It was well after midnight when Scully watched the headlights retreat through the window, the street light across the road streaking a fluorescent glow through the tinted glass. Her fingers toyed with the lace fabric of the curtain before allowing it to fall back to its respective place. With a sigh, Scully pulled her coat closer against her shivering frame and made her way towards the kitchen, where her now cool cup of tea sat lonely on the wooden countertop.
She started to wipe down the benches with a linen cloth. What was she going to tell William? He is going to be so disappointed that Mulder isn't going to make it back in time for them all to open their presents together.
He'd promised that he'd be gone for - at the most - 2 weeks. Including Christmas.
So the days passed quickly with no contact from Mulder. Scully wasn't surprised, not really, but she couldn't stop the twinge of disappointment in her stomach stomping down on the butterflies when she closed her empty inbox.
Scully wasn't the only one who was in a sullen mood, William had been moping about the house since she'd told him that Mulder had to leave for 'an urgent business trip' and she'd focused on putting all of her energy into keeping William's spirits up. But his stubbornness was hereditary, refusing to smile or laugh, the corners of his mouth flickering upwards for a millisecond before drawing his eyebrows together into a scowl once again.
By the end of week one, Scully had resorted to putting on Christmas themed movies in the hopes that at least one of them would bring a smile to his face. Half-way through The Santa Clause, he started to nod off, his forehead colliding with her arm and drooling onto the green fabric of the christmas jumper she was wearing.
She didn't mind. It was Mulder's afteral. She'd donned the material because it smelled like him and she missed him. The ugly print of a cartoon reindeer being abducted with a ufo hovering above it an odd comfort.
She smiled down at William, her stomach riddled in untangable knots of guilt and anger and worry. He mumbled against the crook of her elbow and she smiled softly. But mostly she felt an overwhelming amount of love for the little boy nestled against her.
Scully pressed a palm to the small of William's shoulder until his body shifted and his head tilted back until he was leaning gently against the back of the couch. Now able to move more freely, she scooted forward and reached for the remote on the coffee table to mute the television. The screen was bright and painted the room in a bright blue hue.
Scully slowly stood and turned towards her sleeping son, she gently brushed a few strands of auburn hair away from his eyes. William was a heavy sleeper and didn't seem affected by the gentle caress. After a moment Scully rested her knee on the edge of the couch, one arm sliding under his legs and the other craning his neck in support as she lifted him before re-adjusting his head to rest on her shoulder.
William mumbled in his sleep, one arm now wrapped around her neck, but other than that he was undisturbed by her moving him. Now all she had to was make it up those damn steps in her work heels, cursing Mulder - who usually was the one to carry their son to bed and cursing herself for not taking them off earlier. God, he's heavy.
Early the next morning, on the Friday, William came bounding into the kitchen, nearly bowling over his grandmother just inside the archway.
"Careful, William!" Maggie chastises him.
Scully was taking a sip of her third cup of coffee, quirking her lips at William's embarrassed and slightly bashful gaze. Maggie offered her hand to William asking him if he'd like to help her make some reindeer cookies and his face lit up for the first time since she'd broken the news to him about their changed Christmas plans.
She managed to do some last minute Christmas shopping, grabbing a few items that she'd forgotten to add to her list: mint jelly, the christmas star that had broken and a few items that she'd run out of: cards, cellophane and tape.
Later that night, after an hour of wrapping Scully had just placed a decorative bow on the meticulously wrapped present when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. She not-so-subtly slid the present under her bed, clearly in view when her duvet had been pulled up from the side of the bed. But, she couldn't do much about it now that the door was creaking open.
The younger woman tucked a strand of fiery red hair behind her ear and breathed a sigh of relief when she realised who it was.
"I thought you were the jolly man himself." She said with a laugh.
Maggie shook her head, her lips twitching but not acknowledging the poor joke. Her eyes drifted to the foot of the bed where at least a dozen presents were wrapped in plain view from the now open doorway.
She clicked the door shut before making her way over to her daughter and motioning to the bed.
"May I?"
Scully raised an eyebrow, clearly baffled at her mother's tentativeness.
"Uh… yeah of course."
Scully moved the wrapping paper, scissors and tape aside so that Maggie could settle herself comfortably on the end of her bed.
She regarded her mother with a raised eyebrow, who was surveying her in a very similar demeanour.
"Is everything okay?" Scully asked slowly, "Where's William?"
Maggie tugged on Scully's arm when her daughter stood quickly, quite ready to run from the room and lay eyes on her son.
