How To Survive A Horror Movie
Make sure you stay in a group.
Take a buddy if you have to use the restroom. Not of the opposite sex though.
Speaking of that, never have sex in a horror movie.
Don't be blond.
Don't be a jock.
Don't be the nerd.
Don't be the funny guy.
If you are one of the above, I'm so sorry, you're dead.
If you hear suspenseful music, run.
10. When you do run, never, I repeat NEVER look back.
11. Showers are prohibited
12. Make sure you have a flashlight that works.
13. Make sure you have batteries.
14. Make sure you have a cell phone with excellent reception
15. Make sure your cell phone is charged.
16. Make sure you have training in the army.
17. Make sure you are skilled in the martial arts.
18. Make sure you have a private armory.
19. Don't grab the banana. Grab the knife.
20. Bring a friend who is slower than you.
21. Shove the above down. Sure you will feel guilty but hey, you live for an extra minute.
22. Make certain that you are not related to any psychopathic killers that have escaped.
23. Don't go near an abandoned kids camp
24. Stay away from boiler rooms.
25. Stay away from motels with the name Bates
25. Stay away from psychopathic killer's childhood home
26. Help the ugly kid from drowning.
27. Stay away from anyone who wears masks.
28. When you watch a certain movie, DON'T answer the phone.
29. Don't say, "Nothing can possibly get any worse."
30. Don't say, "There's nothing to fear."
31. Make sure you have an extra tire filed with air.
32. Don't drink.
33. Don't do drugs.
34. Don't go to the mansion if you have a flat.
33. If you hear the song "Time Warp" RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!
34. The virgin ALWAYS survives.