Simply Typical.
A Shin Seiki Evangelion Fanfiction
by Maayacola
Chapter One: Meet the Team. NERV hits a few nerves.
Deep inside a secret lair, Gendou Ikari was working on a secret project that was so secret even he wasn't exactly sure what it was. But he knew that it was very evil, and very, very secret.
He punched a few buttons in, and Fuyutski cleared his throat. "Commander, it is done."
Commander Ikari smirked, and then laughed maniacally. "IT'S ALIVE!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Fuyutski smiled, followed by a well concealed grimace. "Sir we have created your exact clone, except 7/8's your size, female, large busted, and remarkably similar to your wife."
Gendou smiled again. "Yes...Yes...I shall call her...Mini-Me!!"
Fuyutski lifted a brow. "Commander...I don't think that's appropriate."
With a frown, Gendou sighed. "Fine. Then call her Rei, or whatever."
"Certainly Commander." Fuyutski turned toward the blue-haired girl. "Ayanami Rei, you have been born."
"Where the hell did Ayanami come from?"
"Commander!!!"
***
"Ayanami Rei?" Shinji held back tears. "Wasn't I...Wasn't I good enough dad? Wasn't I good enough to carry on the family reputation?"
"Shinji...I don't know how to put this."
Dr. Ritsuko Akagi smiled. "Allow me, Sir."
"Certainly, Dr."
Ritsuko smiled. "Shinji, quite frankly, you suck. You have bad grades, you refuse to pilot an Eva, you are a spineless coward, and you always manage to thwart your father's plans for world domination. Plus...you're just so... unCOOL"
"Oh." Shinji thought for a moment." Who are you again?"
"I'm your father's current whor--girlfriend..."
"Ooh! What happened to Mom?"
"She got sucked into an Eva, moron." Commander Ikari stated. "But back to the original topic. Shinji, Ritsuko is right."
"What if I pilot Eva? Then will I be cool?" Shinji pleaded.
"I guess it's a start. You'll be the Third Child."
"Fine. I'll do it."
***
Ayanami Rei looked over her outfit. Black military uniform, NERV ID badge.
She put on her large glasses with tinted lenses and smiled in an queerly familiar way. "Lookin' sharp."
***
Misato Katsuragi glared at Kaji as he desperately avoided another glimpse down the Major's shirt. "How dare you avoid looking down my shirt! I have a reputation to uphold, here!!"
Shinji sighed as he heard the familiar conversation. Man, Misato sure was a slow cookie. Hadn't she figured out that Kaji liked MEN yet?
His breathing stopped, an he saw her. She was wearing a black uniform, and large glasses, and her blue hair caught his attention. "Man, she is hot!"
Misato looked up. "Oh, right. Shinji, meet your sister Rei, the First Official Eva Pilot."
Shinji smiled a seductive smile. "Hey, baby, want to strengthen our 'family ties'?
Rei lifted a brow. "Um..are you hitting on me?"
Shinji looked deflated for a minute. "Actually, yes."
"Oh. You are aware that I am your sister."
"It's only wrong if you think about it to long. Speaking of long..."
Kaji was threatening to hurl rainbow chunks. "Shinji, you realize you are suggesting incest?! That's immoral, and wrong! And the author of this story hates incest!"
Shinji glowerd. "Man, the people in Angel Sanctuary get to have all the fun. Here we get no incest, no one is openly gay, and the only angel's we have you can't sleep with!"
"I know, Shinji. Life is unfair."
Rei looked thoughtful. "So having intimate relations with someone of the same family as you is...EVIL?"
Misato nodded. Rei grinned. "Well, Shinji...I like things that are--" She put her pinkie up to the corner of her lips, "EVIL."
Shinji smirked. "Did I ever tell you that if you were a sandwich at McDonald's that they'd call you McBeautiful?"
Rei turned to look at him incrediously. "No. Please don't mention it again."
"Yes ma'am."
"Shinji, just so you're clear on this: If you go make out with Rei, it is very similar to making out with your father," Misato said.
"Well, I had this fantasy once--"
"Shinji, I really don't think I want to know."
****
Dark, eerie music played as the boat docked. Shinji and Rei were making out, as Shinji's closest friends, Touji and Kensuke looked on in disgust. Major Misato Katsuragi looked up toward the ramp of the boat as a breathtakingly beautiful red haired girl stepped out of the shadows. Kensuke drooled.
"Hi..." She said huskily. Shinj and Rei looked up, waved, and returned to their previous activities. "I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu, Second Child, and Eva Pilot of Unit 2."
Kensuke stuck out a hand. "And I'm available Friday night."
Asuka looked at him strangely, before turning to the Major. "What's up with those two?" She gestured toward Shinji and Rei.
Misato sighed. "It's not too horrible if you don't think about the fact that they're related TOO much. By the way, that would be Ayanami Rei and Shinji Ikari, the first and Third Children."
