A/N Title's is named after the song Smiles and Tears from Mother 2's, or otherwise known as Earthbound, sound track. First Fanfic please be nice. Edit 11/12/11 fixed some spacing issues. Thanks for the Awesome reviews.

"Hey Joker," Shepard said dangling a cup of coffee in front of him, "Brought you coffee."

"Thanks," trying not to shiver when her fingers brushed against his as he grabbed his coffee and took a sip.

They fell into a comfortable silence, occasionally Joker lifted his coffee cup up to drink.

"So, Commander what are you doing up so late," Joker said breaking the silence.

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to see everyone's favourite helmsman." Shepard said, flashing him a smile.

He couldn't help but to give one in response. He loved the way that her face light up when she smiled. Like she was genuinely happy to him. He loved a lot of things about her. Her dark rich laugh that made him desperately search for jokes to tell just to hear it. The way her body gracefully moved. The way she look at him not as a cripple but as an equal.

He didn't realise that he loved her until he was pounding on the door of the eject pod. Watching her body drift away his chest seized up. His throat sore from screaming her name. The weeks after the Normandy's destruction fell into a drunken haze as guilt and heartache gnawed at his insides. Then Cerberus approached him. Needing a pilot. He'd refused at first, Shepard had hated Cerberus. For the loss of fifty good men. For Admiral Kahoku. Then they showed him Shepard's body. They told him that they were trying to revive her. He had to sign up then. He couldn't let her wake up, alone. Getting treatment for his bones was just an added bonus.

"Joker, earth to Joker," Shepard said, shaking her hand in front of his face.

"What," he said shocked.

"I think you should go to bed," Shepard laughed.

He absentmindedly agreed when he was really committing her smile and laugh into his memories.

His hand had moved precisely over the console when he heard heels walking to the bridge. Goddamn Miranda. Trying to get him to take off the hat. Cerberus dress policies can go up her genetically perfect ass. Spinning around he planned to give her a snarky comment.

"Your... oh hey Commander," he said trying not to let his jaw drop.

Holy shit, she looked gorgeous. She was wearing a leather dress that, quoting Donelly, was snug in all the right places.

"I assume everything's going well up here," Shepard said.

Better now.

"How'd that mission with Kasumi go," he said trying not to let his eyes drift down.

It was a task easier said than done.

"Bullshitting and walking in heels, not my forte. Surprised I didn't fall on my ass," Shepard said, "In fact."

She then bent over, giving him a nice view of her breasts, and pulled them off.

"Much better," Shepard said, giving him what looked like a smirk.

Trying to ignore the sudden tightness of his pants he responded coolly, "I can imagine."

Something flickered across her face, "Well I should go,"

"See ya Commander." spinning around to try and attempt to go back to work.

"I assume everything is going well up here," She said pinching the bridge of her nose, eyes shut, her face beet red.

"I fractured my thumb..." he started, staring at her wondering what had gotten her so flustered.

As she walked away he began to think who she'd been talking to. Before she came here she probably went and talked to the rest of the crew as usual. Starting with Jack and moving up the ship. Finally ending with him. So that meant Jacob or Mordin said something that made her act like a school girl. As salarians have little sex drive he was willing to place his bets that it was Jacob. Damn it. He had seen the way that Jacob looked at her. And it hurt him to admit that Jacob had a far better chance to be with her. Even with the tinkering done on his legs. He wouldn't be able to sweep her off her feet any day soon.

Sighing he spun around and went back to work.

All these empty chairs, they were all his fault. If he had just listened to EDI they wouldn't be gone. Once again his stubbornness had caused pain and destruction leaving him mercilessly behind. He heard footsteps heading up towards him he didn't have to turn around to see who it was. He could recognise Shepard walk anywhere. Usually listening for it after every mission waiting for her to visit him. But now he didn't want her to visit, to feel shame at failing her.

"Joker?" Shepard said softly, "Jeff, please look at me."

It was her calling him his real name that caused him to slowly turn around looking at the ground, unable to look her in the eyes. Her lips pressed against his and he froze in shock, unable to recuperate in time to return the feeling. Shepard pulled away with hurt expression on her face.

"Please. Just don't blame yourself." Shepard whispered before leaving.

Joker watched her enter the elevator before it clicked in. Shepard liked him. Then another thought floated into his brain.

Shit.

She thought he didn't feel the same. He scurried out of his chair. He mumbled to EDI to take over, walked over to the elevator, and pressed the button for her quarters. It was in the elevator when he realised he had no clue what to say.

Shit.

What was he going to do, burst in there and confess his undying love for her. Shit, it sounded corny in his head. Before he could get his thoughts together the elevator stopped and the doors slid open. He stiffly walked to her door, pausing a second.
He'd already lost her once, he wasn't willing to let her go now that he knew that she liked him. He pressed the button to go in.

Shit.

He still had no clue what to say.

"Joker?" she said sitting on the edge of her bed looking up, as he noticed her red and puffy eyes.

Shit.

Now he felt like an asshole.

"Hey Shepard... I just... ummmmmmmmmmmm..." holy fucking shit dude, get it together or you'll lose her.

"It's just..." Seriously dude, "I just never would've thought that you felt the same way."

He whispered the last part. The next thing he knew she had walked across the room, threw her arms around his neck, knocking his hat off in the process, and kissed him.

No way was he going to make the same mistake twice. He wrapped his arms around her waist and passionately returned the kiss. They stood there, until Shepard broke away. She slid her hands into his, the sexiest smile on her face, as she led him to the bed and leaned forward for another kiss, hands letting go to explore his body.

He lay on her chest. Head resting on her breasts as he felt Shepard's fingers gently run through his hair. He glanced up to see Shepard smiling sweetly, his hat perched crookedly on her head. She closed the distance for a kiss. It had been about six months since the kiss in the bridge and, Joker mused smiling against her lips, it was totally worth it.

"Credit for your thoughts," Shepard softly said.

"I was just thinking that despite all the shit we had to go through, you're worth it."

"Careful Moreau. Keep complimenting me, and my head will be too big to fit through the door." Shepard jokes.

"I can think of worse situations. I mean, being trapped in a room with a dashing man who happens to be the best pilot in the damn universe," he said, feeling her chest rumble as she chuckled.

"Your head's already too big to fit through the door," she gently prodded him in the chest.

He grabbed her hand and brushed his lips over her knuckles.

"It's just part of my charm," Joker murmured against her hand before letting go.

Shepard just smiled and continued . Joker laid back with a contented sigh. Closing his eyes he cursed the reapers for threatening to take this away from him.

"I love you," Shepard murmured.

He glanced up to Shepard hiding behind the brim of his hat but could see red running down her neck.

"Well that's good. Because I love you too."