Chapter One

The Loneliness that Crushes

[Hueco Mundo]

The dream was as always something that made him wake up with an ache inside him that was bone deep and nearly crushed him. He sat alone on an overlook and watched the hollows below him mill about. There was a good twenty-meter space around him where nothing came close to him. Somewhat further out, there were a few hollows that had died trying to encroach on his small territory. The world of Hueco Mundo had moved on since Aizen's defeat. And Coyote Starrk was lonelier than ever for he no longer had Lilynette to ease his pain.

Lilynette had died in the fight with the Shinigami, and he almost had. It was only by sheer luck that he had managed to retreat through a garganta he opened. The only reason he hadn't been attacked by roaming hollows in Hueco Mundo had been because of his sheer reiatsu that kept them at bay. Even injured, he exuded enough energy to crush them. He'd managed to recover, his power returning slowly, and including the power he had given Lilynette. He found he still had his resurrection, but he missed Lillynette's banter and companionship.

That was the dream, of course. It was always the dream. Lillynette's presence would comfort him and they would talk, and everything felt less lonely. But she was gone. He rubbed his hands over his face, fingers dancing along the mask fragment. He looked down into the valley he sat above. He smelled the sweet scent from a beta hollow that were near him. His instincts were crying out for him to find a mate, but he knew better. He had never could find a mate that he didn't destroy by his mere presence. He'd sensed more than one vasto lorde classed hollow nearby, and at least two packs of the hollows left over from Aizen's days, but even they were not near his sheer power. He sighed deeply and wished that he would end his lonely existence one way or another.

Upon returning to Hueco Mundo, Starrk had found things in chaos. Most of the Espada were dead, and those that weren't, were trying to maintain some semblance of control. The ruins of Las Noches had become nothing but a dangerous place for any but the strongest among Hueco Mundo's residents. Old power left the place a magnet for the power hungry. There was a nest of a particular hollow that even Starrk avoided inside the bowels of that place. It was ancient, and undying, and even before he became an Arrancar, he knew their scent. There had been many Arrancar set free onto the sands of Hueco Mundo that had no purpose any longer except to use their strength to try and control some part of the land. Starrk knew that Tier Harribel and her fraccion had managed to get back as well, and had carved out a small part of a canyon for their use. The last he had heard, Grimmjow had joined her in a partnership of a type.

He had been about to lay back against his rock when he heard a scream. It wasn't a hollow scream, though. It was…human?

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

[Karakura Town]

The first indication that something was off with Ichigo was that he stopped talking, then slowly, he simply stopped altogether. It had been over two years since he'd given up his power, and life, for the most part, and he had moved on. At least, that's what outside appearances said. That's what everyone thought. He had been doing well, attending school, becoming a doctor. He met his friends with smiles and laughter, though, and those that knew him were well aware of how fake those things were to the boy.

Then, Ichigo just stopped communicating. Orihime noticed first, when she would talk to him he'd stare at her and refuse to speak. For a while, they just thought he was going through a rough period again. He'd started the university levels, and was doing as well as he always had in high school. Then, though, he stopped going to school at all. He would often be found sitting and staring into space in his room, unmoving for hours on end.

Isshin sat at Urahara's not long after he stopped leaving the house for school. "I don't understand what's happening to him," he said with a sigh as he looked at his old friend.

Urahara shook his head. "He hasn't been by lately. I'm not sure what is going on with him."

"I'm worried, he doesn't talk, and he barely leaves his room. And I don't know what to do about it," Isshin sipped his tea as he looked around the room. "Can you come see him?"

"I can try. Have you tried letting Karin or Yuzu talk to him?"

Isshin nodded. "He doesn't even act like they're in the same room with him. It is disconcerting."

"This is a human issue, right? There's no reiatsu present still?" Urahara asked, hoping that something wasn't happening that they hadn't anticipated.

Isshin shook his head. "None. I've checked every way I know how, and I've had Rukia do the same. I just…I know what to do with dangers from hollows and Soul Society, but this sort of thing…"

Urahara agreed and sometime later he knocked on Ichigo's door. There was no answer, so he went into the room, announcing himself as he entered.

Ichigo looked up from where he was sitting on his bed. He wasn't doing anything at all, just sitting there, seemingly staring into space. He tilted his head to the side and frowned at Urahara.

"Kurosaki-kun, I wanted to check on you," Urahara said as he leaned against the doorframe. "I haven't seen you come by the shoten, and I wanted to find out if all was well with you."

Ichigo was silent for a long time and then shrugged. "I'm fine," he said finally and flopped back on his bed. Urahara stood there for a long moment in confusion. That was perhaps one of the oddest reactions he'd seen from Ichigo in all his days knowing him.

