Title: I'm Counting The Breaths Until Daylight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,000+
Characters: Jason/Reyna
Summary: She could really use something calming right about now.
Note: It's inconsistent with the ending of the book on purpose because this is what my impenetrable bubble of fluffy, shipping feels cooked up. This is also why it's best if I don't write real books. Everything would be much too romantic and happy-go-lucky.
I'm Counting The Breaths Until Daylight
Reyna gets antsy when she's nervous.
Most people find it intimidating. She has no idea why, unless they're just under the impression that she's constantly plotting or devising plans of attack. Jason, however, would always say that she'd make herself dizzy or carve a moat into the path she walked whenever she started to pace. She used to think he just never took her seriously.
It wasn't until he disappeared and wasn't there to tell her those things anymore that she realized he was just trying to calm her.
She could really use something calming right about now.
She'd tried her best to delay the attack on Camp Half-Blood without tipping it off to anyone that she was doing so, but they're all terribly Roman. They're stubborn and proud, and there was only so much she could do until they were marching up to Half-Blood Hill.
"You're going to pass out if you keep moving."
Her eyes flicker onto the girl with brown eyes and bright petals in her dark hair. She remembers seeing her, briefly, on the battlefield. Had they met differently, Reyna wouldn't have thought much of her. But she had to admit the girl's use of poison ivy vines to completely immobilize them was an impressive substitute for her apparent lack of skill with weapons.
"I'll be fine," Reyna mutters, though she's mostly trying to convince herself of that right now.
She's been held up in the stables for hours now. She has no idea what conditions her campers are in since the Greek campers separated her from them, which she assumes may be because she is praetor, but she hasn't seen Octavian once since they brought her here.
"You have a pretty bad wound." It's hard to feel like Reyna is just imagining the concern in her voice. "You'll start bleeding again if you keep walking around."
Reyna laughs hollowly. It's ironic that even in captivity the Greeks are still compassionate to the Romans that tried to destroy their camp.
The girl opens her mouth, about to say something when a voice calls out, "Katie!" and she blinks in surprise, standing from the bench as a tall, skinny boy with a mop of curly, brown hair jogs up to her. His blue eyes are dark in the light burning from the torch, and Reyna hates that she immediately thinks of Jason's brighter blue eyes when she sees them.
"Travis," Katie exhales in obvious relief, throwing her arms around him.
Travis hugs her back tightly. Reyna tries to look away, but finds that she can't. "I've been looking for you."
Katie pulls away and shoves his shoulder. It's not a particularly hard shove, but Travis winces anyway. "I knew you were hurt! Travis Stoll, I can't believe you charged into battle like that! You could've gotten yourself killed!"
The look on Travis's face could only be considered endearing. "They were attacking Camp, Katie. I had to give it my all!"
"You couldn't have given it your all with a little more tact?"
"Katie—"
"Later." She casts a glance at Reyna, as if just remembering they weren't alone. "Did you come here for something, other than finally letting me know you were okay?"
"Yeah," Travis says, and then he's looking at Reyna, too. (She resists the urge to roll her eyes.) "We're both needed in the Big House."
"But what about—"
"She won't escape. She's injured and unarmed, and there are campers all over the place to intercept her if she tries."
Reyna bit her tongue to keep from saying something she'd probably regret. She had nearly betrayed her own friends in an attempt to salvage a possibility of peace between their two camps. She didn't need all of that effort to go to waste because of her attitude.
Katie nods and looks at Reyna again, the concern back in her eyes. Reyna wasn't used to people looking at her like that, wondering how she was doing.
So she turns away and continues pacing, listening to the sound of their footsteps on the dirt as they're walking away. She closes her eyes, attempting to collect her thoughts, but barely even a minute after they're gone she can hear another set of footsteps as someone is making their way over to her.
"Reyna?"
She stops her pacing, head snapping up.
"Percy," she breathes.
He pulls open the door, stepping into her stable and throwing his arms around her.
