Gone tomorrow
Authors Note: Wow it's been awhile since I did anything BTR; I'm kinda glad to be back. Of course in my day we were just excited when the fandom reached 100 stories. Anyway this is kind of my explanation for the lack of Kendall/Logan moments on the show as of late. So let me know what you guys think!
Logan is on his bed reading a medical textbook; it's one of the few things that calm him down now 'a days. There were several things that used to soothe him back when he was in Minnesota: Hockey, his mom's cookies, and his best friend.
Of course at the moment it's his best friend that is causing his problems.
He doesn't openly admit that Kendall is his favorite in his group of friends, but in his head he knows it's true. Kendall has been his best friend since he can remember. Kendall has always been the one he can count on for anything, and the one he would bend over backwards for.
Maybe that's why he's in this mess.
He is facing away from the door, but he hears Kendall walk into their shared room and gently shut the door. Logan doesn't move; he knows Kendall will beside him in seconds.
Sure enough Kendall lies down beside him and starts running a hand through the hair at the nape of Logan's neck. He wants to lean into the touch, but he doesn't. It would be the wrong way to start this conversation.
"Hey Logie." Kendall says softly.
"Hey Kendall." Logan says keeping his voice even.
"What's wrong?" Kendall asks turning Logan away from his textbook.
"Nothing." Logan says, but it's a total lie. There is something wrong, and it's Kendall. Logan knows he just got off the phone with Jo; he heard the screaming.
Kendall just stares at him as if he's waiting patiently for Logan to spill his guts, which is appropriate since that is exactly what he's doing.
"Look Kendall, it's nothing. I just want to read, okay?" Logan says turning away from Kendall.
"Logan." Kendall says as he puts a hand on the smaller boy's waist.
"Kendall, just don't okay? I don't want to do this." Logan says. He had planned on confronting Kendall, but he just doesn't think he can now that he's actually here.
"Do what?" Kendall asks as he turns Logan to face him again.
"You know what Kendall." Logan says as he settles for looking down instead of turning away from Kendall.
"Logan…" Kendall says in a voice that just sets off a trigger in Logan that makes him want to explode.
"I-I just-I don't." Logan takes a moment to sigh and take a deep breath. "You don't want this."
"What?" Kendall asks looking genuinely confused.
"This." Logan says pointing between him and Kendall. "You and me."
"That's not true-" Kendall starts, but Logan cuts him off.
"Yes it is. Kendall, you only want this when it's easier. You only want to be with me when it's too complicated to be with someone else." Logan says looking into Kendall's green eyes.
"How can you say that? Gosh, how can you even think that?" Kendall asks trying to cup Logan's face, but Logan pushes his hand away.
"Because it's true. You get in a fight with Jo and all of a sudden I'm the one you want. It was the same way in Minnesota. You had dated every girl you liked, so why not be with me?"
Kendall looked like Logan had stabbed him.
"That's not-"
"Not what? Not true? It's completely true. That's why you're here right now. You and Jo got into another fight and you don't want to handle it. Things come so easily to you and you just expect every aspect of your life to be that way, but your love life just doesn't come as easily to you as everything else does, and when it doesn't your first instinct is to go to something that is easy. I'm easy for you. You know me, and we click. We don't have to work at things to make it work, it just does. And that is why you as a straight man can be with me."
"You're wrong-"
"About what? How am I wrong?" Logan asks angrily.
"All of it. I don't expect love to be a cake-walk, and I don't just like you because things are easy with you. Heck, some things are harder with you-"
"Which is why you're dating Jo-"
"Just let me talk." Kendall says desperately. "I like that we click, I do, but that's not the only reason I want to be with you. And I'm not a straight guy trying to play with you Logan; I've told you I'm bi."
"No you're not. You've never even looked at a guy who wasn't me. You're just so comfortable with me that you can avoid disgust."
"I can avoid disgust because I like you and I find you attractive." Kendall says as he rubs a hand up Logan's side.
"You're straight." Logan says without a hint of doubt in his voice.
"Why are you the only one allowed to be bi?" Kendall asks glaring.
