The Order of Lunacy
The teen sat at the head of a long wooden table that was very much like the tables in the Great Hall of Hogwarts. His spot was immaculate and organised. Several rolls of parchment were stacked to the side and another was unrolled with a dicta-quill resting against it and the inkwells filled with rich green ink, identical in colour to the ink Hogwarts' official letters used. His green eyes cast steady looks over the rest sitting along the table, half of who were arguing, while the rest looked ready to fall to pieces. And thus the council meeting began like any other time.
"Order!" the teen shouted. "We now begin the Emergency Council Meeting on the 4th April 1996."
Along the table about twenty different versions of the same teen straightened, except a rather tired looking Harry at the back who was sleeping on a pillow on the table.
Head Harry sighed. Nothing to do about it. That particular version was always sleeping. "For those of you who are unawares, Hormones has brought a very important issue to our attention."
Eyes turned to Hormone Harry. In recent years he had worked his way up nearer to the head of the table as his importance increased and had already made himself at home after his latest promotion in the seat that previously belonged to Common Sense. As the attention turned to him, he blushed slightly and pushed a Play Wizard magazine out of sight.
Hormone Harry cleared his throat with a small cough. "Whilst working in collaboration with Emotion and Attachment," he glanced over at a Harry that they had attached a permanent mood ring to (fortunately he was currently in a good mood) and a Harry whose desk was cluttered with belongings and photos, "we have discovered something very disturbing."
The blue mood ring on Emotion Harry quickly changed colour to purple. "We're in love with Ginny Weasley," he sighed dazedly. Then just as suddenly as the fist colour change the stone turned black, the dazed look was wiped off the Harry's face and replaced with panic and anxiety. "What are we going to do. It's Ginny! Ron's little sister. She has older brothers, a nasty temper, and -"
Hormone Harry grinned lecherously. "We want to bonk her."
Common Decency, who had previously been fussing over Vulgar's language flushed red in mortification. "You can't say that."
Humour grinned. "What should he say then. We want to shag her, get busy in the bedroom, do the horizontal tango, the old in-and-out, butter her muffin, do the bump, do the nasty, a little bit of hanky panky, do the funky chicken, bump the uglies, have hot monkey sex, tap her a-"
"Order!" Head Harry shouted, when several aspects of his personality looked ready to faint or die in embarrassment. "I think everyone gets it."
A young looking Harry, about seven years old, raised his hand nervously, whilst using the other one to clutch a stuffed rabbit to his chest.
"Yes, Naivety?"
"I don't get it?"
"Discretion, if you would please," Head Harry asked.
Discretion, a rather unnoticeable Harry with only a few items on the table in front of him, leaned past Naivety's chocolate cake and whispered in the ear of the other Harry, whose green eyes grew wider and wider.
"Eww! People actually do that? But it's gross and messy."
Humour laughed and Hormone grinned lecherously. "Because it's fun," he explained.
"Stop it," Head Harry snapped. "Back to the problem at hand. We're in love with Ginny. What are we going to do?"
Attachment Harry clutched a picture of the girl in question to his chest. "We marry her," he said, "Then she's ours forever."
Almost all the other Harrys shouted out their disapproval. Proposing to the girl would cause the problems they were trying to prevent.
"We could run away," Avoidance suggested, his table space covered in face down photos and poorly hidden objects all pushed to the furthest edge of his space.. Many Harry's murmured their agreement.
"But where would we go?" Logic asked. Logic's table was organised and followed the laws of reason, unlike Creativity whose table had things falling at impossible speeds of slowness and fires burning without any fuel. Logic was known to glare in Creativity's direction quite a bit. Logic was also known to glare at Magic as well.
"Australia," Dreams sighed, looking down at the world map with coloured pins and strings leading to postcards that was on his table space. "We'd along the coast, to the Great Barrier Reef. Then we'd visit the desert, before hopping on a cruise ship to Africa. We'd go on safari, perhaps even help subdue a nundu. After that we'd go to the Amazon. We'd grab a boat and relax as we travelled up the Nile into the fores-"
"That's it," Decisiveness, in front of him was a single organiser with carefully laid out plans.
"How would going on a world tour help?" Logic asked derisively.
"No, no. Not that," Decisiveness said quickly, making Dreams sink sadly into his chair. "The bit about travelling up the Nile. It's so obvious. We deny those feelings. Repress, repress, repress. That's what I say."
"That's brilliant," Creativity commented. "Why didn't I come up with that?"
"Because you're too busy looking at a pickled shark and calling it art, that's why," Common Sense pointed out.
"All in favour of repressing the feelings for Ginny Weasley raise your hand," Head Harry said, watching as most the hands went in the air. "All opposed." A few hands were lifted. "The Emergency Council Meeting on the 4th April 1996 has voted in favour of repressing the emotions felt for Ginny Weasley."
There was a pause in the meeting before the Harrys in attendance turned to Hormone, Emotion, and Attachment with grins on their faces and sacks, rope, and duct tape in their hands.
It was time to earn a promotion.