She blinks in surprise, not sure why she feels her eyes sting with tears and her throat swell a little. She's also not sure why she feels like she should be relieved to see him or safe to be in his arms, but right now, her mind is too preoccupied to fully hug him back like she wants to.
"What are you doing here?" she questions, pulling away to meet his eyes. "Did you guys succeed? And what happened to Annabeth?"
Percy looks a little confused, clearly not expecting her reaction, but that stupid smile of his is still on his face.
"Annabeth is fine," he tells her. "Her ankle, not so much, but she'll live. We'll all live. Reyna," he says, gripping her forearm a little, "We found the statue."
"You found the statue," she echoes, letting it sink in.
He nods. "The rivalry between our camps… We can start to put everything behind us now!"
"Percy, it's not that simple. The Argo II open fired on our camp, and then we attacked your camp, and—"
"We're not as strict as the Romans, you know," he tells her, and she thinks it's meant to be slightly teasing. "We'll sort this all out. Annabeth told me to talk to you in her place, and she said that she asked you to do everything you could to delay the attack."
"And I did, but—"
"Then that's a start. And so is the statue," he insists. "Reyna, come on."
She glances at him warily, seeing the plea in his eyes. They need her to be willing to make this work if they're going to have any chance at bringing their camps together, that much is certain. She feels her resistance fading, and knows he can tell, too, because he flashes another wide smile. It's hard not to be affected by the hopefulness radiating off of him.
"Okay," she breathes, letting herself smile at him like she did when she saw him returning to Camp Jupiter on his hellhound.
"Thank gods," he exhales, laughing a little as he wraps his arms around her again.
This time she does allow herself to hug him back, closing her eyes and squeezing him tightly. They could make this work, if it's them. She trusts Percy, and she prays to the gods that her campers still trust him, and her, too.
When she opens her eyes, she looks over Percy's shoulders and then immediately stiffens.
Jason.
He's standing at the front of the stable, staring at them—at her—widely. Her stomach sinks a little. How long had he been standing there? She was so distracted by everything that Percy had been telling her that she didn't bother to notice if they remained alone the entire time or not.
She locks eyes with him and thinks that he almost looks hurt, maybe even betrayed.
Percy pulls away, and at the corner of her eye, she sees him look at her strangely before he follows her gaze and sees Jason.
"Hey," Percy greets, sounding surprised to see him and apparently blissfully unaware of the tension. Reyna grips Percy's shirt a little tighter as she forces herself to look away. "I just told Reyna the good news."
"Yeah," Jason answers tightly. "I heard."
Oh, gods.
"Oh. Good," Percy says. "And you brought the clothes," he notes, and Reyna glances to see that Jason really is carrying clothes in his hands. She hadn't noticed them before. "Those are for you, Rey," Percy tells her, and she watches a flicker of something cross Jason's face at the nickname. "They're from Annabeth, so you can shower and everything."
"Thank you," she tells him softly.
"Jason, do you think you could… It's just that it's dark out, and it's not that I don't think she can handle it or anything," Percy rushes to say, "but I'd really rather not have Reyna showering alone in the middle of the night."
Reyna turns her head again, nearly pressing her face into Percy's shoulder to fight off the blush.
"Sure," Jason finally answers after a few seconds, voice practically nonexistent.
... ...
Reyna enjoys her cold shower in the middle of the night with Jason standing right outside to keep watch as much as someone would expect her to, which is not at all. Well, she's relieved to finally clean herself off, but her own wellbeing is the last thing on her mind right now.
She's a praetor and she needs to make sure her campers are taken care of.
Twisting off the water, she fights back a yawn. Even in the middle of the night, the summer air is warm and she's starting to feel tired despite the cold shower she just took in an attempt to shake off her exhaustion. She quickly pats herself dry with a towel and then twists it around her hair to keep it out of the way for the moment as she slips into the bra and panties. Then she pulls on the denim shorts and white tee, and in the back of her mind, she's slightly surprised she wasn't leant an orange Camp Half-Blood shirt.
She tears a clean strip from her toga and then pulls the towel from her head, gathering her damp hair, twisting it into a bun and tying it in place with the purple cloth. Then she takes a few seconds the fold her towel and discarded clothes, piling them in her arms before pushing back the shower curtain.
