Let Me
by Banshi
~*~*~*~*~*~
Wufei lay awake one sleepless night, watching the movement of shadows and light across his ceiling. They danced out a story for him, and he found himself remembering folktales that he hadn't thought about since his childhood.
He had watched massive battles, unrequited love and deep family loyalty play out against the white plaster when his lover returned to him, and he abandoned the stories of old.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Quatre sighed as he sank into the soft hotel bed, his arms immediately wrapping around the solid form of his beloved. These meetings between the colony and Earth officials were grueling, and obviously more-so for the companies than for the governments.
Wufei had been back hours before he had, the Senator that the Preventor was assigned to having left his meetings. Quatre bit back a pout as he tilted his face up to look into those deep black eyes that he loved so well.
"Tough meeting?"
"Yes, but I don't want to talk about it." Quatre stretched just enough to brush his lips over Wufei's. When he relaxed again, those lips followed his back down, leaving him only when he was breathless, and unsure if he was still in his body. It was, to date, the most pleasant feeling he had ever experienced. He sighed as he sank back into the pillows.
"Rest then Airen."
Quatre smiled at the endearment. Wufei said it as if their coupling was an official marriage, and it never failed to make Quatre's heart glow.
"G'night Love." With that, Quatre snuggled under the blankets and into the warm arms of his lover. He was content.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Wufei listened to Quatre's breathing even out and deepen as sleep claimed the blond. He called Quatre 'spouse' and 'lover', all with one word, and felt deeply the emotions that the endearment conveyed.
But he couldn't help remembering a pair of fierce black eyes that flashed with anger, passion and conviction. His Meiran had been passionate about her justice, angry with him as a husband, and convinced that her way was right. It was a disposition he had tried to emulate in the years since her death.
Such a disposition was not harmonious with Quatre's quiet calm, and Wufei could almost imagine the scathing rejection that would have come from Meiran at meeting Quatre. As it would have been if she had piloted Shenlong as planned.
His arms tightened around Quatre's pale form, pulling the other boy to him. Inhaling that scent of jasmine and green tea that seemed unique to the blond despite it's common presence in tea shops around the world, Wufei felt peace settle over him.
The fire and death that had followed him since becoming a widower seemed so far away now. He was closer to the quiet of his childhood, spent in libraries and visiting the far off lands within his mind, than he could clearly remember being.
This feeling was why he had taken the chance in giving Quatre his heart. This feeling was why he had spent every waking moment after Marimea trying to find a way to be close to the blond.
"I never thought you four would forgive me, you know." He spoke into his beloved's ear, less than a breath of sound. There were still some things that he didn't dare say while anyone was awake to hear them. On some level, he knew that Quatre heard him in sleep, kept his secrets stored in a corner of that happy soul. He would never understand what he had done to deserve this peace, why he was granted this happy life while so many had died to get him here.
Snuggling into Quatre's back, he firmly told himself not to dwell on his unworthyness. The universe might take it as an insult and decide to give him what he did deserve.
Let me be strong enough to hold onto this. Let it be forever.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Wufei, you've been out there for hours! Come in and eat something, before you shrivel up in that heat." Quatre's mock chastising went strait to Wufei's heart, and the now-tanner man found himself showing a smile to the desert-at-large. He had been meditating just outside of the ex-pilots' temporary house, on the outskirts of the Maguanacs' home town. Apparently his wish for solitude had been heeded long enough. As per Une's orders, he was supposed to be on vacation. The other four seemed to take that to heart.
"I thought Chinese scholars were supposed to end up looking like short, skinny, brown raisins." Duo's smart-ass comment came out of the kitchen window, for the ex-Deathgod wasn't abandoning his morning caffine and sugar for anything.
"I should never have told you about my library."
"Oi, Wu! It's not polite to mutter!" A giggle floated on the breeze, and Wufei knew that he would never be sure if it came from Duo, or his very own blond beloved. Quatre had a hand over his mouth, trying to hide how funny he found the whole situation.
Looking back over the shifting sands, Wufei again found himself imagining them covering over every bad thing he had ever done. His past nothing more than the quickly-erased footprints of a caravan. This place was eternal, and yet held no history for longer than it took the wind to carry it away.
Neither Justice, Death nor War could ever hope to leave their marks here. Wufei found that a comforting image, and held it to his heart, even as he reached for Love's hand.
Quatre giggled, as if he knew exactly what Wufei was trying to do, sitting outside for hours and watching every new day dawn over the dunes. And knowing Quatre, that could be the case.
Let me take some of this eternal renewal with me. Let me erase everything until I am whole again. Let me be the dunes and you the wind, and never shall either of us wear our scares for others to see.
With his heart, he heard his aqua-eyed beloved answer.
As you wish ... Airen.
~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~
Note on vocab. 'Airen' is Mandarin, and means spouse (husband or wife depending on who is saying it), but in some places it means lover. My basic Chinese vocabulary book warned of not using the word too casually, so... ^_^
If I have the social context wrong, let me know!
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai and Sunrise. Neither are me, they make money off of these guys, I just get audience reviews. You can't buy anything but ego with those, so don't sue.