On his road to redemption, Sasuke makes the greatest sacrifice; his first and last love. Sasuhina (one-sided), Naruhina [T for cursing] Oneshot
Warning: To understand what's happening in the fic, you must have watched at least the Hinata-centric episodes, The Last movie, and Boruto the movie. If you didn't I think it'll be okay, but major spoilers, so up to you.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
He didn't mean for it to get this far…but it wasn't exactly something he could control.
It started out as a simple interest of trying to understand. Sasuke knew not all of the female population didn't look at him the way most of them did. There were thankfully a select few who weren't obsessed with him. What he couldn't understand was how any girl could possibly like someone like Naruto. Of course now that they were friends he could see why, but back then, it made absolutely no sense.
In a way it angered him…bothered him to the point where he would catch himself observing her to try and understand why someone from a high-class clan would look at that idiot with such eyes. It made him hate Naruto more and he decided it was because she was just as weird. Although that thought didn't make much sense either cause he knew she wasn't…
When Naruto boasted about the ointment Hinata had given to him, Sasuke stole it and kept the case with him to this day. It was at that point he had to admit to himself that he had a crush on her. It wasn't a big deal of course since it made sense. She was quiet, soft-spoken, kind, nurturing, came from a strong blood line and from her loud team mates constant boasting, he found out she was a great cook. She was a perfect match for him in every way for his goal of continuing his bloodline but why…just why…of all the people in the world did she like Naruto?!
Working as a team he understood to some point even then but after seeing his brother again, he'd decided what he needed was power. Part of his decision to go was to get away from these thoughts. It would only distract him from his priorities of avenging his clan. Getting a family would come afterwards. His only hope was that the idiot would never find out and she would never confess.
He didn't want to think about her…he really didn't…but in times where he thought he was going insane because of Orochimaru's experimentations, it helped to think about her and wonder how things were…
After Sasuke defeated his brother and found out the truth…he decided he must hate her.
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It was only after all the conflicts and wars that he saw her again and he was overcome with unexplainable feelings. Feelings he thought he pushed away, feelings he thought were gone…
With a clear mind he saw the small timid girl had grown into a woman and seeing her appearance, the first person that came to mind was his mother. Her long indigo locks cascading down her back dancing with the breeze. Her attire was quite simple. She wore a grey sweater over a peach shirt and long pale skirt, but even in wearing such modest clothes her beauty shined in his eyes. Under the shine of the moon and the stars, she was illuminated and without even seeing her face, he recognized her.
It was a chance meeting. He had avoided going out because of the wary eyes of the people of Konoha and he needed fresh air after being cooped up for so long. That night he had worn a black sweater on top of a grey shirt and black pants. Taking a walk through the familiar yet foreign streets he met the one person he wanted to avoid meeting. For the first time in a long while, he was afraid…afraid of her rejection…afraid of her fear…afraid of her hatred…
Thinking of running away Sasuke had stepped back, but in that moment their eyes met and time stood still. He was several feet away from her but he could see her so clearly. Her unique eyes were snow white with a hint of lavender, her porcelain skin was tinted with pink from the night breeze and her features had matured yet still retained pure innocence. He had pictured her to grow into a beautiful woman but to actually see her become so…it made his heart stop.
They stared at each other for a moment and when he woke up from his trance he turned to leave but he was stopped again by her soft-spoken voice.
"A..ano…Uchiha-san…"
His heart wrenches again at the sound of her voice and he is surprised for a moment thinking maybe he heard wrong…but that is an impossibility. A million thoughts go through his head in that second and knowing he cannot deny her, he turns to her keeping a stoic face.
She steps closer and it takes all of his willpower not to step away from under the streetlight exposing him to the world.
"I…I'm sure you don't remember me but…"
"Hyuga Hinata."
Her lowered head looks up at him in surprise in that moment and seeing her expression almost makes him smile but he holds himself back. She looks like a deer caught by headlights and it's just…adorable…
It takes her a moment to get a bit of her composure back and with it she says, "…ano…thank you…"
For a moment he is puzzled and wonders if it's because he remembered her. As if she saw the thought pass by she becomes flustered.
