A/N: Hmm. So I haven't written anything on here for a long while, but I thought I'd give it a go. I've recently started watching Veronica Mars, and got completely hooked. I'm only about a third into the second season, so bear with me. The story is from Logan's point of view, and it takes place about halfway through the second season, after Veronica has broken up with Duncan. The song is called "Sway" by The Perishers, and it's actually a song from the Veronica Mars album, and I absolutely love it, so I think you should definitely take a listen. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, song, or lyrics. But you probably guessed that.
Sway
I talked to you as to a friend-
I hope that's what you've come to be.
It feels as though we've made amends,
Like we finally, eventually.
It was you who picked the pieces up,
When I was a broken soul,
And then glued me back together.
Returned to me what others stole.
I don't want to hurt you,
I don't want to make you sway.
Like I know I've done before-
I will not do it anymore.
I've always been a dreamer,
And hide my head among the clouds.
But now that I'm coming down.
Won't you be my solid ground?
I look at you and see a friend
I hope that's what you want to be
Are we back now where it all began?
Have you finally forgiven me?
You gathered my dreams in
When they all blew away
And then tricked them back into me.
You saved me, I was almost dead.
I don't want to hurt you,
I don't want to make you sway.
Like I know I've done before-
I will not do it anymore.
I've always been a dreamer,
And hide my head among the clouds.
But now that I'm coming down,
Won't you be my solid ground?
I don't want to hurt you,
Like I know I've done before-
I will not do it anymore.
I don't want to hurt you,
I don't want to make you sway.
Like I know I've done before-
I will not do it anymore.
I've always been a dreamer,
And hide my head among the clouds.
Well, now that I'm coming down,
Won't you be my solid ground?
Logan sat on the bench. He had been walking for hours now, and he wasn't quite sure where he was. The sun was beginning to rise and he realized he must've been out all night. But it didn't really matter- who was there to worry about him? His mom, his dad? Too late for that. Trina? Please. She hadn't even thought of him since the time she'd been after the inheritance. Veronica? Well, not anymore.
The last thread he had that connected him to the rest of the world was floating away into the distance, like a lost balloon in the sky. She had cut him loose just a few hours ago, not knowing that it was the only thing that had kept him tethered to the ground, not knowing that she was the only thing that kept him from drifting away, from leaving, from disappearing.
And he only wished she knew.
The bench was cold, but he could barely tell. There were streaks of color in the sky, signaling that the sun was coming. Logan shook his head. "At least the sun'll kill me if I float away long enough," he said to himself, the image of the balloon in the sky popping when the sun touched it.
All he knew was that without her, he pretty much had two options: float forever, or get popped by the sun.
He tried floating first. It was the easy thing, he supposed. Wasn't floating supposed to be easy? You just lie there and let the wind take you where it may. No work, no worries. You don't do anything; you let the world do it all.
And so soon, that was what he was doing: just floating.
He came to school, he saw her there, he talked to her sometimes, only when their paths crossed. He didn't let himself think of her, he didn't let himself see the images of her and Duncan together that burned through his mind. He ignored all feelings- the pang in his chest, the sting in his heart.
He went to school, came back home to the hotel he was staying at, and stayed there. Sometimes he ate, sometimes he didn't. Sometimes he slept, sometimes he didn't. Eventually, he learned to go out, to laugh with others, to find a girl for the night, to never leave home without the happy face he wore all the time now.
He began to rewire himself to work again, understanding that he had to at least live, had to at least breathe, to float.
But soon he realized how hard the floating was.
The floating that kept running him close to her, and then, right at the last second, too far away. The floating that kept him swirling around in circles, making him dizzy until all he saw was that which he could not have. All he saw was her.
There wasn't much to the actual action of floating, Logan decided, but there was definitely something to the side effects.
When he saw her in the hallways, he felt pushed towards her, the little balloon in the sky being moved by the wind, and he worked up the courage to speak to her again, to say something, anything, and then Duncan would come up before he'd taken two steps, and the winds moved him back across to where he wouldn't even be allowed to think of her again.
The winds stormed the day he found out that Duncan and Veronica had broken up. The winds were pushing him, pushing him towards her, and he got so close that he nearly cried, but then they picked up and carried him away again, away from her, away from his life.