Jason is sitting on one of the benches towards the exit of the showers, and he lifts his head and turns to look at her as he hears her flip-flops echoing against the floor.
"Here," he says, exchanging her folded clothes with a pair of socks and slightly-worn of Converse shoes.
"Thanks," she murmurs, sitting beside him on the bench to put them on. She suspects it must be midnight, if not well past it, but the camp is alive with noises of several hundreds of campers, and suddenly all of her concern comes flooding back.
"It'll be alright."
She sucks in a breath, momentarily forgetting she wasn't alone. The anxiety must've been pretty clear on her face. "We shall see," she replies.
"They'll trust the two of you." His voice is tight again.
She tugs the laces of her shoe with a little more force than necessary. "Perhaps."
"Reyna," he says, and the fact that it comes out in this hushed whisper sort of startles her, making her look at him. "I'm just trying to be here for you," he tells her. She presses her lips together, unsure of how to reply. "You let Percy comfort you earlier."
"Is that what this is about?" He looks away. "You're upset that Percy was given your place as praetor?"
"I'm not mad because of that," he tells her, pushing a hand through his hair like he always does when he's stressed. "It's just… You let him in."
"Eight months, Jason." She tilts her head so that he's looking into her eyes. "I understand that you didn't choose to leave us. I get that. But eight months is a long time to run Camp on my own. Then someone as powerful and commanding as Percy comes along"—Jason flinches—"and I needed to think of what was best. The Camp needed two praetors."
"That wasn't what I was talking about, Reyna."
She narrows her eyes a little.
"What?"
"I'm grateful that Percy was there for the Camp, okay? I'm glad that you had him for help." He closes his eyes and exhales loudly, leaning his head back against the wall. "It took so long to get you to open up to me, but you let Percy in so easily."
She blinks, not expecting this answer.
"It's hard to think about what that means," he says, barely above a whisper.
She looks away, swallowing down the lump forming in her throat. "What that means is that when I got to Camp, I was hurt and trying to protect myself. When Percy got to Camp, I was lonely and trying to make-do. I missed you, Jason." She looks away, practically feeling his stare on her skin. "I still miss you."
She's gripping the edge of the bench so tightly her knuckles are white, but when Jason reaches for her, she loosens her hold on the wood, letting him pry her fingers off and curve his hand around hers.
"I'm right here," he tells her, squeezing lightly.
She looks at him, her lips parting to reply (what she would've said, she has no idea) as a voice cuts through the air, "Jason!"
He exhales. "Yeah?" he calls back.
Leo points ahead. "Chiron's looking for Reyna."
... ...
"Let me take the entirety of Camp Jupiter's punishment."
The centaur—Chiron, as Leo referred to him—is looking out into the water with an unreadable expression. Or maybe she just can't decipher it when she's distracted by the loud pounding of her heart in her chest. "You would take the fall for your entire camp, even though you tried to stop them?"
"I could have tried harder," she says, though more to herself. "Octavian riled the legion up beyond reason. I should've done more than just try to delay things, but—"
"But Romans do not forgive betrayal," he finishes.
"They may never trust me again."
Her hand comes up to her shoulder, her eyes stinging. Her armor prevented the injury from being too serious, but the dagger still got in fairly deep. She's still unsure of which camper she had attempted to save from Dakota's strike.
"And yet, you are still willing to spare them from punishment." Chiron looks down at her. "You would do that for them."
"I am their praetor," she reminds. "Regardless, I'm solely responsible for Camp Jupiter's actions."
It's silent for a long moment, and then Chiron exhales slowly.
She looks up at him. "You'll find that Camp Half-Blood is run fairly differently from Camp Jupiter," he says. "For one, we don't believe in letting anyone stand alone. We always stand together." Then he turns to face the camp. "And with Gaea still on the rise, I say it's time that we establish that same bond between the Greeks and the Romans."
Reyna takes a deep breath.