"Not that you remembered me of course! Not that I'm not thankful about that too! Not to say you're rude or anything..but..but…I'm sorry…"
"Pfft.."
He lets out a small laugh and it seems to calm her. She looks at him properly with a soft smile and he is mesmerized by that alone.
"Thank you."
"…"
"Thank you for coming back."
It's two simple words…two words that hold so much meaning…so much feeling…two words he never thought he'd hear from anyone…especially her…
It almost makes him think that maybe she too feels what he feels but that quickly dies with her next words…
"Naruto-kun was so happy…"
He knows she doesn't mean to hurt him…how could she when she didn't know…when nobody knew…when even he didn't know…but he's never been so hurt as now. Overcome by rage in the next second he says without thinking, "If you're brave enough to tell me such a petty thing why haven't you confessed to that idiot."
In that moment he himself has confessed to her that he knew of her love for Naruto, of her shyness, of her weakness, but it goes unnoticed by both as her face turns bright red at the accusation. He looks and recognizes that it's not just embarrassment but that she has confessed and seeing as to how she doesn't immediately look crestfallen…his heart drops.
"…"
"..."
She calms down again and her face is now pink but she has on a sad smile as she says, "I did, but he must have thought of it as a something between friends."
It shouldn't, but it relieves him…makes him happy and for the first time he's glad his best friend is an idiot.
"I've been thinking of thanking you. We were all worried after finding out about everything that happened and a lot of people had given up hope…but I knew Naruto-kun could do it."
In that moment he almost told her how he almost killed the man she loved several times and how even now, he wanted to kill him.
"But I'm really more thankful to you."
"!"
"Thank you for being strong in all those hard times…I couldn't possibly know or understand the hardships you faced…even just hearing about it what little I heard, I was ashamed of how difficult I felt my life was…"
"…"
"Thinking about how conflicted and difficult it must have been to forgive us…to forgive yourself…"
"…"
"It's a bit silly for me to say this when I don't even know you that well but I was very happy to hear you were coming back…so thank you."
It was the warmest smile he had ever seen. He felt like an idiot for getting angry and he took that moment to just stare at her smile, remember it and lock it away with all his other precious memories.
He felt himself tearing up and as best he could, he said."…why?"
"…I just felt like you needed it…I've regretted not saying things, not doing things in the past because I was afraid. If I had extended out a hand, had been more confident…then maybe I could have made things better. So I wanted you to know."
He kept silent, taking in her words and keeping his eyes downcast. She gave him that moment of peace and he was very grateful for it. After a moment of silence he broke it again.
"Why aren't you scared of me? Why don't you hate me? I killed a lot of people…I almost killed him…"
He looked at her expecting her to flinch but it only made her look determined.
"Partly because he trusts you. But also because I understand."
"…You're an idiot…"
It made her giggle.
Sasuke turned away from her to hide the stray tear and he ran back home that night letting some of the burdens upon him fall down with the tears.
It was also that night that he realized he loved her.
It was quite ridiculous really. He only knew about her by watching her and having one conversation…but that was enough…he had tried denying it once but now…he couldn't.
She had grown so beautifully. No longer did she stutter or lack in confidence. She had become a strong shinobi and if possible an even kinder person than before.
What took him and many others years to realize, it took but a moment for Hinata to see Naruto's qualities. Her ability to see and understand someone such as Naruto…someone such as himself…not to say that she was not attractive but the beauty which she had within was what made her truly beautiful. And it was because of that…that he did not belong with her…He now understood Naruto to be a great man and seeing how much she loved him, the only way for her to be truly be happy was for Naruto to be with her. He couldn't do that for her…
He would never admit it to his friend but the only one he knew who deserved such a pure love was Naruto. As much of a hard life he had lived, Naruto had also gone through the same…the difference was in his optimism and the choices he made. His greatest friend and greatest rival. Maybe it was also because of that, that he also felt so jealous. He wanted to follow that dark voice within him…steal her away…
…
….
