Love Is Being Stupid Together
She swung her legs over the side of the bed and looked back at him, over the shoulder that had the 'perfect replica of Orion's Belt' in dark copper freckles. Or so he'd said, although the whiskey on his breath and the way his pupils had contracted led her to believe that he wasn't at all sure what he was saying. No boyfriend, no former lover- not a single human being had ever told her that she'd had a constellation on her shoulder during sex. Tony Stark managed to not only squeeze that into the intimate moment, but to make her feel beautiful as he'd done so. The whole situation was comfortable, forbidden, everything that she'd thought it would be and everything she knew she shouldn't be doing.
Yet there she was, at that moment, wandering naked across the shaft of moonlight cast across the bedroom, to pull her bathrobe from the back of the door and make her way into the kitchen for a drink. She didn't have the amenities in her apartment that Tony had in any of his homes, and her minimal bar requirements were a bottle of vodka and something to mix it with. Tony's own bar requirements…weren't at all minimal.
The question 'What on earth was I thinking' popped into her head as she absently stirred a Screwdriver with her index finger, sucking the tangy juice from her fingertip and leaning against the Formica countertop. Casual sex wasn't a part of her agenda most days, exhaustion reigning supreme as the driving force of anything she wanted to do in her spare time. Light some candles, read a book, sink into a tub full of scented bubbles and close her eyes against the world.
He was still asleep twenty minutes later, when she threw back the pulpy remnants at the bottom of the glass and left it in the empty sink, padding barefoot into the living room. The moonlight was fiercely bright against the dark walls, and she wandered to the window to stare at the coastline. When she'd been appointed to the position of Tony Stark's personal assistant, her old apartment had been in one of the less reputable neighborhoods in Malibu where the streets filled with prostitutes and drugs, lacking in police presence and doormen. The raise in salary had moved her to chic surroundings, a loft in a former shoe factory with windows that reached to heaven and a view of coastline that was rivaled only by that which Tony had in his own living room.
The silk robe she wore suddenly felt too cool against her skin, and she pulled the sash tighter against the chill of the air conditioning. She'd always found it ridiculous to own, but the hope that someday she would have company had been enough to inspire the purchase at Victoria's Secret, and the lush green robe had found itself a home on the back of her bedroom door.
"You're beautiful." She could see his reflection in the window, naked and comfortable as he leaned in the doorway to her bedroom and ran his eyes over her. Tony Stark was the only man she'd ever known who could appear just as comfortable with his nudity as he could in a tuxedo, and who was just as attractive either way. "Pepper-"
"Don't say it, Tony. It's all right." She glanced down at the bruise on her wrist, peering out from beneath the cuff of her robe, an angry purple against milky white skin. It had happened during the fracas at the Expo, although she had no recollection of when, and the tingle of Tony's lips against it was a distant memory of the night before. "This was stupid, and if you'd like to pretend it never happened, it's all right."
"I don't care if this is wrong, Pepper, or if it's right, or if it is just stupid. I love you, and if I have to spend the rest of my life trying to prove that to you, then I'll do that. But I don't ever want you to think I'm going to act like a second of this didn't happen." It had begun to rain, and Pepper lifted her eyes to catch sight of his reflection again, staring into the glass as if it would tell her something she didn't know. Did she love him? Was it really that, or had the years of working for him ingrained in her a loyalty so fierce that she'd mistaken it for something stronger?
"…Love is being stupid together." It was something she'd read once, somewhere, and she whispered the line into the quiet room, imagining the words drifting upward and out into the night sky. Was that what they were- in love? Being in love with Tony Stark was Paparazzi and photographs, never having a quiet dinner in public or being able to leave the house without wondering who in her life was real. But being in love was what she was, and she had to admit that, or she'd spend the rest of her life failing at something where failure should have never been an option.
"What?"
"You're right." The words felt foreign because they were foreign, words she'd rarely spoken toward him in ten years, and she wondered if it was because he hadn't been right enough, or if she'd simply never given him credit when it mattered. "I thought you were going to want an out, and I was ready to give it to you. But you're right, Tony- it doesn't matter if this is wrong, or if it's stupid, because we're doing it together."
It felt like she'd never left the bed, when they eased back beneath the sheets moments later, his arms wrapped securely around her, breath soft on the nape of her neck. As she closed her eyes, Pepper smiled at the sensation of his lips against her skin, and reached up to squeeze his hand. Stupid or not, what they had was love, and as she drifted off she knew it was enough.