"I will fight alongside the Greeks," she declares, and he looks at her again. "I chose to trust Percy and Annabeth, and I still do."
"I'm glad to hear that," he tells her.
"However, I cannot promise the same from my campers."
Chiron gives her a knowing smile. "You're their leader, Reyna. I am certain that they will stand beside you." She turns her head towards camp, and there's an undertone of amusement in his voice when he adds, "Something else troubles you."
She presses her lips together.
"There's no use trying to hide it. I work with children all day. Extraordinarily gifted children," he says with a slight chuckle, "but still children." He places a hand on her shoulder, a gesture that is oddly comforting right now, coming from a stranger. "I hope that you find the help you seek, for whoever it may be."
And he's already starting to walk away before she can ask who he's talking about.
... ...
She finds Annabeth sitting on one of the few beds inside Cabin Three, her ankle propped up by pillows. "Reyna," she exhales in obvious surprise, blinking as if wondering she's imagining things. Then she smiles at her, and Reyna can't help but feel relieved.
"Here," Reyna says, walking up to the side of the bed and handing Annabeth one of the mugs Chiron had given to her.
Annabeth takes a sip, making an appreciative noise at the back of her throat. "I love hot chocolate," she tells her, and Reyna gives her a small grin before taking a sip. "Have you talked to anyone from Camp Jupiter yet?"
"No, I haven't," Reyna sighs, running her thumb absently across the rim of her mug. "After I showered, Chiron wanted to talk with me. Where are they?"
"Percy tells me that they're all at the amphitheater," Annabeth informs. "They're tending to the injured from both camps in the infirmary, but other than that, everyone's camping out tonight. They're supposed to be passing around food and sleeping bags right now. It's kind of crazy. We're not used to having this many campers here."
"It's overwhelming," Reyna agrees. Then she adds, a little softer, "Thank you for taking care of them."
Annabeth smiles at her. "People don't always understand, huh? They expect us to be cold and calculating because our mothers are goddesses of war," she goes on, meeting Reyna's eyes, "without realizing the protectiveness that comes with it."
"But you understand."
"I do." Annabeth takes another sip of her hot chocolate. "And I still think that, even after everything, there's still chance for peace. Just look at what's happening tonight."
"Romans are very proud and very stubborn, Annabeth," Reyna reminds. Annabeth looks like she doesn't know if she should laugh or not. Instead, she pats the spot on the bed next to her, and Reyna hesitates before sliding out of her shoes and moving carefully to sit on the bed. "It may take a while."
"At least we can start somewhere," Annabeth says. "We'll get them to trust each other on the battlefield and work up from there."
Reyna looks at her. "You're quite the optimist."
Annabeth does laugh this time, shrugging her shoulders. "You can thank Seaweed Brain for that."
Reyna arches an eyebrow at her.
"Percy," she clarifies.
Reyna nods distractedly. The endearing nickname brings her mind back into a memory of her and Jason running through New Rome, Aurum and Argentum barking happily beside them as Jason grabs her by her waist and spins them in a circle, and she cries out, "Put me down, Air Head!" before they both dissolve into another fit of laughter.
"Reyna?" She blinks at her name and finds Annabeth looking at her. "You okay?" she asks, but Reyna can tell she already knows the answer.
"I'm dealing," she admits, taking a sip of her now lukewarm hot chocolate.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
And for some strange reason, she does want to talk about it with her, because she has this strong feeling that if anyone's going to understand at least a fraction of what she's feeling right now, it's Annabeth. "I don't know what to say," Reyna admits.
"He's an idiot, you know," Annabeth says casually, like she's commenting on the weather. "But he's an idiot who's in love with you."
"He has feelings for Piper," she reminds.
"You don't know that." Reyna shoots her a look and Annabeth just shrugs. "You don't," she declares. "Look, Piper's great. And she's my friend. Even if she hadn't told me that Jason seemed a more distant and distracted lately, I would've noticed, because it's very obvious what's going on."
Annabeth waits for her to respond, and Reyna blows out a sigh. "And what would be going on?"
