AUTHORS NOTE: I do not own any part of Grey's Anatomy. Also this is my first fanfic so I am really hoping that you will R&R! Thanks so much! And I am hoping to have another chapter up soon! 0)

It had been a long day

It had been a long day. A long, long day. Meredith looked up from her drink and noticed so many of the little details that never seemed to matter before. She saw George actually enjoying himself as an intern, laughing with all of his new friends. Her eyes continued making their way across the room; noticing Cristina sulking near the dartboard because Hahn had once again, shot her down. Callie was dancing sensually with Mark. And Mark, he was clearly enjoying every movement she made. But not in the way Meredith had seen before. It almost looked like Callie meant something to him. And sitting close by at a table were Addison and Hahn. Hahn was staring intently at Callie and Mark, with at hint of jealousy in her eyes. This is strange since she had turned Mark down so many times. Was she really jealous that Callie was giving him all of this special attention? And then there was Addison. She was looking at Hahn with a confused yet curious look on her face, like she was looking for some kind of start to an unanswered question.

Some of these things had probably been going on for days but she didn't have the time to notice, or was it that she didn't take the time to notice. She was so consumed in her clinical trial, in Derek, in her dark and twisty life with her scary and damaged problems that she wasn't even noticing the people she spent most of her time around.

Although Meredith was now deep in her thoughts she saw Addison get up from her table, grab her purse, and head towards the exit. She had been so nice to Meredith that morning and before she knew it her mouth flew open trying to reciprocate the friendliness.

"Hey! You leaving already?" She said with a smile.

Addison slowly turned and looked at Meredith, "I have a plane to catch."

Addison turned to walk away, and Meredith began to think that that moment had been simple enough when all of the sudden Addison did a one-eighty and started talking to her again, "I walk on the beach now, I buy aroma therapy candles, I'm very Zen but I want to kick your ass so badly right now it is killing me." Now, not being so friendly Addison was looking at Meredith with a pissed off expression laying on her face.

Taken aback Meredith found herself pressing the conversation even though she was pretty sure she knew what it was about, and didn't want to touch the subject...especially with Addison. "Excuse me?"

"I'm talking about Derek. Derek. Christopher. Shepherd. Are you letting him get away?" Addison did not look happy and this was making Meredith feel extremely uncomfortable. She withdrew from her eyes from Addison's and they began darting around looking for something else to focus on. But unlike before when she had picked out so many details she couldn't find anything to look at but Addison.

"Because I swear to God Meredith if you let him ride off into the sunset with that doe-eyed little thing…" with that Addison took a deep breath and walked out of the bar. Meredith couldn't believe what had just happened. She sat there stunned and before she realized what she was doing, she grabbed her stuff, was up on her feet rushing towards the exit. She couldn't let Addison have the last words. Not when she didn't know what she was talking about.

"Addison! Wait!" Meredith yelled, unsure of what she was going to say. " You don't understand!" She was closer now and trying to keep her cool.

Addison turned around and Meredith noticed her eyes looked glassy, like she was about to cry. Meredith opened her mouth her to continue talking but nothing came out.

"Look Meredith, I didn't say what I said to you so that we could have a cat fight. Let's be honest, for two lady surgeons well that would just be so trashy," Meredith felt a small smile form on her face at this witty comment. Addison continued, " but, I don't know what happened with you and Derek, but whatever it was, is it really worth it? To watch him with her and by the look on your face right now, I don't think it is."

Meredith looked at her and decided to let Addison be her friend, to let her in, " It's just…it's just that I don't know how to trust him anymore, I can't trust him."

Addison looked at her with a furrowed brow, " You know what! Bull! I'm not buying it; I'm calling your bluff." Addison put her hands to her head with frustration. "You trust him. I know it and you know it. And not only do you trust him, but you also love him and that combination, in this lifetime, is hard to find. Believe me, I know. And the one thing that is holding you back, it's not that you don't trust him, Meredith. It's the fact that you're scared. You're scared to because most of the people that you have put your faith in before have made you feel like less of a person. But I guarantee you that he won't do that to you. He loves you Meredith, point blank. And that is all that needs to be said."

