Chapter One: Very Real
He's standing there— this big man, with the shaggy blonde hair. He's staring at me, like he does every night.
Kathleen. He whispers, but his mouth doesn't move. But I know its him. I always know its him. He reaches forward a hand for me, and I instantly want to take it, to let him tug me to him. I don't know why. I don't know him, yet I've seen him every night for days, weeks, months maybe. All the time. He stands there, it's raining, and he's waiting for me.
Kathleen, come to me. He tells me again. I take a step, but stop. Something inside me resists the pull he radiates. Resists him. I stumbled back, but something stops me then too. Its like I'm caged in, staring at him, not able to go to him but not able to move away.
He steps towards me, and the fluttering in my stomach intensifies. I know what he'll say next, what he always says. He always gets so close, so deliciously close, then stops. He always looks so sadly at me, just a few paces away, and shakes his head, his hand dropped. 'You're not ready yet'. He always says.
I wait for that. I wait for him to say those words, break my heart but release me at the same time, as he does every night.
But, he does something strange. He gets closer to me. Closer, closer. There's barely any room between us any more. He bends his light head towards me, over me at his great height. My breath catches as he reaches for my face tenderly with his chunky fingers. He breathes— I can feel it on my face. Sweet smelling breath. He gently strokes my thick dark hair, curls it around his fingers, and tucks it away behind my ear. I don't know what to do. This is like the first night of this dream all over again. I don't know what he'll do next— the thought both excites me and frightens me.
His head leans even closer.
"My darling," He murmurs, breath fanning my lips. His lips move now, something they've never done before. "You're ready. I'm coming for you."
He jerks suddenly, a sudden movement, then rough lips are pressed urgently against my own and his large hands have circled my head and he's holding onto me like he'll never let me go, never ever.
Kathleen, Kathleen, Kathle, Kathle, Kath, Kath, Kat, Kat, Kate, Kate, Katie...
-0-
"KATIE!"
"What, whoa!" I suddenly jerk awake, almost head butting my room-mate and best friend as I did so. Sophie stood back, crossed her arms over her chest, and glared at me. I glared back at her and scrambled to sit up in bed, wrapping my covers around my body to keep the heat in. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Sophie glared even more intensly, but something flickered behind her eyes that made me stop from going off on one. Was that worry?
"Oh, I'm sorry." Sophie rolled her eyes as she bit out her words sarcastically. "Did I disturb you? Well, you know what? You disturbed me! You were screaming, and crying and thrashing again!"
I scraped a clawed hand over my face exhaustedly, not having the energy to argue with her. What time was it anyway?
"I'm sorry." I mumbled through my hand, my head hanging as I tried to force all weird, creepy dreams out of my head.
Sophie's face softened (not an easy thing to do, let me assure you, because my best friend was a hard as nails soon-to-be lawyer). She sat down on the edge of my bed and reached to take my hand.
"Oh, baby." She murmured sympathetically. "Was it that weird-as dream again?"
"Yeah." I looked up at her, looked her straight in her caramel flecked eyes, and sighed helplessly. "I dunno whats wrong with me, Sophie. What does this dream mean?"
Sophie shrugged.
"Probably nothing. And if it does mean anything, it means you need a guy."
Instantly, my whole body rejected that idea. Having brought up in a household that was wholly feminist (my dad sometimes more so then my mum), the idea that I would need a guy to make me happy did not sit well with me. I was twenty, for gods sake! Why would I need a guy? I had my whole life ahead of me for that kind of crap.
"No, I don't." I pushed my covers away and shivered as the cold Scottish air hit me. "Did you leave the window open over night again?"
Sophie, my mildly Scottish best friend, and I both went to Edinburgh university, me to study English Literature and Sophie to study law. Sophie was a year older than me and we'd been best friends since we were kids despite the fact that she lived on the little Scottish Orkney Islands and I lived in Manchester, Britain. We'd kept in contact via the wonderful world of modern technology and now couldn't be happier as we lived together in our tiny, totally over priced little Edinburgh flat.
She gave me a look.
"Yes, and don't change the subject. C'mon, Katie, you haven't had a boyfriend in forever. Literally."
She followed me as I went into our tiny kitchenette to turn on the kettle.
"One, I'm offended that before you woke me up you didn't think to make me coffee, and, two, I'm too fat for a boyfriend."
"For fucks sake!" Sophie went to grab some bread and stick it in the toaster, rolling her eyes as she did so. "I'm sorry I didn't make you a coffee, and you're not freaking fat! You're curvy."
I glared at her.
"Fat."
"Curvy."
"Fat."
"Curvy."
I lifted the butter knife at her threateningly as I passed her the butter to prepare for when the toast was ready.
"We're not having this argument again."
The kettle was starting to whistle.
"If you'd just admit you weren't fat we wouldn't have too." Sophie sang under her breath.
I chose, politely I thought, to ignore her and carry on with preparations for breakfast. The goosebumps on my skin pricked and I chaffed at my arms to get warm.
"You really need to start buying a dressing gown and some slippers." Said the already dressed and ready for work so therefore warm Sophie.
