Once upon a time, in a far far far away land, there lived a beautiful chibi. However, though the chibi was blessed with good looks, he was cursed with a hard and torturous life. You see, his father had remarried some time ago, and his stepmother (or rather stepfather) was a cruel and wicked chibi, whose sole purpose in life was to make our beautiful chibi's life miserable. And not only was his stepmother an evil chibi, but his evil stepmother had a son, who was an evil chibi too! In fact, this chibi son was even more evil than the evil stepmother. Oh our poor beautiful chibi!
But no fear, as with all fairytales, good would always triumph over evil and in the end our beautiful poor chibi would find his true love and live happily ever after. And so my dear reader, thus begins our wonderful story of "Chibirella".
Our story begins one fine sunny day, where our hero, whom we shall addressed as Chibirella, woke up to the cheerful singing of the lovely pigeons roosting right on his window sill. And as per usual, Chibirella being his kind hearted self, smiled at the lovely singing birds, opened the window and offered the little cuties some seeds as a reward for their beautiful songs. Some of the birds, fluttered their wings excitedly upon seeing the seeds, and hopped from the window sill onto the opened palms of Chibirella.
Chibirella graced the little birds with a beautiful smile…and grasped the little suckers by the necks and threw them into the pre-prepared soundproof birdcage that was hidden behind his night stand. Mission accomplished, our beautiful Chibirella slammed shut the now deserted window and fell back onto his bed and began snoring away once again.
But alas, our poor Chibirella's beauty sleep was disturbed by none other than his evil wicked stepmother, who with nary a knock, kicked opened our hero's door and proceeded to make our poor Chibirella's eyes rot by prancing in front of him in a neon green fluffy blouse decorated lavishly with luminous yellow tennis balls. Oh poor Chibirella's eyes!
Evil wicked stepmother, whom was also known by the name of hair-twirling-fashion-challenged-cunning-manager, pranced in front of Chibirella (making his eyes watered further) and demanded harshly, "Does this pants make my ass look fat?"
Oh the horror! Oh the dread! What a terrible question to ask! Everyone and anyone knew that the wrong answer to such a question could mean terrible torture and even, horrors of all horrors, having to drink the dreaded and infamous Inui's Juice!
Chibirella, being a honest and wonderfully kind hearted chibi, did not want to hurt his evil wicked stepmother's feelings, so he answered, "Of course the pants does not make your ass look fat. You have a fat ass, so it is your fat ass that is making your fat ass look fat. Not the pants." He assured his evil wicked stepmother. See what a kind chibi our darling Chibirella was! So kind, so gentle. Nowhere else in the chibi world could you find a chibi as gentle and kind hearted as our darling Chibirella.
As the evil wicked stepmother spluttered and gasped for air in excitement at the nice reply that Chibirella gave him, another evil presence made his way into Chibirella's room. It was horrors of all horrors, his eviler and wickeder stepbrother! Oh no, run Chibirella run!
Alas our Chibirella was blessed with too good a heart, he could not bare to be so rude as to flee away from his eviler and wicker stepbrother. Being a chibi with courtesy, he immediately warmly greeted his eviler and wicker stepbrother by lifting him up by his collar and saying, "What the hell do you want you darn brat?" Accompanied with a couple of loving jerks and shakes of his eviler and wickeder stepbrother.
"Akutsu nii-chan! Good morning desu! What would you like to have for breakfast desu? I have blueberry pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs and toasts desu. All done in the way you like desu. We received a crate of fresh apples and oranges this morning desu. I can make fresh fruit juice for you desu. Do you prefer orange juice or apple juice desu?" His eviler and wicker stepbrother demanded unreasonably.
Chibirella's eyes began to bleed in pain from all the "desu" that his eviler and wickeder stepbrother was deliberately poisoning his sentences with. Oh the pain, oh the torture. At least he can ignore the visual torturing just by closing his eyes but how can it be possible to totally block out all sounds. Dear reader, now you know why Chibirella's stepbrother is even more evil and wicked. Poor poor tortured Chibirella. Oh where is the prince who will come galloping upon his marvelous white chibi horse and rescue you from all this torture?
