Aches, Devastation, Humiliation and Salvation

Morelli is out of Stephanie's life. Ranger is still not forthcoming which makes Stephanie believe he doesn't love her as she loves him. Then she makes the blunder to trust her best friend Lester Santos in solving her hormonal cravings and be nice about it, big mistake.

If you are a Lester fan you probably don't want to read this.

I don't have a beta, but I did have help in the grammar and flow department. All errors are mine. English isn't my first language; this is a first try at writing FF for JE and, of course, I own nothing of it. I do love to see what you think about this though, so if you would be so kind to read it and leave me a review, I would appreciate it immensely.

After what I had thought to be a 'friend with benefits' fuck, Lester Santos had left my apartment with a huge victory grin. Before he left though, my view of the world had crashed down around me, when he told me gleefully that he and my coworkers, whom I always fondly refer to as the Merry Men, betrayed me with a fucking bet.

They made a bet about who would get to fuck me first, Ranger or Lester. Lester told me that after I had led Ranger by the nose and him following me like a lovesick puppy for years to get into my panties, he would give it a try, and now, he thinks he has succeeded where Ranger has failed. He won the 3000 dollars, and was one happy camper, no regrets on his side. I couldn't get my head around the evilness of it all. The utter mortification alone was mind numbing.

I can't even imagine Ranger knowing of this bet, if he doesn't know, he must feel disappointed and enraged when he finds out. If he does know and hasn't stopped the bet, that would destroy me for sure. With Ranger, I had made love and felt it in my soul that one magical night we spent together. The Merry Men didn't know that Ranger could have me any time and any place he would want it. They didn't know I love Ranger more than my own life. But he doesn't want me; he pulls me in one moment and pushes me away the next, leaving me desperate every time he retreats again.

It is clear to me Ranger has no interest in a relationship with me, otherwise; I wouldn't have had this ruinous encounter with Lester. I can't do a casual fuck with Ranger, I'm much too involved. It would kill me if he would dismiss me again the morning after.

Those bastards probably don't know about the DeChooch deal. If they had they would know I already slept with Ranger, long before this grand FUBAR incident.

Hell, I have never felt this fucked over by anyone even with the Dick, Joe or my Mother combined and they were the worse until now. After Lester told me about the bet, I felt numbed and had the sensation I was floating above my body, somehow weirdly disconnected from it. My body feels cold, like it was already dead. Right now, I really wish I was. And I knew it was entirely my own fault. Be aware of your surroundings was the good advice I didn't take, like many others. Man, I'm brainless; I should've seen this coming.

Lester's manner was evil when he thought he rejected me before his departure. I asked him if he'd call me, and the hateful motherfucker thought I wanted a relationship with him and called me on it, laughing at me maliciously and telling me I'm nothing special and he would treat me the same as all the other women he fucked. 'Once was enough' was his style as he told me nastily. It made me feel used and dirty and wholly fucked over.

I'll go to Haywood and set those sons of bitches straight. I have to do something to even the score, and I will, even if it's the last thing I'll ever do. I don't want to think about the consequences of meeting Ranger or my coworkers. I sincerely hope Ranger isn't in Trenton at the moment; a confrontation with him would really break me into a million pieces, never to be whole again.

Getting my clothes, I dress in jeans, boots, a warm sweater and coat even as it was midsummer, it seems the chill in my bones won't want to leave any time soon. I can't avoid thinking on how wrong they are about Ranger, and after all, he should be the one getting the bet's money.

As I am sure Ranger won't want anything to do with me after this, and he is my one reason to live, I rather go far away from here. I can't live with my own stupidity and continue to see them all, laughing their heads off while I thought they were my friends, but I do have to have closure and let them know Lester didn't win this bet.

I could hardly concentrate on my driving. To be truthful I couldn't concentrate at all, my thoughts running rampant on all that had happened and what was to come. I am terrified there will be nothing left of me after today. I'm sure I will never be able to trust anybody anymore after this. Well, I have been naïve all my life so maybe it's a good thing. A lesson learned the hard way; I would have preferred the lesson to be a little less hard.

Finally arriving in the garage at Haywood made me think I couldn't go through with it and my resolution wavered for a moment. Taking a deep breath and squaring my shoulders I made it out of the car and walked to the elevator. I didn't look at the guy at the reception desk and pressed the button for the fifth floor waiting for it to get me there and get it over with.

The sight I met when I exited the elevator was grotesque, the control room was full of my coworkers, giving each other high fives and slapping on each other's backs, while a few of them were laughing hysterically. I didn't recognize all of them but the only three who didn't cohort with them where Tank, Bobby and Hector. They stood on the edge of the room near the entrance watching the show with disgust and anger written on their faces.

I walked over to Tank feeling humiliated as never before, I couldn't look him in the eye so when I stood before him, I just looked at my boots and asked him if I could say my piece and then I would go and get out of their life forever. His voice was soft and tender, which really surprised me, then he told me he would get the fucking assholes attention.

