WARNING: This story contains profanity, violence, references to sex and gnomes. If you are offended by any of these, please turn around now and never come back. If not, feel free to read this story at your own leisure.
It was a normal day in Sandy Shores: rednecks were drinking with their buddies, coyotes became roadkill, and meth was being made - and, of course, our loved psychopath Trevor Philips was being crazy as usual.
"RON! RON! Where are you, you fucker?" Trevor drunkenly stumbled in his dirty trailer he called house, after going to a round of drinks in Los Santos yesterday with Michael and Franklin, where they spoke about aliens, clowns and disappearing mothers. He was currently trying to find Ron to bash upon as usual, but he, Wade and Chef had gone on a trip to Vice City some days earlier.
That's when a notification appeared on his phone: it was a message from his nephew, Jimmy. He opened the notification, a weak smile forming in his mouth. He liked to receive messages from his nephew, even if he was... who he was.
JIMMY: Yo, Uncle T, my man! Ya doin' well in Sandy Shores and shit? Check out dis sick video I found on InvaderTube! (1)
Below the message, there was an embedded InvaderTube link. Trevor turned up the volume of his phone and clicked it.
"Ho-ho-ho ha-ha-ha ho-ho-ho he-he ha, hello my old chum! I'm gnot a gnelf, I'm gnot a gnoblin... I'm a gnome! And you've been... GNOMED!" Said a gnome who walked randomly across the screen to taunt whoever got caught in this wretched video.
Trevor got gnomed, and he wasn't happy about it. He then proceeded to send a message back which was... very badly written, to say the least.
TREVOR: go fk urself u lil fk im going to ur house and imma kill u!
The angry Canadian went outside and hopped inside his Canis Bodhi, set the GPS route to Michael's mansion, and drove off swearing. The gnoming had really took a toll on him, since he wasn't Internet-savvy enough to know that it was just a little joke. And even if he knew his way around the Internet, he would probably react badly anyway, since... well, he was Trevor Philips, after all.
He received another notification from Jimmy.
JIMMY: Calm down, Uncle T! It's just a joke! You don't need to be that angry!
TREVOR: who are u to tell me to be angry or not, lil fker?
Jimmy was panicking like a little girl that lost her parents. He knew that his "uncle" was fully capable of killing him if he wished so, and he obviously didn't want to be killed. He was playing Righteous Slaughter: Ancient Warfare, and while he wanted to flee, he wanted to achieve the highest online rank on the game, and thus couldn't bring himself to stop playing. (2)
After a good chunk of time passed by, Jimmy was still playing, and he was home alone, since his father went out to play golf, his mother went to the beach and Tracey was on a porn director's house, letting some dudes stick their sausages in her. He heard the unmistakable noise of Channel X songs in the mansion's front door, and he instantly knew that it was his Uncle T.
"JIMMY! I'm coming for you, your little bastard!" Trevor had already climbed over the front wall, and he would stop at nothing to have Jimmy's head on a stake for gnoming him.
Jimmy then turned off his Exorbio 720, knowing that he had to be as fast as possible to escape his "uncle" Trevor. He went to the bathroom, opened the window, climbed down to the roof and jumped to the ground, intending to make a run for the tennis court. (3)
However, what he thought would be an epic movie moment where he rolled in style when hitting the ground, taking no damage whatsoever, and wiping the dirt on his shoulders ended up breaking his leg, forcing Jimmy to crawl. And if he was already slow when walking normally, he had the pace of a snail while crawling, which allowed Trevor to catch up to him.
Trevor then grabbed his pistol and shot his other leg, now stopping him completely. After sheathing the pistol, the psychotic meth-dealer then pulled his phone, showing the gnome, now taunting Jimmy as he stood there, unable to do anything but cry. Trevor approached him slowly, and Jimmy knew that it was his end.
"Sorry, Uncle T! I promise I won't do it again! Don't kill me! AAARGH!" These were Jimmy's last words as he suffered a fate that none dare to speak of to this day.
Hello to whoever is reading this little section I made up for myself here! This is my first story on this site, and I don't know all of the ropes yet, so any help would be extremely appreciated for future stories!
INTERESTING NOTES:
1) InvaderTube is a mix of LifeInvader and YouTube (there are no YouTube-inspired sites in GTA).
2) Righteous Slaughter: Ancient Warfare is a spoof of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.
3) The 7th Element corrected me, and there is indeed a console in GTA, the Exorbio 720. Thanks for the heads-up.
Please review and stay tuned for the next story! Thanks for reading, and goodbye!