"Because I'm the only one who is, Kendall. I like boys and girls. You like girls and me on occasion. It's a little different." Logan says pushing Kendall's hand off of his side.
"Of course it is."
"It is Kendall. It's why you are only with me for a night at a time."
"Maybe I only want you for one night at a time because that's all you want me for." Kendall says accusingly.
"You dumped me a week into L.A. You get with me every time you and Jo fight, and then you leave the second she calls. How is that my fault?"
"What was Camille then?" Kendall asks.
"A girl I dated when you decided you wanted to be with Jo." Logan says angrily.
"And what about James and Carlos? You're always off screwing around with Carlos, or hanging all over James!" Kendall shouts.
"What are you talking about? Carlos and James are my friends, and I definitely don't 'hang' all over James!" Logan shouts. "You are the only friend I would ever date!"
"Then why have you been treating me like I don't exist?" Kendall shouts finally sitting up, with Logan following suite.
"Because you're always with Jo! And you ignore me when she's around!" Logan shouts in Kendall's face.
"I'm sorry." Kendall says suddenly sad and desperate instead of angry.
"You just- You leave me every time Kendall. How long am I supposed to wait until you decide I'm definitely not the one you want? How many times do I let you leave before I grow a pair and cut you off? Tell me." Logan says pleading with Kendall.
"I'm sorry I put you through that. I didn't mean to. You know I didn't mean to. I love you." Kendall says pulling Logan to him and hugging him hard.
"Sometimes that's hard to believe." Logan mumbles against Kendall's neck.
Kendall pushes Logan slightly farther away so that he can look onto his eyes. "I don't want it to be hard to believe." He says as he cups Logan's face. This time Logan doesn't move to counter the touch.
"I want to be with you; I'm sorry I ever made you doubt that." Kendall says gently before leaning in to kiss Logan tenderly on the lips.
"You're gonna be gone tomorrow." Logan mumbles against Kendall's lips.
"I won't." Kendall says as his hands work their way under Logan's shirt.
Logan wants to continue arguing, but as Kendall's hands move down his body he finds himself unable to offer up an argument. It's always that way when Kendall's involved.
Kendall's touch is intoxicating, it's Logan's drug. When the blonde's hands touch him he feels sparks fly through his body. It's as though every brain cell in his body ceases to function and every intelligent thought he's ever had flies out of his head. He can't think with Kendall's hands on him, and doesn't want to.
Kendall's hands sink lower on Logan's body as every article of clothing is removed and thrown to the floor. With every touch Logan feels himself withering under Kendall and groaning so loudly that he's surprised nobody has come to see what's going on.
Kendall always takes him to new heights, always knows exactly how to touch him to bring him over the edge. He makes Logan feel so much in every way and he knows that no one else will ever be able to match Kendall.
No one else will ever make him feel like this. No one else will have him begging for more, while at the same time giving him more than he can even hope to handle. No one else will ever satisfy him.
That's why he lets Kendall use him.
Kendall is the only person he has ever met that can satisfy him both physically and mentally. Everyone else pales in comparison. The truth is that Kendall is the only one he actually wants.
Camille couldn't even begin to fill the hole that Kendall left. She didn't know him the way Kendall did; she couldn't understand him the way Kendall did. Logan tried with her, but in the end he just wanted Kendall.
Kendall is doing things with his tongue that makes Logan drag his fingernails down his back. Logan is losing control of his body and everything is becoming pure instinct. His body can't handle the things Kendall is doing to it, and the sweet nothings that are pouring out of Kendall's mouth are making his emotions flair.
His senses are overloaded and he finally can't take it anymore as his vision goes white and he explodes onto Kendall's chest with Kendall following behind him.
The two boys disconnect only for Kendall to pull Logan back against him to spoon. Logan knows Kendall is mostly asleep when he speaks next. "I love you."
"You will." Logan says continuing the argument from before the sex, but he knows Kendall doesn't hear him. So instead he leans into Kendall and lets the heat of his warm body envelop him. He falls asleep quickly in a way that's only possible when he's lying with Kendall.
When morning comes Logan is awakened by the sound of Kendall talking happily on his cell phone. He's talking to Jo.
Logan just wishes he was surprised.