Kylie was standing on a chair in the Riveras' living room, wearing a little black dress, with Beth standing behind her and tugging at the skirt. On the ground was an open and disordered sewing box.

'Are you sure it's not too short?' said Beth.

'What if I thought it was?' said Kylie. 'You can't exactly put back what you've cut off.'

'Yes I can,' said Beth. 'I mean, obviously there'd have to be a seam, but I could make a feature of it. Do you want me to?'

'No, that's fine. It's supposed to be a little black dress, isn't it? I don't mind my thighs being a feature instead.'

'Well, why would you? You certainly have the figure for it.'

'Beth, stop it,' Kylie tittered. 'Can I get down now?'

'Yes,' said Beth, 'if the fit feels good.'

'It feels great,' said Kylie, hopping down from the chair just as the front door opened, admitting Carl, Kevin and Eduardo. The phone started ringing in the hallway, so Kevin went to answer it, while Eduardo and Carl made their way into the living room.

'Hi, hon,' said Beth. 'Hi, Eduardo.'

'Wow,' said Eduardo, crossing the room in two strides and taking Kylie into his arms. 'So this is what you were doing? I take back what I said – it was totally worth the wait.'

'Eduardo, not here,' Kylie giggled, as he stooped to nuzzle her.

Carl frowned at them, and said, 'What exactly have you been doing?'

'I made a little black dress out of your old tuxedo, hon,' said Beth.

'Why?' said Carl.

'Why not?' said Eduardo, who was slipping his hands into two dinner jacket pockets on the seat of Kylie's skirt. 'I think it's a great idea.'

'Beth asked me if I thought it was too short,' said Kylie. 'What do you think, sweetie?'

'Even Beth can say crazy things sometimes,' said Eduardo, taking his hands out of the pockets and moving them down to the hem of the skirt.

Carl was still frowning at them, but looked away at this point, only to see that Beth was watching them rather wistfully. He then began to look uncomfortable, and barked at Eduardo, 'Can't you control yourself for five minutes?'

'Look at this,' said Kylie, smacking Eduardo lightly away, then turning round and lifting her hair to reveal the back of her neck. 'Beth turned the bow tie into a halter neck. Isn't that genius?'

'I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'Depends how hard it is to untie.'

'Not very.'

'Then yes, it's genius. The back's low, isn't it? Beth, did you even make a built-in bra?'

'Oh, it's nothing,' Beth smiled modestly.

'It is not nothing,' said Kylie. 'It's giving me all the support I need. Don't you think so, Carl?' she added, with a mischievous grin.

Carl looked uncomfortable, but was saved from the situation by Kevin coming in to say, 'Lucy says her dad doesn't trust her with us unless there's another girl here to sleep in the spare room with her.'

'What's this?' asked Beth.

'Dad said I could have a sleepover with Jandro and Lucy,' said Kevin.

'Did he now?' said Beth, frowning slightly. 'And when will that be?'

'Friday night,' said Kevin. 'I'd have asked you first, Mom, only when Dad showed up to bring me home from school it just kind of came up, and... I mean, are you okay with it?'

'Maybe,' said Beth. 'Will it just be the three of you? Oh, wait, if you're inviting another girl...'

'Well,' Kevin said uncomfortably, 'the thing about that is, I asked Lucy who she wanted, and she said nobody really but Ella was the best of a bad bunch, and I don't think I can have Ella here without having Michael – it'd only cause trouble.'

'So there'll be five kids here on Friday night?' said Beth.

'I haven't asked Michael or Ella yet,' said Kevin, 'but yeah, probably. Um... if that's okay.'

'You won't even know they're here, Beth,' said Carl. 'Well... I guess you'll know they're here, but you won't have to do anything for them. It's not like they're six – they can amuse themselves and everything. Right, Kevin?'

'Absolutely,' said Kevin.

'They'll have to eat, Carl,' said Beth, 'and they'll need clean bed linen, and I'll have to dust and vacuum the whole house – I'm not having Kevin's friends think I don't care about my carpet.'

