Chapter One

It was raining pretty heavily by the time Jesse got home.

The thick drops pelted the pavement; the rhythmic sound almost soothing as the first faint roll of thunder could be heard in the distance. He wasn't sure why he had chosen to walk home from the office instead of taking the subway or a taxi. Heck, he couldn't even remember leaving the office but he must have done as he was almost at his front door.

And he was late.

He fumbled for the keys in his pocket, his fingers numbed with cold and his clumsiness apparent as he swept the overly large bunch of keys, decorations and rings free from his rain mac pocket, one catching on a loose thread. He tugged it free, snagging and tearing the inside pocket slightly.

He hated the stupid, bright red raincoat with matching hood that Beca had insisted he take every day citing the possibility of a rain shower. He felt stupid carrying it to work every day even in the summer but she was right, as usual, the sudden evening downpour catching him by surprise but he'd never tell her that. In fact, he'd never tell her whenever she was right, which was most of the time. He couldn't actually stand the quiet roll of her eyes and the oh-so-tiny smirk that plastered itself to her mouth when it dawned on him that he was wrong.

He was a bloke; he wasn't supposed to get it right!

They had gotten married ten years ago, two years after graduating from Barden in a beautiful and quiet ceremony surrounded by their friends. Life for the most part was good, better than good actually. Sure, they had their fair share of arguments, heated discussions and fights but it only served to remind them both that they had differing opinions and ideas. Which was hardly a bad thing.

Beca had sacrificed a barely started career in Los Angeles to move to a suburb just outside of New Jersey for Jesse's work. It was a bold move for the young couple and Jesse's career of scoring movies was working well. Beca had willingly followed Jesse but the move across the country from Los Angeles had been hard on her. Leaving behind her tight-knit group of college friends nearly broke her but within a year, one of her best friends, Aubrey, had moved to New York for a placement within a lawyer firm and that had helped Beca settle more. Chloe visited at least once a month or as time allowed as her boyfriend at the time worked on Wall Street.

Having the children helped too. Two boys arrived first, just over a year apart and eighteen months later, Teddy and Josh were presented with their little sister, Anna. Having lost most of her teenage snark, Beca threw herself into motherhood and the house was always full of noise, music, singing, laughter and warmth.

Jesse loved coming home on a cold day to be greeted by three brown, curly haired children who always stayed up way past their bed time to see him if he was late coming home from work. And of course to his wife who more often than not had waited to have dinner with him, something which they would always try to do together and talk about their day.

The dog, a large mutt with a red collar, would sit patiently by the front door for Jesse to walk him after dinner. Rupert loved the children, despite being used as a horse on occasion. He would sleep on the landing outside of their bedrooms and guard his little charges at night.

On a Saturday, Jesse and Rupert would take the children to the park and play with a ball, ride the swings or their little bikes, leaving Beca to have a couple of hours to herself. Saturday evenings were spent with friends followed by lazy Sunday mornings reading the papers in bed with the children and eating a very unhealthy breakfast. No one got dressed until noon and then games and play were the order of the afternoon until movie night, Jesse's favourite time of the weekend. It was a happy home and a very contented life, almost idyllic and they worked hard at being a connected and loving family.

That is, until the big fight occurred.

Jesse's fingers faltered with the keys in the lock. Recently, they had never seemed to fit properly yet Beca managed to get hers to work in their red front door every single time. She had always smirked and told him to move aside, joking good-naturedly with the children and asking why she kept him around as he protested that it wasn't his fault that his key was wonky.

He couldn't remember the last time that teasing had happened now as he stood under the shelter of his porch of their three-storey town house. The children occupied the top floor but the basement was all his; his man cave that even Beca wouldn't venture into. He kept all of his work down there, old tracks, unfinished scores and all of his ideas boards. He had offered to share the space with her but her dreams of mixing had been put on hold and she rarely went into the basement, usually stating that the place freaked her out.

'Damn!' Jesse thought as he dropped his keys for the second time. He would have to leave a note for Beca to get a new set of keys cut for him because these were simply not working anymore.

And leaving notes seemed to be the only way they were communicating at the moment. Jesse couldn't remember the last time they had sat down and shared a dinner together, talking over the day. He certainly couldn't recall the last time they had properly actually spoken words. And it was six months at least since they had last slept together. He'd give anything to just sit and hold hands again while watching a movie, or tuck her hair behind her ears or just watch as she busied herself around their home.