"I don't have time to do that." The kettle clicked, signalling it was coffee time. I picked up our chipped mugs and spooned coffee granules into the bottom of them before adding the hot water. I looked up at Sophie. "Is it a court day today?"
Sophie nodded the affirmative. Whenever she had practised days at court she always had black coffee— whenever she didn't she always had her coffee with milk.
I passed her her coffee before adding milk to mine and sipping at it.
"You do so have time to go buy stuff." Sophie turned back to our conversation. "For instance, you don't have work or uni today. So go buy yourself some warm stuff."
I eyeballed her.
"I have no money."
"You just got paid and my parents sent some money over to us at the weekend. You know that money is for shares-ys, so yes, you do have money. Unless you're planning on picking up something else to keep you warm." She added slyly as the toast popped up.
I squealed at her.
"Shut up! Not this again. I do not need a guy."
"Neither do I, certainly not to keep me or anything. However, a guy is always good when you're trying to keep warm. Or have sex."
She giggled and I lent over to flick her shoulder.
"I do not have sex. Don't you remember— grand 20 year old virgin here?" I demanded as if I was proud of that fact. I wasn't. "I don't need a guy so thats final."
"I'd argue," Sophie passed me a piece of thickly buttered toast. "But if I do I'm going to be late. So we'll continue this when I get home. And then we're going out for drinks. Plural." She kissed me fleetingly on the cheek, tottering in her legal heels towards the door with toast shoved into her mouth. She scooped up her brief case from the sofa and waved over her shoulder at me. "Don't forget to pick up a dressing gown and slippers! Oh, and we need some more toilet roll and food! Love you!"
As the door slammed shut behind her, the silence in the flat echoed around me. I was left to my own thoughts as I chomped on my toast and sipped on my coffee. The man from my dreams once again appeared in my thoughts. His broad, thickly muscled body. His intense eyes. His long hair, long enough to twine my fingers in it...
Stop.
I took a deep breath and brought myself back down to earth. Stop. That was stupid. Fantasying about a dream guy! Maybe Sophie was right— maybe I did need to finally get laid. Adam from university had (according to Sophie) been panting after me for a while. Maybe he was into fat chicks. And I certainly needed to get out of my slump.
Quickly, as I went to get dressed, I texted Adam: Feel like going 4 lunch 2day?
Almost instantly, as I pulled on my underwear, Adams response came: Sure! When + where?
Oops. I panicked for a moment. Did I really want to do this? I took another deep breath as I pulled on my jeans. Yes, yes I did. After all, it was only lunch! I wouldn't have to sleep with the guy if I didn't want to, right?
½ an hour, Princes Street? The pub near Primark?
Adam: I'll be there.
Thrilled with my own initiative, I pulled on what I deemed to be an appropriately sexy, yet warm top which still concealed most of my unattractive lumps and bumps (no item of clothing in the world could conceal them all) and a jumper over the top. I packed my keys and my phone, drained my coffee, brushed my teeth and closed the door with a deliberate slam. I was pleased with myself, and slightly excited. Finally I was taking charge and going on a fucking date!
I ran down the steps and opened the door, stepping out into the fresh, crisp, cool air and breathing in deeply.
"Kathleen." A deep voice boomed.
I spun around. And faced the man of my dreams.
-0-
"Kathleen, you must stop running from me!" The deep booming voice kept following me, even though I was very quickly darting in between the crowd, desperately trying to loose him.
"Kathleen, I know you can hear me!" He declared again. Dear god, was he getting closer?! Should I yell for help? Did I need help? Call the police? And what would I tell them?
The man from my dreams has suddenly come to life! Arrest him, officer!
Oh, yeah, because that would go down sooo well. All the same, what the fuck was I going to do? I glanced over my shoulder and eeped. He was getting closer, him and his ridiculously out of place clothes.
"Kathleen!" He boomed again. "Stop!"
"Go away!" I called over my shoulder, not daring to look at him again. "I don't know you, fuck off!"
"Do not speak to me this way!" He boomed. "And do not lie. You do know me!"
Why was nobody paying attention to us? Everybody seemed contented to continue about with their day as if they couldn't see or hear us. Oh, but wait, some people were giving us annoyed looks. Oh, well I'm sorry if I'm ruining your near midday stroll along Princes street. Don't mind me, I'm just being stalked by my own fucking dream.
Okay, even my thoughts were starting to sound a bit hysterical. Quickly, Katie, calm. Think. You have to loose him. This has got to be a joke or something. Sophie told somebody about your dream and they're playing a joke on you. Thats got to be it.
"Kathleen!" He boomed again and I almost shit myself.
If this is a joke how did they manage to get him to sound the exact same as in my dream? And look the same?
Shut up logic! Whose side are you on, anyway?
Suddenly, I spotted a side ally. I didn't dare look behind me, just darted down it and hoped he hadn't spotted me. These side allies existed all over the city— how in the hell had I picked the one that had a dead end?
"Kathleen!"
He stood, like an avenging god, at the top of the ally, whilst I had myself pressed against the wall at the very end. This was not fun. Not fun at all.
He strode down towards me, his footsteps heavy and thumping.
"Kathleen," His voice had softened now he was close to me again. "Dearest Kathleen."