'Oh, Beth, this house looks beautiful!' said Kylie, who had just succeeded in extricating herself from Eduardo's arms. 'You don't have to clean it any more than you usually do, and like Carl says, the kids can take care of themselves. In fact, you know what you and I should do on Friday night? We should go out!'

'What?' said Beth.

'What?' said Carl.

'Doesn't that sound good, Beth?' said Kylie. 'We'll christen the dress on a night out with the girls.'

'Who are the girls?' Carl asked suspiciously.

'Well,' Kylie considered, 'I could ask T'Keyah and Janine.'

'I hardly know either of them,' said Beth, 'but at least if we bring Janine with us I won't feel like I'm out with my daughters.'

'So you'll do it?' said Kylie.

'Yes,' said Beth, 'I will!'

'Good for you, Mom,' said Kevin. 'I think it's a great idea. What's the dress about, anyway?'

'Your mom made it,' said Eduardo.

'No way!' said Kevin. 'You did? Mom, that's really clever – it's great! Kylie, you look great.'

'Thank you, Kevin,' said Kylie.

'That's sweet of you, honey,' said Beth. 'Do you want something, or do you mean it?'

'I really mean it, Mom,' said Kevin. 'Anyway, I already got what I wanted. I'd better go call Michael and invite him and Ella.'

Beaming, Kevin turned and made his way to the phone in the hallway, while Eduardo resumed his attempt to seduce Kylie in the middle of the living room.

'Well,' said Kylie, making no attempt to resist him, 'I'd better be going. Bye!'

The word was barely out of her mouth before Eduardo had propelled her out of the room, through the front door and then past the window, by which time they were kissing deeply and he was already making a start on her bow tie fastening. This left Carl and Beth standing in the living room in awkward silence. Then Carl noticed something.

'She left her real clothes here,' he said.

Beth frowned. 'That dress I made is real clothes.'

'I mean her regular clothes,' said Carl.

'Well, she won't miss them for a while. I'll take them up just before dinner if no one's come to fetch them by then.'

'Beth, listen,' Carl said awkwardly, 'do you really have to go out on Friday night? I know I shouldn't have said yes to Kevin without asking you, but I just didn't think. I was trying to be a good father.'

'Carl,' said Beth, 'I know you know that being a good father doesn't mean saying yes to everything.'

'Yeah, I know that. It's just that the idea came up, like he said, and somehow I couldn't say no.'

'You weren't supposed to say no – you were supposed to say he'd have to ask me. I'll bet you were expecting me to cook and clean up after them, weren't you?'

'I didn't really think about it.'

'That's because you just assumed I'd do it.'

'I'm sorry, Beth.'

'You can't just go through life being sorry all the time,' said Beth. 'You... we have to see what we're doing wrong and try to fix it. You said two months ago that you knew one dinner couldn't fix things, but I haven't noticed you trying very hard since you finished making love to me for the first time since Kevin was at rehearsals for his old school's farewell concert!'

'Oh Jesus,' said Kevin, turning round in the doorway as abruptly as he had appeared there.

'Hold that thought,' said Beth, and went chasing after her son. She stopped him on the stairs. 'Did you want to say something, honey?'

'Not really,' said Kevin, looking at his feet. 'I just wanted to tell Dad that Michael and Ella are on board.'

'I'll tell him,' said Beth, and made her way back to the living room.

'I heard,' Carl said when she arrived. 'And you're forgetting that day just before Thanksgiving.'

'I'm what?' said Beth. 'Oh... that day. Well, it's still not much, is it? And I seem to remember you weren't all that enthusiastic about it.'

'What do you mean – like my oversexed idiot kid brother? Well, I'm sorry I'm not twenty-one anymore!'

'I don't want you to be twenty-one anymore!'

'Then what do you want?' said Carl. 'I'm trying here!'

