SHADOWS ON THE WALL
After '100' and 'A Slave to Duty', we see Jack and Hotch trying to get past Haley's death. Night is invariably the hardest part, because that's when you can't control your dreams. Oneshot about one of those nights at the new Hotchner household
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Jack hadn't slept alone since Haley had been gunned down. The whole week he curled up with his daddy, dressed in Captain America pjs.
Hotch, laying on his back in the bed in his apartment, was grateful for the child sprawled across his chest. A large warmth, breathing in tune and covers tucked around them both.
God, he was raw. Everything, even getting up, hurt him deeper. But Jack needed things-his breakfast, someone to watch over him, help bathing and getting dressed. Jack needed his daddy.
It had been JJ who convinced him to lay Haley on the floor of their old bedroom and go down.
"Jack wants his daddy, Hotch. Come on."
He followed her blindly, rubbing the tears away as he stumbled downstairs and onto the lawn, the glorious clear weather that would have Haley call him to get off work early, come home, and go to the park as a family.
He had picked up Jack. He had told him how Mommy was gone forever, and then Jack started to cry, which made Hotch start to again, this time into his son's hair.
No one questioned them at the scene. He wasn't sure who to thank for that. All of the team, probably.
Jack shifted against him, snuffling. Hotch automatically pulled him a little closer. "It's okay, buddy."
Jack had told him he wanted to sleep with Daddy the first night in the apartment because of the shadows. "They're all different from the shadows in my room, Daddy. I don't like them."
So Jack had moved into Hotch's room and apparently it was permanent because most of his favorite toys had migrated with him. Even though he had his own room and bed, where all his clothes and most of his toys were, Jack slept regularly with Daddy and got up early with him too.
Jack tried to do a complete roll, something that accompanied the start of a nightmare. Hotch shifted and began to whisper in his ear, hoping to quell the dream before it began in earnest.
"Nothing bad's happening, I promise. You're safe with Daddy, buddy. No bad guys here. Just you, me, and Captain America."
The action figure that was Jack's favorite was in the bed, too, poking Hotch in the neck with a plastic arm.
"No bad shadows. Daddy's here, baby."
It was a good thing Jack was asleep. Ever since he could form the words he demanded that nobody call him 'baby'-except Mommy, of course. Mommy was exempt from all demands and rules.
Maybe it was that word, tangled in his mind so it wasn't Daddy but Mommy who said it. But Jack settled into Hotch again, breathing even.
"I love you, baby."
He kissed Jack's head.
Jack was right, the shadows were different. There had been a variety when he'd lived in that house with Haley-rounds in the left corner, a sharp box on the right. Hotch's shadows were all wrong, all sharps and no rounds or smooths.
There had been a vase in their bedroom that made the left corner shadow. It had come from a yard sale when they had started dating. He'd bring it to the apartment, too, and set it up. Maybe it would make Jack feel better if the shadows were more right.
FINIS
Author's Note: Just a short thing I've been mulling over since `100', about how those two tried to cope. I love readers and I love reviews!