He had come back for redemption and here he was thinking of stealing what he also knew Naruto desired the most and was also too ignorant to see. It made him think of Sakura and how much she claimed to love him…he didn't love her in the same way but he was willing to try, to be there for her, to marry her for all the sacrifices she made for him.
He'd decided to run away again. Told the others he was going because he wanted to see the world in a new perspective. It wasn't a complete lie as he had been planning to leave but not so soon and not for so long. At that time he had also set an ultimatum for himself. If Naruto didn't realize or rejected Hinata in realization, if his love for Hinata did not die over this journey, he would pursue his love. A part of him understood that Hinata and Sakura's love would not die, so he left it up to Naruto and himself. In the case that things worked out between Naruto and Hinata, even if he still loved her…he would take this love to the grave. He would give them time and hope that things would go well, hope he made the right decision for the first time…
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In his long journey his love had not died. If anything it may have grown. Looking at the world with a new mind he thought to himself that next time he would like for her to be with him. What he thought she would be awed by he kept in mind.
In journeying back to Konoha, he had found an unconscious and beaten Hiashi Hyuga before him and he thought it was a sign. Here he was going back to Konoha still in love with Hinata and an opportunity, a chance to connect himself with Hinata had fallen at his feet…quite literally.
He quickly traveled back to Konoha saved the nation from what was apparently a piece of the moon and patiently waited for Hinata to come. Fall into his arms in tears of gratefulness…or so he thought…
He wanted her to come to him first as he felt that to be more appropriate, but in his anticipation in wanting to meet her he took off to where the team would most likely be spotted in coming back from their journey to the moon. Sensing their chakra he looked up to see a sight he had hoped to never see…
Naruto and Hinata sharing a kiss in the light of the moon.
The embarrassment, the betrayal, the pain…it made him numb…He stayed rooted to that same spot for what seemed like centuries…
The one to break that silence was the one person he really did not want to face…in his current state, he was afraid he might lose control of himself.
"Oooyyy~~~ Sasuke~~~~!"
He turned to look and he saw…a truly happy Naruto. Of course he had seen the idiot smiling all the time but this…this happiness that was radiating off of his friend, it was nothing he'd ever seen before. What Naruto had been looking for his whole life…he had found it. It was of course not because he had come back from his long journey…it was because of her.
If it had been him she was with…would he also have made such a face?
"Oy teme! I heard you came back! Why the hell are you here though?!"
"…"
"Silent treatment already? Heh, well if you didn't do that it wouldn't be you would it. Welcome back man~~!"
"…"
Naruto suddenly looked at him seriously and giving him a sincere smile said, "Kakashi-sensei told us you saved Hinata's father and Konoha. Thanks a lot."
He continued to talk but hearing up to that point, Sasuke started to drown him out. He was consumed by rage.
What he had wanted to hear from Hinata he was hearing from Naruto. What he had wanted to do with Hinata, he witnessed Naruto and Hinata do. The love he had wanted to share with Hinata, Naruto was the one she shared it with.
"Hinata is with her father right now and she wanted me to relay her thanks to you. She wanted to thank you in person but of course her father comes first. Speaking of Hinata I wanted you to be the first one to know. You don't know how happy I am you're here right now cause I don't think I could've held it in much longer. Hinata is officially my girlfri-"
Before he could finish his sentence a kunai was thrown at his head and Naruto easily avoided it.
"What the hell teme! No greeting and the first thing you do is try to kill me! I'm trying to tell you something very important! I know you love fighting but couldn't it wait a few seconds!"
He was yelling but Naruto was obviously taking it as a joke. That was until he saw Sasuke's eyes. His sharingan was activated.
"You…you do not deserve her."
"…"
"If you were going to take this long to realize, then you should have stayed blind to it."
