Author's Note: I haven't written in almost a year, so please be kind. Here's my thoughts on how this may play out in September! Please review!
Disclaimer: I bow down to the genius that is Andrew Marlowe.
They met at the swings. For some reason, the swings always brought her clarity. Maybe it was because her mother used to bring her to the park on her day off and push her on the swings until little Katie's eyes drooped, sleepy and happy. Or maybe it was because the first bricks of her emotional wall were dislodged here after her shooting and Rick's Heat Rises signing. Or maybe even more so because she sat there on those swings in the pouring rain and realized that her life was worth more than her mother's murder, that Rick was all she wanted. Whatever the reason, the swings seemed appropriate for whatever lay ahead for her and Castle.
A job in DC with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. That was big. And she beat out everyone else to earn her place there. She couldn't just ignore that accomplishment, could she? But there was Castle to think about, a five-year history with one of those years being filled with romantic vacations, kisses, new traditions, and love. They'd hit a rough patch recently, first Erik Vaughn and the jealousy he elicited from Rick, followed by the bomb case where everything seemed to be on track again until Agent Stack planted a seed in Kate's brain about being "destined to greater things." She just didn't know anymore where she and Rick were headed. She knew what she wanted and inquired of him, but he either didn't understand what she was asking or was worried about disappointing her with his answer. Was Rick getting bored with her? Did he even want or think about where they would be as a couple in a year? Or five years?
Clearly, he had thought about it, because there he was, knelt on one knee in front of her with a ring and a question.
"Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?"
She was stunned; stunned into silence. Honestly, she thought he was about to break up with her. The tears had already started welling up, the rims of her eyes quickly gaining a red tint. Rick had given no indication that this was coming, especially after he left her alone in her apartment after finding her boarding pass. She knew that a job in DC either meant a long distance relationship or no relationship at all. Castle is a passionate man, a man who needed his family and loved ones close by. Meredith had been in and out of their home for auditions and jobs when they were married and that didn't well at all. Kate couldn't see him trying a long distance relationship ever again so when Rick said he wanted more, that they both deserved more, Kate was all but convinced he was walking away. But it was the exact opposite.
It was a white gold ring, with a large oval cut diamond in the center with four smaller diamonds surrounding it, two rows of diamonds on the band. It was beautiful. It was perfect for her. It was classy and romantic, worthy of Richard Castle, but not too big. It was perfect. But this was not the perfect moment. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. She was about to accept a job offer in another state. She thought he was going to walk away. She was not expecting this at all.
But his eyes, they said everything. There was hurt there, but there was also love, desperation, and the terror of possibly losing her. There was no joking around, there was no smile, just sincerity. Kate had been wondering where he wanted them to go in their relationship, and now she had her answer, or at least part of it.
"Kate?"
His voice broke her thoughts. Her eyes lifted from the ring in his hand to meet his dark blue-grey eyes. "Rick," she paused, "get up, please."
His face fell, his eyes loosing any of the sparkle they had left, as he stood from his knelt position to return to the seat of the swings. Sunlight hit the diamond ring as he toyed with it in his lap.
"Rick…"
"You don't want it," he cut her off before she could finish. His eyes never left his hands as he placed the ring in his palm, and closed it into a fist. "I'll just…" he started, as he began to stand up.
"No," Kate said firmly as she reached over, placing her hand on top of his fist that held the ring intended for her. He sat back down and finally looked her in the eye. "I do want more," she continued, "I want more from you, from us, but I also want more from myself." Her hand stayed on his, her thumb running circles on his skin in the most familiar of ways. "I didn't tell you about the interview right away because I wasn't sure I wanted it. I didn't want to throw a wrench in our relationship without first figuring out what it meant and what it would change if I did want the job. And, yes, that was a mistake. I should have told you when you asked what Agent Stack talked to me about. I didn't want to ruin us."
He looked away from her again, not able to hold her gaze any longer.
"Because, Rick," she continued, as she moved her hand to open his fist, "I want this. I want what this ring means. Just not yet." She closed his fist again, the ring still tightly held within his grasp. "We have a lot to work out, Castle."
His eyes snapped back up to meet hers as she continued to speak, "I got the official job offer."
Rick blinked hard and placed the ring in the pocket of his suit jacket.
TBC
Please tell me what you think! Like I said, I haven't written in over a year, so I'm probably very rusty, and this has not been beta-d. Updates should come relatively quickly, only a few chapters total.