Katawa Shoujo
Stringless
The snow fluttered sky, large and full. The chill of the wind struck Hisao's cheek with such a intense flare that he flinched.
"Why did they choose now to meet up... It's freezing out here..." Hisao muttered into his scarf, his hot breath pouring from his covered mouth. It wasn't supposed to be this angrily cold and windy today. A sudden wind from the north averted the predicted forecast of light winds. Instead, Hisao was out in the cold, waiting for whoever put the note in his book to come along.
It was 4:10 now, and no sign of them. The weather probably drove them away, whoever it was. Or maybe it was just a prank to get Hisao to stand out in the cold. He assumed both as likely.
He felt ready to go home. He didn't want to be out in this drift. He'd rather sit in bed at home. He honestly felt like he could sleep for four months straight, wrapped up in bundled blankets, safe and dry.
"...H-Hisao?" Came a voice from behind him. "You came?"
Hisao felt his heart skip a second. He recognized the voice instantly. The softness, the delicacy, and the daintiness of it. He turned to face his greeter.
It was Iwanako.
Hisao's throat instantly tightened. A sweat broke out in a prickled spike across the back of his neck in a second, the chilling rend of air doing nothing to quell it.
"...Iwanako?" Hisao managed to choke out clearly, "I got a note telling me to wait here... it was yours?" Although his tone was smooth, he could feel his heart rate increase. He had been paranoid of it lately- minorly, but still- of his heart. He had been feeling chest pains for a while now, but nothing severe. Nothing that, to him, seemed too much trouble, so he didn't bother telling his parents or a doctor about it. It could just be muscle related after all.
He payed no more attention to his heart. Now, all that mattered was the girl of his dreams standing before him in the cold, with an innocent, and quite shy expression on his face. He had been working the entire afternoon on the opening line, and he felt like he fumbled it entirely. Whatever he wanted, it certainly was much more smooth than what he had just spoken.
"Um... yes. I asked a friend to give you that note." She giggled shyly for a moment. "I'm so glad you got it..."
Hisao could feel the pounding now in his ears. He felt as though his heart would pound out of his chest. He could almost swear his heart was in his throat, causing him to choke up.
"So... ah..." Hisao began awkwardly. "Here we are... out in the cold..." He instantly regretted saying that. She might have felt chastised, for picking such a bad time to come out here to talk alone. Hisao would have preferred the school hallways, or a café, or something compared to this blistering flurry.
The branches sounded like windchimes in the winter gales. Very bad, annoying windchimes. Hisao would have normally enjoyed the sound of frozen branches in the wind, but in this weather, he couldn't enjoy it at all.
Iwanako stood silently for a moment, with a pensive look on her face, as if trying to find what to say.
However, she glanced up from the ground, locking her eyes with Hisao's. She seemed to suddenly have a resolve not found before. Iwanako looked with a determination that she was ready to do something with courage. She took a step forward, the crunch of the snow bringing her sharply back down to Earth. She returned to a mildly shy gaze, her eyes still locked with Hisao's. She twirled a lock on her hair gently, apparently trying to keep the resolve she had a moment before with her before it escaped.
"You see..." She began. "I wanted to know... if you'd go out with me?"
Hisao's mind began to draw a blank. He had anticipated this possibility, but the fact she actually said it caused every fiber of his being to halt with such a force, he forgot to breathe for a second. The moment he tried to take in air, however, he suddenly noticed something was very wrong.
His left arm was entirely numb.
His heartbeat was thudding so powerfully, it actually hurt. He didn't notice it from the shock before, but nonetheless, his chest burned with pain, it spreading outward across his body. He could not feel his fingers, as the sharp numbness electrocuted his arm, which quickly traveled to his neck and his hip, his entire left side beginning to tingle with such an intensity, had Hisao the willpower, or the control, he would have screamed.
He felt his eyes roll skyward, his vision blackening by the second into a scope of light, like one would see moments before they died.
He couldn't even hear Iwanako screaming for help, or the powerful gales that now assisted the cold take him over.
He hit the ground, just after everything went dark.
KATAWA SHOUJO
STRINGLESS
When Hisao awoke, he was, at first, confused about where he was. He looked towards an unfamiliar ceiling, a sterile white. The air was cold and uncomfortable, and the smell in the air reeked of metal and cleaning chemicals.
He tried to sit up. He didn't feel any discomfort in his movement. In fact, he felt okay. He couldn't remember what happened, however. He took a look around. The walls were a clean white, a teal and gold-trimmed stripe circling the center of the wall. Medical equipment of all kinds surrounded him. The faint beeping of the heart monitor next to him was enough to remind him exactly what happened.
The doctor came in, a clipboard in hand, and a plastic smile on his face.