Touji looked horrified. "They're related?!"
Misato sighed.
Kensuke leered at Asuka.
***
As Rei was taking a shower, Shinji took a good look at Asuka. 'She's hot.' he thought.
Shinji cleared his throat. "So did it hurt?"
Asuka looked at him awkwardly. "Learning to pilot an Eva?"
"No...I mean when you fell from heaven."
"Ugh."
***
Rei was unhappy. This new girl was a threat to her relationship with her beloved brother Shinji. She pulled up a few files on the girl. A slow smile crept up onto her face as she read a few details that would surely keep Shinji with eyes only for her.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
***
Gendou looked at Rei with interest. "So you are saying that Asuka Langley Sohryu used to be a man?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying, Commander. She claimed to her family that her 'soul had been born in the wrong body'. She still has nightmares about how her mother tried to kill her after the operation."
"Oh dear." said Misato. "We'd better tell Shinji."
***
"Did it hurt?" Shinji asked Asuka.
"You already used that bad pick-up line once, dimwatt."
"No, I mean when you had it cut off."
Soda squirted out of Asuka's nose.
***
"Major!" Maya, a young bridge bunny shouted out to Misato Katsuragi as she walked through the NERV hallways, coffee in hand. "Major, there's an Angel Attack!!"
"Call the Children. Prep the Eva's."
"Yes, ma'am!"
****
Asuka stood, in her plugsuit, next to her Eva, tapping her foot impatiently. "Where the hell are the two other Eva Pilots!" She screeched, at her ropes end.
Misato, too, looked angry. Finally, two flustered Eva pilots rushed up, suited up and ready for action. "Where have you two been?! In the case of an Eva attack, you must stop everything and report at once!"
Rei looked at Misato. "But Misato...You can't just stop. I mean, once you pop, the fun don't stop--"
"I really didn't need to know that," Misato sighed. "But get into your entry plugs. Let's kick some angel ass."
***
Makoto sighed. "Oh Kaji...You know how I like it...."
A knock sounded on the door. Kaji slipped his shirt back on. Opening the door, he gasped in surprise. "Commander? What can we do for you?"
"Turn the god damned intercom OFF, Kaji. We really don't need Yaoi fangirls in our command center."
Makoto blushed. "Yes Sir."
****
Misato sighed. She had really liked Kaji, too. "Alright. Move the Eva's to the Elevator!!"
End Chapter One.
A Shin Seiki Evangelion Fanfiction
by Maayacola
Chapter One: Meet the Team. NERV hits a few nerves.
Deep inside a secret lair, Gendou Ikari was working on a secret project that was so secret even he wasn't exactly sure what it was. But he knew that it was very evil, and very, very secret.
He punched a few buttons in, and Fuyutski cleared his throat. "Commander, it is done."
Commander Ikari smirked, and then laughed maniacally. "IT'S ALIVE!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Fuyutski smiled, followed by a well concealed grimace. "Sir we have created your exact clone, except 7/8's your size, female, large busted, and remarkably similar to your wife."
Gendou smiled again. "Yes...Yes...I shall call her...Mini-Me!!"
Fuyutski lifted a brow. "Commander...I don't think that's appropriate."
With a frown, Gendou sighed. "Fine. Then call her Rei, or whatever."
"Certainly Commander." Fuyutski turned toward the blue-haired girl. "Ayanami Rei, you have been born."
"Where the hell did Ayanami come from?"
"Commander!!!"
***
"Ayanami Rei?" Shinji held back tears. "Wasn't I...Wasn't I good enough dad? Wasn't I good enough to carry on the family reputation?"
"Shinji...I don't know how to put this."
Dr. Ritsuko Akagi smiled. "Allow me, Sir."
"Certainly, Dr."
Ritsuko smiled. "Shinji, quite frankly, you suck. You have bad grades, you refuse to pilot an Eva, you are a spineless coward, and you always manage to thwart your father's plans for world domination. Plus...you're just so... unCOOL"
"Oh." Shinji thought for a moment." Who are you again?"
"I'm your father's current whor--girlfriend..."
"Ooh! What happened to Mom?"
"She got sucked into an Eva, moron." Commander Ikari stated. "But back to the original topic. Shinji, Ritsuko is right."
"What if I pilot Eva? Then will I be cool?" Shinji pleaded.
"I guess it's a start. You'll be the Third Child."
"Fine. I'll do it."
***
Ayanami Rei looked over her outfit. Black military uniform, NERV ID badge.
She put on her large glasses with tinted lenses and smiled in an queerly familiar way. "Lookin' sharp."
***
Misato Katsuragi glared at Kaji as he desperately avoided another glimpse down the Major's shirt. "How dare you avoid looking down my shirt! I have a reputation to uphold, here!!"
