This is the first fic I've posted in quite a while. It's from Blaine's point of view, just after Kurt has broken up with him. I really hope you enjoy it.
The next few minutes of my life were going to be the most heart shattering I've ever experienced.
In this next single moment, my life was about to turn around completely – I mean, is that even possible? Just a few seconds, a few words - And your whole life, upside down on its head, shattered, ruined and completely altered.
As the words come out of his mouth, I can't move. I can hardly breathe, my stomach is in knots and the rest of my body feels completely numb. I just stand there for a minute, looking straight down at the ground. My whole world feels like it's caved in.
"...I'm sorry" He mumbles, his eyes looking everywhere but at me. He finally fixes them to his feet. The numbness of my body begins to fade, and is replaced by a fierce and heavy ache in my chest. My eyes begin to glass up with tears and I'm speechless, still breathless.
"No...No, No Kurt. No..." That's all I can manage to say. I can feel my hands beginning to shake, my face heating up – I reach out and try to take his hand, but he just moves away from me, So I let it fall back to my side. This isn't really happening, is it? But it is. I need to speak, to tell him I just can't live without him. That he's my everything, the reason I'm happy, the reason that I can walk around with that constant, stupid grin on my face. How I'm willing to change for him, for us, how I'm willing to do anything for him if he can just stay with me. I want him to stay, I need him to.
I try to speak but all the words just flood out at once, a mess of jumbled pleas. " Just...Please, let me show you where we could...go, what we can do. I can change, Kurt, I can...I can adjust, I can grow.." I'm cut off by a realisation that catches my thoughts, and I can't speak anymore. It's too painful. Because I know, deep, deep down...That this is it. He is definite about this, serious. Our relationship is going to be over – And I'm never going to be able to hold him in my arms again. I'm never going to sing him to sleep again. I'm never going to kiss him again.
I look at him, I mean, I reallylook at him – study his features. His sweet, 'porcelain' skin is radiating, his eyes that were once so full of emotion; the pain, stress, happiness, love...the glee, Now seem empty. He stares almost straight back at me. But his eyes just glaze over, and it's as if he's just looking right through me. Then he closes his eyes. He closes his warm, magnetic, blue eyes for what seems like an eternity, and then he finally opens them again. And he's just looking back down at his feet.
He's beautiful, Perfect, and so wonderful. I'm mesmerized. I try to touch him again. I move my hand up from down by my side, and it's still violently shaking. I blink back what tears I can and swallow as I lean forward, and turn my palm up. I touch the bottom of his chin, and let out a jagged sigh and I stutter my thoughts into words, "I just c-can't imagine my life without you, and me." It's at this point I realise I'm crying. The tears are streaming. I can't remember the last time I've cried like this, the last time I've ever felt pain this intense. I swallow, and take another deep breath before I continue, "There are so many things I can't imagining doing, seeing and experiencing..." I start to sob, but I stop myself and take another deep breath. Slowly breathing, trying to continue, "Without you." I stroke his skin with my thumb, shaking my head as I whisper, "Please...Please...I beg you, please. Don't go."
But he doesn't say anything at all. Silence. My life is crashing before my eyes. He just brings his hands up to where my hand rests at the bottom of his face, and he wraps his fingers gently around mine. I make sure to appreciate every second my skin is in contact with his, with the softness that he is blessed with. But I hardly get a chance, before he's peeling away my fingers. He looks at me. He gestures, by pushing my hand away to my chest.
And I'm just standing there, motionless. I can't say a single word. Everything is gone. I have nothing, absolutely nothing if I don't have him. In desperation, in this bare desperation I've locked myself into, I'm trying to pull him close. I put my arms around him just trying to change what he wants, what he's thinking, what he's just said. I pull my head level with his, just forcing him to look into my eyes and to make him listen, one last time. I can't just leave it, I'm not going to leave all of it now. He said forever. He meant forever, I know he did. I speak in between my rugged breaths, holding him tightly to me, "You can't do this, you can't let everything we've been through together simply crash and fall down..." This is out of order, It's ridiculous. What we have is special, every moment is precious. He can't throw it away like this.
Once again without a single word, He pulls away. My arms are tightly clamped around his perfect petite waist, holding on to him so desperately. He gently pushes me back and he looks at me straight. The weight of my chest is now excruciating, nothing like I've ever felt before. His eyes meet mine for the final time. I'm crying again as he turns around, so he's now got his back to my face. He takes one step forward, and he looks back for the last time.
And then walks away.
Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think?