This is so random. Basically I can't get enough of Lee getting drunk.
Disclaimer: I have no ownership of Naruto, is that clear?
Druken Fist!
"Hey you guys want a drink or something?" Kankurou said off handing walking down the dusty streets of Suna. He had his hands in his pockets and didn't seem at all bothered by the desert heat. Meanwhile Naruto and Lee were both pouring sweat, fanning each other desperately trying to get cooled off. It was a few days since the Konoha's team managed to rescue Gaara. Their sensei had been severely wounded after fighting the Akatsuki and, so the two Konoha teams were staying a bit longer in Suna for a bit of rest and relaxation. But that wasn't what the knucklehead ninja was thinking of at the moment.
"YES! I NEED A PLACE TO GET OUT OF THIS HEAT!" Naruto yelled out already getting ready to strip in the middle of the street.
"Alright then." And so they arrived at a small bar on the corner. Once they walked inside the cool air-conditioned greet the two Konoha boys happily. They smiled for a minute thanking the miracle that was known as air-conditioning, but then stopped and looked at their surroundings. The high stools on the counter with large heavy mugs, people talking somewhat, and that man that stood in the middle of the counter wiping it with a rag to cover up his conversation with another man, face covered by a turban. And the smell of alcohol.
Naruto looked around inspecting everything. His eyes shut in that way that showed he was thinking. "Hey are we in a bar?" he said folding his arms.
"No, what gave you that impression?"
"Well it's just that…"
"Ever heard of sarcasm?" Kankurou asked sighing and putting his head over his face. Really how did this boy manage to be such a superb fighter against the Akatsuki, but still be as dull as a rusted nail?
"A bar?" Lee said finally bringing in his surroundings. "I can't be here! If Gai-sensei found out…." Panic spread on the Leaf ninja's face as a image of a very disappointed Gai-sensei came into view. "Gai-sensei always says that you have to take care of your growing youthful body—what?" He cried out loud as he felt Kankurou push him in roughly through the front doors.
"Geez stop standing on the front door. You're letting the sand in," he scowled at him walking towards the bar. The few inhabitants didn't even bother to look up at the teens and simply continued drinking and chatting away happily. "Don't worry I won't say anything," the older boy said finding a seat on the high stools next to the counters, "and I'm sure Naruto won't say anything as well. Right Naruto?"
"I won't say a word to Gai-sensei!"
"Yeah, but you see…"
"Yo, Shisaki get us three of your best drinks here," Kankurou said interrupting the bartender's wiping on the counter.
"Right away… say who are these kids here?" he said noticing the Leaf symbol on the foreign boys.
"Damn when do you care so much," he said putting supporting his chin on his palm. "Besides these kids are the ones that helped to rescue Gaara."
"These guys?"
"That's right!" Naruto said out loud causing people to look at him.
"If you say so Kankurou-san. I just hope these kids can hold down them down. I don't want them throwing up on my floor," he said laughing at them before turning his back to them and getting ready to make the drinks that were ordered.
"I didn't know Suna's drinking age was much lower," Lee said watching the man work.
"No its not," Kankurou said looking far of the distance.
"It's not! Then we could be arrested for even being here!" Naruto yelled out panicking. He really didn't want to go to Suna's prisons, since he supposed there was no air-condition. "I know you're being sarcastic that's what! HAHAAHA!" he said yelling out again everyone turned to look at him.
"Damn kid you don't have to be so loud!" Kankurou said shutting his left eye as if trying to protect his ears from the noise pollution.
"But Kankurou-san, your underage," Lee gasped as though that was the worst thing in the world.
"So?"
Lee and Naruto stared at him dumbstruck. He didn't care at all!
"But…"
"Listen the only good thing that came out of being related to the Kazekage is that I can do whatever I want and no one will say anything about it. I mean when my dad was Kazekage, he didn't care about anything I did. He was too busy thinking how to kiss ass to those federal lords," the older boy said no remorse for his deceased father. "Gaara doesn't care either as long as I don't do anything stupid."
The bartender came a few minutes later with a large pitcher of sake; taking three small china cups to the boys he poured some out for each of them. He left with a small nod to Kankurou and went to attend other customers.
"Cheers!" Kankurou said lifting up the small cup of sake and bringing it up to his lips.
"Um… yeah…" Naruto said awkwardly. He looked at the liquid in his cup and took a quick sniff at it. It really didn't smell pleasant at all. "You should go first Bushy-Brows."
It was the end of the day, and to be frank Gaara was tired as hell. This whole sleep thing was going to be hard to get used to. Who would have thought that people really need to sleep every night? He'd often assumed that people slight every night so they day would become shorter. But apparently three days without sleep really did wear someone down.
"Why don't we stop for a drink, eh Gaara?" Temari asked after noticing his tired demeanor and demanding that he get out of his office.
"Alright, but I want coffee," he quickly answered. He really didn't get why his siblings loved the taste of alcohol so much, so instead he found an addiction in coffee.
"Sure, you know that coffee's bad for your right? Especially drinking a cup almost five times a day," she said sarcastically approaching the bar that she and Kankurou normally went to.
"So do you think I care?" Gaara responded but stopped dead in his tracks as he entered the bar. Temari voiced out his thoughts.
"What the hell? Did we get attack?"
The bar looked like it was in shambles. Tables, chairs, and broken glass bottles littered the floor as though there had been some sort of fight that had been going on minutes ago. The only occupants in the room was Kankurou and Naruto sitting on the high stools watching what appeared to be a green thing failing to play the piano.
"100 bottles of beer on the wall, 100 bottles of beer on the wall, you pass one down and throw it around, 233 beers on the wall!" the green spandex dressed boy said hiccupping every two seconds.