'I know you are,' said Beth, calming herself quickly. 'Look, I'm sorry. The only thing you've really done wrong is to invite a bunch of kids to stay the night without asking me, and you know that. It's just that this house is so high maintenance, and you seem to take it for granted that it'll always be clean and there'll be dinner on the table. I don't think you appreciate what hard work it is, and then everything just gets eaten and gets dirty again, and it's so repetitive.'

'I appreciate it, Beth,' Carl said gently. 'I really do.'

'It's probably my fault, anyway. I told you I wanted a change, but I haven't done anything about it.'

'Yes, well... you'll have a change on Friday night, won't you? And I'll have to run around after those five kids. Jesus... five!'

Beth smiled, and said, 'You won't have to run anywhere. I'm sure they're very tidy, and like you said, they can amuse themselves. I suppose I could even cook, or at least get something started – it'll probably be around dinnertime when we leave.'

'No,' said Carl, 'don't do that. I'd feel bad. I'll let them order pizza.'

Kevin, Jandro, Lucy, Michael and Ella were all sitting in front of the TV, stuffing themselves with pizza, when the front doorbell rang. Beth ran downstairs to answer it, dressed for a night out and looking most unlike her usual self.

'Hi, Beth,' said Kylie, who was of course wearing the tuxedo dress.

'Hi, Beth,' added Eduardo, who was standing behind Kylie with his arms around her waist. 'Wow, you look hot.'

'Thank you, Eduardo,' said Beth.

Carl's head popped out of the kitchen door and frowned, while a mass of inquisitive adolescents trickled out of the living room.

'Hi, guys,' said Eduardo.

'Hi, Eduardo,' Lucy and Jandro said together.

'Hi,' said Ella, leaning against the door frame and giving Eduardo an appraising look. Michael noticed this, and frowned in much the same way as Carl was doing.

'You guys don't know my Uncle Eduardo,' said Kevin. 'That's him, and Kylie, his girlfriend. You guys, this is Ella and Mike... Michael... Mike.'

'Michael,' said Michael, shooting daggers at Eduardo before disappearing back into the living room.

'Killer dress, Kylie,' said Ella.

'Thank you, Ella,' said Kylie. 'Beth made it.'

'No kidding.' Ella looked at Beth. 'Could you make me one?'

'Maybe when you're old enough for that kind of thing,' said Beth.

'I'll be too old to wear this by then,' said Kylie. 'If you remind me, I'll give it to you. All right, Beth, say goodbye – we're leaving.'

'Bye, everyone,' said Beth.

'Bye, Mom,' said Kevin.

'Bye, Beth,' said Lucy and Jandro.

'Have fun,' said Carl, stooping to give his wife a peck on the cheek, and by the time he came up again Kylie and Eduardo were embracing passionately in the doorway. Ella watched them with interest for some moments, then sauntered back into the living room.

'Leaving, are we?' Beth said wryly.

'Yes,' said Kylie, once she had successfully prised her lips away from Eduardo's. 'I'll see you later, sweetie. Or maybe tomorrow. Don't wait up,' she added, with a facetious grin at Carl, before grabbing Beth's wrist and dragging her out into the night.

Eduardo turned to leave, but stopped when Carl barked, 'Eddie.'

'Are you talking to me, Carlos?' said Eduardo.

'Of course I'm talking to you. Look... would you mind staying? Just in case they... I don't know...'

'What, suddenly go crazy or something?'

Carl frowned at him, and said, 'They seem to like you.'

'They have very good taste,' said Eduardo, strolling through the doorway. 'They could like you too, you know, if you'd let them.'

'One step at a time, huh?' said Carl. 'I'm still working on getting my own son to like me.'

'Oh, Carl,' said Eduardo, with a heavy sigh. 'Okay, fine, I'll stay for a while.'

Kylie, Beth, Janine and T'Keyah made their way into a noisy bar and pushed their way through the drunken crowds until they found an empty table in the corner.