But fear not for our beautiful and kind-hearted Chibirella, for his prince was currently preparing for the all important ball that will unite our Chibirella with his darling prince for all eternity and happiness. Let us now take a peek into what is happening on the other side.
Ahhh, we have spotted our prince standing in front of his royal parents, the Chibi King and Queen, in the royal chibi throne room. Our royal highness, the Chibi King had just stood up from his royal cushy seat and was now currently preparing to announce an important message.
"Ore-sama no bigin ni yoi na!"
The Chibi King then turned to his beloved Chibi Queen and waited for his Queen to make his announcement. Chibi Queen stood up from his seat and declared in a serious and deadpanned voice,
"Minna, yudan sasu ni ikou!"
Oh what enlightening messages they were! The chibis of Chibi Kingdom were indeed fortunate to be blessed with such genius rulers!
Armed with such wondrous and inspiring messages, the Chibi Prince and chibi palace workers worked hard to make the up-coming ball a success. And one of the first things they did, was to send out the invitations to the ball to all the eligible chibis in the Kingdom.
The household that our beautiful Chibirella lived in was one of the many that had received the invitation. But alas, the plans for our Chibirella to meet his Chibi Prince were rapidly going down the chibi sewage system, all because of the unreasonable demands of the evil and wicked stepmother and the eviler and wickeder stepbrother of poor Chibirella.
"Why can't Dan-chan go to the ball?" The hair-twirling-fashion-challenged-cunning-manager A.K.A. the evil and wicked stepmother demanded unreasonably.
"Because I said so, you fashion victim!" came the reasonable and gentle response from our sweet little Chibirella.
Hands fisted onto his hips, hair-twirling-fashion-challenged-cunning-manager A.K.A. the evil and wicked stepmother burst out in unprovoked anger directed at our innocent Chibirella, "That's it, you are grounded! Into your room now!"
"Che! As if I will listen to what a fruit cake tells me!" Chibirella calmly explained himself.
At this moment, the eviler and wickeder stepbrother decided to butt in and rudely interrupted the conversation, "If that is what Akutsu nii-chan wants me to do desu. I don't mind not going to the ball desu."
"See! Dan doesn't mind so butt your fat ass out of my business!" Chibirella gently told his hair-twirling-fashion-challenged-cunning-manager A.K.A. the evil and wicked stepmother.
The evil and wicked stepmother turned red in anger at the calm, logical and kind way that Chibirella explained himself. He stormed out of the room and up the stairs towards the tanning room that his husband was in and was soon bitching the ears off Chibirella's poor dad, who had to stop his tanning to listen to his beloved wife's rantings.
The day of the much awaited and much prepared for ball soon arrived. Much to the relief of the royal planner, nicknamed Mother Hen, who had nearly drove himself nuts worrying over each and everything. He had to worry about the royal chef, who goes bat shit crazy, whenever he had a spatula in his hands. He had to worry about the fight between the two royal dressmakers, who could not seem to agree on the perfect look for the royal prince. One wanted the prince to spiked his hair up, while the other claimed that the prince would look miles better with a bandana on his head. He even had to worry about the two royal pets, Kiku and Ryoryo, whom both seemed to have it in their little kitten heads that it was the perfect time to go havoc and create mass chaos at every turn. Most of all, he had to worry whether the scheming royal sorcerer was scheming up any scheming schemes to get the royal highness, the serious but really too darn dense Chibi Queen, into his bed again. Come to think of it, that last problem really was not his area of concern at all. Ahem, to make the long story chibi short, the royal planner was relieved.
However, all hell was breaking loose in the Chibirella's household at the moment. Hair-twirling-fashion-challenged-cunning-manager A.K.A. the evil and wicked stepmother had finally lost his mind. That was the only reason to explain why he was currently stationed behind the kitchen counter and throwing pots, pans, plates, knives and various other dangerous and life threatening objects at an entirely clueless and poor Chibirella.