"Are you sure? Your father is concerned with your lack of school attendance when you had been doing so well…" Urahara said as he approached.

Ichigo shrugged and for a second, Urahara thought he saw Ichigo's expression change to one of fear but then it returned to the mask of indifference. "Just fine," he muttered and rolled over on the bed to face the wall.

Urahara reached out his senses and felt…nothing. He nodded and headed out of the room.

Ichigo, though, was screaming, but no one could hear it because it was only in his own head. It had been like this for months on end. He had no control of himself at all. His body moved and did things but he had no idea why or how. He'd been out walking after dark one night almost six months before, and he'd felt like someone was watching him. He remembered something slamming into him and then everything was black. The next he saw he was watching from his eyes…but he was a passenger in his own body. He heard his voice now and then, but never many words. He felt as though someone was trying to pull information from his memories, and he tried to stop them. The process was painful, and he would eventually give up and let whoever it was have his thoughts and memories. Only the surface though, and he eventually figured out how to let go of memories so whatever it was thought it had found them. He desperately tried to keep his past as a Shinigami away from it. He had no idea why it was important, but he felt like that would be a mistake.

He was frantic to get this torment to end, but he couldn't even tell someone that something was wrong. There was no response from whoever, or whatever, was controlling his body. He just wanted to be in control again. That was all. He wanted help, but he couldn't figure out how to tell them he wanted it.

After Urahara left, his body stood and went into the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror and watched himself. He had been trying to force control for the last month or two. He'd saved his strength for nearly two weeks now and he wanted to see if he couldn't either get their attention or end this. Either was sufficient. At least if he died, he would get to Soul Society again. This wasn't how he wanted to do it, but anything to stop this. Anything. Finally, he managed all his strength and forced one hand under his control. He only had moments as he grabbed a pair of scissors from the medicine cabinet shelf and flicked them open and quickly sliced open his opposite arm. It was a deep cut, and blood began spurting everywhere. Then, his control was gone and he watched as his hand went over the damage and for the first time, Ichigo sensed emotion not his own.

It was confusion. Then it turned to anger, and then rage.

He felt his body become dizzy and he moved toward the door, knocking a jar to the ground with a crash. He heard his father yelling as he grabbed the door and then looked to see his father's face. He looked at him and struggled against the consciousness that was trying to push him back.

"Help…me…" Ichigo choked out as he fell forward into Isshin's arms. Whatever was controlling him weakened enough that he was able to speak, just for a second. He hoped that his father realized that there was more going on than what he could see.

He woke in the hospital; a psych ward, he realized as he felt his body sit up on the bed. Of course, this was a human issue to his father. There was no way his father could know anything else. He picked up his arm and looked at the bandage. His fingers plucked the bandage off to find the rough cut had been sutured with seven stitches. Then, Ichigo realized that whatever was controlling his body was angry, truly angry, and he realized that he would regret his cry for help. A horrible rage was building, and Ichigo was scared because he couldn't stop whatever this was.

He stood and moved to the two-way mirror and stared at his reflection and Ichigo screamed as the entity began ripping through every memory in his mind. This time, it felt like claws scraping down into the heart of him and tearing at his soul. This wasn't the gentle curious tugs at his memories around the edges, this was cutting him open and laying everything bare. The pain was like nothing he'd ever felt and there was no pause, no end. He screamed and flailed but it was no good. He couldn't get away from the pain searing through him as each memory was touched, tampered with, and warped. He felt helpless, alone, and couldn't breathe. He just wanted to die, just die, as he saw everything torn from his grasp, whatever this was delving into the deepest corners of his being. His mother, his sisters, Rukia, Renji, Aizen, everything was flooding up and drowning him.

Of course, outside, there was nothing. Two weeks passed and he was released into his father's care with a diagnosis of schizophrenia with catatonic features, provisionally, as they waited for testing to come back on other causes. Medications were prescribed and given. He didn't speak, and went through the motions to get out of the psychiatric facility.

In those two weeks, Ichigo's torment was unending. The entity was enraged, and each moment the body was awake, it tormented Ichigo's soul and ripped at the loose threads that began to fray. Self-doubt, anger, pity, self-loathing, it all started unraveling. Ichigo began seeing this thing that had control of him as some sort of twisted version of himself. While the body rested, he tried to retain his very sanity. If he ever did get control of his own body again, it would be a miracle if he was still functional at this rate.

Isshin sat at Urahara's table again and wondered what he'd done wrong after those two weeks. He had no idea the hell his son was enduring right before his very eyes.