"Good morning, Nakai." He said, moving towards him. "How are you feeling today?"
Hisao couldn't find the words at first. He hardly remembered what was wrong... all he remembered was he fainting when... Iwanako...
He grimaced. "...spectacular."
"Hmm..." The doctor mused, apparently understanding Hisao's sarcastic claim. "Right... Nakai, I have news for you, and I do not believe you will like it.
News? Hisao thought. What news could be so bad? All I did was faint...
The doctor sat next to Hisao on his bed.
"Hisao... do you know what Cardiac Dysrhythmia is?" He said. "It is also known as Arrhythmia."
"...Cardiac... that's heart related, isn't it?" He said. "And Dysrhythmia, that means 'out of rhythm'."
"Correct. Hisao Nakai... we believe you have a very rare heart defect known as Cardiac Dysrhythmia. It's... informally called an irregular heartbeat."
Hisao felt as if his stomach went cold. Irregular heartbeat? What even does that mean? Hisao wondered what the implications for it meant.
"An irregular heartbeat," The doctor said, to answer Hisao's confused expression, "basically means your heart can sometimes beat out of control, and cause heart attacks, just like what you had a few days ago."
So Iwanako asking me out was a few days ago, Hisao thought. That would explain why I feel okay now.
"You've had it for a very long time, it seems... and it's a miracle that you were able to go so long without having any complications." The doctor stated. "You're quite something, Hisao..."
A miracle? Hisao thought. Was that supposed to make me feel better? I just had a heart attack, who knows how much this will affect the rest of my life... and you're calling it a miracle?
Hisao's bitter thoughts distracted him from the doctor's words, until he spoke something that sharply brought him back down to Earth.
"...very long while until a full recover. You'll stay here until the surgery shows signs of success, and your health improves. In the mean time, we will monitor you, and keep you safe." He looked to Hisao. "I understand this may seem unfair... but this is the only way to keep you alive for now."
The doctor kept telling Hisao that everything was going to be okay, and kept reassuring him that he will be safe and happy here, as he left.
Hisao was only sure of one thing. He was most certainly not happy. He fell back down into bed, gently reaching into his hospital gown to feel at his chest.
He didn't notice it before, but a long, angry looking surgical cut now adorned his chest. It felt rigged to the touch.
Hisao sighed. Why him, he thought.
The next four months passed without much of a hassle. People sent him get well soon gift cards, and many things in an attempt to get Hisao to cheer up. He didn't exactly like it when he discovered that his wellness wishing was just a class project. He hardly believed any of them meant what they sent, and if they had any sympathy. Eventually, all that was left was Iwanako and his parents. Iwanako tried her hardest to not mention that day, as every time Hisao brought it up, a rather guilty expression crossed her face. Hisao told her many times it wasn't her fault, but Iwanako refused. She believed it to be her fault he had a heart attack, and often felt remorse for it.
Eventually, even Iwanako stopped coming. Hisao assumed it was for the best- she didn't help herself at all when she came here. More often than not, she left looking considerably more solemn than she did when she came. All that was left were Hisao's parents, who regularly visited.
After four months, Hisao felt as if he had been driven into bibliomania, for there was nothing for him to do other than read books. After he read all of the books in the hospital's library, he even asked his parents to bring him more books. Novella, manga, magazines, even text books. He read it all. He felt like he'd have to get eye surgery too, lest he go blind from reading so much.
At first, he felt tender when moving, not wanting to do anything to aggravate his heart. However, as weeks turned into months, Hisao eventually decided to stop caring. His heart wasn't acting up, and the tenderness began to fade. The doctors began to notice this too, telling Hisao he seems much stronger now.
Hisao guessed the doctors were right in a sense- the first month of this was painful and rather tender, and careful. However, as months went on, Hisao seemed to develop a resistance to the pain, and has adapted to moving with his condition easier. Breathing was easier, he could finally stand up without nearly falling over, and his arm wasn't going numb anymore. He didn't even feel light headed anymore.
One morning, Hisao was reading one of his favorite books- Contact, by Carl Sagan- when his parents visited. Only this time, they brought a doctor with them. They all looked to have a smile on their face, or were at least much more happier than usual. Hisao wondered what had them in such a good mood.
The doctor sat at the edge of Hisao's bed. "Good morning, Hisao. How are you today?" He asked.
Hisao didn't respond, but managed a smile back at him. He felt it was the least he could do- these people did keep him from dying these last couple of months.
"We believe you are ready to go home now; you're much stronger than before, and with some precautions, as well as medication, you will be okay." The doctor picked a sheet of paper from the stack he had. "We have all of your prescription information ready. I will give it to your father." He handed the paper to Hisao's dad. "It's... well, it's a lot."
