When Miss Elizabeth Bennet was in her freshman year of high school, her first-ever boyfriend of four months and sixteen days had broken up with her, and left her for her best friend. (That was the end of that friendship.) In a heartbroken haze, Lizzy had taken a purple glitter pen into hand, and scrawled a list in her spiral-bound notebook. It was the beginning of the boyfriend list. It would evolve into something like this:
-No smoking, drugs, or excessive alcohol.
-Must like me for who I am, and not constantly try to mold me into his vision of the ideal woman.
-Must not violate my constitutional rights. Any of them.
-Must love my family and be loved by them. Also needs to accept my strong familial bonds.
-Must accept my messiness.
-Must be financially stable. I'm not a gold digger; I just don't want to be paying for his to sit on his ass all day. And none of his traits should line up with the to ten ways to spot a con artist. (ie. Shady family background)
-Must want children eventually.
-Must be quirky. (Doesn't care about little things.)
-Must be nice. Not necessarily running around tossing money to the poor, but nice.
-He needs to like me. No more unrequited love drama.
-Needs to have siblings. Single children are just too spoiled.
-Lets me call the shots. Doesn't try to get into my pants on the first date.
-No players. I want a faithful guy.
-Must tell me I'm good looking after my morning run. That way, I'll know he likes me for reasons that aren't superficial.
-I must not be his 'everything'. He needs to have a life besides me.
-Needs to enjoy conversing with me. Not simply making out full time.
-Must not know about the list before I fall in love with him.
The piece of lined paper was soon riddled with check marks of different colors, each signifying a different boyfriend or crush. Items on the list would be crossed out or added as Lizzy changed and matured. Eventually, the list became a Word file on her computer, and whenever a boyfriend came along, she would type his name as the title, and keep a printout of her list in her purse for reference. If the guy didn't line up with all the traits described in the list within two months, Lizzy would break up.
The only person on the planet who knew about the list was Lizzy's eldest sister Jane. Jane was Lizzy's best friend and roommate (they shared a small apartment in a sleepy, Southern Californian collage town.) Jane was one of those classic beauties; with her blonde hair, and sun-kissed complexion, she was never in need of male attention. Lizzy harbored no jealousies, mainly because her sister was, in her opinion, the one person who deserved such looks. Jane was sweet and selfless, if slightly naïve.
Lizzy's younger siblings called her insane and picky, and her mother was forever lamenting that, with her 'condition' (which Lizzy had long since discovered was nothing but a severe case of hypochondria), she would never see all of her daughters happily married. According to her, Lizzy was selfishly depriving her mother of happiness by refusing to settle with the first man she encountered. Lizzy had long since stopped minding her mother's impertinent comments.
Lizzy's family was a peculiar one. She had four siblings: all girls. Lizzy came after Jane, the eldest. After Lizzy came Mary, a quiet, sulky sort of girl in her junior year of collage. Mary had yet to come to terms with the fact that, as beautiful as her piano playing was, her singing voice left much to be desired ("In the form of earplugs," Kitty had once grumbled.) Which brings us to Katharine, called Kitty. Kitty was outgoing, yet plain, and was endlessly seeking some of her twin sister Lydia's limelight. Lydia, who resembled Jane with her beach-blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes, was the poster girl for teens. She went through guys like Kleenex, and she was always the center of drama at the high school.
Lizzy's parents also contributed to the family's oddities. Mr. Bennet was an author, but never wrote anything that got much attention. He did some freelance journalism in his spare time, but mostly spent his days reading or working on a mysterious new 'project'. Because Mrs. Bennet hadn't be fond of the precocious adolescent Lizzy, Mr. Bennet had taken under the task of being her primary caregiver. He coached her softball teams, and had passed on all of his writing tricks to when she was in grade school.
Mrs. Bennet was the polar opposite of her husband. She had never had a collage education, and had rather shallow and superficial values. Jane, Lizzy, Mary, and Mr. Bennet had long since stopped taking her very seriously, and, with the exception of Mary, simply brushed off her meaningless rants. (Mary had a tendency to get extremely irked by said rants, and would have to go spend a few hours dissecting some Chopin to make herself feel better.)
Our story beings, on a beautiful Sunday morning, with Lizzy on her weekly visit to her parent's house, when Mrs. Bennet makes and startling announcement.
Author's Note: Yet another Pride And Prejudice Modernization. Let's all sigh, and wonder why yet another author had degraded herself so. (I'm assuming that no guys have written a modernization on Fanfiction. I've only come across one guy who didn't stare blankly at me when I mentioned the title of the book.)
I am determined to make a statement, however. I have noticed something about all the Pride an Prejudice modernizations I've read: In each of them, Darcy is the one entirely at fault, and changes to meet Lizzy's standards. In reality, Darcy was really this awesome guy, Lizzy just judged him.
Obviously, I'm going to fix that. This is going to be true blue to the plotline (No funny twists, or bits left out.)
Also, any reasonable complaints or the like may be sent to me via PM or review; whatever you prefer. I'm hoping to get the next chapter up soon, but I'm making no promises about update speed.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Salvation ala mode.