'I'll get the first round of drinks,' Kylie shouted over the noise, as the other three sat down. 'What'll it be?'

'I'll have a Virgin Mary,' said T'Keyah.

'Me too,' said Janine.

Kylie gave her a look. 'Oh yes?'

'I hope,' said Janine, 'this isn't the kind of girls' night where we get pressured into drinking alcohol if we don't want to.'

'No way,' said T'Keyah. 'That stuff is like totally poisonous. No one's gonna pressure anyone while I'm around.'

'Whatever you say, Dr Adenuga,' said Kylie. She looked at Beth. 'What about you, Beth?'

'Um...' said Beth. 'Are you drinking?'

Kylie laughed. 'You're such a conformist!'

'Well,' said Beth, 'I don't want to be the only one.'

'All right, I'll drink with you,' said Kylie. 'What do you want?'

'I'll have a vodka Martini,' said Beth.

'Okay,' said Kylie, and trotted off towards the bar.

'She's keen,' T'Keyah remarked to the other two, 'just like she was when she invited me. What is this in aid of, anyway? I mean, we never do this. Okay, we all know Kylie, but the three of us barely know each other!'

'To be honest,' said Beth, 'I think she's getting back at my husband on my behalf.'

'How come?' said T'Keyah. 'What's he done?'

'Nothing, really,' said Beth. 'Well, he did a small thing, but it'll sound stupid if I tell you. Anyway, I've forgotten about that now. It's not the reason I'm here.'

'But it is the reason Kylie's here?' asked Janine.

'I don't know,' said Beth. 'I like to think it's mostly because she wanted to break in the dress.'

'You made that, right?' said T'Keyah.

Beth nodded. 'Out of a tuxedo.'

'Wow,' said T'Keyah. 'You got some skills, girl.'

'Yeah, that's pretty impressive,' said Janine. 'Maybe you could try selling some of the stuff you make – it might turn into something really big.'

'Not starting the smutty talk without me, are you?' said Kylie, sliding into the seat beside Beth.

'We wouldn't do that,' said T'Keyah. 'I'll just bet you want to hear all the smutty talk about Roland, don't you, Kylie?'

'Part of me does and part of me doesn't,' said Kylie.

'And which parts would those be?' asked Janine, making Kylie and T'Keyah giggle, just as a handsome young waiter appeared with their drinks.

When he had gone, Kylie nudged Beth with her elbow, and said bracingly, 'You okay? You're not laughing at the smutty humour.'

'It's just that it's a long time since I did this,' said Beth. 'Is there really going to be that kind of talk about Roland and... everyone?'

'No,' said T'Keyah, with a reassuring smile. 'Don't worry – this isn't Sex and the City.'

'It's not completely unlike it, though,' Kylie remarked. 'I mean, if any of us happened to have any news about our relationships or anything...'

'Is that directed at anyone in particular?' Beth asked warily.

'Yes,' said Janine. 'Me. Right, Kylie?'

Kylie shrugged. 'No pressure. It's none of my business, really.' She took a sip of her drink.

'Yes, well,' said Janine, 'if you must know, your stereotyping and leaping to conclusions just happens to be correct this time. I am pregnant.'

Kylie grinned, wiped away a foam moustache with the back of her hand and said, 'I knew it!'

'Oh, congratulations!' said Beth, getting out of her seat to fling her arms around Janine. 'It'll be the most wonderful thing that happens to you, I promise. God, I'm so jealous!'

'Really?' said Kylie, giving Beth a look as she sat back down.

'Well,' said Beth, 'no, not really. But I sometimes wish I could go back to when Kevin was a baby.'

'You weren't keeping it a secret, were you, Janine?' asked T'Keyah. 'I mean, your parents know and everything? And Egon knows, right? He must – you wouldn't have told us!'

'You're right,' said Janine, 'I wouldn't. Don't worry, they all know. And you guys can tell other people if you want.'

'That means Garrett'll be the last to know,' said Kylie. 'He won't like that.'