His father's expression became more and more appalled with every line he scanned.
"So... many..." He muttered. Hisao's mother looked over his father's shoulders, and covered her mouth in quite a shock. Hisao reached up and took the paper from his dad. It slid from his hands easily.
Hisao quickly began to read over the paper. His mouth fell open in shock.
There were at least sixteen different medications listed, all with their own unique list of side affects and dosage takes. It blurred to him in a stormy sea of black text. Hisao cringed thinking of all of this medication he will have to take.
"...you're... kidding..." Hisao muttered, looking defeated.
"I'm afraid that's the best we can do for now." The doctor said. "However, because science is always advancing, it wouldn't surprise me see this list dwindle as time goes on. Many people have your condition, although rare, so I am sure there are medical teams already researching for a cure for it. Perhaps, in the next decade... you can be cured."
Hisao no longer was listening to the doctor. He didn't feel angry, or disappointed, or even sad. In fact, he felt barren. Mentally petrified in a sense, as if his entire mind was beginning to halt as he ready the dosage amounts, and totaled them in his head. Sixteen medications, some with one pill, some with two, and one with four doses. There even was two liquids. Along with different times of the day to use the medicine- mostly twice a day, once on waking up, and once before bed. Some medicine even had adverse looking side affects that made Hisao wonder why they even put this medication on the list. If it could kill him, why take it? He always wondered that about medicine. Now that he was on the receiving end of it, he didn't know what to think.
"Oh, yes, Hisao, we believe it is best you didn't return to your old school." The doctor said. This sharply returned Hisao to the hospital room.
"What!?" Hisao shouted suddenly, more surprised than angry.
"Hisao, please calm down." Hisao's father asked sternly. "Listen to what the doctor has to say."
Hisao looked as if he was told he would be spending another two months in this hospital. He rested back in his bed, looking up to the doctor, hoping that there was an explanation. He silently prayed that he would not be home schooled.
"Hisao, we understand your education is paramount. However, we agree it is best you do not go without assistance just yet." The doctor explained. Hisao saw the image of him walking through the school yard with a life support unit strapped to his back, and a heart monitor on wheels trailing with him. "At least, until we are certain your medication is working as intended. I have spoken to your parents about a transfer." He flipped his papers around a bit, looking for something. He pulled out a flier on his clipboard, and handed it to Hisao. "Yamaku Academy. A boarding school that specializes in assisting the disabled in their education."
Disabled? Hisao thought. I. I'm disabled?
"It has a twenty-four hour nursing staff, and is located near one of the best hospitals in the region. It's designed to grant the students a sense of freedom. Even if they are disabled, they are not confined."
Hisao began to think of the irony a boarding school with a full time nursing staff near a hospital had along with the association of freedom.
"This is only if you want to go, Hisao." Hisao's father said. "Your mother and I... canot home school you. We wish we could but..." He sighed. "We went out there a few weeks ago. We think you will like it."
Hisao was going to argue, but he lost his argument just as he thought of it. It was hopeless. He decided to concede and accept this.
The doctor and his parents kept talking to Hisao, attempting to persuade him into believing this was a good thing for him. Hisao, however, could only feel discomfort and uneasiness at what was given to him. He wasn't there to make a decision for himself. He was unable to retort. He couldn't defend himself with what little dignity he had left in him to tell them that he wanted to make decisions for himself. He could barely muster any kind of argument that he didn't beat back into his mind a second after its conception.
Hisao simply gave up. He could not fight fate. And apparently, fate was driving him to Yamaku Academy. He sighed and looked out the window. He already felt his new disabled title kicking in. The sky was clear and blue with the spring cherry blossoms swaying into the wind. He casually wondered if he hadn't had a heart attack, he would be out among those petals, enjoying them as he walked with Iwanako down the sidewalk, laughing together. A cold stone turned in his stomach, reminding him that it was no ones fault he was there. He was simply born with a rare heart defect and Iwanako triggered it accidentally. He had no one to blame for it.
He turned his eyes up to look to the sky. Birds soared in the skies, as jet plane trails severed the sky like samurai swords.
I guess a clean slate isn't a bad thing, Hisao thought. He looked down at the flier that had been given to him. He stared at the large, brick building that was printed on the front. He wondered, not in a deprecating sense, but now a sense of wonder. What was pushing him to Yamaku Academy? Why did it seem like this was more than just fate's hand at work? Was there something at Yamaku Academy he needed to do? A person to meet?
His expression softened. He didn't know what to expect, but if he could survive a heart attack, Hisao felt he could survive a new school.
He looked up to the doctor and his parents, who were still talking.
"Alright." He said, the three suddenly stopping, and looking to Hisao. "I'll do it. I'll attend Yamaku Academy."