When she looked back, Zosia had her head in her hands, tears streaming down her face. Jac sat next to her and placed her hand on Zosia's knee.

No matter how hard Zosia shut her eyes, she couldn't stop seeing Arthur's face, smiling and laughing. She would never see that again. Suddenly her bun felt too tight, like it was tearing her scalp. She pulled it out as quickly as she could and felt her hair fall to shield her face. Somehow she felt less exposed like this, hiding from Jac. The vibration of a phone startled her. Jac answered, and Zosia only caught parts of the short conversation.

'What?'

'No, that can't be right.'

'Shit.' This last one made Zosia look up. Jac looked defeated. She was avoiding eye contact, so Zosia knew it was bad. For the first time, Zosia initiated contact. She reached out and placed her hand on Jac's shoulder. They stayed that way for a while, then Jac turned to face Zosia. Unshed tears were pooled in her eyes, and she looked broken.

'It was the stent.' Zosia felt like she'd been punched. She felt sick. Like all the air had been sucked from her lungs. 'Zosia, I'm so sorry.'

Zosia stood, and started pacing, hands running through her hair. She needed to do something, just anything to occupy her hands. Looking around, she spotted the artificial model of the device that had killed one of her best friends. She grabbed it and lobbed it at the wall. It didn't break. How was it that throwing it at a wall wouldn't smash it, but making it do its job would lead to it breaking? There was no sense to it. No logic. Zosia needed logic. She needed to be able to find the reason, but there was none. Turning back to the sofa, she saw Jac doing exactly what Zosia had been doing earlier. Head in hands, hair shielding her face.

'Who told you?' Zosia spoke for the first time, in an accusatory tone.

'Sacha. He tried to operate, but it was everywhere.' Jac raised her head, speaking in a monotone voice.

Zosia wanted to leave, she wanted to go home. Back to the flat. His flat. She couldn't. It would be too difficult. But what could she do? Stay at the hospital?

'I-'

'You need somewhere to stay.' Jac interrupted her. Zosia nodded, impressed that Jac somehow read her mind. Jac stood. Grabbed her bag, keys and coat and went to exit, leaving Zosia stood in the middle of the room looking lost. 'Come on then.'

'Jac.' Zosia said, making Jac turn back. 'Thank you.' Barely audible, but still heartfelt.

Head down, Zosia followed all the way to Jac's car and got in. Today had quite possibly been the worst day in existence. Zosia still felt empty, but there was something else too. Looking to her right, seeing Jac driving them home, she felt a small flutter in her stomach, and wondered what all of this meant. One thing she knew for sure was that Jac was not emotionless and cold. That was purely a front. A front that no one ever saw disappear, yet tonight, Zosia had. It was strange, but Zosia only thought about it for a moment, before they drove past the peace garden and she was engulfed with memories of Arthur again. He was the kindest, nerdiest, loveliest person she had ever met, almost an antithesis of Jac. There she was again. Zosia shook her head, confused as to why during a time when she was so grief-stricken, was Jac Naylor constantly popping into her head.

'I just don't know.' She whispered, making Jac look at her.

'Me neither.' Jac admitted, sighing with sadness.

They were both confused, full of grief for different reasons, yet somehow they were trying to deal with it together. It was completely illogical, yet it made perfect sense to the two doctors, they were walking each other home.