"He's remembering," she says, barely above a whisper, and Reyna fumbles with her mug, almost spilling some of her drink. "He can't stop thinking about you, no matter how hard he tries to remain faithful to Piper. You didn't see how crazy he was, wondering where you were and if you were alright, or if the Romans were giving you a hard time. And you didn't see the look of terror on his face when we got to camp and his sister told him that a girl with dark hair and a purple toga took a blade that'd been meant for her."
Reyna resists shaking her head. So the camper she'd saved had been Jason's sister.
Clearly the gods enjoy a little irony.
"Just give him some time," Annabeth tells her. It sounds like a plea, but whether it's for the sake of Jason's heart or Reyna's, she's unsure of.
Reyna exhales bitterly. "He had eight months," she says, even though she knows how unfair it is of her to use that against him.
"Then give him a little more time. Trust me. In the end, it'll be worth more than everything you've ever gone through," Annabeth insists. She sounds as if she's speaking from experience, and though Reyna's tempted to ask about it, she stops herself.
Instead, she takes another sip of her drink and replies honestly, "I hope you're right."
... ...
She wakes up to the sounds of a hushed conversation.
Her head feels a little groggy, but she already feels significantly better than she had before she'd apparently passed out. And she doesn't remember falling asleep, either. All she does remember is feeling thoroughly exhausted while she and Annabeth spent most of the night talking.
Her eyes flutter open, squinting as they slowly adjust to the lighting.
Annabeth is lying next to her, still sleeping, with her blonde curls fanned out over the pillow beneath her head. Then she hears a voice behind her say, a little louder, "I think she's waking up," and Reyna bolts upward in surprise, instantly regretting the action when a wave of vertigo hits her head. She groans slightly, her hand flying up to her forehead.
A hand touches her shoulder gently, and she gasps a little and stiffens, turning her head and finding herself staring into Jason's eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
She blinks a little, wondering if he's really there. He frowns and grips her arm a little tighter, and she thinks it's safe to assume that he's real. "Yeah, I'm fine," she murmurs, nodding.
He smiles at her in relief, and she blames the flutter of her stomach on the fact that she just woke up.
"Good," he says. He still hasn't let go of her arm.
Beside her, she feels the bed shifting as Annabeth is beginning to wake up, and Percy comes to stand beside Jason. Reyna looks at Annabeth, watching her blinking awake and then smiling beautifully at Percy, eyes sparkling and her pearly white teeth glistening.
"You drool when you sleep," Percy tells her, and the two share a laugh that makes her feel like she's intruding on a private moment, like it's some sort of inside joke.
"Sorry we kind of stole your bed," Annabeth apologizes. Reyna looks out the open doors, which she remembers being closed last night. It looks like it's at least the middle of the morning right now. Reyna can't remember the last time she's slept in this late before. "Did you guys sleep in here?"
"No, we crashed in Cabin One," Percy reassures. "It'd be kind of creepy if we suck in last night while you guys were sleeping and spent the night, don't you think?"
"But it's not creepy that you guys snuck in this morning while we were sleeping and sat down to chat?"
Jason laughs while Reyna fights back a giggle.
Percy rolls his eyes. "You like being right, don't you, Wise Girl?"
"Yes, I do, Seaweed Brain." She glances at Reyna and Jason, and their conversation from last night bubbles up to the surface of Reyna's mind. "Let's go for a walk."
"If you want to," Reyna tells her.
Annabeth laughs. "I was talking to my boyfriend, actually," she corrects, but when places her hand on Reyna's arm. "But, last night was fun. We'll have to do it again sometime." Then she turns to Percy and shakes her head when she sees him reaching for her crutch. "Just carry me, Seaweed Brain," she tells him.
Percy laughs and scoops her into his arms with ease. "We'll see you guys at the cabin meeting," he says to them, and gives Jason a look before carrying Annabeth out of the cabin.
Reyna shakes her head, wondering if part of her is still sleeping.
"Two daughters of war goddesses having a slumber party," Jason muses. "Not to sound like a creep, but I'm really curious to see what that's alike."
She lets out a laugh. "Your objective failed, then. You sounded very much like a creep."
