Buffy's thoughts
It's been a month since he left us- since he left me. I miss him more than anything. It's like part of my
life and part of my heart, mind, body and soul has gone with him. I never realised really how much of
myself was mirrored in Xander. I believe he was the other half of my soul- everything that he ever did
was for his friends and me. Willow and Giles, Oz, Cordelia- even Angel and Faith, I think that I also
saw that they didn't hate each other but they were always worried about me. I'm sounding a little
self-centred but it's true. I always believed that Angel was there as my soulmate but I think that was all
teenage fantasies. I want him back more than anything just to tell him how much I love him and want to
be with him. All of my friends are trying to cheer me upSitting here in Giles's house gazing out the
window. Everyone's here, Willow, Oz, Giles, Riley, Tara, Anya, Spike, Cordelia, Wesley, Doyle, Amy
(non ratified now) only person missing now is Xander. Only Xander could make me feel like this- not
even Angel... He's even making me forget about Angel. I don't care if he's here or not. He's not my
soulmate or even a true love but just a schoolgirl crush and my first love. I suppose everyone is like
that- I mean look at both Willow and Corrdelia- the first people they fell in love with hurt them a lot. I
know that Xander didn't mean to neither did Oz, I can't stop thinking about him and what he said to just
before he went in to save Oz from the fire- I still can't believe he survived. It was killing Xander
believing OZ was dead. I know I was when I thought we had lost them both. It was only two days
between his leaving hospital and leaving Sunnydale.
Xander's Thoughts.
I can't do it, I'm like Matthew Broderick in Addicted to Love I'm hollow without her around me. I'm
going back. I go into the other room and tell by Roommate I'm going back. Angel stands up and wishes
me luck- you know he's not too bad sometime just a pain in the Ass when he's always brooding and
sometimes he makes me want to stake him. He promises not to tell anyone I was here for the last
three weeks. Not even Cordy, Doyle and Wesley. I'm going back and I'm telling her everything, how
much I love her and even if she doesn't love me I'll stay to fight for her and to die for her if I have to, I
won't leave her alone again. I might not be able to stop the apocalypse but I sure as hell will stop
anything from hurting her. When I get back I'm changing everything for a start I'm getting the hell out
of that basement and finding an apartment perhaps even go to college. I love my parents but I have to
get out of there, they were always there for me but I have to do this. I'm 20 years old and I have to find
my own space. Maybe Giles would put me up. I'll ask him when I get back. I finally have my stuff
together and I'm going back.
Buffy's thoughts.
Willow Bless her she's doing everything she can to help me. She seems to be over that whole suicidal
tendency thing since Oz was found alive. I'm glad she's happy and the rest have their own people. But I
want Xander I need him. I haven't slept a whole night since he left- is this real love or another thing
like Angel where I want what I can't have. Rain it's raining, thunderstorms, lightning and huge amounts
of rain pummelling the ground. I miss him so much. The lighting it... it's... it's the light in the darkness-
like Xander is for me. This house my house the one place I now feel safe because of all the times
Xander's been here to help me.
Who... There's someone standing in the yard in the rain and He's looking right at me. It can't be. I run
to the door and fling it open. I walk out into the rain just my blouse and trousers on. I'm getting soaked
But I don't care anymore. I know everyone is looking out the window and door at me but I have to
know. I walk up to him and look at his shadowed face. He looks up at me and I see the eyes I have
wanted to see for so long.
"Xander..."
Xander's Thoughts
I'm driving through the outskirts of Sunnydale as the storm breaks- great now the weather copies my
mind. It's good to be home- I've missed the 'Boca Del Inferno' or maybe just who was here, My friends
my family and the woman I love. I pass all the places I know see a few people I know but I don't look
for long I finally make it to Buffy's street. It's chucking it down but I have to do this. I step out of the
van and into the street the rain pummelling me, I pull my jacket tighter around me. I step into Buffy's
front yard and look at the house. I can see her in the window, she looks up and sees me after a
moment's hesitation she goes to the door and opens it. She walks into the rain in a top and trousers and
walks up to me. I look into her eyes and she speak's.
"Xander..."
"Hello Buffy."
She jumps into his arms and hugs him tight he puts his own arms around her and holds her almost as
tightly and that's saying something. She pulls back a little and looks at him her face is wet and not just
from the rain.
"Never do that again."
"What..."
"Leave me alone like that."
"I didn't think that any of you wanted me around, I'm no use to you."
"How could you think that. Her voice is muffled as she hugs him and pushes her head into his chest.
We need you I need you. Xander- I Love you."
He almost stumbles over at hearing those words.
"I realised I did the day you left I was coming to see you to talk but by that time you were gone. Never
Leave Me My Xander shaped Friend. My love."
"Buffy- I love you I always have, I never believed that you could ever love me. That's why I left
because I thought you blamed me for Oz's death."
"We don't"
"I couldn't save him Buffy."
"Xander look in the window." Xander looks around and sees Oz in the window with his arms around
Willow who is crying glad to see him back.
"I love you Buffy Summers."
"I love you Alexander Harris"
He bends his head down and pulls up on her chin- as they kiss the stop stops and a break appears in
the clouds. A single moonbeam hits the two of them-
The Slayer and the White Knight Are together at Last.