As Addison finished Meredith looked at her and this time it was her turn to almost cry. Addison put her hand on Meredith's arm gave her a look of encouragement and started to walk away.

"Addison…" she turned around and Meredith smiled, "I'm not going to let him ride off into that sunset unless I'm the one with him."

Addison smiled and as she opened her mouth to say something else her eyes changed target to something behind Meredith. Addison motioned her hand in that direction shrugged her shoulders and pursed her lips together. And then…she walked away.

Meredith closed her eyes because with out even looking she knew who was standing behind her. He was not even close to her and she could just sense that he was there. She turned around and looked Derek right in the eyes. "Hey." She said timidly.

"Hey. Were you just talking to Addison?" He asked with a small smile and a confused look in his eyes on his face.

"Uh, yeah."

"What could you and Addison possibly be talking about?" He looked at her and smiled. He looked at her with those eyes, the eyes that had been burned into her memory. The ones the kept her from thinking rationally most of the time.

"Uh, um." She hesitated. What should she, she felt like she had nothing to say. So Meredith tried to change the subject. "Look, I'm sorry that you had to tell Mrs. Robinson about her husband by yourself. That wasn't fair of me to put that on you. I just, I couldn't do it, not this time at least." She looked up at him.

Derek ran his hands over his face. "It's okay," He sat down on the bench near by, " I got my hopes up. I kept telling you not to and I let it happen to me."

Meredith sat down with him. " Well, if you ask me today was a long day." She turned her body toward him, and as she looked at him the conversation she had with Addison kept running through her head. Is it really worth it? To watch him with her. He turned his body toward hers and he smiled that smile and looked at her with those eyes for the second time that night. He loves you Meredith. And that is all that needs to be said.

She smiled back and she decided that she was going to tell him that she didn't want him with Rose. She wanted to be in his arms instead of watching him walk around the hospital with his rebound girl. She trusts him, she really did, and she wanted him to know that but he also need to know that she was scared. She was about to let everything she just thought to herself out of her mouth but she was cut off.

"So are you still in this? The clinical trial I mean."

"Yeah. Definitely." The courage she just had melted away from her and she decided to not let those words escape her. She decided not to let herself be weak.

He was still looking at her and still watching her but she didn't mind. He lifted his hand and she thought he was about to put it against her face. One of the things she missed the most. But, he didn't. And she knew that he wasn't going to because he was still technically with Rose. However he did lay it on the back of the bench his hand beside her arm and before she knew it he was holding her arm letting his thumb caress right underneath her shoulder. She looked down at her hands grasping on to each other for dear life, afraid of what she might try to do next. Or was she afraid of what she might not do next? She didn't know, she just knew that she was terrified.

"Meredith," she looked back up at him but this time she didn't see his dreamy smile,

"What were you and Addison talking about?"

"Uh, sunsets actually." She smiled after coming up with this answer because they really had been. So it technically wasn't a lie.

"Sunsets? What about them?"

" Well, just that in this life time, the good ones are hard to find." She smiled again, which made him smile in return.

"Okay. Well I'd better head in to Joe's. I told Mark I'd meet him there a while ago." Derek stood up and Meredith followed his lead.

"Well I hate to break it to you but I'm pretty sure I saw Mark leave an hour ago, with Callie if you'd like to believe it or not."

"Okay," Derek laughed at what Meredith had just said, " Well than I guess than, I'm going home."

"Yeah, me too."

"Goodbye Meredith." He smiled and turned to walk away.

"Goodbye Derek." She smiled even though he wasn't looking. Ashamed that she hadn't found the courage to tell him how she really felt but she turned and walked in the opposite direction than he had.