"He's fine, Dana," She tugged on her arm again, "William is sleeping," and this time Scully allowed her to pull her back down on the edge of the bed.
"What's going on?" Scully demanded.
Maggie cleared her throat before sliding her fingers into the front of her coat pocket and retrieving a small envelope and holding it out to her daughter. Scully hesitated, looking from the letter and back to her mother, confusion clouding her thoughts.
"He wrote a letter."
"He? Mulder?!"
Scully turned the envelope over in her hands but at the very familiar chicken scratch writing, she felt a lump form in her throat: To Santa.
"Oh…" She breathed out.
"William wanted me to address it and send it to Santa."
Turning the envelope back around in her hands, she slid her finger underneath the paper wing and opened it. The blue lined paper was folded over and Scully felt tears begin to prick at her eyes as she read hastily written words, smudges of pencil that showed clear evidence that quite a few tears had fallen whilst her son had written this.
She knew she shouldn't read it but all parents read their kids letters to santa, right?
The tugging of her heartstrings told her otherwise.
santa.
my name is william scully and i am 7 years old
most kids ask for toys and stuff but all i want for christmas is
my dad to come home.
my mum has been sad and shes been crying, i heard her.
i don't want her to be sad.
william
Scully felt a reassuring hand squeeze her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, she crumbled in on herself and covered her eyes, tears streaking black tracks down pale cheeks.
"It's going to be okay, Dana." Her mother soothed her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
Scully hadn't been able to sleep much that night, her mind repeating the words of the letter back to her over and over again. all i want for Christmas is from my dad to come home. She felt sick to her stomach. My mum has been sad and shes been crying. Children aren't supposed to be worrying about these kinds of things.
She rolled over onto her side for what must of been the twentieth time since she climbed into bed and eyed her computer sitting on the hardwood desk in the corner.
This was gnawing away at her insides - she had to do something. Huffing out an exasperated sigh, she made a split-second decision.
Sitting albeit impatiently in her computer chair, she tapped her fingers against the desk as it began to hum to life, taking it's sweet time to start up. Finally, finally, she was able to sign in and connect to the internet. She brought up her emails and not surprisingly there still wasn't an email from Mulder.
Opening a new message, she began typing wildly, furiously, her frustration boiling over. If anybody looked at her now she wouldn't be surprised if there was steam coming out of her ears.
I know you need to do this... to follow these leads that seem to almost always lead us nowhere. But William needs you, I need you.
Please come home,
Dana.
p.s: he asked santa to bring you home for christmas.
Scully's fingers twitched above the keyboard while she read and re-read what she had wrote. It was short, straightforward and got to the point.
Her eyes darted to the corner of the computer screen to check the time: 3:08am. She cursed silently under her breath. It was late, that would have to do. She clicked the send button before she could dwell on it any longer.
The last few days leading up to Christmas were intense. She hadn't heard back from Mulder and that had fuelled her worry and frustration to an intense 8 out of 10. She knew if something bad had happened to him that she would of heard about it by now, probably. But still, no amount of reasoning could get her to think logically when it came to Mulder.
So her emotions kept bouncing between worry and irritability concerning the man who held her heart.
On the Saturday, her mother's Christmas dinner went off without a hitch, a few close relatives and their kids talking animatedly whilst Scully stared forlornly into her wine glass.
"How are you doing, Dana?" Father McCue asked.
Scully's fingers traced the stem of her wine glass as she tried to piece together her thoughts well enough to form a coherent sentence. It was the holiday season, nobody wanted to know you're not having a good time. You pasted on a smile, complimented the host and drank eggnog whilst playing asinine holiday themed games.
"I'm doing fine, thank you Father McCue," She answered with a small smile and a shrug of her shoulders.
Scully raised the crystal to her lips and took a hearty sip of the red liquid before turning to focus her attention on Father McCue.
"How's the church?"
The rest of the evening was spent in continual, meaningless, pointless conversations and Scully could feel it starting to take a toll on her. Usually having Mulder there as a buffer meant she could take breaks from the incessant chatter but at least she had William to check in on every now and again and that appeased the crawling ache in her chest.
It was Christmas Eve, finally.
She knew that when a tiny ball of excitement jumped up and down on her bed shrieking.
"It's Chris'mas eve!" William squealed, "Eve! Eve! Eve!" He chanted
Scully would of rolled her eyes if she wasn't so pleased to see William with a wide smile on his lips and bright sparkling eyes filled with barely contained excitement. She had been worried for a moment there. Okay, maybe two moments.
