AN: So I've decided recently, that I rather like writing one shots. So instead of flooding my page with one chapter stories, I've decided to make something I like to call the ultimate one shot. Each chapter will be it's own little story. Some will be smutty, some will be song fics, some will make you happy, some might make you cry, who knows some may even make you angry (Sorry if that happens, unless that was my intention…). I have a lot of ideas floating around in my head right now, and I'm not all together sure which way I'm going to take with them. So bear with me and if you have any ideas, feel free to submit them. ;) As always, Enjoy!
Olivia's POV
I could feel myself falling. Head over heels falling. And this time, there were no stairs involved. I was spinning into infinity. You know, that head long spiral that steals your breath and stops your heart. I was falling in love.
Elliot's breath was in my ear, short and even. His arms were wrapped around me protectively and a quiet snore escaped his lips. But I couldn't sleep. Ever since Elliot and Kathy got divorced we had secretly been dating. And I mean secretly, not even Casey knew.
No one knows because I'm afraid. I know that once Cragen finds out, El and I won't be partners anymore. And lately I haven't been sleeping because of all my worrying. El and I have gotten pretty serious lately. I've always known that I love him, but never like this. I'm just worried that if things get even more serious, one of us will have to transfer out and I've found myself asking the inevitable: "Is he worth it?"
I mean I love my job at SVU and I know Elliot does too. Is this relationship really worth all the possible pain? I hate to even think it, but…
Elliot stirred around me. He opened one eye and noticed me staring at him.
"Hey," he said, softly. "You still up?"
He kissed my cheek.
"I couldn't sleep," I confessed.
"Why not?"
"I've got a lot of stuff on my mind right now."
Elliot sat up, so my head would lay in his lap. He started stroking my hair.
"Tell me about it," Elliot instructed.
"El -," I shook my head.
"Liv, didn't we promise not to keep secrets from each other anymore?"
"Well, yeah, but…"
"Tell me," Elliot urged.
I looked up into his wide blue eyes. He was so understanding lately, maybe he would understand my view point. He wouldn't be mad…right?
"I've been worrying about some things," I told him.
"Like what?"
"Us."
I felt Elliot's fingers tighten around a strand of my hair.
"I mean we can't keep our relationship a secret forever. Cragen is going to find out and what then? We won't be partners anymore. And then when we get married," I rambled.
"Married?" Elliot smirked.
Curse that verbal diarrhea.
"I'm just thinking El, one of us will have to transfer out. And well I…I was just…just wondering…."
I gulped.
"Is our personal relationship worth it?" I fessed up barely above a whisper.
Elliot immediately stopped playing with my hair, but didn't say anything. Oh God, I've ruined it. I'm such a screw up.
"Liv," Elliot started.
He pulled me into a sitting position so he could look me in the eyes directly.
"How. Can. You. Even. Ask. Me. That?" Elliot said so slowly like each word was a different sentence.
I tried to look away as my cheeks turned redder than the wine we had with our dinner, but Elliot cupped my head in his hands and forced my head up to his.
"Liv?"
"I can't imagine going to work without you there or even going and you not being my partner. For nine years you've always had my back…"
"What makes you think I won't have it now?"
I sighed. It was hard to explain. I should have faked being asleep. I doubt that would have worked though, Elliot knows what I look like when I sleep. Apparently he watches me all of the time.
"It's complicated," I mumbled.
I wriggled out of his grip and slid back down to rest my head in his lap.
"There you go again. What is it with you and that phrase?"
"Elliot, I just don't want to lose our friendship if things don't work out."
"Trust me, Liv. They will."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I know what's in my heart and I know what's in yours. Sure I've loved before, but never like this. You have my full heart. Every inch of it belongs to you. I was never that open with Kathy. And I know you feel the same way."
"Do you?" I smirked.
"Yes. You open up around me too. I've seen you cry, Liv."
"So has everyone at work," I pointed out with a laugh.
"Yeah, but I've seen you really cry. Remember when you finally told me what happened to you in that basement on that undercover junkie case? You cried Liv, so hard. No one else has seen that vulnerable side of you."
"I trust you, El. With my life, my secrets…" I trailed off as I felt the tears coming.
Crying was something that I rarely did. I was never one to "wear my heart on my sleeve." But around Elliot, things seemed to change. It was like I wanted him to know this other side of me, to love this other side of me.
"So then trust me when I tell you that everything is going to be okay," Elliot assured me. "You and me, we'll live happily ever after together."
He pulled me into a sitting position again, but this time it was so he could kiss me. His kisses made me melt every time. Elliot pulled away and looked me in the eyes.
"Do you trust me?" he asked.
I knew what I was about to say was extremely cheesy, but at this point I didn't care. I just wanted Elliot Stabler to know I was his forever.
"El, I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth."
He smiled and kissed me again.
"I love you," he whispered into my mouth.
"I love you too," I whispered back. "Always have, always will."
Elliot wrapped his arms around me and shifted so we were both laying down.
"So what's with this talk about marriage?" Elliot asked with a sly grin.
"Oh that? Just a bad case of verbal diarrhea," I lied. "It was nothing really."
"You sure?"
How was I supposed to answer that? Of course I wanted to marry him. I wanted him to father my children for crying out loud. But how was I supposed to know if he wanted the same? Maybe he just wanted to continue with this secret relationship thing we had going. But why would he want that?
"Liv?"
"Yeah?"
He reached over me to get to his bed side table. He opened the drawer and pulled out a small velvet box. It didn't register in my mind what that box was or what it held inside.
"Are you sure it's nothing? Cause I really would love to call you my wife…"
"Oh you would, would you?"
"Yes."
He opened the box and staring back at me was a big, fat, sparkling, diamond ring.
"Marry me, Olivia Benson."
I took the ring out of the box and slid it on my left ring finger in response. I smiled at him.
"Why Elliot Stabler, how ever did you know?" I asked with a grin.
"Simple," he said, kissing me, "I know what's in your heart."
He knows what's in my heart. Simple as that. I guess I could say the same about him, I just wasn't listening. I should've known that as long I'm with him, everything would be okay. As long I love him, he'll love me, and our life together will be amazing.