"…"
"An idiot like you wouldn't have been able to figure it out all on your own. You probably had to have someone shove it at you until you realized. And you, so thirsty for love, so ridden by guilt, that's the only reason why you think you love her."
"…"
That seemed to anger Naruto and they battled until they were knocked out by Sakura. Apparently she and Hinata were going to greet Sasuke from his journey back when they came upon the commotion and Sakura had intervened. When they had woken up they saw the familiar white ceiling of the hospital and listened to Sakura's unending yelling until Hinata came to bring her out of the room.
She sent them both an apologetic look and it was but a moment, but he saw Naruto and Hinata exchange a look of a small smile and blush.
They were the only two in that room and knowing that Naruto spoke up first.
"I've always loved her."
Sasuke was taken aback at his friend's confession.
"When we were young, I thought she was weird at first for fainting whenever I got too close, but even then I knew that it was because she admired me…liked me…but I was in denial. All my life I'd been hated, scorned, turned away from and to think someone might like someone like me…I couldn't believe."
"…"
"Confessing to Sakura and getting rejected constantly…that was what I thought I deserved…what felt right. If Sakura had ever accepted and confessed to me, I probably would have rejected her and run away."
"…"
"It was also because I was jealous of all the attention you got that I wanted her to look at me, but I never thought of Sakura like that. Liking was really like how I liked all my other friends. It was just fun to get on her nerves sometimes."
"…"
"Being friends with Hinata though…I thought, this is what it's like to be loved and I was really happy. I felt things I had never felt before and somehow I knew it was what she felt for me, but I knew she would be scorned and hated if I were to accept her. So I strived to become stronger, become the Hokage, someone acknowledged by everyone so that maybe when that happened, we could be together."
"…"
"I was so thankful her heart never changed over the years and she actually confessed to me for the first time when she saved my life by giving up hers…but it was also then when I lost control…when I thought Pein had killed her something within me broke and I went berserk, I almost gave into the darkness thinking I would never see her again. After I calmed down and when I felt her chakra, knowing she was alive was the greatest feeling but it was also then that I realized I almost killed her along with all my other friends. I knew I couldn't be with her… not until I got control of Kurama's powers, so I trained even more."
"…"
"I knew it hurt her but I feigned ignorance and everyone else seemed to accept that…expect it from me even…because I was afraid."
"…"
"When I did get in control, the war started and when I thought to confess to her after we won, after I had proven myself to the world…Neji died…and I just couldn't do it…"
"…"
"It took a lot of time for the guilt to die down, but when it did, I felt lost and looking at her so mature and strong…I thought I had lost my chance to be with her, that she had moved on but on our mission to the moon, we fell into a genjutsu where I saw her memories with mine and I saw that she still loved me…had loved me…for so long and so I confessed."
"…"
"Funny thing was, I got rejected and I concluded that the genjutsu was simply showing me what I wanted to see…"
"…"
"But after listening to Sakura, after really thinking about it and gaining confidence again, choosing to believe what my heart had been trying to tell me, I confessed again and she wholeheartedly accepted."
"…"
"I was a fool, a coward…and you're right…I don't deserve her…but she loves me…Hah…she loves me…"
Sasuke hadn't looked at Naruto through the whole conversation but he heard the tears within his voice and he knew, since the beginning of the conversation, that he had utterly lost in every way. In Naruto's fits of quiet laughter and tears, Sasuke continued to listen. His friend wasn't an idiot after all…
After calming down Naruto continued on.
"For all the years I made her wait, for all the love she's had for me, I'm gonna make it up to her and give her the world."
"…"
"I'm also sorry Sasuke…As my best friend, there are a lot of things I'd be willing to give up for you but I will never give Hinata to you."
Sasuke had made many discoveries that day. It was a lot to take in but he knew he had to. Not only had his friend also been in love with Hinata, but he had also been aware of his feelings for her. Naruto and Hinata were now together and now it was time for him to honor his promise…
He did not sleep that night.
Naruto was set to leave the next morning and as he was about to leave Sasuke spoke to him for the first time.