And though, she knew that Mulder wouldn't be turning up until at least Thursday she was happy that she got to spend the holidays with at least one of her two favourite boys in the world.
As William continued to bounce across her mattress, she flung the covers off and reached for the squirming seven year old and trapped him in a tight embrace.
"Noo!" He wailed, though the wide smile on his face proved otherwise.
Scully chuckled, pulling him down so that she could snuggle him close to her chest. He wiggled to try and get out of her embrace for a good 30 seconds before breathing out an exaggerated sigh and relaxing in her arms.
"What have you been inhaling this morning? A bowl of sugar?"
A figure walked through her open door way at that exact moment with a chuckle, "Might as well have." Maggie pointed at her grandson who hid his face in the crook of Scully's shoulder.
"He raided the Christmas cookies."
Scully let out a faux gasp as though she were shocked to her very core.
"What?! Not the cookies!" She placed her palm against her forehead in mock shock, "What ever shall we do now?"
Maggie clucked her tongue at her daughter in disapproval when William giggled from the safety of Scully's arms.
"Really, Dana? I suppose you don't want coffee after all."
Scully's eyes widened at the slight threat in her mother's words.
"I...I mean-" She sputtered as Maggie stood there with her arms crossed and her eyebrow raised in amusement.
Scully's eyes darted between her mother and the door to her bedroom. There was a pregnant pause and then- releasing her son she dashed towards the door with all the grace of a newborn fawn.
"He's all yours!" She called as she stumbled through the doorway and made her escape to the kitchen.
Maggie rolled her eyes at her daughter's child-like behaviour. "She spends too much time around your father."
William laughed as he crawled underneath the covers, his grin half covered by the duvet.
Scully, William and Maggie spent most of the day re-making the cookies. Maggie kept a hawk-eye on her grandson the whole time, and then her daughter when she caught her sneaking William a cookie on the sly.
She shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips as she turned back to her tea and pretended that she hadn't caught them with their hands in the cookie jar.
Maggie left Scully and William sometime after lunch to make her way to the afternoon Mass, so that she could deliver some of the treats that they'd made. She pressed a kiss to William's head and squeezed her daughter's hand before pressing a kiss to her cheek.
"Are you sure you don't want to attend the Mass, Dana? I'm sure everybody would love to see you and William." She prodded, concerned lines pulling between her brows.
"I'm sure." She replied as William scurried off to his room.
Scully took a step closer towards her mother and spoke quieter, her voice almost a whisper.
"Really. It's fine. You can go...thank you." She said sincerely.
Maggie nodded, releasing the grip on Scully's hands before reaching for the platters that were laid out on the table and making her way out the open doorway.
Scully leaned against the door-frame until the car disappeared from her sight and she let out a quiet breath that she hadn't even realised she'd been holding in. She clicked the door shut and locked it, just in case, and made her way upstairs to check on William.
She didn't feel as safe, as secure, when Mulder wasn't around. She knew how to defend herself and protect her family - past circumstances have proven that. But, the comfort of having him near her felt like a different kind of security that she hadn't even realised she needed - craved, until he wasn't able to give that to her.
She dozed off on the couch in the living room for a few hours after having to replace some christmas lights that had started to short out - the room flickering inconsistently in fluorescent lights. She was fairly sure neither of them were epileptic but she didn't want to take any chances.
Then, she was falling, falling and she couldn't- no, she was drowning. She couldn't breathe, the harsh force of the waves were pulling her under. She couldn't breathe. Her foot got caught between two rocks - digging painfully into the skin of her heel, the waves were still pummelling down against her, she was shaking, shaking. She could hear William calling out to her…
Mum!
Her eyes fluttered shut and the darkness claimed her.
"Wake up!" Scully was still being shaken. "Mum! Wake up!" The voice repeated.
Her eyes shot open and she took a deep breath, as though she were being starved of oxygen. Her lungs were burning, her eyes were watering. She turned her head, eyes darting around the corners of the room to try and access her surroundings.
William's wide concerned eyes were watching her, biting down on his thumb as he shifted from one foot to another.
She let out a breath. She was home.
William looked at her quizzically as he moved to sit on the corner of the couch.
"Are you okay?" He asked quietly.
She forced a smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes, tucking an errant strand behind her ear.
"I'm okay."
His eyebrows raised as though he didn't believe her.
