A/N: This story spawned from a ridiculous prompt that I gave myself. Reviews are really appreciated as this is my first multi-chapter fic, and I'm still developing and learning as a writer. Thanks, hope you enjoy it.
Certain clichés always annoyed Emma Swan. But here she was, riding shot gun in her own police cruiser, careening over the Storybrooke docks towards the open water, and time really did feel like it was standing still. Or at least slowing down to a ridiculously slow enough pace for her to think about everything in the last two days that had lead up to this point.
Most of this, yes, was indeed her fault, she notes internally as a scream escapes her throat. Perhaps, if she had listened to her currently powerless and fuming companion and magic teacher, none of this would have happened.
"Never mix alcohol and magic, Miss Swan," she'd say in her super serious voice, even when Emma had merely suggested the aid of alcohol to ease some of the serious tension and tone out of their lessons. Then she'd level her with that 'I'm serious, don't be a Charming (idiot) about this stuff' look before finishing her warning with, "You need to be focused at all times as it is very delicate and always comes with a price."
Oh well. Nothing she could do about it now.
At least the imminent death of the town's police cruiser wouldn't be on her conscience. She smiled inwardly at this, her body lifting off the passenger seat as the vehicle reached its midair peak, before its decent towards the cold November water.
Emma glanced over to the woman driving them to their potential deaths. Brown eyes focused on her target, teeth bared, white knuckled grip on the steering wheel, foot still flooring the gas pedal; she was completely oblivious, the realization of where they were headed hadn't quite sunk in yet.
Months from now she'd probably be able to laugh about all of this, maybe at Granny's with a cup of coffee or cocoa, but at this moment she sucked in a breath, closed her eyes, and braced for impact.
- - Two Days Ago - -
The bass thumped loudly at the Rabbit Hole, which was at full capacity tonight. Themed nights at the bar always brought in more people. Odd, Emma thought, considering it was a Sunday night, and the theme was Disney of all things. She didn't dwell on the absurdity of the town for long though. Her drinks were on someone else's tab tonight, and she had no intention of doing anything remotely close to thinking.
After months of clean up from Pan, Cora, and the curse breaking, Emma and her Sheriff's Department had finally fallen into a routine. A boring, repetitive, lack luster routine, but a routine nonetheless; they'd answer a few calls, patrol, and check on the more "dire" complaints. Most of those "dire" complaints entailed lost pets or paranoid calls from Sneezy, who assumed every person under the age of thirty entering his pharmacy was stealing something. On her day off she'd received a phone call about a loitering blonde, hanging suspiciously around the candy aisle.
It had been her.
Emma was stuck in clichéd small town cop hell.
Initially the blonde had been reluctant to attend tonight's festivities; her boredom had infiltrated into her system far enough where anything other than movie and tv marathons involved too much work. And depending on the location of the remote, even that was too much effort some days. Her deputy was persistent though, and after a week of nagging, Ruby finally coaxed her out of the apartment by offering to pay for her drinks.
Emma leaned forward a bit, bringing the straw from her mystery fruity drink to her mouth. It was some multicolored concoction that her mom pick out because it looked pretty. Emma thought it looked like it came from a unicorn's asshole. And given the fact that Storybrooke was full of fairy tale characters and creatures, it very well could have.
Speaking of her mother, the blonde glanced away from her floating beer bottle quickly to make sure Snow wasn't watching her. Snow knew about the magic lessons and would definitely nark on Emma if she saw her playing around with some harmless magic. The bottle wobbled and fell to the table. She quickly grabbed it before it fell to the floor.
Emma could practically hear Regina scolding her and taking away the bottle. Though the woman wasn't with the group tonight, she still felt her presence, like an ornery gnat that wouldn't stop buzzing around her head. She smiled to herself and continued to float her empty beer bottle in front of her.
They'd grown closer since Neverland, after coming up with a custody arrangement for Henry; one week with each mom, trading him off at their Friday night dinners, which were usually held at the Mills' Mansion. Emma had been staying longer, spending the later part of evening with Regina in the living room or her study, chatting over a drink or two. Though the weekly routine had become something Emma looked forward to, she was always trying to get the other woman to do something out of the house.
Sighing, she took a long sip of her Roseart inspired drink and cleared a space for the tray of shots Ruby brought to their high round table.
"Where's Belle? And Snow?" Ruby asked, looking at the empty seats.
