A/N: The idea for this fic came to me midway through this half of season 6 when I realized how the show had lost its way beyond a point it could come back. I realized the show would never give me the closure I needed because it didn't understand what it had and the stories it had given up or wasted. I'm not a fic writer. I'm a meta writer but I needed to do this. I didn't have a problem with season 4 per se apart from the fact that the sire bond was unnecessary really. The same angst could have been handled other ways without making agency questionable. The show truly lost its plot however in season 5. But I needed a turning point in the series for Elena and I needed to lay a basis for the mythology by rewriting it so I decided to start with post 3x22 because Elena wakes up as a vampire and it's a story premise that has so much work that can be done with, using the very basis of the three seasons. I was never mad about 3x22. I thought it added a lot of layers into the story that I wish the writers delved into more.

I also realized in these two years a lot of things that make a story from watching this one fall apart and this is my attempt at exploring those aspects. While this is fanfiction and it is rated as romance, I do intend to focus on things that accentuate the depth of the characters and Damon and Elena's dynamic which means allowing inter-character interaction and individual character moments, even taking the triangle that was conventionally perceived as SE vs. DE as much more than a ship war. I know it is fanfic and people don't read it for plot but as many people have said and I've found to be true plot is character and character is plot. The minute the two are disconnected your story is gone. So I've outlined a plot/mythology based on previous seasons for the purpose of allowing the characters to be in feasible situations to allow for interactions with a sense of direction. This is just the prologue and yes, it is short but I wanted to put it out as a teaser because it is not the first scene in the "present" timeline of s4 that it starts with but it's not far off. You will understand it better when I'm done publishing my first chapter(which I'm working on) or maybe first Act if the chapter gets too long needing to be divided.

You're born, you live and then you die.

You're either dead or alive.

Elena pressed the words onto the journal with so much force, she dug into the paper. She paused for a moment. There was a time when she believed those words too. Now she didn't know what she believed. She stared at the words for a good minute, thinking of what to do with them. By the end of the moment, she only knew one thing. She hated them.

Today, she was technically dead but still breathing while her lungs didn't need air. This time the water choked up her lungs beyond repair and it should have been the end. But Death would never come.

She was about to tear the page from the journal and throw it when she remembered she had ears on her, even with water running down the sink tap. She looked around her medium-sized bathroom and clenched her teeth to suppress a scream. She decided to settle for scratching the words out. It started with a clean stroke but turned into jagged movements blocking out the words. When it tore through an inch of paper in between it, she broke out of the moment.

She looked down at the mess she'd made, blocked out thoughts with more ink and the little ragged tear. With her enhanced vision she could see the tiny folds that formed on the ridges of a careless paper cut. She noticed she had missed out another tiny slit. She wondered if it happened while she was writing or scratching out the words. More frustrated now, she grimaced and stabbed the paper with her pen. And again. And another time. Then, she dragged her pen down through the stabbed piercings, and then up. She increased her pace gradually so she was scratching through the entire page - her cuts now both accidental and intentional - mangling it and those under. After a while, it exhausted her and she dropped her pen, blowing out a tired breath.

Looking around the four walls and the ceiling of the bathroom again, she fisted her hands wanting to take punch at something. She settled for running her hands through her hair and over her face in desperation, scratching a bit of her cheek, while tears trickled down her face into the small cut. She barely flinched at the saltiness touching her flesh before she saw it heal right away through the mirror.

She traced the area where the cut was a moment ago on her face. It was gone, like it never happened. She spotted a glass on the side of the sink and grabbed it to throw it towards the mirror but caught herself before she could. She couldn't.

Death kept trapping her with every choice she made. It was looking her in the eye and provoking her, pushing her to revisit those choices again and again, as if to test if she truly owned them. Maybe Death wanted to see if she'd give in again or maybe Death was her constant, forcing her to live.

She bit back a sob, still staring into the mirror. Slipping her fingers under the running water, she trembled from the still new over-sensitivity. After allowing her hands to adjust to it, she splattered water on her face and tried wiping off any sign of tears and puffy eyes. Once done, she flipped her journal closed swiftly, trying hard to not make too much noise. Noise woke up people's suspicion to others' thoughts and thoughts were violent things, that hurt and leave you hurt; some burdens were better borne alone.

After turning off the light, she tried sneaking back into her room. She stopped in the middle of the room realizing the irony.

She was a thief in her own home, hiding herself and her silent thoughts in the dark from the man who lay naked under her sheets, asleep - waiting for her to come back to him.

She chose him.

It was supposed to be easier than this.

PS: Feedback would be great :)