T'Keyah looked at Kylie and said, 'I hope you don't assume I'm pregnant too.'

'No,' said Kylie. 'God, how complicated would that make things? Wait... you're not, are you?'

'Not as far as I know,' said T'Keyah. 'Probably not. I hope not!'

'It's you that's going to medical school in the fall, isn't it?' said Beth.

'Yep,' said T'Keyah. 'Two and a half thousand miles away from where Roland's going.'

'Really?' said Beth. 'You're splitting up so you can study in different places? Really? Well, that's... independent.'

'We're not splitting up,' said T'Keyah. 'We're trying long-distance. I think it'll work,' she added.

'So do I,' said Kylie, waving a waiter over, as she had just drained the last of her cocktail.

'Kevin's uncle's hot, isn't he?' said Ella, sweeping into the Riveras' spare bedroom wearing only underpants and a tight-fitting vest.

'Um,' said Lucy, looking away uncomfortably. She was kneeling on a mattress on the floor, brushing her hair and wearing a full set of long-limbed pyjamas. 'I hadn't really thought about it.'

'So why not think about it now?' Ella grinned at her, climbing into the actual bed that was beside the mattress. 'Hey, you wanna get a pencil and see how much our boobs have grown?'

'I can tell you right now that mine wouldn't hold a pencil, Ella.'

'No, I guess not. No offence. But you've started your period, right? I've seen you in the restroom with your little bag and everything.'

'Ella, God!' said Lucy. 'Is this really what girls talk about at sleepovers?'

'Oh, I don't know,' Ella said, just as a colossal crashing sound came reverberating through the wall. She giggled. 'What are those boys doing in there?'

'I don't know and I don't want to know,' said Lucy.

'No? Well, I guess you're right – it'll just be some stupid caveman behaviour. So, come on, which one of those two guys do you like – Kevin or Alejandrrrrro?'

'I like both of them,' said Lucy. 'They're my friends.'

Ella gave her a look. 'Are you sure they're both just friends?'

'Of course I'm sure. And by the way, you're being unfair to Kevin – he's just as Hispanic and just as white as "Alejandro" is.'

'Oh, so it's Kevin you like?'

'No.'

'So it's Jandro?'

'Ella, come on!' said Lucy. 'Can't you think of anything better to talk about than boys?'

'So you're a lesbian?'

'Ella! I'm thirteen!'

'So am I,' said Ella, 'and I have a boyfriend.'

'I know,' said Lucy. 'How long have you guys been an item, anyway?'

'Since the summer before sixth grade.'

'So you were like eleven when you got together?'

'Yeah,' said Ella. 'Almost twelve. You got a problem with that?'

'No,' said Lucy. 'It's just... well, interesting, I guess. You were getting into that kind of thing at eleven, and I'm still not even thinking about it.'

'Really?' said Ella. 'Not even thinking about it?'

'Not even thinking about it.'

'Oh, come on. There must be somebody you like. Not even a real person – just like a movie star or something. What about Leonardo DiCaprio?'

'To be honest,' said Lucy, 'I think Leo's already starting to lose his looks a little.'

'Oh yeah, I guess you're right,' said Ella. 'That didn't last long, did it? But you think he was hot?'

'I don't know... maybe a little.'

'Who else?'

'Well,' said Lucy, 'I kind of like Spike.'

'From Buffy?' said Ella. 'You're right – he's so hot! I mean, if I saw him, I'd be like, you can suck my blood any time, and I'll suck your –'

'Ella!' Lucy squeaked. 'I don't like talking about that kind of thing.'

'Why not?'

'Well, for one thing, I don't really understand very much about it. And you don't either – not really.'

'You don't know that,' said Ella. 'And I'll bet you want to understand, don't you? Just a little bit? Come on, admit it!'

'If my dad could hear you,' said Lucy, 'he'd wish he'd let me bunk with the boys.'

