All Around Me
Wasted and Ready
Rated M
Enjoyyy
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My back slams against the wall as you roughly run your hands over my body, and I take a swift intake of breath. My hands are searching for you , my arms are outstretched towards you. My head tilts back and you hungrily latch your mouth on my neck. I love this, I love that you aren't afraid to hurt me. You do hurt me. I feel you on my fingertips, my tongue dances behind my lips for you.
You quickly cast charms around the room, insuring our privacy. No one can find out about this, our secret. I shudder at the thought of seeing Ron and Hermione's faces if they knew, knew of my betrayal. You take my grimace as a shiver of pleasure and shove your hands up my shirt. This fire rising through my being, burning I'm not used to seeing you.
The numbness that is usually seeps into my very bones is lifting, they are warming. My whole body warms for you. I'm alive, I'm alive. Your hand brushes past a cut on my abdomen I got in the last battle, and a sting runs up my spine. You do not notice, you are used to seeing wounds on my body. I can feel you all around me, sickening the air I'm breathing.
You grasp the back of my knee and jerk my leg up around your waist. I entwine our fingers tightly and you thrust up against me. A moan escapes me, and you thrust harder against the friction of our jeans. Take my hand, I give it to you, now you own me, all I am.
A chatter of voices, strategizing no doubt, comes closer to the Order's makeshift shelter and you Disapparate in an instant, leaving my hands to grasp only cold air. The voices come closer, and I lift your enchantments as to not raise any eyebrows. Hermione enters, Molly close behind and she turns her earnest face towards me.
"Mrs. Weasley and I made you some vegetable soup, it's getting cold out there." You smile your everything's-going-to-be-okay smile, the smile that says the war will soon be over and we can all go back to normal, happy lives. I notice how gaunt your face has become. And I feel ashamed.
.
The next battle is gory and bloodstained. Causalities mount on both sides. Order members are running around, casting hexes, screaming orders to one another. The sky darkens as night approaches. The air is thick with death and hatred. I take out every Death Eater that comes my way, and for a split second I always wonder if it's you under that mask before I cast my final blow. We all have to make sacrifices.
As both sides limp back into retreat until the next meeting of blows, your snake Patronus streaks past me, giving me a meaningful look and disappears. The clamp on my heart loosens. Holding on to what I'm feeling, savoring this heart that's healing.
Ginny runs towards me, her face aglow with the slight victory we managed tonight and hugs me. I quickly let go, ignoring her look. I don't want to dirty her with our relationship, it has already stained me until the end of time.
.
"Ah, ah…oh…" You know all my spots, all the sensitive nooks and crannies of my body that make me writhe and pant. You know just how to touch me in a way that makes me go wild. You know me better than anyone. My hands float up above me, and you whisper you love me.
"You like that?" You whisper teasingly, dipping your hand below the waistband of my jeans. It doesn't bother you that I've become impossibly thin, so thin that my ribs and hip bones jut out. Stress and fatigue has made its ugly mark upon me and yet you still stare at me with lust in your eyes, enraptured. And I begin to fade, into our secret place.
I enter a dreamlike state as I always do when you begin a rhythmic rocking inside me. The guilt lessens when I imagine us in a different world, a one where we are not separated by hopelessness and despair. "Harry…" You murmur lovingly into my ear everything you want to do to me. We both come, shivers down our backs. I'm alive, I'm alive. We stand and I pull my jeans back up over my hips. You survey my bruised and battered body. The bags under my eyes are purple, and my skin of the purest white. I am fragile and frail. I am dying and you know it. I can feel you all around me, sickening the air I'm breathing.
I return to the camp, your hands still burning all over my body. I enter the meeting for planning the next battle. Tempers are running high, people are getting frustrated. Misery hangs over us like a cloud. Luna sobs into her hands, Neville standing over her, looking grave. My love for you runs like a poison in my veins.
.
The Final Battle has arrived. My scar burns fiercely. He is around somewhere, biding his time. I take on Death Eater after Death Eater and I become weaker. Order members go straight for the kill, not bothering with Stunning anymore. We are warriors. Slowly the field becomes less crowded with fighters. The dead litter the ground in heaps. I have not seen you yet. He finally shows himself. I see him some 40 yards away, Avada Kadavra-ing Fleur before she even realizes his presence. She falls gracelessly to the ground, the light gone from her eyes.
He turns towards me. I wait. Everything becomes a blur, the screaming and cursing fades into the background. All I see is him, and you. I see you behind him, slightly to the side. You slide your mask off and stare in horror as me and him face off.
The battle with Voldemort does not last long, I manage to Crucio him, but it doesn't last longer that ten seconds before he throws it off. He laughs humorlessly. He hits me with a curse I do not recognize but it knocks the wind out of me. That being an understatement. I feel my rib cage and lungs collapse, my chest implodes. I gather the last of my strength.
"AVADA KADAVRA!" It nails him squarely in the chest. A flicker of confusion crosses his face for an instant before he falls. We have won. The Death Eaters feel it and immediately Disapparate. Except for you. Order members freeze, looking around wildly. They spot me, see his body lying there and realize what has happened. No one cheers, no one celebrates. They are looking at me.
My eyes seek yours out as I crumple to the ground. My beaten body shudders and fails. I slip away peacefully, not fighting it. My unseeing eyes continue to stare at you. There is silence on the battlefield as only the clouds continue on, drifting lazily across the sky.
.
Years pass, and the Wizarding World slowly heals. People marry, have kids, and grow old. My name is still whispered, tears still sting at eyes, and my legend lives on.
You live out your life, cold and alone. You seek no company, and no one seeks you. I am the whisper in the wind that ruffles your hair and tugs at your clothes.
You said you would never leave me, I believe you, I believe.
All lyrics (anything in italics) are from Flyleaf's "All Around Me". PS. I am fully aware that the lyrics are "thickening", I changed them on purpose.