Shinji sighed as he heard the familiar conversation. Man, Misato sure was a slow cookie. Hadn't she figured out that Kaji liked MEN yet?
His breathing stopped, an he saw her. She was wearing a black uniform, and large glasses, and her blue hair caught his attention. "Man, she is hot!"
Misato looked up. "Oh, right. Shinji, meet your sister Rei, the First Official Eva Pilot."
Shinji smiled a seductive smile. "Hey, baby, want to strengthen our 'family ties'?
Rei lifted a brow. "Um..are you hitting on me?"
Shinji looked deflated for a minute. "Actually, yes."
"Oh. You are aware that I am your sister."
"It's only wrong if you think about it to long. Speaking of long..."
Kaji was threatening to hurl rainbow chunks. "Shinji, you realize you are suggesting incest?! That's immoral, and wrong! And the author of this story hates incest!"
Shinji glowerd. "Man, the people in Angel Sanctuary get to have all the fun. Here we get no incest, no one is openly gay, and the only angel's we have you can't sleep with!"
"I know, Shinji. Life is unfair."
Rei looked thoughtful. "So having intimate relations with someone of the same family as you is...EVIL?"
Misato nodded. Rei grinned. "Well, Shinji...I like things that are--" She put her pinkie up to the corner of her lips, "EVIL."
Shinji smirked. "Did I ever tell you that if you were a sandwich at McDonald's that they'd call you McBeautiful?"
Rei turned to look at him incrediously. "No. Please don't mention it again."
"Yes ma'am."
"Shinji, just so you're clear on this: If you go make out with Rei, it is very similar to making out with your father," Misato said.
"Well, I had this fantasy once--"
"Shinji, I really don't think I want to know."
****
Dark, eerie music played as the boat docked. Shinji and Rei were making out, as Shinji's closest friends, Touji and Kensuke looked on in disgust. Major Misato Katsuragi looked up toward the ramp of the boat as a breathtakingly beautiful red haired girl stepped out of the shadows. Kensuke drooled.
"Hi..." She said huskily. Shinj and Rei looked up, waved, and returned to their previous activities. "I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu, Second Child, and Eva Pilot of Unit 2."
Kensuke stuck out a hand. "And I'm available Friday night."
Asuka looked at him strangely, before turning to the Major. "What's up with those two?" She gestured toward Shinji and Rei.
Misato sighed. "It's not too horrible if you don't think about the fact that they're related TOO much. By the way, that would be Ayanami Rei and Shinji Ikari, the first and Third Children."
Touji looked horrified. "They're related?!"
Misato sighed.
Kensuke leered at Asuka.
***
As Rei was taking a shower, Shinji took a good look at Asuka. 'She's hot.' he thought.
Shinji cleared his throat. "So did it hurt?"
Asuka looked at him awkwardly. "Learning to pilot an Eva?"
"No...I mean when you fell from heaven."
"Ugh."
***
Rei was unhappy. This new girl was a threat to her relationship with her beloved brother Shinji. She pulled up a few files on the girl. A slow smile crept up onto her face as she read a few details that would surely keep Shinji with eyes only for her.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
***
Gendou looked at Rei with interest. "So you are saying that Asuka Langley Sohryu used to be a man?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying, Commander. She claimed to her family that her 'soul had been born in the wrong body'. She still has nightmares about how her mother tried to kill her after the operation."
"Oh dear." said Misato. "We'd better tell Shinji."
***
"Did it hurt?" Shinji asked Asuka.
"You already used that bad pick-up line once, dimwatt."
"No, I mean when you had it cut off."
Soda squirted out of Asuka's nose.
***
"Major!" Maya, a young bridge bunny shouted out to Misato Katsuragi as she walked through the NERV hallways, coffee in hand. "Major, there's an Angel Attack!!"
"Call the Children. Prep the Eva's."
"Yes, ma'am!"
****
Asuka stood, in her plugsuit, next to her Eva, tapping her foot impatiently. "Where the hell are the two other Eva Pilots!" She screeched, at her ropes end.
Misato, too, looked angry. Finally, two flustered Eva pilots rushed up, suited up and ready for action. "Where have you two been?! In the case of an Eva attack, you must stop everything and report at once!"
Rei looked at Misato. "But Misato...You can't just stop. I mean, once you pop, the fun don't stop--"
"I really didn't need to know that," Misato sighed. "But get into your entry plugs. Let's kick some angel ass."
***
Makoto sighed. "Oh Kaji...You know how I like it...."
A knock sounded on the door. Kaji slipped his shirt back on. Opening the door, he gasped in surprise. "Commander? What can we do for you?"
"Turn the god damned intercom OFF, Kaji. We really don't need Yaoi fangirls in our command center."
Makoto blushed. "Yes Sir."
****
Misato sighed. She had really liked Kaji, too. "Alright. Move the Eva's to the Elevator!!"
End Chapter One.