Now, we just stared at each other, like we did in my dream. Then, like the last one, he reached forward to stroke my hair and tug it back behind my ear. I froze. What was the correct protocol for things like this? Had this ever happened to anybody before.
"Just as soft as I remember." He murmured. "Darling Kathleen— you do know me. Why do you run from me?"
I was not going to whimper. I was a big girl, for crying out loud! (in more ways then one). I was not going to whimper in front of him.
"Most people would run if their dreams suddenly came to life." I whispered, looking him straight in the eye. "Especially if their dreams were you."
He frowned, like he didn't understand. Then, his face cleared.
"I understand your dilemma." He stated.
"Do you? Great." What the fuck was I saying?! "Always good when a dream from your own mind understands what your dilemma is."
He chuckled, a rumbling chuckle, and shook his head.
"No, darling. I am not a dream. I have entered your dreams, every time you sleep for a while now, but I am not a dream. I am very real."
Well, I could see that. The muscles, the eyes and the hair...Jesus. Sophie would know what to do, because I certainly didn't. I was a bit spell bound by him, if I was honest. He was winding a spell around me, a spell I didn't want to get out of despite what my brain was telling me.
Jesus, its going to turn out that he is a vampire and this is going to be fucking twilight all over again.
"You're not a vampire, are you?" I blurted out, suddenly, then clapped my hand to my mouth.
He didn't chuckle this time. He laughed, a great big, booming laugh.
"No, Kathleen. I am not a vampire. I am Thor, a type of God. Lord Of Asguard."
"Well," I murmured faintly. "Lucky for you."
"I have been to your world many times. I once saved it in New York. I was with one of your Scientists for a while, though she had to leave...we didn't exactly work out well." He now frowned down at me. He was crowding my space, leaving me almost no room to breathe, and I pressed back against the wall. "Are you telling me you've never heard of me?"
I remembered Sophie saying something about Gods and weird American technological advancements that had wrecked New York once, but it was all a bit hazy and vague.
"I don't really watch the news." I confessed. "Sorry. I'm more into books."
Why was I telling him this?!
He chuckled and stepped even closer, if that was possible.
"My darling, I know. I know most things about you. Apart from..." He frowned again. "Why you came out today. You were not intending on before, when I visited you in your dream. Why are you out?"
"Um.." Why was this so bizarre, yet so normal for me? "I came out to meet somebody. For lunch."
"Who?" His eyes sharpened. "Sophie?"
"How the hell do you know Sophie?" I demanded. I wasn't sure I liked him knowing everything about me, when I hardly knew anything about him.
"I have been in your mind, dearest one. Though, since it makes you so very angry, if you come with me now I won't ever have to go into your mind again unless you wish it or it is very urgent for me to do so." He placed two meaty hands on the brick wall either side of my head, effectively closing me in. Then he smirked wickedly. "Now, who were you going to lunch with?"
Okay, now I couldn't think. Stupid, stupid God. Stupid Thor. Stupid perfection.
STUPID!
"Um, Adam." I replied dazedly. "I was going to lunch with Adam."
His playful expression faded instantly, replaced with one of a deep, dark, instant rage.
"Adam?" His voice was deceptively quiet. "Adam, who has been asking to court you for many months now?"
I blinked at the sudden change of pace. I was so confused and my head was starting to hurt.
"Well, I wouldn't say court..."
"YOU MUST NOT GO TO LUNCH WITH HIM, KATHLEEN!" Thor suddenly bellowed.
I winced and jerked back. He softened his tone once more.
"No, you must not." He tone was still very firm. "I will not allow it."
Uh oh, here came feminist Katie. Mentally, I ducked and covered.
"Who are you to allow me or not allow me to go to lunch with somebody?" I demanded. "Its nothing to do with you, I don't even know you for Pete's sake and yes, you may be all that is hot and sexy in this world but that does not give you the right to order me around, you got that?!"
He blinked, as if he hadn't expected that of me. Frankly, if he hadn't, he clearly hadn't been paying very close attention to my character.
"You do not know me yet." He started slowly. "But you will. We are meant to be together, Kathleen."
"My name." I ground out, ignoring his words which sent a tiny flutter through my stomach. "Is Katie. I hate the name Kathleen. And we do not belong together because A) I am clearly not your type and B) I don't even know you."
He opened his mouth— probably to proceed with another jackass overly possessive comment— when over head thunder clouds suddenly formed. His face set grimly and he looked down on me once more.
"We will address your issues when we get to Asguard." He finally told me, clearly making an effort to be calm.
"Hold up, what? I'm not going to Asguard, wherever that may be! I have a life here! Friends! Family! Sophie, my parents...I can't just up and leave because you tell me too!"
He suddenly reached down and yanked me into his arms bridal style, which couldn't have been easy considering how completely unskinny and unlight I was.
"I'm afraid you're going to have too." He told me grimly. "Do not worry, though. Sophie will soon join you, and you will be happy in Asguard."
His arms tightened around me. I felt a sudden wind, then I felt like I was flying, and I was scared so I squeezed my eyes shut. I clutched his shoulders. Buried my head in his neck. And held on for dear life.