A/N: Hey guys…guess who's now a hardcore ELITZ shipper? I've always been passionately in love with both Munro Chambers and James Edward Campbell…so I figure why not right some fluffy/smutty Elitz? I'm not gonna continue I'm Many Things and HEAR ME OUT: I don't want Fitz and Eli to have a violent relationship cause if Fitz really has changed it won't be like that. So I'm hoping this story will suffice instead!

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Fitz's POV:

I honestly don't know what I can say. "I'm sorry" obviously isn't going to cut it.

How can I convince Eli that I was never going to actually hurt him? Still, I pulled a knife on him…and that was so, SO wrong. I regret it, I really do, and I wish there was some way Eli could know that and forgive me.

I need this to feel right, to feel truly forgiven. I know that only God has the power to actually cleanse us of our sins, but Father Greg told me that it's still important to make sure the people I have wronged forgive me too, if I'm truly remorseful that is, which I am.

But no amount of remorse will make Eli forgive me, and I don't even know if I deserve his forgiveness.

All those terrible things I did…what was I THINKING?

I wasn't. I was lost, messed up. I hadn't accepted Jesus into my heart yet, I didn't have the guidance that I do now. But that doesn't excuse anything.

I'm lucky enough to have Clare's forgiveness. But then again, she knows what it's like to find salvation in the Lord. She knows all about sin and forgiveness and how the will and spirit of God can truly change people.

So she can see that I mean what I say, that I'm truly sorry, because she had accepted the Lord long before I did.

But Eli can't; he's an atheist.

It makes me sad, I feel like he'd be so much happier if he knew Jesus. Even if he still didn't forgive me, at least he'd finally have God in his life.

I can't imagine what it must be like…which is ridiculously ironic because I was an atheist too up until Father Greg talked to me in Juvie. But I try not to think about those bad times…which is maybe why I can't even imagine my old mindset. But then again that's probably a good thing; I don't want to go down that road again, EVER.

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. How can I get Eli to forgive me if he won't even listen to me?

Then it dawned on me. He won't listen to me, but he WILL listen to his girlfriend. Maybe I can convince Clare to help me out with this…

I jumped up from the couch and went to grab the student directory from the drawer in the kitchen. I went down the "E" page and found Clare's address near the top. I scribbled it down on my hand and was about to leave when I heard a crash of thunder outside.

Crap.

I opened up my living room curtains to see big, black clouds looming up in the sky. It's not raining yet, but it looks like it's definitely gonna start soon…maybe if I run I can make it to Clare's house before the heavy rain kicks in.

-x-x-x-

I was wrong, I couldn't beat the rain. But luckily Clare's street was only a couple blocks away from mine so I was able to get there in about 5 minutes. Cold rain drops beat down on my back and I could feel my teeth chattering.

I looked at the number on my hand and tried to match it with a number on one of the houses. I finally found hers and sprinted across the street to get to it, thankfully stepping under her porch roof.

I rang the doorbell and prayed with all my heart that she'd be home; it's REALLY cold out here.

"One second!" I heard her voice call.

A moment later she opened the door.

"Fitz?"

She dropped the phone in her hand and I could hear a muffled voice screaming on the other end; most likely Eli.

"Hey Clare…I don't mean to bother you but can I come in?"

"Uh…" She hesitated and bit her lip, obviously perplexed.

"Please Clare, its cold out here." I pleaded, and she moved aside to let me in.

She shut the door quickly behind me to keep out the cold air and the leaned up against it.

"Uh…what are you doing here Fitz?" She asked, crossing her arms on her chest.

I sighed. "I really need Eli to forgive me Clare."

She put her hands on her head and sighed. "I know Fitz, but I'm sorry, I just don't think that's gonna work out. Eli's really upset with you."

"I know; which is why I need to fix this. I don't want to hurt him Clare, you believe me, right?"

It took her a second but she finally met my eyes. She held my gaze for a moment and then nodded slowly. "Yeah, I do. But he doesn't Fitz; he's convinced that all of this is an act; he thinks you're pretending to be a Christian just to get to me."

My face fell a little when I heard that. I would never do something like that now, but I suppose the old Fitz wouldn't have been above it…the old, terrible me that Eli knew.

"…do you think that Clare?" I asked quietly.

"No Fitz. I can see it in your eyes, you…you really have changed."

I looked up at her gratefully and smiled. "You have no idea how happy that makes me Clare. That's why I want you to help me. Will you please talk to Eli and ask him to forgive me?"

She sighed. "I don't know Fitz."

"At least get him to sit down and talk with me." I pleaded.

"Fitz…I don't wanna get in the middle of things-…"

"And normally I wouldn't ask you to. But I need this Clare, and I think you're the only that can help me. You and I…we have a spiritual connection. If you can make Eli see that then maybe we can all be friends, maybe we'll even be able to convert him!"

Clare snorted. "Good luck with that."

I reached for her hand and she gasped a little at the contact and pulled away.

"I'm sorry." I apologized quickly. "I just…please. I need Eli's forgiveness to put this all behind me." My voice was crackly from both the cold weather and emotion.

"Clare, I don't wanna think about the bad times anymore. I want to cleanse myself from them and never go back. I'm done with my old ways Clare, really!"

"I believe you Fitz," She said calmly, "But where did these scars come from then?"

I felt my face and realized that I'd forgotten to put cover up this morning. The scars reminded me of the bad times, I didn't like to look at them and I didn't want anyone else to either.

"They're from a few bad fights I got into at Juvie…before I talked to Father Greg."

"Oh."

"But that's behind me now Clare; I told you I've found the way, I-…"

I stopped talking and threw my hands up in the air, looking at her sadly. Isn't there any way I can convince her to help me?

"Oh Fitz…" Clare murmured. And before I could stop myself I reached out to hug her. She hugged me back, wrapping her arms around me tightly. It was a nice, friendly hug, something I haven't been given in a while and it made me feel warm.

"Clare!"

Clare immediately let go of me as her front door was thrown open and in stormed Eli, looking absolutely furious.

"What the hell is this?" He asked, and I noticed that his fists were shaking. He looked from me to Clare and that back at me.

"What are you doing here?" He asked me.

"I just wanted to talk to Clare-…"

"Oh really? You put one hand on my girlfriend I'll-…"

"Eli, relax, everything's okay."

"Not with this bastard here." He snarled.

"Please Eli, I was just asking Clare for help," I tried to explain, but I made the mistake of putting my arm on Clare's shoulder when I referred to her, and that was the last straw for Eli.

"Get your hands off you son of a bitch!" His fist came hurtling towards my face before I could process what was happening and I fell to the ground hard as blood flowed freely from my nose.

"Eli! What's wrong with you?" Clare shouted.

"He touched you."

"He patted my arm Eli, and you PUNCHED him!" She knelt down on the ground and looked at me.

"Fitz, are you okay?" She asked gently.

I nodded, clutching my nose with my hand, and I winced a little at the pain.

"I'll get you some paper towels." She said, and stood up to go to the kitchen.

"Clare, how can you help him after what he did to me?" Eli asked, enraged as he stepped in her way.

"Eli, look what you did to him!" She gestured to me bloody nose and then put her hands on her hips.

"I think you should leave." She said pointedly.

"But Clare-…"

"Leave!" She said louder and more agitated.

She left for the kitchen then and Eli turned to walk out the door.

Before he left he looked at me.

"I hate you." He growled, and then disappeared, slamming the door behind him.

The words hurt more than his punch, considering the whole reason I came over here was to try and get his forgiveness.

But it looks like that's never going to happen.