Some times I wish that relationships were easier. No strings or mess, I want you to want me. Boom.
It was all so simple back then, when love was innocent and pure. Back, when I was sixteen and in school. I gave my heart to him. And all I wanted was his in return. But he can't give love, he bought me things and took to expensive places but he couldn't give me his heart.
The one thing I asked him for.
And for a while it was nice. To be romanced and wooed by a handsome man. I knew that it was only temporary. Our seventh year was coming to a close. And the real world was no place for young love.
But life isn't like that; it's messy and full of strings. And I fell hook line and sinker. It's really not all my fault. Even my best defense couldn't stand up to an expert, and that's what he is a girl expert.
Even without the war, we would have never worked. We came from two completely different worlds. According to his father's beliefs, I didn't belong in either.
But that couldn't have stopped me from falling for him. When we sat alone in the tower, and sang a silly song in the moonlight. It was as if the whole world could be found in his silver eyes.
But then graduation day crept up on us all. And he said those words I had been dreading and expecting since the very first day. I watched his full lips put our ending into words. Wondering if I could hold myself together until the end of the ceremony.
A few hours ago, I had love. A few weeks ago, I was held in the arms of someone who cared about me. A few months ago, I had friends who knew everything about me.
Now instead I'm left all alone with a stupid song and begging him to beg me. I tired to be on my own, to be okay after he left. I wanted to not be broken like those other girls that he played, those other hearts that he broke and shattered into a thousand million pieces. I didn't want him to see me cry like those other girls. I didn't want him to see me needing him to need me, but one gets what they want. And I'm no exception.
Now three years later, and I still cant get over him. My friends worry about me, but none of them are brave enough to ask why I broke down in tears the other day. The day I saw him with his arms around another woman. And a ring on her finger.
I know that nothing can happen, that our time together is in the past. I know that I should get over him. But I still sit at night, and wish.
I want him to want me, and I need him to need me. And if it will work, I'll beg him to beg me.