Title: Sunny Side Up
Author: Pheo

Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Summary: "Unsure of how he'd managed to fall asleep on the settee in the living room of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, he was nonetheless even more wary of the sounds permeating from the kitchen below." Written for the January rt challenge at LiveJournal (prompt 7, egg).

Splat.

"Remus!"

Hisss.

"Remus, get up!"

Splat.

Remus Lupin opened one bleary eye. Unsure of how he'd managed to fall asleep on the settee in the living room of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, he was nonetheless even more wary of the sounds permeating from the kitchen below.

He knew someone was calling his name. He also knew that his head hurt badly, and that his mouth tasted like something Buckbeak might eat…or even excrete.

Bleh.

"Remus Lupin, if you don't get up right now, I'm going to get Kreacher to wake you."

There was a pause, and a distinct sound of wheezy muttering. Remus wasn't sure, but he thought he caught the words "halfbreed," "insolent," and "mistress" somewhere.

He managed to stumble down the stairs and was surprised to find Nymphadora Tonks cooking breakfast. As his brain caught up and it dawned on him that he'd heard her voice waking him up he decided that he shouldn't be surprised, after all.

"Nymphadora," he managed, blinking in the unforgiving kitchen light.

"Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus." She turned around and grinned at him, alive and awake and lovely as ever. "Good morning! Sit down and have a cup of tea."

"Egh," he mumbled, collapsing into the nearest chair. Rubbing his hands over his face, he said, "God. Tonks, what happened last night?"

She turned to him, lips trembling. "You don't remember? You declared your undying love for me and, despite my protests, had your way with me on the settee in there."

Remus' jaw dropped.

Tonks turned back to the eggs. "I was quite taken aback, of course, but you just seemed so drunk and sad, and I thought, well, the man needs at least one last go before he kicks the bucket."

Remus' eyes bulged.

"You did okay, you know, for a drunk. I mean, it took you a while to find where to go and what to do and all that, but I suspect you were a bit rusty."

This time, Remus stood up. "Nympha--"

"I said, don't call me Nymphadora, Remus!" She turned and waved the spatula at him. "Merlin knows you said it enough last night."

He gawked at her.

"Of course, that was before you called me Elaine. And then Sylvia. Somewhere in there, I remember being called Patrice as well."

Remus started to talk, and then stopped. He scratched his head. "When did I ever tell you about Patrice?"

Tonks was in the middle of cracking an egg over the skillet when she suddenly snorted. The next thing Remus knew, she was doubled over, clutching her stomach as she laughed, sending herself bum-first onto the floor—and the egg splattering not a foot away from where she sat.

"Oh, Remus," she gasped, her face red. "You should have seen your face!"

"That was not funny, Tonks!" Remus huffed, even while, ever the gentleman, staggering over to help her up.

"Oh, but it was!" Tonks shook with laughter as he pulled her up to stand, and she mopped up the egg wandlessly before going back to cooking breakfast. "Do you not remember anything, then?"

Remus scratched his chin as Tonks loaded the toaster, thinking. He did remember drinking with Sirius, talking about times long forgotten (and not so forgotten), old girlfriends, and Tonks herself. Tonks had then arrived after a long shift and had decided that they should all play some sort of Muggle drinking game where they each had to tell the truth or get "completely sloshed," as Tonks had put it.

Remus couldn't remember how much of his soul he'd bared, but it had to have been quite a bit for her to know the names of his ex-girlfriends.

"I remember…" Then it came to him.

"So Remus," Tonks had slurred. "Tell us why the Order's resident werewolf has remained so delicish--deliciously sh-single."

Padfoot had automatically begun pouring Remus' shot, saying, "Oh, he's not going to go for this one, Tonks." He handed the drink to Remus. "Drink up, mate!"

"No!" Remus had shouted the word as he toppled over, spilling the entire drink over Sirius.

"Oi! That's good stuff you're wasting, Moony!" his friend shouted back, furiously wiping himself off with a towel. "Do a damn drying charm, then."

"Can't find m' bloody wand," Remus said from his position on the floor. He sat up and pointed at Tonks. "You—you're why I'm single. Don't you get it?" His bright eyes stared at her as if she were the most unusual thing he'd ever seen.

Tonks, though thoroughly intoxicated, stared at him quizzically. "What are you talking about, Remus?"

"You—my heart belongs to you." He waved his hand, as if he were talking about the weather, and said, "I thought everyone knew that." Then he passed out on the floor.

"I, ah, I remember you coming over and getting wasted out of my mind, but, other than that, it's all blank," he finally said, not meeting the Auror's stare.

"Oh." Did she sound disappointed? Remus wasn't sure. "Well," she went on, "I now know that you can't handle your drink worth a shit, Remus Lupin!"

He smiled weakly. "No. No, I never could, Nymphadora."

She smiled back, with a bit less than her usual sparkle. Somehow, she didn't seem as awake and alive as she had been—but she was still just as lovely.

God, she'd always be.

She shook her head at him, eyes blazing. "Don't call me Nymphadora!" Then, perhaps a bit too brightly, "Breakfast is ready! Eat up." And as she turned, she knocked yet another egg onto the floor.