DISCLAIMER: Joss owns Connor and company and the Billy Madison people own the Billy Madison idea.

SUMMARY: In exchange for letting Connor move back into the hotel, Angel mandates that he go back to school starting with kindergarten, Billy Madison-style.

PROLOGUE:

            Angel thought very hard for a moment, and then spoke his decision. "Connor, you can move back into the hotel as long as you go back to school and pass all the grades starting with kindergarten."

            "I knew we shouldn't have let him see Billy Madison," Cordelia said. "After being alive two hundred years, you stop seeing the difference between reality and sophomoric humor."

            "At least we didn't show him Big Daddy," Gunn commented. "Cuz if Angel starts putting down newspaper for Connor, I'm moving out."

CHAPTER 1: KINDERGARTEN

            "Okay, boys and girls, now we're going to draw pictures of our families."

            Connor picked up a yellow crayon, thinking, this is stupid. I should be out killing demons, not playing nice-nice with ankle-crawlers. Still, if he wanted to move back into the Hyperion and get away from life on the streets he had to keep his deal with Angel. Reluctantly he began to draw his family. He drew himself with big muscles and a bloody sword. Then he drew Cordy wearing a skanky outfit. After thinking for a moment, he added Gunn and Fred, each carrying a crossbow. Finally he drew Angel.

            "Who's this?" the teacher asked, pointing at Cordelia.

            "My dad's girlfriend," he replied.

            "Well isn't that nice," the teacher said. "And who's this?" she asked, pointing to a very weak-looking man wearing black clothes and a huge frown.

            "That's my father," Connor said. He added one last person to the picture, using a green crayon.

            "And who's that?" the teacher asked.

            "That's Lorne," Connor said, "this freak who lives with us."

            "Is that why you made him green?" the teacher asked.

            Connor shook his head. "No, he really is green."

            "Don't you have an imagination," the teacher said.

            "I don't," Connor said seriously. He didn't smile, even as the teacher told him that he had passed kindergarten.