"Isshin, this may have nothing to do with the powers or with anything of our worlds, you know. Sometimes, people his age develop these disorders," Urahara said with a sigh. "You know this."

"It isn't my son anymore," Isshin said quietly. "I…I don't know that person."

They sat for a long time in silence until Isshin went home. He found that Ichigo was standing outside staring into the distance. Nothing much had changed, and now that the doctors had diagnosed him, he wished he'd seen it sooner. He knew what catatonia looked like, but it was so hard to see in his own child. He sighed and put his hand on Ichigo's shoulder.

Ichigo turned and looked at him suddenly and smiled. "Ichigo loves you a great deal. But it's time for us to take him away," he said in a strange tone Isshin had never heard to Ichigo's voice.

Isshin pulled his hand back and frowned. "What does that mean?"

Ichigo stepped forward, flicking his wrist and to Isshin's shock a garganta opened. Ichigo turned back. "He resisted much. Fascinating. Strong soul, our soul. Consuming from the inside out is so much more satisfying. Especially once we take him home and activate his power again. The soul of a Shinigami is a rare delicacy for us indeed."

Ichigo's eyes glowed red for a moment, then he stepped into the garganta and it snapped closed.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Ichigo screamed, pushing him away from the memories that he knew might mean something…but it didn't matter. He tried to hold on and the memory was ripped from him. He'd tried so hard to hide this memory, mostly because it had something to do with the nature of his hollow. He was afraid what the knowledge would do for whatever had him. After he stepped through the garganta, though, Ichigo couldn't stop him from seeing it.

He was sweating again. Eleven seconds. He had to get more than eleven seconds… He didn't have time as the mask shattered again. He inwardly cursed as Hiyori was pressing him again. Harder now, he had to get this under control or he would be of no use in the coming battles. And if he didn't, he was going to get another flip-flop to the head. He went tumbling again, and got to his feet and set to go again…

"Oi, enough," yelled Shinji. "Come on, break for a while, you two."

Hiyori agreed and sighed as they left the warehouse. "I want to go check on something with getabishi," Ichigo said with a sigh. "So, I'll meet you back here in an hour?"

"Got it," the two Vizard said with a wave.

Ichigo flashed away, because there was something bugging him. A lot. Ever since he managed to subdue the inner hollow, something had been niggling at the back of his mind. Something felt…wrong. He entered the shoten and down to the basement area where he sensed Urahara, Chad and Renji were.

"Getabishi!" he called out and the man came over to him.

He smiled and snapped his fan open. "Yare, yare, what can I do, Ichigo-san?"

"Can we talk about something…upstairs?" he asked, frowning.

For a second, he swore Urahara looked confused. But he nodded and they headed back upstairs and he offered him tea. "So, what is it?"

Ichigo swallowed. "Since…since I got him under control, I've been feeling…weird. Not just with the mask, but all the time…" he said slowly, sipping the tea.

Urahara tipped his head to the side. "How so?"

"Like…something's missing. Something huge is just…not there. It…it isn't like I've lost anything, just something is not there that I desperately need and I don't know what it is…" he said thoughtfully. "Something that has never been there, but it was only once the hollow surfaced and I got some sort of control that I realized it."

Urahara looked thoughtful. "It would be impossible…" he muttered finally.

"What?" Ichigo asked.

"Hollows are like animals, pure, base instincts. Well one of those is the consume, another is to procreate, and while they don't do this like living beings, I've seen more sentient hollows take mates for short periods or lifetimes, which is often until one is devoured by another hollow. But I've never seen one of the Vizard have these compulsions. Perhaps…perhaps your hollow is stronger than the others…" he said thoughtfully.

Ichigo sat for a moment. "Well, I'll go back to the warehouse then, figure this out later. It isn't causing any problems…I just didn't know if it was related to being a Vizard…and well it is kinda embarrassing to tell Shinji and his bunch this kind of stuff."

Urahara gave him a rare, genuine smile. "Well, I am honored; now, get back, Ichigo-san before Hiyori-san plants her flip flop where it is not desired…"

Ichigo smiled and left. He always felt a bit better after talking to Urahara, even if he was now a bit more worried about what was happening.

Ichigo heard his own voice chuckle as he walked through the sands of Hueco Mundo. "So that's it, is it?" he said to himself. "But we need to release that sweet power so we might have our meal," Ichigo muttered. Once again, everything began to twist painfully and horribly as whatever this was began rifling in the depths of Ichigo's soul that were not meant to be felt by anyone save himself. The pain was excruciating, and if it had been physical, Ichigo knew his human body would have expired already. As it pushed further and further into Ichigo's soul, it seemed to be tearing at his very core. Finally, with a guttural scream, it pulled Ichigo's power free.