Again, he sat at the hotel, on the bed.
The realization that was his life now hit him hard,
From now on, he was to look at her from far away, to see but never know. From now on, he was to wish and pray, to love but never have. From now on, he was to wait for the winds to take him there and hope that they wouldn't carry him away again.
And he couldn't take it.
So he thought about her- truly thought about her- for the first time in months.
He remembered her smile, her laugh, the way her eyes lit up when he was with her. He remembered long walks on the beach, jokes on the pier, kisses in the hallways, love in her eyes.
He remembered everything about his life that was good with her, and everything that mattered to him. He remembered who she was and what she was and how she was, and he remembered himself with her.
He looked outside his window, seeing the first few rainbow streaks of the sunrise creeping along the sunrise.
And he realized that he couldn't float anymore.
Floating had seemed like the perfect option for him before- effortless, painless. But now he realized that floating was those without their own life. Floating wasn't for those with ties to the ground, with ties to other people. Floating was lonely, and it hurt.
There was only one option left for him now. He had to head straight for the sun. He had to race to the collision, and hope that the best would happen.
He would either be torn by the sun and drift to the ground, where she could catch him and make him whole again.
Or he could be shredded by the sun, ransacked by the wind, and left alone somewhere, broken.
It was a risk, but taking a risk was better than floating. A person can only float for so long before they hit the sun. So why not just head for the sun early? At least the waiting's gone.
Veronica was sitting alone at the beach. She was sitting on a bench, staring up at the sky.
She looked perfect, angelic even, now that he fully allowed himself to look at her after all these months. She stood up when she saw him. And then she looked at him, like she had been waiting for him, like she was ready to hear what he needed to say, ready to let him be what he needed to be.
"Logan?" she asked. Her voice was quiet, but hearing her say his name like that was the loudest thing in his world.
"Hi," he said, after a pause, getting himself together. Head for the sun. "Veronica, I need to talk to you."
She looked at him and nodded. She knew better than to talk right now, when it was all he could do to get the words out.
"I miss you," he said. "I've missed you so much. I know that I haven't acted like much of a great guy in the past, I know that I've done things, I know that I've been wrong- but I also know that I've loved you."
Her eyes clouded up with something- concern, worry?
He laughed to himself. "I've loved you since I don't know when. And I've tried to forget it, ignore it, whatever. But it's not working. All I want is to stay with you and be with you and talk to you and laugh with you and love you. Every time I think about you, I want to hold you, and every time I see you, I want to kiss you. It's all I can do to stand here now, and just keep talking."
Her eyes still had that look in them, and it scared him. He was afraid of living alone, in pieces, broken.
"I know that I can't change your mind. I just had to say- I just had to tell you that I-"
She kissed him, and all he felt was love from his head to his toes and all he knew was her from the past to the future.
When they pulled apart, he looked in her eyes, and the clouds had drifted away, leaving only happiness in them.
"-That I love you," he finished.
They both stared at each other than laughed.
"Was that you telling me that you missed me too, or just a clever way to get me to shut up?" Logan asked her, trying to suppress his grin, but unable to do so.
"Why can it not be both?" Veronica asked, smiling at him.
"You know, I'm okay with that answer," he said, and he reached for her hand. Their fingers quickly intertwined as if even they had missed being together.
They began to walk together along the beach, hands together, her head on his shoulder, content to be with each other, until Veronica spotted something in the sky.
"Look!" she said. "There's a balloon up there," she said.
Logan glanced up to the sky to see what she was seeing, and sure enough, the tiny outline of a balloon bobbed among the clouds.
"I wonder how long those things stay up there," she said. "I hope it stays up there a long time, floating like that. It must be nice."
"I hope it hits the sun and pops," said Logan.
She looked at him with an odd look, and he shrugged. "When it floats, nothing happens to it. It's life isn't good; it's just there. If it pops, it comes back to the ground, and then maybe the right person will find it, and pick up the pieces…"
She kissed him.
"And then they'll bring it home," she finished, and kissed him again.
A/N: What did you think? Good, bad? Have any ideas for me? Let me know! :)