"I'm a curious guy," he says, making her smile and shake her head at him. She notices that he loosened his grip on her arm so that he's just holding her now. "Did you sleep well last night? You looked ready to pass out when I saw you coming back from your walk with Chiron. I wanted to check on you, but Chiron said you were going to talk to Annabeth."
"You don't have to check up on me all the time."
She says this, but it kind of hurts.
Hearing him talk like that brings back more memories of when he'd drop by her villa at night and end up falling asleep with her on the couch, or when he'd sneak her jelly beans during particularly dull senate meetings. He'd made it his personal mission to take care of her, because he thought she worked too hard.
"I want to," he tells her. He'd said it several times before, when she didn't quite realize he wasn't going to stop being there for her. "Am I not allowed to anymore?"
"You shouldn't," she says softly, and he gives her a hurt look. "I don't think Piper would like it very much."
"Why would that… Oh. Rey, I called it off with Piper," he tells her, and she thinks her heart all but stops beating for a few seconds. Her eyes widen, lips parting slightly, but her words don't come out. "It just wouldn't be fair to her for me to keep pretending."
"Pretending what?"
"Pretend that I don't have feelings for you."
He says it so simply, like it should be obvious, and she breathes, "Jason," as she stares at him.
"I do," he insists. "They were always sort of there, even when I woke up without my memories. But part of me kept resisting, like it didn't want me to remember. I didn't used know why before." She exhales shallowly, and he grasps her hands, squeezing their fingers together like he had last night. "But, I have a theory."
She waits.
When he finally speaks, it's barely above a whisper.
"I was afraid," he admits. "I mean, I thought I had a pretty good idea about our relationship and how you felt about me before, but I wasn't sure. It'd taken so long to get so close to you in the first place, and I was afraid of doing anything that would mess up what we had."
Her eyes sting a little at the word had – like it would just be gone forever.
"So when Juno switched us and wiped my memories," he goes on, "I guess that part of me that had been afraid figured that, at least if I never remembered, I could never be heartbroken. That's why I think I didn't remember you as clearly as Percy had remembered Annabeth. It was cowardly of me, and I'm sorry for putting you through that."
"Having your memories taken away wasn't your fault."
"But you still had to go through it," he says, and she meets his eyes. "I hurt you, and I can't ever take that away."
"Jason—"
"I hurt the both of you," he continues. "Piper's a great girl, but she deserves someone that can give himself entirely to her and I just can't do that."
"Because part of you is with Camp Jupiter?" she asks, and it's so soft that she's surprised he heard it.
He blinks at her like he's surprised she's missing something so obvious. "Because all of me is with you." He squeezes their fingers again, absently running his thumb over her knuckles like he used to. "I'm yours, whether or not you still want me."
"Of course I still do," she exhales shakily, her vision blurring when she blinks and gets tears in her eyes. "How could you even ask that?"
"I was afraid the answer might've changed," he admits.
Laughter bubbles out of her.
"Don't be silly," she murmurs, and he chuckles softly, kissing her forehead. She thinks about what Annabeth told her last night, about everything being worth it in the end, and she's beginning to think that she's known this all along. She'd just forgotten. "It's going to take a lot more than what Juno did to change how I feel about you."
He nods, and she looks down at their joined hands, threading their fingers together.
"I've really missed you," she whispers.
He pulls her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her tightly as if afraid the gods are going to come back and pry them apart once more. "I'm right here," he tells her.
"I know," she breathes. "And I'm glad that you are. To be honest, I'm terrified about how today's supposed to go."
She glances out the doors and thinks about all of their campers waiting for them in the amphitheater, how she's supposed to face them after what she did, how they'll react to seeing her. She thinks about Gaea and her Giants and how suddenly the fate of the gods and the mortal world they live rests, once again, on their shoulders.
"I'll be right beside you the whole time." She looks up at him, smiling. "We'll get through this."
"We always do," she agrees, and she lets him pull her to her feet, placing a kiss to her temple as they step out of the cabin, their fingers threaded between them.