They hadn't counted on how much power Ichigo carried. The body that the entity had taken over was twisting and moving without it doing so. It let out a hollow scream as a cascading white color flowed over Ichigo's body.

What? The parasitic hollow asked as more than a Shinigami came to be in the body he inhabited with intent to devour.

It had been accidental that the creature had found itself in the human world. It had searched and latched onto the closest thing to a hollow signature it could find, for the sweet reishi would empower them. They had found instead a human Shinigami that had his power drained, and it was the first time they would have the chance to devour the soul of a Shinigami. It would be a treat, even if their ambient reishi wasn't as strong as the hollows. They didn't expect a vasto lorde hollow to begin squeezing the very life from within the very soul he was inhabiting. White hands with long black nails clutched a white, wormlike creature that writhed and squirmed in those hands. The thing screamed and twisted, but the black nailed white hands squeezed and squeezed.

"How dare you?" it hissed at him. "How dare you do this to my King?" the white faced creature said with a flick of a forked tongue. "Do you know what you've done? Do you have any idea? You've awakened a sleeping beast…and now you die…" he growled and all the happened was there was an audible pop, and Ichigo's body slumped to the ground.

In the distance, there was a communal scream as the hive lost one of their number. They wouldn't let such a prize go this easily, though, as from the writhing mass, a small worm that looked very much like the one Shiro had destroyed headed away from the ruins of Las Noches. They would have that power and continue to grow their colony until they could devour all of Hueco Mundo.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

"Shiro?" the black clad Zangetsu said as Shiro lay on the water logged building. "You are awake."

"Yeah, so are you. We…we're in trouble…" he said as he looked at Zangetsu.

"What happened?" Zangetsu asked.

"That hollow…it fucked his head up major. But worse than that is what is about to start."

"What is that?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"I…I had to do more than I should have…he's…he's more hollow than he was…I'm so sorry…" he said with a heavy sigh. "The thing, it was powerful. It had fed off his latent power for months the hollow powers mostly…and it turned him more like me and less like him…"

"It triggered the heat."

"I didn't know we were a beta…but I guess it makes sense, he's too fucking protective to be an alpha," he muttered and sighed. "They're coming. I can feel them. They're going to kill him, and I'm so weak I can't do anything…"

"They won't kill a valuable beta," Zangetsu said as they both heard the reverberating hollow calls outside them.

"If they're Arrancar, maybe not. But if we're found by a pack of adjunca…" he said as he found he couldn't even sit up. "Don't let my king die," he said and looked at Zangetsu for a moment before his eyes closed.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Ichigo gasped as he came awake, lying in the sand, wearing a different version of his shihakuso than he used to have. He sat up slowly and realized that it was mostly the same, but the jacket was tight fitting and there were gloves that covered his hands from the sleeves. He felt weird though. His head was pounding and he was hearing and seeing things that he couldn't be seeing or hearing. He stood up slowly, nearly falling as he did so. Someone caught him though. He gasped and looked up to see…an Arrancar?

"Well, well, what do we have here?" he said as Ichigo looked around him to see he was surrounded. There had to be ten of them, all Arrancar by the feel, it seemed. They were ones he'd never seen before but then it wasn't like he'd seen every Arrancar in Las Noches.

"Isn't that the Shinigami that Aizen had a hard on for?" one of the others said as he moved up and grabbed him by the face. He had a wide bone fragment over the top of his head that looked like some sort of helmet.

Ichigo's head was spinning madly. He could barely stand and he didn't know why. Everything was wrong. "How…how did I get here…" he whispered finally.

"Aw, the poor thing doesn't know how he got here…" someone said and they all laughed.

Why was he so weak? He had no idea but he wanted them to just let go of him. He tried to move but something was wrong. Not only was his head a mess, but his body was hot and flushed with feelings he didn't understand. If he had seen himself, he would have noticed the thick black markings that had started at the black circle on his chest and expanded over his shoulders and around his ribs. He couldn't see the red streaks that had appeared down his cheeks that were like the ones that were on his Vizard mask. He certainly hadn't realized there was a mask fragment around his neck that very nearly looked like a white collar of bone.

"What should we do with him? He smells sweet," one of them said and Ichigo couldn't focus on them.

"He's a beta, nice," another voice. "Smells ripe…"

The one holding him snorted. "Yeah, let's get him back to the camp. I'm sure we can all get a turn with him before the night's over and see if we can't get a kit outta him…"

"Kit?" Ichigo muttered and tried to pull away. "What…what's happening…"

Ichigo felt himself being picked up into a pair of arms and now he could see the one that had come up behind him. He was tall with what looked like tusks on either side of his jaw. He was grinning at him. "What's happening? You're a beta, that's what. And after Aizen created massive numbers of us alpha Arrancar, that's something in high demand. Especially Arrancar betas."

