It has been forever since I wrote any fanfiction, but I want to get back into the game. So here is a slightly depressing (big surprise, right?) Nalu one-shot.
I know you're somewhere out there;
Somewhere far away
Natsu fell to his knees. He stared hard at the freshly turned dirt, refusing to acknowledge the headstone in front of him. A few tears fell from his shining obsidian eyes, soaking into the earth beneath him; the earth that separated him from his long time partner, and his best friend. Finally, shoulders shaking, the dragon slayer managed to look up. Through eyes blurred with pain, he read the words on the tombstone.
Here Lies Lucy Heartfilia, a Mage of Fairy Tail
Watching From a Place Beyond Time and Space
Among the Stars Who She Loved,
Where We Might Someday Join Her
Natsu let out an unearthly scream. He howled into the night, and a burst of flames escaped from his mouth. They engulfed his body, illuminating the cemetery with a bright red glow. Tears poured from his eyes, only to evaporate on his cheeks. He clenched his fists, nails digging into his own palms, and then ran his hands through his wild pink hair frantically. Natsu bit down on his lip, hoping to stifle another scream, but he cut himself with his sharp canines, and he let loose another cry of pain. As his fire slowly burned out, Natsu looked up to the starry heavens, and he screamed her name.
"LLUUUUUCCCCCYYYY!"
And I want you back,
I want you back.
My neighbors think I'm crazy,
But they don't understand;
Natsu stared down at his plate of food. He was hungry, but the more he looked at it, the less he felt like eating. He sighed, and prodded a a piece of chicken with his finger. He lifted it to his mouth, but his gut clenched, and he set it back down on the plate gingerly.
"Thanks for the meal, Mira, but I have to go," Natsu said to the silver-haired barista. He turned to get off the bar stool, but a gentle hand clasped his shoulder.
"Natsu, wait," Mira pulled him back to face her. "Have you been feeling any better Natsu? You still aren't eating. Everything I give you only comes back."
"Mira, I'm fine. I'm just not hungry," he tried to give her a weak smile.
The eldest take-over mage returned it with a sad grin of her own. "Natsu, don't lie to me. I know well enough what it feels like to lose someone you love. I remember the pain that you are feeling now . . . but I think you have grieved for long enough. It's been a month, Natsu. She is not coming back. You need to accept that. It's time for you to smile again, Natsu"
He looked up at his comrade, his normally lively onyx eyes transformed into black pools of desperation. "What do you mean, Mira. I can't let her go. She never left me. She is out there; I talk to her sometimes."
Mira furrowed her brows in confusion. She let go of Natsu's shoulder. "Natsu, what do you mea- Natsu, wait!" It was no use. He was already gone. The doors to the guild closed behind him.
You're all I had,
You're all I had.
At night when the stars light up my room;
I sit by myself,
Talking to the moon;
Trying to get to you
Soon after her funeral, Natsu had gone to Lucy's apartment and collected all of her things. He took everything that reminded him of Lucy. He took her bed, her drawers, her writing desk with all her papers, her books, and anything that smelled like her. Back at his own house, he cleared out one of his messy rooms. He put all of Lucy's belongings in there, rearranging them to look like her bedroom.
Now, he sat on her bed, clutching her pillow to his chest. He inhaled deeply. Her familiar scent filled his nose, but it was stale. Even her smell was dead, it's beautiful warmth barred from him. The faded aroma became mixed with the sharp smell of salt. Natsu's tears dripped onto the pillow, turning the soft, baby pink fabric a wet, dark shade. He fought to stop, wanting to preserve her alluring scent as long as possible, but the tears only came faster.
Natsu squeezed the pillow even tighter, and turned his tear stained face to the open window. He stared up into the night sky. It was a clear night. The dark sky twinkled with millions of stars. It was Lucy's favorite kind of sky; the kind where she could see the stars that connected her to her celestial spirits.
Without looking away from the window, Natsu groped around on the nightstand. He felt the shape of Lucy's key pouch, and picked it up. The soft leather pouch was empty. All of the keys had been entrusted to Yukino, as Lucy had wished. The Celestial Spirit King had allowed all of them to come out during her burial, so that they could all say one final goodbye to their beloved mistress. Afterwards, the white-haired celestial spirit mage formed new contracts with each spirit. All of the keys were passed onto her, with the exception of the King's key. That one vanished in a golden glow as soon as Lucy's body was lowered into the ground.
"Lucy . . . why? Why did you leave me?" Natsu whispered in a hoarse voice. He glared up at the starry sky accusingly. "You stole her from me! She belongs here, with me; where I can see her smile, and she can make me smile. Lucy, come back to me . . . please," his voice fell from a harsh shout back to a pleading whisper.
In hopes you're on the other side,
talking to me too;
Or am I a fool,
who sits alone . . . talking to the moon?