The End
It's been a month since he left us- since he left me. I miss him more than anything. It's like part of my
life and part of my heart, mind, body and soul has gone with him. I never realised really how much of
myself was mirrored in Xander. I believe he was the other half of my soul- everything that he ever did
was for his friends and me. Willow and Giles, Oz, Cordelia- even Angel and Faith, I think that I also
saw that they didn't hate each other but they were always worried about me. I'm sounding a little
self-centred but it's true. I always believed that Angel was there as my soulmate but I think that was all
teenage fantasies. I want him back more than anything just to tell him how much I love him and want to
be with him. All of my friends are trying to cheer me upSitting here in Giles's house gazing out the
window. Everyone's here, Willow, Oz, Giles, Riley, Tara, Anya, Spike, Cordelia, Wesley, Doyle, Amy
(non ratified now) only person missing now is Xander. Only Xander could make me feel like this- not
even Angel... He's even making me forget about Angel. I don't care if he's here or not. He's not my
soulmate or even a true love but just a schoolgirl crush and my first love. I suppose everyone is like
that- I mean look at both Willow and Corrdelia- the first people they fell in love with hurt them a lot. I
know that Xander didn't mean to neither did Oz, I can't stop thinking about him and what he said to just
before he went in to save Oz from the fire- I still can't believe he survived. It was killing Xander
believing OZ was dead. I know I was when I thought we had lost them both. It was only two days
between his leaving hospital and leaving Sunnydale.
Xander's Thoughts.
I can't do it, I'm like Matthew Broderick in Addicted to Love I'm hollow without her around me. I'm
going back. I go into the other room and tell by Roommate I'm going back. Angel stands up and wishes
me luck- you know he's not too bad sometime just a pain in the Ass when he's always brooding and
sometimes he makes me want to stake him. He promises not to tell anyone I was here for the last
three weeks. Not even Cordy, Doyle and Wesley. I'm going back and I'm telling her everything, how
much I love her and even if she doesn't love me I'll stay to fight for her and to die for her if I have to, I
won't leave her alone again. I might not be able to stop the apocalypse but I sure as hell will stop
anything from hurting her. When I get back I'm changing everything for a start I'm getting the hell out
of that basement and finding an apartment perhaps even go to college. I love my parents but I have to
get out of there, they were always there for me but I have to do this. I'm 20 years old and I have to find
my own space. Maybe Giles would put me up. I'll ask him when I get back. I finally have my stuff
together and I'm going back.
Buffy's thoughts.
Willow Bless her she's doing everything she can to help me. She seems to be over that whole suicidal
tendency thing since Oz was found alive. I'm glad she's happy and the rest have their own people. But I
want Xander I need him. I haven't slept a whole night since he left- is this real love or another thing
like Angel where I want what I can't have. Rain it's raining, thunderstorms, lightning and huge amounts
of rain pummelling the ground. I miss him so much. The lighting it... it's... it's the light in the darkness-
like Xander is for me. This house my house the one place I now feel safe because of all the times
Xander's been here to help me.
Who... There's someone standing in the yard in the rain and He's looking right at me. It can't be. I run
to the door and fling it open. I walk out into the rain just my blouse and trousers on. I'm getting soaked
But I don't care anymore. I know everyone is looking out the window and door at me but I have to
know. I walk up to him and look at his shadowed face. He looks up at me and I see the eyes I have
wanted to see for so long.
"Xander..."
Xander's Thoughts
I'm driving through the outskirts of Sunnydale as the storm breaks- great now the weather copies my
mind. It's good to be home- I've missed the 'Boca Del Inferno' or maybe just who was here, My friends
my family and the woman I love. I pass all the places I know see a few people I know but I don't look
for long I finally make it to Buffy's street. It's chucking it down but I have to do this. I step out of the
van and into the street the rain pummelling me, I pull my jacket tighter around me. I step into Buffy's
front yard and look at the house. I can see her in the window, she looks up and sees me after a
moment's hesitation she goes to the door and opens it. She walks into the rain in a top and trousers and
walks up to me. I look into her eyes and she speak's.
"Xander..."
"Hello Buffy."
She jumps into his arms and hugs him tight he puts his own arms around her and holds her almost as
tightly and that's saying something. She pulls back a little and looks at him her face is wet and not just
from the rain.
"Never do that again."
"What..."
"Leave me alone like that."
"I didn't think that any of you wanted me around, I'm no use to you."
"How could you think that. Her voice is muffled as she hugs him and pushes her head into his chest.
We need you I need you. Xander- I Love you."
He almost stumbles over at hearing those words.
"I realised I did the day you left I was coming to see you to talk but by that time you were gone. Never
Leave Me My Xander shaped Friend. My love."
"Buffy- I love you I always have, I never believed that you could ever love me. That's why I left
because I thought you blamed me for Oz's death."
"We don't"
"I couldn't save him Buffy."
"Xander look in the window." Xander looks around and sees Oz in the window with his arms around
Willow who is crying glad to see him back.
"I love you Buffy Summers."
"I love you Alexander Harris"
He bends his head down and pulls up on her chin- as they kiss the stop stops and a break appears in
the clouds. A single moonbeam hits the two of them-
The Slayer and the White Knight Are together at Last.
The End