He walked round to the back door, knowing that the left French door was easy to open even if it was locked. It just required a little push to the bottom corner with a foot and it would slide open. Idly, Jesse made a mental note about that. He really should get it fixed though, despite this coming in particularly handy right now. While they lived in a safe area, his concern was with his family's safety and wellbeing.

He stepped through the door, remembering to take off his rain jacket and shake it outside before stepping into the living room. It was dark in there; no lamps were on and the television was blank. He popped the door shut, hearing the click fall into place. He turned and was startled to see Beca curled up on one of their oversized sofas, fast asleep and shivering.

Despite the fact that she had stopped speaking to him six months ago, he still loved her desperately and seeing her small frame shaking with the cold broke his heart. He wished with everything he had that she would tell him what he had done wrong so he could fix it and they could get back to their warm, happy, loving home that had always smelt of cookies and popcorn. They had agreed when they got married and especially after having three children that they would work hard on their marriage and wouldn't become one of the statistics and give up.

Jesse saw that the red, fleecy blanket that usually adorned the back of the sofa was tightly wrapped around her, carefully tucked in so no gap was open to let the cool air in. The heating was on so he wasn't sure why she was so cold and wondered if she was coming down with something. He mentally ran through his work load, trying to figure out if he could afford to take a couple of days off to give her a break. He rarely felt the cold anyway but the heating must have been faulty as he could see the breath coming out of her mouth.

He was surprised why she was downstairs, asleep on the sofa though. Usually these days, when he got home from work, she was upstairs in bed when he got home, having gone to bed with the dog for company. Since their fight, the dog had slept in their room and usually growled quietly at Jesse when he passed him by to slip into the ensuite bathroom. He would try so hard not to disturb her as he slipped under the blankets next to her, knowing that if he woke her, it could start an argument about the lateness of his coming home. She rarely acknowledged his presence in the house nowadays, maybe a comment or two would be flung in his direction, half the time he couldn't hear what was being said; the words muttered or mumbled.

He wished he could remember what they were fighting about.

He stood looking at her for a moment or two and was actually startled when her eyes snapped open in the semi darkness. She looked dazed and confused for a few moments, staring right through him as the cloak of sleep slipped off of her.

"Hi." Jesse said, cocking his head slightly. "Can we talk?"

Beca shivered, despite the blanket and ran her hand over her face, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She looked towards the French doors and sighed. Jesse knew she knew that he had come through the door and was probably just checking to make sure he had closed it properly. He wasn't irked at that; it was just Beca's way of securing the house.

Beca sung her legs over the sofa, pulling the blanket from her shoulders and sitting up. She stuffed her feet into her slippers as she rolled the blanket up, tucking it into the side of the sofa.

"You're here then." She said simply to the room, gathering up her book that had fallen to the floor and her glass from the coffee table before standing up. "Earlier than usual Jess."

"Can we talk? Please? I'm sorry I'm late." Jesse asked, not wanting to beg. He reached out a hand to touch her shoulder but she had already stood and walked away from him. He took a minute in the living room before following her into the kitchen.

She was standing by the sink on the other side of the island. She was staring into the small garden that housed a simple swing set for the kids, a large decking area with a BBQ and a few pots full of pretty flowers.

"Beca? Please tell me what I did so I can make it better." Jesse said, slotting his hands on his hips.

Beca continued to stand by the sink, watching the rain run down the windowpane before startling. She crossed over to the kitchen notice board which housed all of the school notices, club and social groups times and dates, any correspondence that needed answering as well as the condensed list of telephone numbers for their friends and family. The small whiteboard also on the wall kept their list of 'to do' jobs organised. He watched her write on it; a short text to remind her to fix the back door.

She turned to walk out of the kitchen, wrapping her cardigan around her and not meeting his eye despite him staring right at her. She passed through the door, pausing slightly on the other side as if she wanted to say something before walking to the stairs. She climbed the first three before she stopped with her hand on the banister.

"I don't really mind you being here but part of me wants you to just leave." Beca spoke softly, raising her eyes upwards towards the ceiling.

"Beca ... I -" Jesse said, walking towards her but she had already gone upstairs by the time he reached the bottom of the flight of steps. He sighed in frustration, locking his eyes up the stairs in case she came back. When she didn't, he returned to the kitchen to find something to eat. He hadn't had much of an appetite and had lost a lot of weight since they had fallen out but Beca did at least leave a plate of food for him in the fridge every night. It had been the same thing every day for six months and he knew she still loved him because the meal was his favourite food, but whatever he had done to upset her so much, he would need to put right.

And soon.