"Really," She attempted to reassure him, "It was just a bad dream."
Scully pressed an open palm to the side of his face, her finger sweeping across his cheekbone before pressing her forehead against his. William nodded, his forehead gently nudging hers.
Pulling away from the warmth of her embrace, William laughed when Scully's stomach grumbled.
"I think your tummy is trying to tell you something."
Scully flashed him a grin, a laugh falling from her lips as well, "Yeah. I think so too."
William set the table whilst Scully busied herself in the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of red as she waited for the water on the stove to boil. She decided on peperonata pasta, it was quick and easy and they would be sitting down to eat in under 20 minutes.
She poured William a glass of water before settling down in her respective seat at the dinner table.
Her heart stuttered in her chest.
He'd set the table like he usually did - with 3 place sets. She bit down on her lip, averting her gaze from where Mulder usually sat down on her right side and took a heady sip of her drink.
Dinner was mostly silent, both Scully's casting their gazes at the current absentees chair every now and again. It wasn't uncomfortable but it didn't feel like home. Something was missing. A very important something. A very important someone.
Scully cleared the table and filled the sink to get started on the washing up. She quickly darted to the lounge room to setup a movie for William to watch before returning to the kitchen.
She lost herself within the methodical pace of washing the dishes, it was calming in a way, she didn't have to think too much. The same method over and over again. Dip, wash, rinse, repeat. Altering the style depending on the size.
Her mind started to wander. Where was Mulder, right now? Was he thinking of them? She looked out the window over the sink and gazed at the twinkling stars. Was he looking at the same stars she was at this very moment?
She shook her head. "Don't be stupid" She muttered to herself.
Scully retrieved the plug from the sink and started to dry the dishes with a dish towel. She continued drying the dishes and put them away in the cabinet. She then started to wipe down the benches and the table, arranging the items that had been moved about during the day. There was a lot more of a mess than normal: flour in the cracks of the bench, coffee stains on the table, chocolate melted on the stove top.
Once Scully was happy with the end result, she made her way through the archway and towards the lounge room. She must of gotten caught up because it looked like William was nearly at the end of the movie she'd set up.
"Do you want a hot chocolate?" She asked, resting her arms against the back of the couch.
William's eyes were glued to the screen, sitting right on the edge of his seat.
"What? Uh...no. I'm good. Thanks."
She rolled her eyes but couldn't contain the small smile from flickering across her lips.
"Don't sit too close to the television."
"I won't."
Scully went upstairs and started organising the presents into different sections. She had the presents that they would open at home, the presents she would be taking to her mother's when she saw Bill, Tara and Matthew. Long distant relatives that she forgot to send greetings cards to. Her present for Skinner. Mulder's present.
Her fingers traced the simple silver wrapping paper, fingers caressing the corners of the present as she looked for wear and tear marks. There weren't any. She made a small noise of contentment before turning towards the greeting cards pile that she'd forgotten about.
So, maybe some of her relatives would be giving her the cold shoulder for the first few months of the year because she sent out late cards. She was used to that kind of treatment at work lately, anyway.
After an hour, her wrist started to throb and she heard a knock on her bedroom door.
She stood up quickly and made her way over just as the door opened, the hinges creaked as she held the door with her left hand and leaned against the door frame with her right, blocking most of her room from sight.
"Hey honey, what's wrong?" She asked.
She was a little nervous, usually Mulder helped her with the hiding of the presents (she wouldn't let him set his hands on the wrapping paper though...what a tragedy that would be) - so she was kind of out of her element a little bit.
"Nothing." William shrugged, stifling a yawn with the back of his hand. "I watched a few movies but I think I'm going to go read."
Scully nodded, reaching out caressing his cheek briefly before he pulled away and started to trudge down the hallway.
"Don't stay up too late!" She called after him.
The only answer back she got way a slight grumble before his door clicked shut behind him.
How was it her seven year old had such an attitude already? She shuddered to think of what the teenage years would entail.
Scully made her way outside her bedroom and clicked on the hallway light, making her way downstairs and pouring herself another glass of wine. She took a hearty sip and sighed quietly to nothing and nobody in particular.
It had been a rough couple of days, she'd admit that, she may have not planned as well as she was capable of but she had been thoroughly distracted these last few weeks. Nothing but taking care of her son and thinking about Mulder, everything else being put on the back burners.
She sat at the kitchen table for a little while, fingers toying with the ring of condensation at the bottom of her glass before she begrudgingly made her way back up the stairs with a fresh glass of wine to finish what she'd started.