"Eh," he boomed. "Attention! motherfuckers and listen to the Lady. You better don't make a sound while she is talking or you will be sorry, do you understand?"

They all stood in attention like the 'good' soldiers they are, afraid to get on the wrong side of him. Cowards.

I couldn't look at them; I would just say what I thought I wanted to get rid of to set the record straight, and they knew how much they had hurt my feelings. I once thought they were my friends, so I deserve that. I took a deep breath gathering all the courage I could find and spoke.

"Today I received a life lesson I will never forget. There have been people whom have told me throughout my life I am good for nothing, but I always fought them. Thinking they were wrong. But today has proven them right. I am a good for nothing stupid woman."

I heard a few gasps but decided to ignore it and just get on with it before getting the fuck out of there.

"Today, I realized I made the biggest blunder of my life and we all know I make a lot of them… for years I've been living under the illusion I had friends here, and now I know I don't. Santos made sure I knew though, he's so helpful…"

"Now I have to tell you, that you are wrong about my relationship with Ranger, or who fucked me first, it was Ranger who was first. He had me long ago. I think it is only fair he gets the money," I stated with venom.

Now looking them in the eye one by one, I think I was getting angry now the shock wore off and to my relieve I didn't see Ranger about, which gave me more courage. Some of the guys who knew me were looking in shame at the floor, but fuck them they should have thought about it before they were getting involved in this unholy bet. Come on Stephanie get on with it I told myself, so I continued.

"From the moment I met Carlos Mañoso, I fell in love ... hard. But I was afraid of my strong attraction to him so I denied it. He has done everything possible for me to keep me save from the moment I met him. Ranger loved me as a friend, but he is not in love with me. You see, you think it is me, who doesn't want him in my bed and life, and there you are so wrong. I would take one day of bliss with him as to a lifetime with any other man. He is the most reliable, honourable, giving, and loyal man I know and I love him more than my own life. I would go through hell for him… as I am at the moment. I've arrived to hell a short time ago so you don't have to wait. It should make your day," I stated sarcastically.

"But as we have already established, I am a stupid woman. I never took his good advice in many things. As always being aware of my surroundings, it would have served me well if I had been aware of the nature of your loyalty to him or as a friend to me." A sad laugh escaped me.

"But he too, has played games with me, he leads me on and then pushes me away again which makes me vulnerable to bastards like Lester Santos. Santos seduced me and I let him, but then he thinks I care that he doesn't want to fuck me again. But to be totally honest with you, the one thing that hurts me the most is the fact Santos showed me I have no friends here. I feel betrayed by you in the worse way. Who the fuck will think up such a bet? " A strangled noise left my throat.

"I can live with a lot of shit but this duplicity from you who I saw as my friends and family is too much … I just can't comprehend, I loved you all and treated you accordingly, how could you?" I asked hearing the misery in my voice, not expecting an answer. Santos just looked at me with a smirk on his face, which I had thought so gorgeous before.

"Thank you for listening to me, I will leave you now, have a happy life you all." I felt like I could swoon any moment now and moved away towards the control room door, hell bent on leaving.

I was shivering uncontrollably and focused on my escape and when I succeeded that, I just want to die. Still no sound was heard, even when I started to leave, when I turned I walked into Ranger. I knew instantly it was him. He exuded such anger, power and strength it scared me for a moment. His body was sending waves of rage feeding my despair. But then he steadies me as he took hold of my shoulders gently and said with precise diction.

"You are not going anywhere Stephanie; I want you to stay and listen to what I have to say to my employees and former friend." He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me to him and started to speak, holding me up against him while I hide my face on his chest.

"I have heard and seen all what has occurred here in the last hour, I have never been so disappointed in and infuriated at my men as I am now. NEVER! I do not know yet who had the idea to make a bet about…." he waved his hand about with a countenance full of revulsion, "this. But I tell you now, you are fired. Lester I want you to get all what's yours packed, and out of here ASAP, do you hear? I will never see you again; do be very careful, if I do, I will kill you. As of the rest of you, who had a hand in this bet, you will come to me tomorrow and I will deal with you in a way I deem fit. Dismissed!"

"You take fucking side with that whore?" Lester screamed enraged at Ranger making me shudder.

Carlos laid one hand on my hair, softly stroking it to calm me and held me closer. He replied ever so softly and I am sure with deadly intent. "Yes I do, any day. Now get out."

Lester said a little less cocky, surprise filtering through, "but I'm family? I always have your back. I just fucked that piece of nothing in your arms. She's not worth it, man."

Again the deathly soft voice was used, if it would have been directed at me I had fled the building long ago, never to be seen again. "No you're not, no you don't, and yes she is. Now go."

All the men left silently, including Lester Santos, directed to the door by Tank.

I felt Carlos lift me up as he cradled me in his arms walking towards the stairs to his apartment, whispering to me again and again while walking up. "I love you. I am so sorry Babe. I'll take you home now."

In your arms I'm home right now, I thought before I passed out.

The end.