Bunny here yet again, with another KagomexSesshomaru ficclety one-shot! I've been dead for so long...
(x_x) dead bunny.
Anyways, this one if for Victoria, since she's currently in Switzerland and it's currently her eighteenth birthday! Stop pestering me with regards to my other ficclets now. God.
Disclaimer: Whatever.
Dedication: Already dealt with.
Enjoy, if you can
x)
Undisclosed Desires
humbly presented to you by
...Me.
"Why won't you tell me what you want?"
He scoffed softly, shifting against the window pane. "I do not want anything."
"Yes, you do," he heard her shift, felt her presence, yet continued to ignore everything about her, "I can give it to you…I can give you anything you want."
"Stop wasting your time, Kagome."
A hand caressed his shoulders lightly through his silk shirt; he repressed the urge to shutter. Locking his jaw, he moved away from her, only enough so that her hand fell away from his body soundlessly. He heard her sigh, heard the ever patient compassion in that single breath of air—he refused to acknowledge any of it.
"Why?"
"Because I do not want." She was questioning him again—she always questioned him, even when he refused to answer. He wanted nothing more than to be rid of her, to abolish all traces of the very fabric of her existence from every crevice in his mind. He waited, discreetly testing the air for any indications of what she was currently feeling through her scent. She hadn't said a word, hadn't moved an inch. He realized at that moment that she was holding her breath—patiently, very patiently.
"I do not want," he repeated slowly.
I know you've suffered
But I don't want you to hide
It's cold and loveless
I won't let you be denied
She didn't understand, he finally realized—she didn't understand anything. He had sought her out, waited over five hundred years so that he could find her, hoping that she would understand. Why didn't she understand—
"Understand what? What is it you want me to understand?"
He was thinking aloud, he could have cursed himself for his foolishness. But he didn't; instead, he blamed her. Wasn't it supposed to be so much easier just to hate her?
"You waste your time, human," he repeated, his voice once again regaining the cold and aloof tone that signified his superiority over the world, "Your attempts are futile; you are nothing more than a bother."
She stepped out in front of him—he knew she would, yet he was still unprepared to look away from her. Her eyes called to him—he wanted to claw off his ears. Her lips parted, and he was enraptured.
"Don't forget that you're the one who came knocking on my door."
"You had asked me to." He had not wished to respond to her, but he could no longer control his actions. Self-control had slipped away from him centuries ago, on the same day he was forced to watch her disappear down that damn well.
"Since when did you start listening to humans, Sesshomaru?" her tone was light and playful—it reminded him of the past, the days he spent with her and her comrades, the nights she spent with him alone under starry skies; what was centuries ago for him must have only been mere months for her…yet she still did not understand. "Sesshomaru…"
Soothing
I will make you feel pure
Trust me
You can be sure
"I should not have come here." It was odd for him to regret a path of action, but he could no longer control this situation.
"Then why did you?"
"That is none of your concern anymore." He wished desperately to be in his own era once again, an era in which he ruled lands, slayed demons, and did not succumb to foreign emotions because of one mere human woman.
"Fine, then leave. Get out of my apartment right this second—"
"Foolish woman," He snarled, stooping so that he was eye level with her, "How dare you order this Sesshomaru to do anything. You know not of what I have seen, what I have experienced, or how long I have waited in order to seek you out."
"Why did you?" she was calm despite his threatening aura and dominating posture—he was somewhat relieved that even after all those years, she still had yet to fear him.
"Are you deaf, human? As I have said before, you were the one who requested that I come to—"
"I'm aware of what I asked, but that still doesn't answer my question as to why! I know you well enough to know that 'this Sesshomaru' only does what benefits himself. What could you possibly be gaining by being here?"
His eyes flashed red, her heart skipped a beat, and he growled low in his throat.
"You."
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from you past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart
The resulting silence stretched out for far longer than he had hoped it would. The atmosphere between them had shifted to something heavy, something completely foreign to his nature. He was not use to this, hearing the frantic pounding of his own heart over hers, feeling his fingertips twitch in their urge to touch her, breath trapped within the confines of his own throat…
He took a deep breath…only to have it forcibly knocked back out of him as Kagome collided with his chest unexpectedly.
"You big, fat idiot! Why can't you just say that you care about me?"
Sesshomaru frowned, hesitantly wrapping his arms around her petite form, "Why can you not just accept the matter?"
He watched her wearily as she looked up at him with surprisingly hard eyes.
"Why are you so cold?"
He sighed, "Why must you ask so many questions?"
"I figured a couple centuries would change a guy…"
"I am not the same as I was five hundred years in the past…"
"Say it."
He drew his gaze away from her own, knowing where she was attempting to lead this conversation but refusing to give into her before she gave into him.
"What exactly is it that you wish for me to say?"
He felt her beginning to shift away from his body and his chest constricted painfully. Nevertheless, he loosened his arms from around her body and let them drop to his side as she took a step away from him.
"Sesshomaru, tell me that you care about me."
The silence stretched on as he stared over her head with steeled eyes.
"Sesshomaru!"
"Why are words so important to you? For youkai, it is action that makes for louder statements."
"Well, I'm not a youkai, now am I!"
"I have not forgotten about you human heritage."
You trick your lovers
That you're wicked and divine
You may be a sinner
But your innocence is mine
Too late did he realize his mistake in uttering those words to her, words that so obviously cut her deep. Indeed he had changed over the past five hundred years; no longer did hate the human race for pointless reasons. He had seen what they were capable of when they came together for the good of all their kind. Yes, they also caused pain and needless suffering, but did his own race not do so as well? He had not meant to rub her humanity back into her face, but the damage had been done, and it was now time for him to fix it.
"Kagome, I—"
"What do you want from me?"
He would have growled in utter frustration if it had not been for the meekness in her voice, and the submissive nature of her stance. Taking a step towards her he extended his arm and tentatively touched her jaw.
"I do not want."
"But…"
"Kagome, I need you. How can you not understand that? How can you not see it? When you left," he paused in hesitation before steeling his resolve as he gazed intensely into her warm eyes, "When you left, I was alone once again. Rin grew up and married and I had no path to follow. I traveled everywhere and nowhere, searching for possibilities of where you might be hidden. It was the hanyou that told me to wait for you by the well. He said that one day you would return, and that I should watch over you until the time was right. How foolish I thought his words were."
"But…but you waited?"
The corner of his lips quirked up at her childish tone of voice—so innocent, so pure.
Please me
Show me how it's done
Trust me
You are the one
"Yes," he nodded, "I waited there for you. I watched the world move around me as I stood guard over the only obstacle keeping me from you. I saw many things, Kagome, many great things and many terrible things. But I knew that one day, I would find you again."
"And here you are?"
"Yes," he threaded his fingers through the soft strands of her hair, "Here I am."
"I really missed you, you know."
"I would miss this Sesshomaru as well, if I was gone for such an extended period of time."
"So I see someone finally got himself a sense of humour!" He revelled in her resulting laughter.
"I think it is time that this Sesshomaru shows you how very much he has been craving for you as well?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Back it up there, mister…I said I missed you, not craved you!"
"I have acknowledged and understood what you had said."
"…Well, then—"
"Did you not also say that you could give this Sesshomaru anything he desired?"
He watched as her face flushed a brilliant shade of red and listened to her flustered response for only so long before his eyes took on a predatory glint and he smiled.
She 'eeped.'
He pounched.
And that night they revelled in the once undisclosed desires of their heart.
There, all done.
And it's crapposity.
So flames please x)