"Don't fuck it up dobe."
Knowing all the underlying meanings of 'I'll kill you if you fuck this up' and etc., Naruto simply laughed. Turning around and giving him his signature smile he replied, "Of course not teme! Ore wa Naruto dattebayo!"
After his recovery, Sasuke set to leave Konoha again that night and as he took his first step past the border, he heard her voice again.
"Uchiha-san!"
Turning to the direction of her voice he saw her running toward him and so he waited. When she was but a few feet away catching her breath he said, "Call me by my name."
"Hai?" She looked up in surprise to meet his gaze and he spoke again.
"Sasuke."
"Ah, hai! Ano…Sasuke-san."
She had done what he asked but seeing his dissatisfaction, she tried again.
"Sasuke-kun?"
He smiled a little hearing his name in her voice. He had on the same outfit he had on when he came back to Konoha so his smile was hidden by his cloak, but she noticed the shine in his eyes and seeing it she smiled back. It was one of the topics he had planned on confronting her about when he came back, and even under the different circumstances, it was…nice.
"It's pretty ridiculous to be calling your boyfriend's friend so formally."
Her already flushed face from having run here and being confronted by Sasuke had turned an even brighter red. Hearing 'boyfriend', Hinata had a quick flashback of her time with Naruto and she suddenly felt rather embarrassed. At his remark she went back to her old habit of poking her fingers together and it made him chuckle.
"Some things never change."
Catching herself in the act, she quickly hid her hands behind her back and at this point her face reminded him of a tomato. She didn't know it but she was really making it hard for him to erase her from his heart. Ignoring the thought he went on teasing her.
"You look like your about to faint."
She started waving her hands and shaking her head in denial as his accusation.
"I..I'm fine! Really! I'm just a little flustered! I just need to calm down a bit!"
His smirk got wider and he continued to poke fun at her.
"If you say so, but how'd you know I was gonna be here? You're not stalking me too are you?"
"Oh! No, I…I was…!"
He was smiling inside but his steady, deep voice did not help in any way to alert her that he was only teasing. Seeing how she might really faint at that point, he took a moment to look at her before he called her name.
"Hinata."
As if telling her it was okay, his soft-spoken voice calmed her down. Getting back her composure her red face slowly turned to a light blushed pink and she spoke up.
"Naruto-kun told me you'd be leaving again tonight."
He thought to himself, 'So he wants me to say goodbye…what a bastard…'
Remembering why she had come here in the first place, she took a deep bow before him.
"Thank you. Thank you for saving my father. Thank you for saving Konoha."
His next words and actions were far from what she had expected.
Sasuke stepped closer to her and lifted her chin up to face him.
"What you have done for me…it cannot measure to what little I have done for you."
She thought maybe the words she had shared with him in their first and last conversation had somehow helped him in some way and it made her happy…but somehow, although she could see the hidden thank you within his words, there was something else he seemed to be saying with his eyes. He gave her a longing stare with so much emotions and as she was trying to make sense of it, he let go of her.
It was a simple gesture of taking his hand away and stepping back, but in that motion, it was his first step to really letting her go.
Somehow, she understood it was important to him for him to have this distance and she waited a few minutes before asking, "Do you have to go again so soon? You just came back. Sakura-san and Naruto-kun missed you a lot."
"…What about you?"
"Hai?"
"Did you miss me?"
There it was again…that look in his eyes. As she was about to reply, he cut her off.
"It's because of them that I have to leave." It's because of you…
It didn't make sense but she didn't question him.
"Tell Sakura I'm sorry…and Hinata…"
"Hai?"
"…I hope you're happy."
"…"
"Sayonara."
Before she could say her goodbye, he had gone. He felt that he couldn't bear hearing her say goodbye to him. Since it was the end, he wanted the moment to linger if just a second more.
Sending a silent farewell in his direction Hinata stood in the same spot for a few moments pondering what he had meant. She still couldn't understand so she turned away but not without looking back to where he had last been wondering how he knew of her old habits.