"Tron and Bambi are on the dance floor." Emma pointed to the rhythmically challenged duo near the speakers. She'd be eternally grateful for the fact that she inherited her father's dancing genes.
"Ok. Be right back." Ruby, who was dressed as Ho White, much to Snow's chagrin, ran off to grab them, leaving Emma alone with her near empty mixed drink again.
She took the final sip of her drink and looked around. She nodded to her other deputy, Leroy, located at a table near the bar. He and the other dwarves brought their A-game, and had gone as Ariel and her mermaid sisters, complete with bedazzled pasties. It wasn't particularly pretty, but it was definitely one of the more creative costumes of the night. Granny, as King Triton, sat at their table too. Emma's eyes narrowed when she saw the crossbow duct taped to a broomstick, fashioned into a makeshift trident. She made a mental note to take it away from the elderly woman in an hour, when she undoubtedly got more rowdy.
Ruby returned with the other two in tow and handed out shots to each of them.
"First round, I dedicate to my friends. I love you all, almost as much as I love tequila." Ruby smiled as they clinked their glasses together.
Emma still wished Regina were here with them. She had invited the stubborn woman to join the group tonight, but after Snow denied her costume idea of Hunter, Regina decided to have a movie night with Henry instead.
"Remember, I'm the D.D., so I can only do one more shot," Snow reminded her scantily clad counterpart.
"Yeah, yeah. I remember. Round two is Jägermeister!" Ruby handed out the remaining shots on the tray. Snow stared at it with offended disgust. "Cheers guys, we're gonna have so much fun tonight."
"Jesus, Ruby. Tequila and Jäger? These two don't even play well by themselves." Emma winced as the black liquid went down her throat. "I can't believe I just did that."
"You aren't paying, so you don't get a say in any of the beverage choices. And since you keep saying how bored you are, I plan on getting you thoroughly fucked up tonight. That way you won't be bored tomorrow." Ruby smiled sweetly at Emma.
"I'll be hungover and sick."
"But at least you won't be bored."
"You're an ass."
"And you need more alcohol." Ruby flashed Emma a victorious grin before grabbing the tray and walking back up to the bar.
Emma rolled her eyes and started chewing on the straw from her long gone rainbow drink.
"You know you don't have to drink everything she brings over, right?" Snow reminded her.
Emma nodded. She knew she should probably slow down a bit. The four drinks she'd consumed in the hour that they'd been here were catching up with her. Her head felt a little fuzzy and her coordination was slipping. She placed her hand over Snow's, knocking over her empty beer bottle on the way.
"I know. But she's right, I wanted some excitement," she smiled and squeezed her mother's hand, then leaned back in her chair, "So tonight I'm going to drink myself stupid and I'm going to have fun doing it." She stood when Ruby returned. "Care to dance with me, Ho White?"
"I'd love to, Lord Vader."
Emma grabbed Ruby's hand and one of the beers she returned with, and lead them to the dance floor.
Snow shook her head and watched on as the two were intercepted by Belle and dragged to Leroy's table. She had a feeling this night wasn't going to end well and let out a long sigh.
"Challenge, sister!" Leroy's gruff voice yelled over the loud music. "Three shots. Whoever is last to finish has to work nights for the next two weeks."
"You know that, even if I lose, I still have final say in scheduling, right?" Emma said and placed her beer on the table, quirking her eyebrow.
"Oh come on, Em. Be adventurous!" Ruby pleaded.
The blonde relented and agreed to the challenge, but not before sending a pointed glare Ruby's way. Something Emma had clearly mastered from Regina.
"So what is it?" Emma asked as Belle carefully placed a tray with nine shots onto the table.
"Four Horsemen shots!" Belle exclaimed.
"You've got to be kidding me," Emma groaned. The stagnant oil from her car would taste better than this drink. She made a disgusted face as she grabbed her shots and lined them up. "I hate all of you."
"All right ladies," Granny boomed, ignoring the glare from Leroy, "Three, two, one!"
Emma slammed her final glass to the table first, and quickly grabbed her beer to chase the strong flavor with. Ruby was second to finish, wincing as she set the last glass down.
"Enjoy the night shift, Leroy, we appreciate it." Emma winked before walking back towards the dance floor.
The last thing she remembered was dancing in between Belle and Ruby to some bass heavy pop ditty.