I'm feeling like I'm famous;
The talk of the town;
They say I've gone mad;
Yeah, I've gone mad.
Natsu trudged along the streets of Magnolia, making his way to the guild. Happy flew along behind him, a worried frown on his furry face. His little ears twitched, and he occasionally darted his head around to look at the other citizens. Many of them were staring at Natsu, and some of them were talking in hushed tones while occasionally shooting him curious looks. The dragon slayer didn't seem to notice, but it made the blue Exceed nervous.
"N-natsu. Why is every one staring at you? I think they are talking about you," Happy flew down to his partner's ear and worriedly told him about his observations.
Natsu looked up. He saw what Happy was talking about. Paying attention to the sounds around him this time, he kept walking.
"Is something wrong with Natsu?"
"I hear he hasn't taken any missions since his partner, the celestial mage, Lucy, died in the battle."
"Yeah, and there has been nothing in the papers about any destroyed towns. Was he in love with her, do you know?"
"I don't know. It certainly seems that way though. Anyone else would have gotten over her death by now. When someone is gone, they are gone. There is no bringing them back, and he is crazy if he hopes that will ever happen."
Natsu smirked, but it quickly relapsed into his, now normal, emotionless countenance.
When he reached the guild hall, he gently pushed the doors open. Without greeting anyone, he walked over to the missions board. He looked carefully over the missions. Then, he saw one that caught his eye. Defeat a pack of monsters; Reward is 100,000 jewels. He tore it off the board and brought it over to Mira at the bar. She smiled when she saw him.
"Oh, you're taking a job, Natsu? That's great! What'll it be then?" She cheerily took the request out of his hands, but her smile faltered as she read it. Her eyes flickered between him and the sheet of paper worriedly, and she bit her lip. "Um, Natsu, this is a bit of a big job. Maybe, since it is your first mission in a while . . . you should take a slightly easier one."
"Mira, I'm taking this job. I'll be fine. I'm not on my own; Happy is coming with me." Natsu's voice was firm.
"Mira is right, Natsu. You have had no practice in over a month. Going on such a difficult mission after such a state of weakness," Erza commented from behind Natsu. She placed an armored hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off. "Natsu, it is fine to still feel grief about Lucy. I still feel sad; she was my friend too. But the answer isn't to kill yourself with work. Take an easier job. Work your way up to more difficult things."
"I'm fine Erza. I am not going to kill myself on a simple job. Besides, I'm not grieving. Lucy is still here, I know it. We talk every night. I can't hear her, but I know she's there." Natsu tried to give the two a toothy smile, but it was pained. "Anyway, I'm taking this job. I'll be back in two days."
He walked out of the guild without another word, his dragon-scale scarf blowing behind him.
Blue eyes met brown ones. Concern and uncertainty reflected in both women's faces. Mira slowly picked up a dirty mug and began to scrub it clean.
"Flame-brain's gone crazy," Gray said, taking a seat at the bar next to Erza. "I mean, he was in love with Lucy, but talking to her!? The dead don't talk."
"It's not the first time he's mentioned . . . talking . . . to her. About a week ago, he claimed that Lucy never left him. It's like he refuses to acknowledge the fact that she's dead. In a way, it is kind of romantic, but also, like you said, Gray, crazy," Mira mused. She finished polishing the cup, and placed it face down to dry. "It's heartbreaking. I remember . . . when I thought I had lost Lisanna. I know how he feels, but I can't understand how he is dealing with it. How can it not hurt, to pretend someone is with you, when everything shows that they are gone? He must know that she is gone. It is only going to hurt him more to refuse to accept that fact."
But they don't know what I know,
'Cause when the sun goes down . . .
You're talking back;
Yeah you're talking back
At night when the stars light up my room;
I sit by myself,
Talking to the moon;
Trying to get to you.
Natsu laid his head down on his folded up coat and stretched out on his bedroll. Lacing his hands underneath his head, he looked up into the night sky. It was clear of any clouds, and bursting with tiny pricks of starlight. It had been like that ever since Lucy had died. Even on the rainy days, all rolling clouds had disappeared.
"Natsu," Happy said, tugging on his friend's scarf.
"Natsu turned to face his friend. "What's up, Happy?"
"What you told the others at the guild, about you talking to Lucy . . . Was it true? Do you really talk to her?" Happy fumbled with his paws anxiously, not wanting to upset Natsu.
The fire wielder smiled, his sharp teeth glinting in the dim light of the crescent moon. He reached his hand out and gently patted Happy on the head. "Of course I was telling the truth. Luce never really left us. You can see her, up there in the stars. You can talk to her too. And if you listen hard enough, you can hear her talking back."