"Lee?" the red head asked completely bewildered at what he was seeing before him.
"Gaara-kun!" he responded running awkwardly to his side in a flash.
"I'm so happy you're here! Now-now we can finish… our song!" He hiccupped loudly wrapping his arm around him.
No he couldn't be.
"What comes after 7? Oh who cares! I can't believe you're here! Drinks around the house!" he hiccupped again. Holding an empty mug in the air, he yelled out to the empty bar, "Hey hey drinks on everyone! We have to celebrate Gaara-kun's resurrection!"
Was he?
"He is so drunk," Temari said laughing out loud at the boy.
Yup, Konoha's Green Beast was as drunk as a monkey.
"Hey don't-don't laugh at me! I'm-I'm not drunk!" He burped out loud his breath reeking of alcohol. Up close, Temari was right about the whole drunk thing. His eyes drooped lazily, while his cheeks burned bright red from being intoxicated.
"Get off me!" Gaara pushed him away, highly disgusted at his behavior. But surprisingly, Lee would not let go of Gaara's shoulder.
"C'mon Gaara-kun! We have to… we have to… what was I saying again? Oh yes… we have to celebrate our Youthful Spirit, just like Gai-sensei says! C'mon Gaara-kun I'll teach you the nice guy pose. Its like--" He said sluggishly moving away from Gaara to do the signature move of his favorite teacher when he fell flat on his face.
"This is too much!" Naruto said banging his hand on the table and cracking up.
"That's right!" Kankurou joined in laughing right along side with Naruto.
However Gaara did not see what was so funny about the situation. He turned to his brother glaring hatefully at him. Then he heard a small laughter coming from behind him. It was Temari! She was laughing along with the situation as well.
"Oh my god," Temari said trying to contain her laugher. "I can't believe that---"
"Who the hell gave Lee alcohol?" Gaara said angrily.
"It was Kankurou!" Naruto said lifting his head to watch the drunken boy on the floor.
"You did this?" Temari said trying to contain her laughter. "Good one Kankurou!"
"Hey I didn't think this would happen!" he said still howling with laughter.
So this was what his siblings did? Get their friends drunk to make an ass of themselves? And then get him embarrassed? Maybe he should have been an only child after all.
"Kankurou," Gaara said looking eerily at his brother. "How much did he have to drink?"
The puppeteer simply continued to laugh, tears forming in his eyes from laughing so much.
"Kankurou!" Gaara said rather threatening though it didn't seem with Lee muttering nonsense to his side.
"Relax, Gaara, it was just one sip," Kankurou said.
"You sure?" Temari said raising an eyebrow at him. "He looks like he had about six drinks all at once."
"Here's the cup to prove it," the puppet master said holding up the cup that Lee had been drinking on. "I mean this guy can't hold any alcohol at all. First he fell off the stool chair, then he started talking to the tables!"
"Where are those drinks? Where are they?" Lee said spinning his head around the room as if expecting them to come popping in the air. "Gaara-kun why aren't-aren't you listening?" he said latching his arm around Gaara's shoulder once again.
"Because you're making a complete fool of yourself," Gaara said trying to shove him away. Really how much strength did this boy have?
"Hey Gaara-kun!"
"Gaara-kun!"
"What!" he said glaring at him. All he wanted was a cup of coffee and now he got this?
"Did I ever tell ya… you have the most beautiful pair of eyes?" He said softly and hiccupped loudly. "They are the same color as the beautiful beast of Konoha," he said gently touching his face gently with his left hand.
And then went flying across the room as a wave of sand shot up.
All the laughter ended there as everyone realized Gaara was more pissed off than usual.
"Wait Gaara! You don't want to kill him!" Temari said out loud coming behind her baby brother as he slowly approached his prey.
"Yeah! He's intoxicated and doesn't even know what he's doing!" Kankurou pitched in holding his hands out in retreat.
"So?" Gaara challenged looking at his target. How dare someone touch him like that! He stretched out his hand getting ready to crush the Leaf boy with his hand. Oh how he was going to enjoy crushing his bones for harassing him like that.
"C'mon Gaara, he didn't mean it," Naruto said from the end of the stool that he as sitting at. "You need to have fun once in a while. I mean how many times have you seen Bushy-Brows drunk?"
"Once, when he was fighting against the Sound ninja. And he didn't seem anything but amusing to me," he replied seriously still staring at the raven hair boy that had somehow fallen asleep.
"Don't kill him, please Gaara?" the blonde said giving him a smile that was basically pleading 'please don't kill him.' "It was just a joke."
If it hadn't been anyone but Naruto, Gaara would have probably crushed him with his sand as well. But since the red head owed him so much, he pulled back his sand. Lee fell down to the floor and began to snore loudly. But just because he let the Leaf ninja go didn't mean that he was going to let this slide.
"Shisaki," Gaara said to the bartender. He was cowering under the table after Lee got drunk and started to break random tables.
"Yes, Kazekage-sama?" He asked raising his head to view his young leader.
"From now on I want you to reinforce the drinking age."
"Yes sir,"
"But Gaara—" came the whines from both Temari and Kankurou.
"And another thing, the drinking age is here by raised to 27."
"What!" Kankurou called out loud.
"You can't be serious!" Temari joined in as well.
"I am," he said turning a grim expression to his two siblings.
"HAHA! He messed you up big time!" Naruto barked in laughter, but immediately stopped as he received the threatening stares from the two siblings. "Um… I'll go get Bushy-Brows!"
As Gaara continued to stomp away still boiling in anger, he slowed down remembering the outraged expression of Temari and Kankurou.
Now what was that saying, oh yes, "He, who laughs last, laughs longest."
A/N: Nobody can make a fool out of Gaara!
--Mel