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After a year or so had passed, Naruto proposed to her, confessing that he too had loved her all those years and they cried together that day on the Hokage Summit sharing a kiss under the light of the moon like their first. Everyone had come to their wedding, well everyone except the one person she had thought for sure would come.
Sasuke had yet to come and the ceremony was coming to an end.
She was worried that maybe it was because of something she said before he left. If she was the cause to Naruto not being able to see Sasuke on such an important day…
Noticing his wife's distress he gently held her shoulders and turned her to face him.
"What's wrong Hinata?"
"I'm sorry Naruto-kun…Sasuke…"
Knowing why Sasuke wasn't here he simply smiled at how Hinata was worried for him in such a situation. Lifting her lowered face Naruto showed her his brightest smile.
"He's where he needs to be right now. Today's a day for us."
"Demo…"
"I only need you. Even if no one else came to this ceremony I would still be the happiest man alive because I have you."
"Naruto-kun…"
They were about to share a kiss when the moment was ruined by their friends antics about getting a room or giving a rest to romance for a second and Naruto thought to himself, I can't wait for this wedding to end…
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Years passed and everyone settled down. Sasuke finally married Sakura, and even had a child together. Unknown to anyone else, after Sarada's birth no other form of physical contact was shared and they remained in a platonic relationship as friends. Sakura had hoped for more but she knew beforehand this is what it would take to be in relationship with him, and she must be satisfied with that. He had fulfilled his promise and goal.
At this point his love for Hinata had not diminished so instead he turned that love to keep the village safe, to be a better friend to Naruto, and aid her children if they needed his guidance.
After he had come back from a mission, an opportunity presented itself when Boruto had approached him to become his student. He was surprised and for a second thought to reject him as he expected Naruto would be the one to teach his child, but seeing the shine in the child's eyes and out of curiosity he allowed it under the condition of learning to do his father's signature move, Rasengan.
After Boruto displayed his 'capabilities' they met up to train. He knew Boruto was lying when he showed him a perfected Rasengan and he was greatly disappointed but he knew he had to teach this boy in order for him to correctly understand.
Boruto would always bring two bentos that Hinata had prepared and Sasuke would gladly take it. Each time he would take a moment to look at the care she put into it; it wasn't love but to know that she cared and put in time to make dishes he liked, for him it was enough.
As they trained and talked, he got an inkling of what was going on with the boy and what he wanted. Boruto obviously wanted his father's attention and love. He would probably say it was for his mother and sister, and that was partly true, but the boy thirsted for his father's approval and time. It worried him then that maybe Hinata was also in pain because of Naruto…because if she was, he didn't know what it'd drive him to do.
One day while Boruto was complaining about his father he asked Sasuke something that caught him off guard.
"How come mom didn't marry you?"
"!"
"I think you would have been a much better, cooler dad than my dad!"
He knew he was just saying this because he didn't know Naruto like he did, but at that moment thoughts of how life could have been if he were married to Hinata passed by. They were thoughts he had before his resolve to stop and not wanting to revert back he abruptly ended that day's training. Sasuke could only control so much, if Naruto's own child asked him questions like that he might say or do something he'd regret.
Thankfully, the Chunin exams soon came and after the battle with the Otsutsuki everything had settled. Boruto witnessed the power his father held, the responsibilities he had and also learned of the responsibilities he had as the son of his family.
It still hurt, but seeing her smile made everything worth it. He knew he deserved the pain and suffering he went through to redeem himself, and so being able to be near Hinata, give her aid in times of need, he considered that to be a blessing resulting from his redemption.
Maybe in another life he could give his love and maybe it would be reciprocated, but in this one, what he had was more than enough.
AN: Thank you for reading^^
Wanted to write something completely based on the canon to show the possibility of Sasuhina and making better sense of Naruhina's love story. Depending on the response for this fic and my brain function I might write another oneshot going more into detail of Naruto's point of view and his love for Hinata.