He took off in a sonido and soon enough Ichigo found himself dumped face down into the sand near a large set of hastily put up tents of some sort. A couple of lower adjuncas came toward him and Ichigo backed away from them. The first, the tusked Arrancar, kicked them away and grabbed Ichigo by the hair, dragging him back through the sand toward a tent. He gasped and kicked at the sand and told him to stop, but it didn't help much as he was thrown down again.

"I'm not an Arrancar at all!" he gasped as he tried to get his head to stop spinning.

He tried to push up and at least attack this Arrancar, but he found that the Arrancar was straddling his hips, forcing his clothes off him, and biting at the back of his neck. For some reason, he couldn't resist him. The second his teeth started touching his neck he was weaker than he had been. He sobbed out loud though, trying to put what was happening out of his head. Considering how much torment he'd been in just in his own mind, it didn't help, and he screamed out loud when he slammed into him.

"Shut up, you are an Arrancar, beta bitch, you smell like one from miles away whether you know it or not," the Arrancar growled and grabbed Ichigo by the back of his head and shoved his face into the sand. Unable to breathe, Ichigo's resistance slowly lessened and just before he blacked out, he pulled him up by his hair. "You are this pack's property, do you understand? And every one of us is going to claim you before the night is over, do you understand? And then, you'll bear a kit to one of us, and then, it all starts again, understand?"

Ichigo could barely see, let alone answer. He was so dizzy that he didn't know where one of them began and ended, he just wanted to hide, to run and get away from them. He couldn't, though. He couldn't even stand, let alone run. He coughed and spit sand after another one had tried to suffocate him in the sand when he cried out in pain. He had no idea how to get away. There were too many of them. But, when one of them was about to pin him down again, he felt a horribly heavy pulse of reiatsu.

The one over him gasped and pushed him to the ground and ran from the tent. There was no chance that he could stand up and run from whatever it was that just sent a relatively powerful Arrancar running. He gasped as he heard someone move near him and he tried to push away from them. But…they felt different…warm, even.

"No, stop, please…" he gasped as he felt someone grasp his face and turn it toward the creature that had come into the tent.

He vaguely recognized the face of one of the Espada. "Oh, my, you poor thing," he whispered and brushed a hand over his head. "Come, let us get you cleaned up," he said and swept him up into his arms.

Ichigo couldn't think but as they came out of the tent, he saw several of the Arrancar lying dead outside it. He phased out for a long time, it seemed and then screamed when he felt something warm and wet.

"Hush, now," came the deep, strong voice of the Arrancar that was still holding him. They were in some sort of warm spring. "Here, we need to clean you up," he said and Ichigo clung to him desperately as he stepped down into the water with him. "There, now," he said as he sat on a rock and pulled Ichigo to sit on his lap. He panted and looked up at him.

"What…who…" he whispered and looked at him.

"Coyote Starrk. I was the primera Espada. Now I am truly alone," he said and used his hands to cup water and drip it over Ichigo's face.

Ichigo was hot, though, but unlike the weird feeling before, this was incredibly uncomfortable and he just wanted to cool off. "Hot…why am I hot?" he asked as he let Starrk lay him back into the water.

"Ah, you are in a heat, what happens with beta hollows. Somehow, you have been altered to suit Hueco Mundo it seems," he said as Ichigo started to squirm on his lap. "You need to find your mate," Starrk said. "Then it will stop."

"But they…they…"

"They were not your mate," Starrk said with a smile as he spun him around to straddle his lap in the warm water. "I find it quite surprising myself to find my mate after so long," he said as he leaned forward and began to bite gently at Ichigo's neck.

Ichigo's body nearly wilted in his arms. And he wanted to feel him, every part of him. "Ha…please…I…don't understand…"

"It is fine, my love," Starrk said as he shifted and Ichigo nearly yelped as he felt the primera slide his long, thick cock inside him in one smooth move. "I will make you feel better, for now and forever," he said as he pulled Ichigo close to his chest and began slowly thrusting up into his body.

Ichigo arched backward and this time it felt right, like he was supposed to have his body filled like this, with his mate. He gasped as he felt like he was about to come apart from the incredible pleasure coursing through him. Moments later he screamed out as he came and at the same moment Starrk bit down into his neck. Reiatsu flashed around them and Ichigo felt the world blank out again, but this time, it wasn't as bad. However, in unconsciousness, his nightmares of the hollow that brought him here began devouring him.