"Get away from me you freak! Don't come any closer! I am warning you! Put that chain-saw down! If you kill me, I will come back and haunt you for the rest of your miserable life!" The evil and wicked stepmother viciously threatened poor Chibirella.
"Where is Dan!" Chibirella gently asked his lunatic evil and wicked stepmother, taking another step forward, chain-saw in his hands.
"Okay, okay! I'll tell you! Dan-chan went to the ball! It's not my idea at all, I swear! The Palace sent a car and a suit for Dan over just an hour ago. It seems that the Prince specifically asked for him!" The evil and wicked stepmother screamed at Chibirella.
Chibirella, not able to cope with his evil and wicked stepmother's hysterics and threats any longer, fled hurriedly from the room. Chain-saw still in hand.
While his poor stepbrother, Chibirella, was suffering and was being threatened by his mother, the eviler and wickeder stepbrother Dan was, on the other hand, having a wonderful time at the ball. He had caught the attention of the Chibi Prince and was currently having the time of his life basking in the affections of the charming Prince. In fact, he was enjoying himself so much that he was shivering from the overwhelming joy he felt from the prince invading into his personal space and placing his charming hands onto his shivering-from-joy-body. Really. What? You don't believe me? Phuu~!
He DID NOT resisted at all when the charming Chibi Prince took his shivering-from-overwhelming-joy-hand and pulled him up into a empty room that turned out to be the Chibi Prince's bedroom and locked it. Oh no! The eviler and wickeder stepbrother was going to seduce the Chibi Prince, who should be together with our beautiful and kind Chibirella!
But wait, who is that banging on the closed door of the Chibi Prince's bedroom? Rejoice dear reader, for it is our hero, Chibirella, here to save his prince from his eviler and wickeder stepbrother!
The Chibi Prince desperately wanted to go to the door to where his rightfully beloved was but he was stopped by the eviler and wickeder stepbrother, who currently had the poor Chibi Prince trapped on his body. The eviler and wickeder stepbrother had even trapped the Chibi Prince's hands on his wrists and was struggling with all his might to not let the Chibi Prince let go off his wrists. He even kicked the poor prince viciously in the shin as a sign of affection.
On the other side of the door, Chibirella could clearly hear the sounds of struggle and shouting going on in the room. The usually gentle and sweet Chibirella finally lost his temper and burst a blood vessel when he heard the Chibi Prince asking his eviler and wickeder stepbrother to stop struggling and just go with the flow and his eviler and wickeder stepbrother shouting no back. Oh the cheek of his eviler and wickeder stepbrother to still try and seduce the Chibi Prince with him right outside the door!
Using the chain-saw in his hands, Chibirella cut down the hard and heavy wooden door. What he saw shocked and angered him beyond words. His eviler and wickeder stepbrother had grabbed the Chibi Prince's hand and put it down his pants. Oh how shameless could he be!
Chibirella saw red. This time he really was angry. Angrier than he had ever been before. Torrents of jealously and rage poured over him as he took in the scene. He rushed up to the where his eviler and wickeder stepbrother and Chibi Prince was, reached out a long, pale arm grabbed the evil bastard by the neck and was more than ready to beat the chibi crap out of him. But a hand shot out to stop him, making him turned to look menacingly at who the idiot chibi, who had so stupidly interfered, was.
The interfering chibi pleaded with Chibirella not to hurt the evil bastard chibi because it will land Chibirella in The Royal Chibi Prison for assault. Chibirella was not planning on listening but being an extremely kind-hearted chibi, changed his mind when a fat drops of tears began rolling down the chibi's face. Chibirella's heart ached upon seeing the sadness on the crying chibi's face. Thus, he decided to not beat the chibi crap out of the evil bastard. He tossed the evil chibi away like a rag chibi doll and gently pulled the crying chibi into a tight hug, all the while comforting him with soft words of love. Chibirella then lifted the now softly sobbing chibi into his arms and made his way out of the room. (But not before giving the evil bastard chibi a hard and vicious kick in the stomach on the way out.)
