A/N hey guys (: this is my first fanfic and I hope its good enough, this chapter is kinda short just because it's the end of chapter 23, so enjoy!

(Chapter 23, monster, page 530)

His arms curled around me, and he hugged me securely while he whispered in my ear.

"That should have been our first kiss. Better late than never."

I crushed myself into his chest with the most force I could manage while the tears welled up in my eyes. How could I do this to him? I was a monster, a terrible one. I was in love with two people, well actually with a werewolf and a vampire, and I deserved neither one of them.

He pulled slightly away to see my face, his own contorting in what must have been pain. "Bella, I know I'm only making this harder for you, I just don't want to see you cry." He said, wiping away a tear with his thumb that had spilled over.

I could tell he meant it, and it pained him every time he saw me like this. I wondered if he could see the conflict in my eyes, if he could see the battle raging in my mind. He was always one to understand exactly how I felt and pick up on things that even I wasn't sure of.

He must have thought my not answering him was my answer, he must have thought I didn't want him because when he looked down at me I saw one single tear cascading down his warm cheek. And it nearly broke me. "Never mind Bells, I see how it is. Things never change do they?" He asked more to himself than me.

All I could do was shake my head, things could change. After time of course, but surely I could change… in the end.

Again he took it the wrong way, "Well, I guess this is goodbye then?" He forced a sad smile and pulled away from me.

"No!" I nearly shouted, "Jake, I-I don't want you to leave, I… I love you Jake, I need you." I croaked in between sob.

How could I try to make him stay when Edward was on his way back? Edward. My head felt like it was filled with smoke, I couldn't see the right path to take. All I could see was the future I envisioned while Jake and I had kissed, while only a ghost of what I had once wanted most with Edward stalked discreetly in the background.

I knew the battle was over, and I finally saw that they were both right, I had been wrong all along.

The tears continued to pour down my cheeks. Jake studied my face, taking it in one last time and sighed. He finally shook his head. "Bye Bella."

"Please Jake…" I struggled with the words, I didn't want him to leave at all, but maybe it was best I did. All could be explained later, and everything could be settled once and for all.

Before I could find the right words to make him come back, he spoke. "Bella, I will always be there for you… waiting. But I promise you, I won't come looking anymore." He stepped away in defeat, his face was emotionless, it wasn't my Jacob looking at me now, it was Sam's Jacob.

I watched him turn and run full tilt back into the forest. I sat on the cold ground and wrapped my arms around myself. My Jacob he had been my own personal sun, the one who had fixed me. The gapping hole that he had created himself burned around the edges. I lurched forward on my hands and knees feeling sick, what had I done?

"Bella?" Edwards's voice was filled with concern, and as I looked up I saw that his face was an exact representation of just that. Before I had time to answer he was cradling me in his arms. No, I couldn't let him do this. It would only hurt more. I pulled away, we were both standing now.

"Edward." It was all I could muster up. I had no idea what really to say.

"Bella what did he do to you?" His voice was like velvet even now, when concern was etched in every syllable he spoke.

I took a deep breath to steady myself, I wasn't very successful. "He was right, that's all. You were right. I… I was wrong, completely denying the truth." I croaked. I had never really stopped crying, but all of a sudden my vision blurred so much I couldn't see anything and my legs gave out beneath me, it was all too much to handle. Of course Edward caught me before I fell, but he sat me down on the ground and pulled away again. I broke into hysterics, all the while he waited patiently.

I looked up to see the expression on his face, and I knew it would haunt me forever. It was almost worse than seeing the look of pain on Jacob's face. "Edward – I – I'm sorry, so – so sorry." I put my head between my knees and closed my eyes. "I love you, I really do, but – but Jacob. It's the natural path I should have taken." I paused to wipe my eyes and look up. His face was a mask, no emotion showed, He had hidden his previous expression, but I knew underneath it all he was hurt, hurt badly. I cried a little more before I continued. "Jacob, he was there when you left, he filled the whole in me that you left. And then when you came back, I realized Jacob had left his own hole to take the place of the one that you had filled again. It burned and I never forgot how it pained me to see him upset." I paused and finally whispered "And Edward, you were never able to fill the whole he left."

Edward was quiet his breathing even, he wasn't looking at me, but towards the forest. "I knew you loved him Bella, I always knew it. And I hurt you so badly, but he was there to keep you sane. It hurts to even think of it. I knew you would realize one day that you loved Jacob, but I was selfish enough to believe you loved me more." He looked as though he was being torn in half. "I only want the best for you, I want you to be happy, I –" He stopped abruptly his face frozen.

"Edward? Edward? What's wrong? I'm sorry! Please, Edward tell me what's wrong?!" I was crying hysterically, something bad was happening I knew it.

"Victoria." He spat, his expression was a mix of pain and hatred. I knew what he was going to say next, even though I hoped he wouldn't. "Bella, I will fight for you, but if you don't need me anymore…" His face was twisted in an expression I had never seen grace his features before, it hurt to look. "Then I need to leave, I – I'm sorry, I can't stay any longer." He kissed my forehead and was facing the forest in a crouching position so quickly I barely saw him move.

This was exactly the opposite of what I wanted. The last look I would ever take of Edwards beautiful face was one of hatred and pain.

"Sorry to ruin the moment." The voice was high pitched with a scratch to it. It was exactly how I imagined it. Victoria stepped out of the trees with someone else beside her, someone blond. I saw the blood red eyes, the wicked grin that tortured me in my dreams and her fire-like hair, but that was all I saw before it all went black.

A/N I didn't quite feel like repeating the exact words of the book ;) so I just said Bella passed out, but if you want to know exactly what would have happened during the fight it probably would have been very similar to the novel itself, anyways please review it and let me know what you think, yes? Good (: