Title: One Last Goodbye
Author: Emily
Summary: Angel is about to leave Sunnydale and Buffy behind. But, he can't leave without one last goodbye.
Rating: Strong R for lots of language
Spoilers: All the B/A Romance, and Graduation Day II
Dedication: To the B/A Shippers, keep the dream alive!!
Feedback: You know I love it!! It gives me a happy!
Part 1/3
"We got off pretty cheap… considering." Xander says to me.
"Seems like we did." I reply. I continue to look around, hoping to see *him* one more time.
We walk a few more steps then I stop; still looking around. Xander stops beside me; his hands buried in his pockets.
"He made it through the fight. Guess maybe he took off after." I blink and look down.
Xander makes a grimace then turns and walks away. I stand there, again looking around, and Giles comes up to me.
Giles puts a hand on my shoulder. "Are you all right?"
I lay my head to one side. "I'm tired."
Giles smiles at me. "I should imagine so. It's been quite a couple of days."
"I haven't processed everything yet. My brain isn't really functioning on the higher levels. It's pretty much: fire bad; tree pretty." I say tiredly.
Giles shakes his head. "Understandable. Well, when it's working again congratulate it on a good campaign. You did very well."
I nod. "Thank you. I will."
Giles puts his glasses on. "I ah… I managed to ferret this out of the wreckage. Now, it may not interest you, but… I'd say you earned it." Giles says, handing me my charred diploma.
Giles takes a deep breath and looking around. "There is a certain dramatic irony that's attached to all this. A Synchronicity that borders on … on predestination, one might say."
I look at him. "Fire bad; tree pretty.'
Giles looks back at me, understanding. "Yes, s…sorry. I'm going to see to Wesley, see if he's… is still… whimpering."
Giles walks away, and I continue to look after him. Suddenly I turn around; a slight frown on my face. My eyes lock on something and my face clears. I stare at him. I stare at Angel standing beside a fire truck looking at me. We both just stand there, just staring at each other. I blink and feel my face fall. I hug myself a little closer. A couple of firemen block my view of him, moments later, smoke obscures him from my vision. The smoke finally blows away, and he steps back, slowly turns, and walks off. I stand there, watching him leave. And, then, he's gone, he disappeared in the smoke.
Slowly, I turn away, and notice Willow, Oz, and Xander sitting on a bench in the grass. Cordy walks over and sits down.
"Well, that's the most fun you can have without having any fun." I hear Cordelia say.
Willow smiles. "How about the part where we kicked some demon ass. I didn't hate that."
"Hear, hear!" Xander says cheerfully.
I walk over to the gang, and put on a false, cheerful smile. "You guys want to take off? I think we've done pretty much all we can."
"I'm for it." Cordelia nods and says.
"Are you okay?" Willow asks me, concerned.
I nod and say in a small voice. "Yeah… I'm okay. - I could use a little sleep though."
Willow nods and agrees emphatically. "Yeah."
I sit down on the bench next to Willow. "If someone could just wake me when it's time to go to college, that'd be great." Willow smiles at me.
Oz says, with his hands in is pockets. "Guys take a moment to deal with this: - we survived." Xander nods.
"It was a hell of a battle!" I reply.
"Not the battle... high school." He says.
We all look quietly at the school and listen to the crickets chirping.
"We're taking a moment... and we're done."
Xander gets up and walks off next to Cordelia. "Well, School's done."
Oz puts an arm around Willow as they all walk off together.
"It's sooo...Cool!"
"Why do demons even come here any more? I mean, don't they know…" Willow asks.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Damn it. I just walked away. I fucking walked away. I ripped out her heart, stomped on it and walked away. I love her. God knows it. I love her more than life itself. Why the fuck did I leave then? I left because I'm a coward. I'm a low life who doesn't deserve her. I fucked up. Damn it. I stand there, just beyond the range of her vision. I stand there, hoping she would chase after me. But I told... I told her I wouldn't say goodbye. I told her that. What an ass hole. Shit, I love her and I walked away. She's not coming back. I turn back around and keep walking. I get to my Plymouth Belvedere and jump in and I speed off towards L.A. I'm such a dumb ass. Why should I think she'd wait for me? She's already on her way to getting over me.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I'm walking with Willow, Oz, Xander and Cordy. We've just left the school grounds and now we're heading towards our first stop, Cordy's. I make a rash decision and blurt out, "I'm gonna book, I've gotta do something."
* * * * * * * * * * *
Before anyone can say anything, I'm off and running towards the spot where I last saw him. I get there, and all the smoke has drifted away and there are no more fire trucks. And no more Angel. He left. Just like he said he would. No goodbyes. If I had only chased after him. If only I hadn't been so stupid.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I'm stopped at a red light, though I think about just running it, because the cops could never catch me and I couldn't be killed. It turns green, and I just sit there. Someone behind me gets angry and beeps their horn loudly at me, and I still sit there. They keep beeping, until finally, I turn around and look, flick up my middle finger and rattle off a few choice words. I'm in no mood for that shit. I speed off, hearing the other person's response. "You mother fucker!" I continue to speed, and I don't get caught.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I don't get it? Why would he leave me? What was it? I don't care about kids, I'll never be normal. I'm a Slayer. I love him. Isn't love enough? I guess not. I realize I've made it to my house, and I look at it. So many good memories there. Our first kiss. I wish it was as simple as that. I slowly trudge up the stairs and collapse in my bed. Without even changing clothes, I drift off into a disturbing sleep. Memories of happy times. It makes me sick, but some how I am unable to wake up. I just wish it was so simple.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I don't really know what came over me. Maybe I was just being rash, but, not 10 minutes after leaving the charred remains of Sunnydale High, I turn around and speed back to the small town, that know one cares about. No one knows all the evils that lives there. I continue speeding, until I come to a familiar place. Buffy's house. I park the car on the curb a few blocks down and jog to the familiar tree, I always used as an entrance. For a few, short moments, I stand there, staring at her bedroom window. All the lights are off, and she must be asleep by now, but I don't care. I climb the tree, and sit just outside of her room. The window's open, as usual. Why doesn't she close it? She's the Slayer, she knows the dangers of the world. I stare. I know it's rude, but no one's there to see me. I quietly watch her, knowing that there's plenty of time till the sun comes up. So I watch. I'm just outside her bedroom window. I think irrashionaly again, and sneak into her bedroom. What the fuck am I doing? I yell at myself. I grab a piece of paper, so innocently sitting on her desk and one of her blue fuzzy pens. One last letter. I sneak outside, and rest my back against the tree and begin writing.
TBC...
Author: Emily
Summary: Angel is about to leave Sunnydale and Buffy behind. But, he can't leave without one last goodbye.
Rating: Strong R for lots of language
Spoilers: All the B/A Romance, and Graduation Day II
Dedication: To the B/A Shippers, keep the dream alive!!
Feedback: You know I love it!! It gives me a happy!
Part 1/3
"We got off pretty cheap… considering." Xander says to me.
"Seems like we did." I reply. I continue to look around, hoping to see *him* one more time.
We walk a few more steps then I stop; still looking around. Xander stops beside me; his hands buried in his pockets.
"He made it through the fight. Guess maybe he took off after." I blink and look down.
Xander makes a grimace then turns and walks away. I stand there, again looking around, and Giles comes up to me.
Giles puts a hand on my shoulder. "Are you all right?"
I lay my head to one side. "I'm tired."
Giles smiles at me. "I should imagine so. It's been quite a couple of days."
"I haven't processed everything yet. My brain isn't really functioning on the higher levels. It's pretty much: fire bad; tree pretty." I say tiredly.
Giles shakes his head. "Understandable. Well, when it's working again congratulate it on a good campaign. You did very well."
I nod. "Thank you. I will."
Giles puts his glasses on. "I ah… I managed to ferret this out of the wreckage. Now, it may not interest you, but… I'd say you earned it." Giles says, handing me my charred diploma.
Giles takes a deep breath and looking around. "There is a certain dramatic irony that's attached to all this. A Synchronicity that borders on … on predestination, one might say."
I look at him. "Fire bad; tree pretty.'
Giles looks back at me, understanding. "Yes, s…sorry. I'm going to see to Wesley, see if he's… is still… whimpering."
Giles walks away, and I continue to look after him. Suddenly I turn around; a slight frown on my face. My eyes lock on something and my face clears. I stare at him. I stare at Angel standing beside a fire truck looking at me. We both just stand there, just staring at each other. I blink and feel my face fall. I hug myself a little closer. A couple of firemen block my view of him, moments later, smoke obscures him from my vision. The smoke finally blows away, and he steps back, slowly turns, and walks off. I stand there, watching him leave. And, then, he's gone, he disappeared in the smoke.
Slowly, I turn away, and notice Willow, Oz, and Xander sitting on a bench in the grass. Cordy walks over and sits down.
"Well, that's the most fun you can have without having any fun." I hear Cordelia say.
Willow smiles. "How about the part where we kicked some demon ass. I didn't hate that."
"Hear, hear!" Xander says cheerfully.
I walk over to the gang, and put on a false, cheerful smile. "You guys want to take off? I think we've done pretty much all we can."
"I'm for it." Cordelia nods and says.
"Are you okay?" Willow asks me, concerned.
I nod and say in a small voice. "Yeah… I'm okay. - I could use a little sleep though."
Willow nods and agrees emphatically. "Yeah."
I sit down on the bench next to Willow. "If someone could just wake me when it's time to go to college, that'd be great." Willow smiles at me.
Oz says, with his hands in is pockets. "Guys take a moment to deal with this: - we survived." Xander nods.
"It was a hell of a battle!" I reply.
"Not the battle... high school." He says.
We all look quietly at the school and listen to the crickets chirping.
"We're taking a moment... and we're done."
Xander gets up and walks off next to Cordelia. "Well, School's done."
Oz puts an arm around Willow as they all walk off together.
"It's sooo...Cool!"
"Why do demons even come here any more? I mean, don't they know…" Willow asks.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Damn it. I just walked away. I fucking walked away. I ripped out her heart, stomped on it and walked away. I love her. God knows it. I love her more than life itself. Why the fuck did I leave then? I left because I'm a coward. I'm a low life who doesn't deserve her. I fucked up. Damn it. I stand there, just beyond the range of her vision. I stand there, hoping she would chase after me. But I told... I told her I wouldn't say goodbye. I told her that. What an ass hole. Shit, I love her and I walked away. She's not coming back. I turn back around and keep walking. I get to my Plymouth Belvedere and jump in and I speed off towards L.A. I'm such a dumb ass. Why should I think she'd wait for me? She's already on her way to getting over me.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I'm walking with Willow, Oz, Xander and Cordy. We've just left the school grounds and now we're heading towards our first stop, Cordy's. I make a rash decision and blurt out, "I'm gonna book, I've gotta do something."
* * * * * * * * * * *
Before anyone can say anything, I'm off and running towards the spot where I last saw him. I get there, and all the smoke has drifted away and there are no more fire trucks. And no more Angel. He left. Just like he said he would. No goodbyes. If I had only chased after him. If only I hadn't been so stupid.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I'm stopped at a red light, though I think about just running it, because the cops could never catch me and I couldn't be killed. It turns green, and I just sit there. Someone behind me gets angry and beeps their horn loudly at me, and I still sit there. They keep beeping, until finally, I turn around and look, flick up my middle finger and rattle off a few choice words. I'm in no mood for that shit. I speed off, hearing the other person's response. "You mother fucker!" I continue to speed, and I don't get caught.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I don't get it? Why would he leave me? What was it? I don't care about kids, I'll never be normal. I'm a Slayer. I love him. Isn't love enough? I guess not. I realize I've made it to my house, and I look at it. So many good memories there. Our first kiss. I wish it was as simple as that. I slowly trudge up the stairs and collapse in my bed. Without even changing clothes, I drift off into a disturbing sleep. Memories of happy times. It makes me sick, but some how I am unable to wake up. I just wish it was so simple.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I don't really know what came over me. Maybe I was just being rash, but, not 10 minutes after leaving the charred remains of Sunnydale High, I turn around and speed back to the small town, that know one cares about. No one knows all the evils that lives there. I continue speeding, until I come to a familiar place. Buffy's house. I park the car on the curb a few blocks down and jog to the familiar tree, I always used as an entrance. For a few, short moments, I stand there, staring at her bedroom window. All the lights are off, and she must be asleep by now, but I don't care. I climb the tree, and sit just outside of her room. The window's open, as usual. Why doesn't she close it? She's the Slayer, she knows the dangers of the world. I stare. I know it's rude, but no one's there to see me. I quietly watch her, knowing that there's plenty of time till the sun comes up. So I watch. I'm just outside her bedroom window. I think irrashionaly again, and sneak into her bedroom. What the fuck am I doing? I yell at myself. I grab a piece of paper, so innocently sitting on her desk and one of her blue fuzzy pens. One last letter. I sneak outside, and rest my back against the tree and begin writing.
TBC...