Title: I miss you
Author: Esther (mevidal@wanadoo.es)
Classification: Angst
Archive: It you want. I'll love it
Disclaimer: English it's not my first language. X-men and all the
characters belong to Marvel and 20th Century Fox .
Feedback: Please!
THANKS: To Ebony for her Beta. Thanks you very much.
Summary: Scott come back to the school 3 years after of the Jean's death
and remember how much he miss her.
I MISS YOU
I slide my fingers over the cold door's handle. I don't really want to come in
there but a part of me pushes me to do it. I open the door slowly and I can
hear the old hinges squeaking, like in those old horror films that we used to
watch. I turn on the light. Everything as we left them. The professor didn't
want to change anything and I understand it. This is like a small sanctuary. Your
dressing table is still there with all your things as you left them, Your
golden brush, your make-up and a photo of both of us together. God! How much I
miss you. I touch your face on the picture and I cannot help asking myself
where you'll be now, Jean and although you know that I never was very
religious, I try to think whether a heaven really exists I'm sure that you'll be
there.
The time goes on, but this fact doesn't mean that I forgot you not even for a
moment. You always have been the best thing in my life. Only when I saw your
face I begin to think that life was not so bad. Only when I listened to your
laughter did I smile. Only when I looked into your eyes all my suffering
disappeared. I thought that hearing your breathing made me live, and if that
was really true, why am not I with you now?.
I miss you so. It always had been so much that I wanted to tell you. So many
things and places that I would like show you, but we always thought there would
be enough time of that. It's as if we thought we would live forever, but
nothing is so long. There was a time when I believed that, yes. I believed that
you and I would be together to all the eternity... but you are not here with
me. I take your picture and hold it tight, it's not the same as holding you but
it's the only thing that I have from you. Why couldn't I save you, Jean? Why
could not I save all you?
I wander through the corridors of the mansion until I enter one of our old
classrooms, I place your portrait on the table and I sit down where I used to
when I was one of the students. Towards 3 years since the last time that I was
here. I almost have the hope of seeing you appear running through the
door and apologizing for arriving late. But I know that it isn't
possible. I still remember the sound of your voice calling my name, your
precious smile, your wonderful green eyes, you long red-hair waved by the air
and your sweet scent. Do you know something, Jean?. I'll never stop loving
you.
The end