In the end, the love that was meant to be between Chibirella and the Chibi Prince never came about. Poor Chibirella. And all this was the eviler and wickeder stepbrother's fault. Because you see, dear reader, after that harrowing incident, Chibirella did not trust his eviler and wickeder stepbrother to be alone with anyone any longer. It was his civic and moral duty as the stepbrother of the eviler and wickeder stepbrother to make sure that such a situation would never happen again. So Chibirella selflessly decided to forgo his future happiness and instead spend the rest of his chibi life with his eviler and wickeder stepbrother.
So now whenever you happened to spot the eviler and wickeder stepbrother out on the streets, you would be sure to see poor Chibirella beside him, with his arms trapped tightly around his eviler and wickeder stepbrother's shoulder. An vicious glare can also be seen on Chibirella's face. But that is only because kind and sweet Chibirella was trying to prevent any other chibis getting too near his eviler and wickeder stepbrother and suffer the same fate as the poor Chibi Prince and end up getting unwittingly seduced by his eviler and wickeder stepbrother.
And alas, not only do poor Chibirella had to forgo his future happiness but the lovely singing birds no longer enjoyed the morning feeding that kind and gentle Chibirella gave them. Because taking his moral and civic duty very seriously, Chibirella had managed to begged his eviler and wickeder stepbrother to sleep together in the same room with him. (So as to keep a closer watch on his eviler and wickeder stepbrother of course. Why are you laughing?)
The begging went something like this:
"You will from this point onwards sleep with me in my room," pleaded poor sweet Chibirella gently.
"Yes, Akutsu nii-chan. I move my futon over," eviler and wickeder stepbrother replied rebelliously.
"Together on the same bed. No arguments about that," came another gentle plead.
"Yes, Akutsu nii-chan," eviler and wickeder stepbrother replied, red in the face.
And after agreeing to sleeping in the same room with Chibirella, the eviler and wickeder stepbrother, being an eviler and wickeder stepbrother made an outrageous and selfish demand.
The demand went something like this:
"Akutsu nii-chan, do you think you can like eh eh…" went the loud demand from the eviler and wickeder stepbrother.
"What? Speak up! I told you to speak up whenever you are with me!" came the gentle reply.
"Not...strangle...thosecutelittlebirds...everymorning," came the outrageous and selfish demand from the eviler and wickeder stepbrother, accompanied by giving poor Chibirella the evil glare, which consisted of a wobbling pouting lower lip and big cute and sad puppy dog eyes. Truly an eviler and wickeder stepbrother, that Dan.
Chibirella being the sweet and kind-hearted chibi of cause gave in to the eviler and wickeder stepbrother's demands. Even though, it meant that he could not feed the birds every morning ever again, which was something he enjoyed very much. Seriously, the struggling of the birds had nothing to do with his enjoyment of feeding them. Serious.
Alas my dear reader, I am sad to have to say that it seemed that the tale of good triumphing over evil and finding true love and happiness for all eternity was not meant to be for our dear Chibirella. For our sweet, kind-hearted, gentle, caring, beautiful and lovely Chibirella had selflessly decided to forgo his future happiness and instead spend the rest of his chibi life looking after his eviler and wickeder stepbrother to make sure that he does no more bad deeds. Oh what a noble chibi our dear Chibirella is. And that in itself is a wonderful tale.
The End.
P.S. By the way, due to the vicious threats and demands made by the eviler and wickeder stepbrother, the eviler and wickeder stepbrother will no longer be called the eviler and wickeder stepbrother but by his given name Dan Taichi. And Chibirella will now also be called by his given name Akutsu Jin. This is as I have already mentioned the fault of T.E.A.W.S. and DEFINITELY NOT our darling, sweet, gentle, kind C. Really.
The End.
For Real.