Happy gulped, and his eyes began to water. He turned away from Natsu to look up at the sky. He shouted, "Lucy! Lucy, I miss you! I'm sorry about all the times I called you mean or heavy! I just really miss you, Lucy, and I wish you could be here again!" Tears were now falling in fast streams down the Exceed's face, and his nose was running as he struggled to finish his outburst through hiccups. He leaned against Natsu, still looking up to the stars and crying. Natsu wrapped his hand around Happy's shoulder to try and comfort him.
They sat together in silence, with the exception of Happy's sobs, for a few minutes. Then, Happy spoke again, "Natsu. Natsu, I can't hear her. Didn't you say that Lucy would talk back? Natsu, why isn't she talking back!?"
"Shh, Happy. Calm down. She does not always answer. Lucy is probably just annoyed with us because we keep talking. Remember how she was always telling us to shut up?" Natsu consoled the Exceed as he buried his furry head in his vest.
"I remember when she called you a pink haired idiot and kicked you out of her apartment," Happy teased Natsu and giggled lightly.
The fire-mage's cheeks colored a bit, and he looked away sulkily. "Oh sure, you remember that part. Why don't you get some rest? We should start heading back to the guild tomorrow. If we don't get back soon, Erza and Mira will kill us both."
Happy gulped fearfully and stuttered out, "A-aye sir!" He then wandered over to his own makeshift bed a few feet away from Natsu. Pausing for a moment, he decided to pull it a little closer to his companion before he lay down. He tucked the little blanket snuggly around him before drifting off to sleep.
After he was certain that Happy was sleeping, Natsu pouted at the sky and crossed his arms childishly. "That wasn't nice Luce. You won't talk to Happy. He misses you, but here you are ignoring him." He held his disapproving stare for only a few moments before his face softened, and he gave a small smile. "You know, Luce, sometimes I wonder if I really just imagine you talking. I wonder if the others are right to call me crazy . . . But then I remember you and all of the fun we had together. Nothing could ever take that away. Nothing could ever take you away from me. You must be there, somewhere far away."
In hopes you're on the other side
Talking to me too.
Or am I a fool,
Who sits alone, talking to the moon.
Do you ever hear me calling?
Cause every night
I'm talking to the moon
Still trying to get you
Natsu's large hand curled around the top of the headstone. He brushed his fingers across the top, sweeping away bits of dirt. Then, he sat down in front of it. He looked at the small patch of flowers that grew at the seam between rock and dirt. The petals were light blue, and they formed a cluster of little stars.
"Hi, Lucy. It's been a while since I came to visit. Did you miss me?" His voice was soft, just a little louder than a whisper. His pink hair was longer, now brushing his shoulders. The once wild spikes, weighed down by their own length, had become more gentle and curving. His eyes were still bright and lively, but beneath them were permanent bags from nearly a year of poor sleep.
"You've been kinda quiet lately. It's harder to hear you, so I decided to come back . . . I didn't want to forget your voice," Natsu trailed off. He gulped, and said, "I almost did, you know. When I was out there, looking for you and Igneel . . . I almost forgot what you sounded like. That's how I knew it was time to come back. I missed you, Luce. I want to see you again, not just talk to you."
Natsu twisted around to rummage through his bag. He pulled out a small package wrapped in brown paper. He undid the string that held it all together and removed the paper. Inside was a book. It had a deep blue cover with a painting of a silver dragon on it. He held it between him and the headstone, stroking the spine absentmindedly with his thumb.
"I found this book while I was traveling. I thought you might like it. Its kinda rare because it has a lot of information about dragons. You like books like this, right? I figured that we could read a little bit of it together every night," Natsu rubbed the back of his neck a little anxiously. "Does that sound good, Luce?"
He fell silent, waiting for an answer, and then he sighed. "I wish you would talk to me, Lucy. You were hard to hear at first, but now there is just nothing. I want to hear your voice again. I want to see your pretty blonde hair. I want to watch you as you fall asleep next to me after a hard mission. I want you to come back to me. Please . . . I love you, Luce . . ." A solitary tear rolled down his cheek and landed on the book.
Natsu slowly stood up. His legs shook slightly, and his breath caught in the back of his throat. Then, he gathered his things and walked out of the cemetery, towards home.
In hopes you're on the other side
Talking to me too,
Or am I a fool,
Who sits alone,talking to the moon
Here Lies Natsu Dragneel, Son of a Dragon
May the Man Who Never Stopped Fighting
Finally Rest,
Reunited With His Star
Two gravestones sat, side by side. One, new, had crisp, clean cut edges, the other was slightly smoothed by age. But together they would stay, until time wore them away to nothing, and the two souls moved on.
I know you're somewhere out there,
Somewhere far away.
Okay, not the best ending in the world, but I still managed to make myself cry! (Its Nalu, who wouldn't cry?) Let me know what you think by leaving a review! And if you want a much more cheerful Nalu story, check out The Key to the Dragon's Cage. I haven't updated in a while, but there should be a new chapter coming soon! Bye!
