Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and all of the characters, I do not. The part in italics is quoted directly from New Moon.
I stepped out onto the edge, keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me. My toes felt ahead blindly, caressing the edge of the rock when they encountered it. I drew in a deep breath and held it…waiting.
"Bella."
I smiled and exhaled.
Yes? I didn't answer out loud, for fear that the sound of my voice would shatter the beautiful illusion. He sounded so real, so close. It was only when he was disapproving like this that I could hear the true memory of his voice - the velvet texture and the musical intonation that made up the most perfect of all voices.
"Don't do this," he pleaded.
I prepared to jump. All of a sudden, an icy arm was around my waist, pulling me back from the edge. "Edward?" I gasped in shock. This was so real, it didn't seem like a hallucination, but it had to be, didn't it? He didn't care about me.
"Bella, what were you thinking?!" he shouted angrily as he spun me around to face him. "You could have been killed!" I could see the pain that twisted his angelic face.
"Edward…" was all I could say. This had to be a hallucination, I had to have fallen off and been knocked unconscious, or killed, there was nothing else I could think of to explain what was happening to me right now. He was here, he must care, he must still love me…… no, I couldn't bring myself to hope.
"Bella, what were you thinking?" he repeated, softer this time. I could see the love in his golden eyes, and I knew I had to be hallucinating.
"I…" I said, at a loss for words, I decided to just tell him the truth. This was a hallucination, anyway, what could it hurt? "I wanted to hear your voice again," I murmured. Seeing the confusion in his eyes, I continued. "The past few months without you have been torture. And then, I realized, whenever I broke my promise and did something reckless and stupid, I could hear your voice again."
"That's what this is about?" Realization dawned on his perfect face. "Oh… Bella, I'm so sorry I ever left you!" The horror and grief was plain in his voice. "I love you Bella, I'm so sorry…" he said as he held me close and stroked my hair. I laid my head on his chest, breathing deeply, trying to memorize his scent.
"I knew this was just a hallucination, you don't really love me, but it's so nice to hear you say it, even if it's only in my mind."
He pulled back abruptly, holding me at arms length to scrutinize my face, seeing if I was joking. "What are you talking about? I'm here," he was obviously worried I had lost my mind.
"I told you, this is just a hallucination. I was about to jump off the cliff, so I could hear your voice again, and I must have fallen and been knocked unconscious. There's no way this could be real."
"Bella, please," he begged. "This is real, I'm really here." When I looked at him with disbelieving eyes, he let out a low roar of frustration. "What do I have to do to make you see?" he asked, more gently this time. I couldn't breathe as he leaned down and kissed me tenderly on the lips. My heart stopped, and my head started spinning as I responded to his kiss, throwing my arms around his neck. I smiled as he pulled back, and I noticed that he was smiling as well.
"You really are here, this is real…." I said in wonder. I was so happy, I felt as if my heart would swell out of my chest at any moment.
Edward simply nodded once before pulling me in for another kiss. He held me securely to him, and I could tell that he never wanted to let go. I never wanted him to let go, either.
"How did you find me?" I asked when he finally pulled away. We were both unaware of the wind blowing around us and the rain falling and soaking us through.
"Bella, you have no idea how hard it was. I only knew where to find you because Alice had seen you. She told me you were going to jump," he paused, I could see that it hurt him to even speak these words, "and we both assumed that you had been trying to kill yourself. And I knew it was my fault, I felt horrible. I knew I would find a way to end my own life if I was too late….." he trailed off, and once again I could see the pain that welled up in his eyes, the unspeakable grief that twisted his perfect features. It hurt so bad to see him like that.
"Edward, it wasn't like that. I wasn't trying to kill myself, I knew this was fairly safe. I only meant to be reckless so I could hear your voice again. If you torture yourself like this I'll never forgive you. You're being stupid." At this we both smiled. I could see some of the pain leave his eyes, but not all of it. I knew how to fix that.
"I love you, Edward." I could see all the pain leave his eyes now. I smiled as I pulled him in for another kiss. He wrapped his arms more tightly around me, if that was possible, and I held him as close as I could manage.
"I love you too, Bella. I always have and I always will. Never think any different," he murmured as he gently laid his cheek on the top of my head and stroked my hair. In that moment, I felt complete, whole again. Neither one of us stopped smiling as we walked back to my truck, or on the way back to my house. Charlie still wasn't home, for which I was thankful, I just wanted time to talk and be alone with Edward.
We walked up to my room, our fingers laced together tightly. When we reached my room we simply sat on the edge of my bed, holding each other close. I was the first to break the silence.
"Why did you leave me, Edward?" I asked gently, the pain evident in my voice. He sighed.
"Because, I thought you would be safer without me. I can see now that I was wrong. This mess with Victoria, and you nearly killing yourself, trying to be reckless just to hear my voice again," he trailed off, obviously very ashamed by what he had done. "I'm so sorry, Bella, I'm so sorry," he whispered. It seemed to me like it was the millionth time he'd apologized tonight.
"It's all right, Edward. As long as you're here now." I rested my head on his shoulder. "Please, Edward, don't ever leave me again." I was crying now. He placed an icy finger under my chin and tilted my head up so that I was looking into his eyes, and he gently wiped the tears from my face.
"I swear, Bella, I'll never leave you again. Never."
I could see in his warm, liquid gold eyes that he meant it. He pressed his cold lips to my forehead, before pressing them to mine once more. And in that moment, for the first time in longer than I cared to think about, I was whole and happy once more.