Just as she finished saying this, another loud crashing sound shook the house.

Carl put down his mug of coffee, frowned up at the ceiling and said, 'What the hell are those boys doing up there?'

'I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'Something sexual, probably.'

Carl glared at him across the breakfast bar.

'Well,' said Eduardo, 'what do you want me to say?'

'Maybe they're fighting.'

'And that'd make you happy, would it?'

Carl frowned. 'I didn't have to give you any of my coffee, you know.'

'I know,' said Eduardo. 'I'm glad you did – it's very good.'

'It's only instant,' said Carl. 'So, listen, are you really okay with Kylie going out like that?'

'Like what?'

'Oh, you know... with her legs and everything.'

'I trust her not to hook up,' said Eduardo, 'if that's what you mean. Or are you suggesting I have some right to tell her how to dress?'

'Of course not,' said Carl. 'That would be unreasonable, wouldn't it?'

'Yes.'

'So what do women do on these nights out, anyway?' Carl persisted. 'Do they really complain about their husbands and boyfriends like they do on TV?'

'I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'I bet Beth wouldn't complain about you, though, even if the others were doing it about theirs.'

'She might.'

'If she had a problem with you, she'd talk to you about it.'

'She already did,' said Carl, 'but it didn't get solved. Look, I'm not giving you any details...'

'Good.'

'But it's not just that I invited all Kevin's friends and acquaintances here without asking her, and it's not just because she's bored. Oh, wait... you didn't know about that one.'

'Yeah,' said Eduardo, 'I did.'

Carl stared at him in astonishment. 'How did you know?'

'Me and Beth talk a lot when I come to do my laundry. She told me that she's been feeling less fulfilled since she realised how independent Kevin's getting – but she doesn't blame you for that.'

'Did she tell you that?'

'Yeah, she said it's her own fault that she doesn't know what to do with herself.'

'Jesus,' said Carl. 'What else has she told you?'

'Nothing else about your marriage,' said Eduardo. 'Last time, we talked about Kevin's Spanish class and she gave me some tips on how to wash delicate bras.'

'See, this is exactly my problem!' said Carl. 'The world's moving too fast for me. When I was your age, men didn't talk about bras, and women didn't talk about them either when men were around!'

'Oh,' said Eduardo. 'Does it, um... happen often now?'

'All the time,' said Carl. 'You're always bringing them up.'

'I am?'

'Yes! You did it just now, and when you first saw Kylie in that dress, you asked Beth if it had a "built-in bra". I didn't even know there was any such thing! Then Kylie asked me what I thought about it, but I think she only did that to embarrass me, didn't she?'

'Probably,' said Eduardo, smiling behind his coffee mug. 'Did it work?'

'Yes.'

'Well... I'm sorry, okay? I'll try not to mention bras if it makes you uncomfortable. And I'll ask Kylie not to embarrass you.'

'No, don't do that,' said Carl. 'She doesn't need any more ammunition.'

'What do you mean?'

'She's always baiting me. Look, don't get upset,' he said hastily, when he saw that Eduardo was doing just that. 'I know you'll always defend her over me, and maybe you're right. You probably have a million reasons why I deserve everything I get.'

'You don't get much,' said Eduardo. 'Not from Kylie, anyway. You just don't understand each other.'

'Right,' said Carl. 'She's from a world where everyone talks openly about women's underwear and being a housewife is as bad as being – I don't know – in jail or something.'

'That's not what she thinks,' said Eduardo. 'You don't know what she thinks, Carlos.'

'Yes, well, I have some idea what she thinks of me,' said Carl. 'I'll bet they are talking about us, you know. You and me and that Spengler person and... the other girl's going out with that big black guy friend of yours, isn't she? They're probably discussing how unreasonable I am, and how wonderful you are, and... and who is and isn't circumcised or something.'

'Carlos,' said Eduardo, putting down his empty coffee mug and getting to his feet. 'Seriously. I don't think you should watch Sex and the City anymore.'