Ok, so this is a Maddison fic, Addison's point of view... just an idea I had. A week in the life of Addison! Enjoy :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.
The song in this fic is called Close to Nothing by Inspection 12.
I used to hate working Sundays. I'd grown up thinking that Sunday was a relaxing day; a day for no work. It was supposed to be a day of sleeping late, eating pancakes for breakfast, and curling up with a good book. I don't mind working Sundays anymore. It's a waste of batter to make pancakes just for myself.
I drove to work, listening to the radio. I switched to my favourite music station. A song I'd never heard before came on.
I can't help it if I found
Some way for me to get around
Thinking that I'm still not over you
"Coffee, black," I said to the woman working the coffee cart in the lobby.
"$1.50," she said, holding her hand out for the money I owed her. I ducked my head, digging in my change purse.
"I got it," an all too familiar face said. I sighed. It was way too early in the morning to deal with Mark.
"Keep your pennies," I told him, slapping the equivalent amount into his palm. "If you're going to buy me something, it might as well be shoes."
He laughed, giving me 'the face'. I rolled my eyes.
Two years we had a lot of fun
But now its over and its done
"Don't you have patients to see?" I asked, sipping my coffee. I shut my eyes for a brief moment, savouring the feeling of the bitter liquid burning a path down my throat.
"Just one. She's quite a pretty thing. I think she's more of a psych case though… I can't figure out what's wrong with her that she won't date me," he winked. God, he was so obvious it hurt.
"Maybe you should get a consult then."
Don't think I'll ever feel it again
Cause all I ever wanted was to be with you
It's something I've not lately had the chance to do
"I've been thinking about going into psych. What do you think about that?" he asked me.
"Mark!" I turned on him, "I'm not interested!" I turned and stalked down the hall. My pager went off, and I headed down the surgical wing to see what my latest case would be. I didn't look at Mark. I didn't want to see it in his eyes that he didn't really care. It's all in the chase, and I hate that. I'm better off alone.
And now I don't mean much to no one
And I'm left with close to nothing
"Who's presenting?" I asked Bailey's interns. Izzie Stevens stepped forwards.
"Anna Davis, twenty-four year old female, thirty weeks pregnant with quadruplets. Presented an hour ago with what appeared to be Braxton Hicks contractions. They've stopped now."
"Mrs. Davis, I'm Dr. Addison Montgomery, and I'll be your attending neo-natal physician. Let's take a look. Dr. Stevens, did you do an ultra-sound?"
"Um, yeah," she said, scrambling for the computer print out. Meredith handed it to her and Izzie handed it to me. I hated dealing with multiples of this amount. No one woman can safely have more than three babies at once.
"Alright," I said after I finished examining the ultrasound. "Dr. Bailey, can I have an intern?"
The woman looked around at her group of 'suck ups' as she lovingly referred to them. "Uh, Stevens," she nodded.
I noticed Alex looking almost… disappointed? "Thank you, Dr. Bailey." I said to her as she left with the rest of her interns.
"Set up the ultrasound again, and page me," I told her, "I have to go check the Kiren baby in the NICU." I left the room to check out the premature baby girl that was in desperate need of a heart transplant.
I arrived at the NICU, and once again, there was Mark.
"Mark," I began, but he cut me off, his lips on mine. I felt myself giving in and I kissed him back, but then I gathered myself and pushed him away.
"What?" he asked; confusion on his face. I knew he'd felt my kissing him back, and his confusion was justified.
"You're not going to stay. You're going to be here, you're going to kiss me, but you won't stay. I need more." I turned and entered the NICU, leaving him standing there in the hall, dumbfounded.
All I ever wanted was you
I can't help it if I see
On some other wavelength
She was paling, this tiny girl. The heart beat of her underdeveloped and highly damaged heart was erratic. I allowed the intern, Dr. Shultz that I'd asked to stay with her and keep her alive to take a short break while I checked her out.
The young woman returned after a moment. "She's not going to make the week," I sighed. "We've got to find a donor."
"Yeah, I've been searching, but there aren't any available," she said apologetically.
My pager went off. Izzie must have the ultrasound set up. "I've got to go. Keep her alive, please, Dr. Shultz."
"Dr. Montgomery," Izzie said as I entered the room, "You need to take a look at this." I watched Mrs. Davis grip her husband's hand as I peered at the monitor. I knew right away that at least one of her babies wasn't going to make it.
"She's only got one lung?" Izzie asked after we'd left the room.
I removed my glasses and turned to look Izzie in the eye. "She's alive now because she doesn't have to breathe."
"How do we tell her that we know she's going to die, and there's nothing we can do?"
"We just have to," I said with a sigh.
---
I sat in the gallery, watching Derek and Mark operate on a car crash victim and trying to think of what I could do to keep all of the quadruplets alive. The gallery was empty, except for Alex Karev leaning against the door frame on the opposite side.
I'd been so long since I'd seen Derek and Mark operate together. I remembered the countless times they'd come out of surgery together, laughing and congratulating each other on yet another job well done. Then, Derek would head off to check on a patient. Mark would grab his coat and drive me home.
It wasn't intended to be anything. He was just my friend keeping me company. The first time we'd gone beyond that, it was a Thursday night. Mark and I were watching an old movie on TV, leaning against the couch and eating Chinese food. Derek had phoned to tell me he wouldn't be home tonight. He was doing an emergency hemispherectomy.
I'd been upset. Mark had been there. He'd kissed me and I'd given in. It had been amazing. The chasm Derek had created wasn't there anymore.
I put my head in my hands, and tried not to sob. I need him. I hate that I need him.
It's just that time has ripped it away
And when I try to let it go
It always takes me to a low
And it only goes to show
You're all I need
I had a brainwave. I can't save that Davis quadruplet. She can't survive with only one lung.
Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to convince Anna and Greg to donate their baby's heart to the Kiren preemie.
---
"Mr. and Mrs. Davis? I need to talk to you about one of your quadruplets," I said that evening before I left.
"Are they all right?" Anna asked as her husband brushed a wild brown curl out of her face.
"One of your babies, baby C here at the bottom," I pointed to the ultrasound and then to the place on her stomach where the baby lay curled up, "has only one lung."
"What does that mean?" Greg asked, and I watched their eyebrows knit together with worry.
"There is nothing we will be able to do to save her," I said softly, feeling my heart go out to the couple. "I'm sorry."
I turned to leave and let them to process this news.
"If I lose one, will they still be quadruplets?" Anna asked, her voice shaky.
I turned to give her a sad smile. "Yeah, they will be."
Outside the door, I met Mark, already wearing his street clothes, and carrying a paper takeout bag. "We need to talk," he said.
I shook my head as I glanced into the bag. Pancakes. "Food first, talk later."
I got into his car, and went with him to his apartment, all the while thinking about the mistake I might be making.
All I ever wanted was you
So what do you think? Review please, and let me know!
Maybelline