A/N: This is a repost. I had written this story back when I was in middle school, and I really like it. I thought I would do it some justice by going back and rewriting it, fixing it up and adding a little bit to it.

Chapter 1: How I Said Good Bye

Margaret sat at her dresser as a tear trickled down her cheek. In front of her was a journal that she had been keeping ever since she had arrived in Korea. It was silly really, just something to keep track of the days, fill her spare time. At least, that was how it had started. Now it was one of the most important items to her. It was the only thing she could go to lately with her problems.

The small space glowed from the candle that was lit. Tears fell and landed on the paper as she wrote. She momentarily set down the pen and stared at the wet spot before taking part of her robe and blotting the stain dry. After drying it, she went ahead and scanned her latest entry.

July 28th 1953

Tonight is my last night here in Korea, the war is officially over. A few hours ago we all gathered for our last dinner together and shared with everyone what we were going to do once we got home. I of course told everyone my plans to just become a nurse. It was a bit of a lie, but no one here had to know the truth. I'm not going to see any of them ever again, let alone hear from any of them. At least I'm pretty sure I won't. I wasn't all that close to too many people. It's probably better that way.

After that Hawkeye and me came back to my tent to say goodbye to each other. It was the hardest goodbye that I have ever said in my life. At first we had a fun time, he brought a bottle of champagne over and we talked for a while and then we borrowed Charles's record player and danced. During that whole time Hawkeye seemed to be happy but looked as if he wanted to say something. Well, he did. Just a few minutes ago he asked me to come back home with him and get married. I turned him down.

I can't believe it, but I said no. My last words to him were "I don't think that it would work out. We're too different and we would spend half of the time fighting and arguing with each other." I still think that that's true, but I don't know if I'll ever forget the look on his face. He looked as if I had just told him that he was dying. He did give me his phone number in case I ever changed my mind. I would like to still be friends with him, but I don't know if I could face him. I learned that I could have trouble being with him just last week. It wasn't like we fought or anything when I went to see him, but I felt very uncomfortable being there and I honestly never want to feel like that again. I think I'll finish here. Now I am going to bed here for the last time in my life. I also might have just said goodbye to the one man who really meant something to me for the last time in my life.

Margaret put down the pen and thought for a moment. The whole thing was very bitter sweet. She wanted to go home and she wanted the war to end, but she didn't want to leave Hawkeye for good. From the first kiss that he ever gave her to the dance that they had just shared she had been getting closer and closer to him. She just wasn't sure about how close she really was to him. She also had no idea how close Hawkeye had felt to her. He had just proposed.

Standing, she picked up a glass of unfinished champagne that had been sitting on the edge of the desk. "Well, here's to you Hawkeye Pierce. The only man I know who would put up with what you just went through," she solemnly stated before gulping down the rest of the drink.

Margaret stood there a second, staring at the glass. It was empty, just the way that she was feeling at the moment. At one time there was everything before her, and at one time she could have said yes to Hawkeye, but now everything was different.

Thickly swallowing, she went ahead and set down the glass, leaning in to blow out the candle. She just remained there a moment, lingering in the dark before retreating to her cot where she would sleep one last time.