It was late now. She'd stopped at three glasses of wine over the progression of the night, needing to keep her wits about her. The last thing she needed was to write sloppy inebriated happy holidays on the cards.
Scully heard a door shut and her head whipped up at the sound, dropping her pen to the desk with a clatter. She stood still for a moment, waiting, when she didn't hear anything for a few minutes she moved closer to her bedroom door.
She silently cursed under her breath. Her gun was in the safe downstairs.
Creak.
Creak.
She felt gooseflesh appear on the back on her neck and across her arms as she became hyper aware of her surroundings. It felt like there were loose wires tangling in her stomach. She could do this. You know your goddamn house better than any intruder.
Releasing the breath she'd been holding in, Scully slowly turned the doorknob on her door and pushed it open, she stopped it just before the point where the hinges would squeak.
She sidled her way through the small space and tiptoed the small distance to William's room to check on him. Scully breathed a sigh of relief after she'd opened the door quietly and saw that he was snoring slightly, undisturbed.
Closing the door, Scully turned around and made her way back in the direction of her bedroom and towards the stairs. The hallway light was dimmed but most of the lights were off downstairs except for the bathroom and the kitchen. She made sure to avoid certain steps that would alert their intruder to her presence and stuck to the shadows.
It took her about 20 minutes to investigate every room in the house only to discover that she must of been imagining the noises. She sighed in frustration, wiping at the beads of sweat resting against her collarbone.
Paranoid.
Standing in front of the Christmas tree, the lights were dancing against the walls of the room. Scully followed the flickering patterns with a soft smile, enjoying the serenity of the moment.
"Mulder, you must be rubbing off on me." She muttered.
"Well, not yet."
Scully whipped around at the sound of the quiet voice behind her, the large figure took a step forward, almost closing the distance between them when she elbowed him in the solar plexus - knocking him backwards and off balance before sweeping her leg underneath him and causing his knees to buckle and crash to the floor landing on his back.
With swift movement, Scully straddled...Santa Claus?
Scully made sure that the man's movements were constricted by the grip she held his wrists above his head and against the floor. But, quirked an eyebrow in confusion when she felt a chuckle from beneath her, his body shaking in quiet laughter.
"Oh God, Scully." He sighed, "I should have known better."
Wait...she knew that voice.
She removed one hand and pressed the other against both wrists before she leaned forward in the semi-darkness and pulled at the beard gently, a shocked expression appearing across her features briefly when it was evident that it was fake.
She snapped the beard back into place and released her hold on Mulder's wrists before shoving his shoulders hard, she heard the slight thump of his back connecting with the ground and a small smug smile flickered across her lips at the action.
"You asshole!" She hissed quietly.
Mulder chucked again as she stood up and followed her movements, his back already beginning to throb and definitely not in the good way.
Scully pulled her nightgown closer as a chill breeze flowed through one of the screened windows. Mulder moved closer and despite being furious with him, she couldn't help but gravitate towards the warmth of him behind her.
"Where did you get the costume?" She murmured quietly.
Mulder gently traced the point of Scully's elbow as another breeze flowed through the window and Scully's scent invaded his nostrils. It was a welcome intrusion.
"Someone owed me a favour."
She turned to face him, pressing her body closer to the warmth of his, gently cupping his cheek.
"What are you doing here?" She asked Mulder quietly.
Mulder traced the shell of her ear with this thumb before sliding his fingers against the back of her neck and into the mess of locks there.
"Someone needed me."
His hand traced the small of her back, warmth bleeding through the fabric of her nightgown as she slowly closed the small distance between them and gently pressed her lips to his. Their kiss was slow and languid until his hand dug against her waist causing a moan to escape from slightly parted lips.
Mulder's tongue darted into the willing cavern of Scully's mouth and she sagged in his arms briefly, before turning him and pushing him backwards, the thrumming between her legs fuelling her more than her mind. Scully moved closer to him, framing his face with both of her hands as she gently bit against Mulder's enticing lower lip, sucking it into her mouth greedily when there was a loud crash!
Mulder's back had collided with the Christmas tree and sent it flying, as the tree came crashing to the ground Scully lost her footing and toppled on top of Mulder.
The two agents entangled together laughed, their chests still heaving and their legs entangled. It was the lightest she'd felt in weeks and from the flush travelling across Mulder's face, she dare say it's the lightest he's felt too.
"Mum? Why are you on top of Santa Claus?"