Snuggles

The 9x09 bed scene made me so sad, wished it ended differently. So I took a shot at it. English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.

What could have happened after the bed scene in 9x09. Arizona's pov.

She turned over and settled on her pillow. Blinking her eyes, waiting for Callie to settle behind her on the bed. A part of her feared Callie would touch her or spoon her from behind, even though she knew Callie probably wouldn't. They hadn't cuddled in bed or even put an arm around or over each other. They kept there distance.

She heard Callie sigh behind her. She sounded sad and even in such a small sound she could hear Callies voice crack. Lost and close to tears. Silence filled the room for a moment and then Callie, seemingly made up her mind, settled down too.

Closing her eyes, Arizona tried to let sleep take over, but she couldn't stop thinking about Callie. So close, yet so far away. They used to be so close. Couldn't stop touching, if only a hand on an arm or cheek. She missed Callie, a lot. But the thought of Callie being so close to her, so close to...that... she couldn't even...imagine. Even now, after months, it was still hard to look at. Almost disgusted with her own body. What if Callie saw it or touched it by accident...would she be disgusted? Would she flee? Find some hot two legged woman who could satisfy all her needs.

Sighing she turned on her back, sleep far from her mind now, and looked over at her wife. Callie was facing her, one hand on the pillow next to her head not far from Arizona. Almost as if she wanted to reach out and touch her, but lost her nerve and just put it down on the pillow. Her eyes were closed, but the wrinkles between her eyes showed she clearly wasn't asleep. Rather deep in thought, troubled.

Arizona bit her lip, trying to think of something to lighten the burden. Something to make it easier on her wife. Anything. But she knew that just a few words wouldn't do much good now. They talked a lot more over the last few weeks and worked through some things. Both apologized for harsh words uttered. They settled into a more relaxed rhythm and even sharing a few jokes at work. But they hadn't really re-explored their intimacy. Yeah they had kissed, their lips barely thouching. Although Callie had started to flirt a little with her again. Sweet words, carefully uttered, afraid to push to far. And Arizona had brushed them of, smiling lightly and moving on to different topics.

But tonight, when Callie told her how beautiful she is, for the first time in months, she believed it too. The love and adoration in Callies eyes. She could feel it in her belly, butterflies coming to life. Wanting to drown in those beautiful brown eyes, kiss her full lips and just let all fear go. But when Callie turned to put out the lamp on the nightstand, it all came back in full force. So she turned away quickly, that sweet moment now lost. Doubt and insecurities taking the lead.

Sighing again she rolled back on her side, away from Callie. Callie had tried to reach out again, big time, and after the butterflies had settled, she had brushed it off. Yet again. She knew the ball was in her court. Her wife, so beautiful and sweet and loving. Who stayed through it all. She deserved everything Arizona could give, and more. Arizona was a good man in a storm, and even though she hadn't felt she was in a long time. Now it was time to find out if she could be that person again. For Callie.

Working up the courage, she let out a deep breath. "Callie?" she whispered.

Silence. Had she fallen asleep? She tried again, this time louder. "Callie?"

Sheets moving. "Yeah?" Callie answered.

Arizona bit her lip, mind working overtime. Come on! Say something! You can do it! "I..I.. w..was thinking, that...well maybe...do you...?" A good man in a storm, Arizona, you are a good man in a storm!

"Do you wanna snuggle?"she whispered. Heart beating fast. She held her breath, fearing the answer.

Nothing happened. Silence.

Then suddenly, the sheets moving again, more so then before. She felt a hand touch her side, carefully. She tensed, but then forced herself to relax. She stayed real still, while she felt Callie settle behind and against her. Callies arms lightly around Arizona and her body flush against her, but without being to forward. Giving her every opportunity to move away if she pleased. Arizona moved her leg a little, just out of reach. Arizona then felt Callies nose in her hair, her warm breath against her neck.

They stayed like that for a moment. Silent, both afraid to have pushed to far.

Arizona closed her eyes, let the air she had been holding in out, and let herself drown in her wifes embrace. God, had she missed this. Lying here now, she couldn't believe she had pushed Callie away for so long. This was Heaven. She put a hand on Callies arm en squeezed lightly. She felt Callie sigh, hot air brushing her neck. She then felt Callie shift her head slightly, pressing a light, loving kiss on her neck, and place her head back where it was with her nose burried in Arizona's hair. "I love you, Arizona."

Arizona, feeling the butterflies in her belly go crazy, thought her heart might explode or melt. Never having felt such love as in that moment, hearing those words, lying in her beautiful wifes arms. She might not feel ready to utter the same words back to her wife, but she felt she could for sure give her one more thing. "Goodnight,... Calliope."

Hope you liked it.

marijke84