"Rachel hurry up!" "I'm coming dad. I just have a few things to take care of." I look around my room, it's empty. Although I am almost certain that Jordan will soon be moving her things in. I sigh, by tomorrow, or maybe even later today this room will be hers.
"Rachel." I was tired, "what?" I snapped at Sarah. Her eyes filled with salty tears, "nothing I guess." She mumbled before running off.
Tobias said he was coming over tonight. What will he think when he sees the walls are bare. What will he do if he sees a girl in a bed tat is not me. Will they understand. Will Cassie ever forgive me? One day, one day I will explain. I had no choice. Yes, that's what I'll tell them. They made me go. Yes, yes they'll understand that. But Tobias won't, he'll say, why didn't you even say good bye?
"Rachel, do you want to come to the zoo with us?" My mother asked. Sarah and Jordan were getting the coats. The zoo, sounded good, but the mission. "I can't mum, I'm going over Cassie's." Her eyes fell, "ok sweetie."
"Rachel!" "Yes dad, I'm coming." I run down the stairs, it doesn't matter. I tell myself. I won't even see them again. Unless Jake gets dad's phone number off his dad. He'll call and say, why did you leave Rachel. Why did you leave us to fight? I'd just hang up, yes, that's what I'd do, no need to even listen. But then he'd call back. I can't handle it anymore Jake. That's what I'd tell him. I'm scared of myself. But he wouldn't understand.
"Rachel can you help me with my math?" Jordan looked at me expectantly. "What do I look like, a calculator?" I turned and stormed off. "I'll help you." Tom says.
Tobias. I'm sorry. I cried out to him in my mind. Would he wonder why? Would he blame himself? Would he hate me? No, he would brood silently, inside. I'm so sorry Tobias. You understand don't you? I couldn't handle it. One more fight and I would have snapped. I had to go, had to.
Sarah was crying, she'd cut her knee. "Are you ok?" I lent towards her, she flinched, like I was going to hit her. She was scared of me.
The front door, this is it. The second I step out there would be no turning back.
"I can't find Sally-sue." Sarah wailed. "Oh grow up, it's only a doll." I tell her. Tears run down her cheeks. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" She screams. She runs to her room. Jordan looks at me, "you've changed Rachel. For the worse."
Marco, what would he say? He wouldn't be like the others. He wouldn't wonder why, he'd know why. She saw herself. She saw what she was. That's what he'd say, she didn't like what she saw, so she ran away. No, no, no. It's more than that. So much more. But Jake, he's not running. He's not leaving the country. I'm so sorry.
Jordan came threw the door, she was happy, "it was so much fun!" She exclaims, "can I come next time?" Sarah asks, Jordan smiled, "of course. I was leaving for the barn, I didn't even bother to ask were she'd been.
"Rachel! You have five minutes in counting!" I step threw the door. "Finally" dad says. Mum gives me a hug, she is crying. "I'll miss you." She whispered, "I'll miss you too." I whisper back.
"Dad?" I twirl the phone cord around my finger, "I was wondering, is it ok if I came to live with you for a while? Mum says it's ok."
You'd be better of with out me. That's what I'll say when the others find me, much better off.
"Are you ok Rach?" Cassie is concerned. "I'm fine." "If you say so. " I smile, "you worry too much." She looks at me, "and usually I'm right."
Rachel and Sarah are there too. They act sad. "Do you have to go?" Sarah, but not Sarah, asks. I nod. Jordan sighs, "it's a pity you couldn't stay." She tells me. "Sarah and I were hoping you could come to the Sharing with us." I plaster a smile on my face, "maybe when I come to visit." I get into the taxi with dad.
You understand don't you guys? I'm not strong, I couldn't handle it. I turned my own sisters over. Yes, you'll do far better with out me. I'll do much better with out you.
"Are you ok." Dad asks on the plane. I nod, "yeah. I was just thinking." He smiles. I look down at the tiny houses below us. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "What?" Dad asks. "Nothing. Nothing at all."
I'm sorry guys. You understand don't you? Don't you?
A/N: Well, what did you think? t was confusing I know. I hope you liked it. I know Rachels a bit out of Character, but she had to be that way to fit in.